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Hugs. I am glad you had a good vacation. it has to feel weird though to expect

one reaction and receive another. You wouldn't be human if you didn't want her

to love you. You just want love, not 'the crazy'. Maybe a punishment for not

letting her know sooner? Passive aggressive? Either way she's still your mother

and it IS completely abnormal so I can empathize at your confusion.

>

> I am still pondering why my nada did not make an effort to meet up

> with my family while I was in the Northwest. Some of you will ask,

> what I am sighing about?

>

> I am sort of surprised at how easy it was to be emotionally OK with

> not seeing my parents. Not that I feel cold about it, or aloof. I

> could ask this, What kind of mom has no interest in visiting their

> child, who has not come to their part of the country in SIXTEEN years?

> Well, the kind of mother that does not know how to conduct herself as

> an equal to an adult daughter who speaks her mind, won't dye her hair

> gray and thus reminds her nada of her mortality, I guess.

>

> I am kind of relieved, of course, that nothing bad was said between us

> on the phone or face-to-face to spoil my family's vacation, but I had

> thought surely nada would reach back when she got my note... We

> could have made amends on the phone at least.

>

> I guess I am set free from obligation, fear and guilt. Now I have

> reality, and can learn to let go of my need to interpret nada's silence.

>

> Older, wiser and more sober every day.

>

>

>

>

>

>

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