Tonight I'm being a Wimp

[Guest guest]

I hate this winter weather. I think it's got a lot to do with my terrible

mood, just like I`m sure it doesn't help the rest of you.

I'm being a wimp tonight. I have to go in for my CT Scan tomorrow to see if

my cancer is coming back or if my aneurysms are growing, and it's like making me

sick to my stomach. I don't want to know if anything else is going on because I

feel like my fight has gone out the window. Don't want anymore doctoring, even

if things are going well with the pump. Just don't want to face it.

My children are so busy, and my hubby is on a different planet I think, that

I don't know who to go to with the fact that I'm being a coward., and let them

know that I don't want to go alone when I get the results back from all the

test.

I just don't feel like it's worth bothering anyone. They all have their own

lives. If my hubby does care, it's impossible for me to ever figure out. He

doesn't even understand what a hug can do.

Sorry I went on babbling so long. Just one of those days I guess, can't pull

my crap together. Hate all the responsibility my hubby puts on me and I feel

like I can't keep pushing. I doubt that he could take care of himself if

something was to happen to me. I have to tell him it's time to change clothes,

and put those in the wash.

I just need someone to do for me one time I guess.

No worry, hopefully I will go to bed soon and feel better in the morning and

be ready to head for the hospital for the test.

Thanks for letting me go on and on. So much better than keeping it all inside.

May all of you have a good night and a sunshiny morning, R.