What Do I Do NOW?

[Guest guest]

I just found out that a very, very good friend of mine who met my nada over a

year ago and diagnosed her with BPD (she is a mental health therapist) wrote my

nada thanking her for giving me the $ to move to a " much nicer apartment' and

how she feels so badly that my poor cat Butchie died. (I had to have Butchie

put down as some of you know as he was extremely sick and despite every effort

to save him, it failed) Anyway I felt why tell her since any time I brought up

my cats in ANY way she would always say " I matter! I am #1 with you and your

ONLY friend! Don't mention them to ANYBODY! You sound like a BABY when you do

that! "

She also made it a point to tell me several months ago (and I didn't bite and

move there by the way) that she DEMANDED I move down there and take care of her

24-7 as he " Slave " - yes she used the word slave! And I OWED her that because

when I was a baby she nursed me through colic and when I was in the 4th grade I

had double pneumonia so I owed her that and more for 'taking care of me and

putting up with me all those years growing up).

She went on to say at that time that one cat was ALLOWED to live with us but the

other would have to be 'put away'. At that time Butchie was well and so was my

cat Shadow! Also that the ground rules were that I was NOT allowed to date (I

am a divorced woman in my 50s) because 'dating is only for TEENAGERS and you are

'hardly a teenager'. She also went on to say then that I was allowed to 'only

bother with ONE friend Pip (another female) who SHE approved of and ONLY when

SHE saw fit. She told me NO internet - it is 'of the devil'. She told me she

would put me on a scale 3 times a day before meals and if I didn't LOSE enough

weight to satisfy her, she wouldn't 'allow' me to eat the next meal. She was

going to 'whip me into shape' and 'make me the daughter SHE wanted' - that she

was going to teach me to 'emulate her' and I was going to love it as she was

'perfect' and so was my friend Pip. The rest of us needed to 'learn' from her.

She is FAR from perfect let me tell you! I don't need to tell any of you that

anyway as you all live with the abuses of nadas unless you went n.c. I can't go

n.c. because I am an only child; I am Power of Attorney if something happens to

her etc. and there is too much inheritance at stake to go n.c. She is too close

to the end now to lose everything because of n.c. so I limit conversations to

her and continue to live 350 miles away.

Nada will say I " lied to her " keeping Butchie's passing from her. What do I say

now?