Re: thankful.....Coleen here, I added my 2 cents :)

[Guest guest]

hi Joe,

I know how you feeling.  I am now 47 yo and when I do send out an email about

something and usually about my woes, I get all choked up when I get replies.  I

choke up and can't stop the tears from flowing.  Luckily I am the only one awake

at that hour.  My fiance tells me to stay strong but it is SO hard!  I cry in my

pillow when he is not in bed so he doesn't hear  me and get too worried.  I got

to let loose somehow, right?

Another thing.  Get this!  My fiance had to get his nose cleaned out on the 10th

and I am sure I wrote about that.  Well, I have him wheel me to HIS doctor's

office so I don't have to walk all the way down all the hallways. Later we went

to Walmart since we were up there anyway and I actually got to use a handicap

cart.  The thing is,  even though I didn't have to do any particular walking, my

hips, legs, still had a lot of pain! I thought I would have it a lot easier

being I didn't have to walk. 

I am on the pain patches as well as oral meds still as I can't get the pain

under control if I am to be upright at all.  I would have to be wheeled around

on a gurney lying in a fetal position to be in less pain.  Pretty pathetic. 

I am so tired of not being able to get around without hurting so bad.  I am sure

my doctor will up my pain patch again when I see her on March 8th.  I am just

hurting too much, too miserable. 

I know you have all heard this all before but it gets exhausting trying to get

stuff done and even eat right, or go  for car rides without suffering.  My legs

just give me fits in the car and bed.  Tylenol seems to help and I know it isn't

good for my body but sometimes I just don't care as long as the pain is

lessened.

I can't wait to get this under control.  I have been trying to get my  pain

under control for years, but it is getting worse faster than I am getting it

under  control.  Darn it! 

It is like I have a spot in my left side hip that almost feels like a painful

cramp.  The more I keep going the more that sore spot spreads and gets to where

I am afraid I will get stuck and not be able to move because the pain has got me

stuck, I wish I knew what that was.  

I know what I just wrote probably doesn't make much sense.  I can put my finger

on that spot when it isn't too sore and hasn't spread yet it seems.  That is

what I do to my fiance.  I say, right here!  I will do that when I see my doctor

too.

Also, when I go see my doctor at our Health Department (she is a Family Nurse

Practitioner) she only checks my blood pressure and my weight and talks to me

about how I am doing.  I do not sit up on one of those patient beds and she

doesn't listen to my heart and my lungs or look in my ears.  She would if I

asked her too.

Yes, I got carried away, I needed to talk.  Please send me any of your thoughts

on this email of mine.

Carry on now and thank you for listening

take care, Coleen

ps. stop the planet and let me off.  I can't live like this.  I am so glad I

have you all to talk to too, to help keep me going.  Seriously.