burning bridges

[Guest guest]

I know this is incredibly neurotic, but do any of you worry about going NC and

burning bridges? What I mean is, what if one day my daughter needed a kidney and

I needed to find a match? Stuff like that. My husband rolled his eyes at me when

I mentioned this to him. I guess I am just afraid of regret.

[Guest guest]

Mozz,

This is my biggest worry when thinking about going NC. Only, my worry is that

when my nada dies, what will happen then? Will I regret it? Will I attend her

funeral? How will the rest of the family treat me if they see me?

I feel silly worrying about stuff like that. But I'm always afraid to burn

bridges of any kind.

With us, there is probably nothing to worry about. But I know your fear.

~Sara Jo

>

> I know this is incredibly neurotic, but do any of you worry about going NC and

burning bridges? What I mean is, what if one day my daughter needed a kidney and

I needed to find a match? Stuff like that. My husband rolled his eyes at me when

I mentioned this to him. I guess I am just afraid of regret.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sure I wll never go NC, stick with LC pretty well most of the time. However,

I can honestly say that if I could go NC I would never regret it. There are

many that think I am selfish for staying as separate as I do. No I am not

sorry. Regret what? A life of peace. Some control over my own life.

Developing a good self image, finally. No more IBS. My children not being

subjected to that crap. No major drama (you know, the imaginary kind). No, no

regrets. Trust me, if your daughter ever needs a kidney, you won't find it

there!

>

> I know this is incredibly neurotic, but do any of you worry about going NC and

burning bridges? What I mean is, what if one day my daughter needed a kidney and

I needed to find a match? Stuff like that. My husband rolled his eyes at me when

I mentioned this to him. I guess I am just afraid of regret.

>

[Guest guest]

You're right- they never in a million years would be that selfless. Thanks for

the reality check.

> >

> > I know this is incredibly neurotic, but do any of you worry about going NC

and burning bridges? What I mean is, what if one day my daughter needed a kidney

and I needed to find a match? Stuff like that. My husband rolled his eyes at me

when I mentioned this to him. I guess I am just afraid of regret.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

honestly I regret not doing it. I had every chance at 18 to separate as I lived

in a different state. I stayed involved, got in recovery, made amends I probably

didn't owe, and tried to be 'recovered' about my family issues (put up a front

that everything was 'in the past and we were going to be mature). my father and

to a lesser extent my mother aren't capable. I say her to a lesser extent

because he can't go through a day without being an arsehole where she mainly

goes for the jugular when I'm not bending to her will. and alot of their issues

are co-issues with me, that include both of them working together and can't be

separated out. but I would give anything on this earth if I'd had the courage to

completely go no contact, ever...I would have lost the time with my grandmother

but I think my life would be drastically different (better) if I'd left at 18

and never looked back.

>

> I know this is incredibly neurotic, but do any of you worry about going NC and

burning bridges? What I mean is, what if one day my daughter needed a kidney and

I needed to find a match? Stuff like that. My husband rolled his eyes at me when

I mentioned this to him. I guess I am just afraid of regret.

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I do think about that and a lot of other reasons as well.

Mostly my regret would be that my kids wouldn't have a relationship with my side

of the family. The only family we have is my mother and my brother.

We have extended family living blocks away, but--much too long a story to share

right now--my mother for various reasons withdrew from them and isolated us from

them, to the point now that I don't have a relationship with them and don't want

one. They seem as kooky as she is.

>

> I know this is incredibly neurotic, but do any of you worry about going NC and

burning bridges? What I mean is, what if one day my daughter needed a kidney and

I needed to find a match? Stuff like that. My husband rolled his eyes at me when

I mentioned this to him. I guess I am just afraid of regret.

>