Re: Should I invite Nada to my wedding????

[Guest guest]

go with your gut...you've read on here before, that even when things were

going well with nada, she still managed to ruin everyones wedding ( mine

included!!) it was all about HER...she even yelled at the priest when he

tried to get her to go sit down so we could begin !! she screamed she'd sit

down when she was good and ready to sit down and not one second before

because she paid for this and she was going to get all her moneys worth !!

one of the VERY FEW times nada ever had a tantrum in public

Jackie

Hi Guys,

Well I get married in two weeks time, wow its flown by. But I am in a bit of

turmoil, I am unsure as to whether I should invite my Nada to my wedding

day??

I have been so upset as of late, because all my childhood memories seem to

be

flooding back to me like I dont know what, I feel so sad for what I went

through

as a child, and because nada is not capable of being a proper parent I wont

have

a father to walk me down the aisle and not much of my maternal family there,

because for my own sanity and to heal, I had to cut them off over a year ago

now.

Its makes me so sad that my family are dysfunctional, a part of me wants to

invite nada, but then there is a huge part of me telling myself that I

finally

need to let go of wanting the mother that she will never be, and that I have

my

own little family now, as in my beautiful son, and husband to be. But the

saddness really does overwhelm me, am I grieving for my lost childhood?? Am

I

realising how lovely I was as a child and that I never for one minute

deserved

the treatment that I got????

Along with the sadness comes the anger, I get so freakin angry, I think I

know

in my gut that she aint never going to change, but thoughts really welcome.

Many thanks

xx

[Guest guest]

Don't do it . Enjoy your wedding, it's your day. It's almost certain your

nada will find a way to ruin it. BPD's don't rest until we are miserable,

period. Your nada might even fake normal behaviors to get past you, letting your

guard down, and then WHAMO! Your big day will be tainted with BPDness,

histrionics, and drama worthy of an .

Weddings, funerals, births, and big changes don't go over well with nadas

especially after they have been *abandonded* by their own offspring. I hope you

know I realize that you haven't actually abandoned your nada but that's the way

BPD's perceive NC. So you see, your wedding will only serve as a staging ground

for your nada's revenge on you for abandoning her.

Can you wait until another day to try to cautiously resume contact? Perhaps a

day that doesn't involve you getting married... just a thought.

Congratulations on your new family and upcoming wedding. I realize the big day

will be tainted one way or another, by nada's attendance or lack thereof. It's

the lesser of two evils really. It's a bitter sweet thing and try not to let the

melancholy of a missing mother-figure (who doesn't exist anyway) overwhelm you.

Good luck and hugs from HF.

>

> Hi Guys,

>

> Well I get married in two weeks time, wow its flown by.  But I am in a bit of

> turmoil, I am unsure as to whether I should invite my Nada to my wedding day??

>

> I have been so upset as of late, because all my childhood memories seem to be

> flooding back to me like I dont know what, I feel so sad for what I went

through

> as a child, and because nada is not capable of being a proper parent I wont

have

> a father to walk me down the aisle and not much of my maternal family there,

> because for my own sanity and to heal, I had to cut them off over a year ago

> now.

>

> Its makes me so sad that my family are dysfunctional, a part of me wants to

> invite nada, but then there is a huge part of me telling myself that I finally

> need to let go of wanting the mother that she will never be, and that I have

my

> own little family now, as in my beautiful son, and husband to be.   But the

> saddness really does overwhelm me, am I grieving for my lost childhood?? Am I

> realising how lovely I was as a child and that I never for one minute deserved

> the treatment that I got????

>

> Along with the sadness comes the anger, I get so freakin angry, I think I know

> in my gut that she aint never going to change, but thoughts really welcome.

>

> Many thanks

>

> xx

>

>

>

>

>