And the crap just keeps coming...

July 17, 2010

So when nada died I thought I would finally be at peace. WRONG. How could I

forget about the rest of my dysfunctional FOO? Here's what happened- apparently

my aunt called nada's neighbor and the neighbor told her that I was having an

estate sale for nada's things this weekend. I am mad b/c I asked the neighbor

not to talk to my family. This neighbor is one of those types that tries to be

helpful and her heart is in the right place, but she keeps messing things up for

me. For example, she told the postman to take all nada's mail back to the post

office b/c I had filled out a change of address, which I did NOT. Stuff like

that. This neighbor is really stressing me out. But she's also done a lot to

help me too. Anyway, so my aunt calls my cousin and I get this frantic phone

call about how horrible it is that I am having an estate sale, that these people

are going through nada's things, blah, blah blah and that she wanted some of it

and would have treasured it. I let her in the house last weekend and told her to

take whatever she wanted, by the way. She also said that it was wrong of me to

spread nada's ashes even though that's what nada told me to do. So I sent her

short email basically saying that these things were left to me, it's my decision

and please respect my wishes. So I get this email back that is just reeking of

insult, assumptions and presumptions that make me think who the hell do you

think you are? I am not even going to respond. What's the point? I can't reason

with these people. They hurt me. I am so stressed about all this- I don't need

this. I hate that I let it get to me. I mean it was MY mom, and no one cares

about my feelings or even asks about my pregnancy. What really pisses me off is

that she gave me grief for not picking my mom's ashes up yet. Well guess what?

It took the crematorium a ridiculously long time to get the job done and I am

actually picking them up the soonest that I can, this Tuesday. I am just SO mad.

I am def. going NC with all of them. So do I tell them or just start ignoring

all contact attempts? I have never done this before. I feel like I should say

something, but then again that would just spark a bunch of back and forth. Like

I said, I can't reason with these people so what's the point? And why tell them

how I really feel about them to make me feel better? That's not taking the

higher road, although I have to admit I am tempted to give them all a piece of

my mind. I am really hurt by all this. And MAD. Mad that on top of the grief of

nada dying, and dealing with all those conflicting emotions while being pregnant

and trying to be present of my 17 month old I have to deal with this BS that is

so unnecessary. The icing on the cake- my mother in law is visiting and she is

perhaps the most annoying person I have ever met.

Last thought that just occurred to me. I am mad at nada. Mad that every single

thing about her and her life had to be difficult.

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