nada causing strife?

[Guest guest]

We are visiting my nada for the weekend for the first time in 6 months. It

is always tricky negotiating between my mom and brother's family even

without theBPD due to we both have 3 kids and thus more activity and noise

than nada can handle. I had counted on having at least some good times with

my brother and his family even if the time with nada was so so.

This morning we were not going to see brother and kids until the afternoon

(we stay with my mom), and I was wracking my brain trying to figure out

something to do in the morning with nada and my kids. I suggested going to

see a movie that cousins had already seen as going to the movies is one of

the few things my nada can do - declining health. I figured we would catch

up with the cousins later. Well, nada found it necessary to call my

sister-in-law and basically say we were going to the movies without them.

Apparently, sister-in-law feels like nada has a history of leaving her kids

out and latelty golden sister-in-law got really mad that we were " leaving

her kids out " . I tried calling sister-in-law and explaining why I suggested

going to the movies, and she talked to me but was clearly mad at the end of

the conversation.

Part of me is amazed that sister-in-law got so mad - obviously history there

that I was not aware of. And part of me is wondering why nada called her to

tell her in the first place - was it just to rub it in her face that we were

going without them? Anyway, obviously more weirdness in this situation than

just my nada. But part of me can't help wondering if this is one of those

situations where nadas seem to excell at dividing people and causing

division. I'm anxious right now because I like my sister-in-law and would

rather there not be conflict between us.

I'm realizing that nada also made this comment to me about not having

cousins sleep at her house while we are here and I said that's fine, but you

should say something to sister-in-law as her kids will likely ask. When I

asked sister-in-law about it yesterday nada had not said anything to her.

AAARGH!

MY