Re: husband left me when I had additional small intestional surgery

[Guest guest]

Hello ,

I am very sorry you are having such a tough time.

Pain and loss of ability to do things both can cause

considerable anger.

Your husband did do wrong and you have reason for anger

with him.

Divorce or separation is tough for both people in

numerous ways; financially, emotionally, and mentally.

I recommend trying to reconcile differences and working

together to make the best life possible together. I know

this sounds tough, but splitting up will likely be very tough.

I wish you the best in your troubled situation.

May God bless you

donpat

> wrote:

>I am a chronic pain patient from failed back surgery now for 7 years. I am 56

and on disability. I am angry some times, and my husband just walked out on me

when I was very sick from an additional small surgery.

>Does anyone else have problems with their anger when they are in high pain? I

might add that I keep myself looking pretty darn good all the time considering

how I really feel.

[Guest guest]

From my own experience, when it comes to infidelity, any excuse will do. In

other words, don't blame your husband's actions on your chronic condition. It

goes deeper than that and his actions are wrong.

Anger is a response most of us have to pain. Don't you think we have a right to

be angry about our situation? Being in a bad mood, depression and anger are all

normal responses but there are ways to get those emotions better under control.

I went to intensive therapy, psychiatric care, my therapist and group therapy

for depression and also for chronic pain. Without my understanding of what was

happening to me and why my emotional state was all over the place. I don't think

I would have made it through a divorce and completely change of my life,

including several surgeries that were needed.

I'm remarried now. He's not perfect nor am I but I'm at a point in my life where

I can be responsible for my actions and think before acting. That was a huge

accomplishment considering the kind of abuse I had been in throughout my life.

I'm still angry that I hurt and I feel cheated at times.

Without antidepressants and pain medications, I'd be still deep in the hole of

depression. Without months of therapy and taking an active part in finding out

who I am and who I want to be, maybe I wouldn't even be here alive and

struggling day to day.

Don't beat yourself up, that won't make you feel any better. Seek legal help

for your own protection.

Jennette

> wrote:

>I am angry some times, and my husband just walked out on me when i was very

sick from an additional small surgery.

>I was angry when i found out he had a 5 year affair with the internet just

before the surgery. I was very sick and just got really mad about it.

>Does anyone else have problems with their anger when they are in high pain? I

might add that I keep myself looking pretty darn good all the time considering

how I really feel.

[Guest guest]

Hi Hun I have a problem with anger when I'm in a lot of pain. my Husband ignores

me and just recently threatened to kick me out if I don't start working on this

house. I have busted my ass on this no matter the pain cause I have no where to

go no money etc.

So I'm trying to work things out with him I wish you all the love in the world

in what you decide to do and I'm here if you need to talk

Hugs Hun

Katy

> wrote:

>Does anyone else have problems with their anger when they are in high pain? I

might add that I keep myself looking pretty darn good all the time considering

how I really feel.

[Guest guest]

--- " elizabethway24 " wrote:

>

> > Does anyone else have problems with their anger when they are in high pain?

-

You have the right to be angry because you hurt and can't get help. But if you

feel like the anger is taking over your life and you can't control it, then it

could be a sign of depression. Not everyone who is depressed gets sad and

weepy. Many show depression through anger.

So if you don't like how you are feeling, ask your doctor for help. Counseling

or medication or a combination of the two will help. Don't hesitate to ask for

help if you need it. Depression is not a sign of weakness - it's a chemical

reaction in our brains to the stress pain puts us in, and you can't overcome a

chemical imbalance through sheer willpower, any more than you could overcome the

flu by just wishing it would go away.

Cheryl in AZ

Moderator

[Guest guest]

, It is understandable that you are angry sometimes. It is extremely

hard to deal with pain daily and not become stressed out.

Sometimes anger is a symptom of depression. Being a chronic pain

patient takes a lot of physical and emotional energy.

I hope you and your husband can work something out to make whatever decision you

both make about your marriage less stressful.

Hugs,

Tami

> wrote:

> Does anyone else have problems with their anger when they are in high pain? I

might add that I keep myself looking pretty darn good all the time considering

how I really feel.

[Guest guest]

wrote:

> Does anyone else have problems with their anger when they are in high pain? I

might add that I keep myself looking pretty darn good all the time considering

how I really feel.

Eiizabeth,

Anger is a normal response to high pain levels so you are normal. I never curse

except when I am in uncontrollable pain and I am so embarrassed when I have to

speak to someone I spouted such ugly words. Thank goodness they were

understanding and knew it was my pain and not mean relating how I feel.

I always hate it when you go in hurting about 9-10 level, 230/110 blood pressure

and a nurse with that " susie cream cheese " voice says,

Wow, you really must be hurting as if you were lying when they ask all the

twenty questions about describing the pain and you are wiggling as you can't get

comfortable and you just want something to make the pain go away and not have

conversations, and just want to say, " Give me some D--n medicine to make me feel

better.

As far as your husband, you do not need any toxic relationships and I am not

saying divorce, but take care of yourself and try to ignore anything else, it is

hard but you must take take care of yourself. I hope your husband sees how him

doing that effects you, but he might not be able to handle your being sick.

I am sending well wishes your way and yes I get very angry when I am in pain.

but have to calm myself down as it just causes more agitation and increases

pain.

Bennie

[Guest guest]

wrote:

> I was angry when i found out he had a 5 year affair with the internet just

before the surgery. I was very sick and just got really mad about it.

> I have trouble with my anger and i feel that if we had someone to clean the

house then i would be in less pain therefore less anger and could do more

activities.

> Now i am looking at a separation paper he has. I do not know what to ask for.

,

I notice you are blaming yourself for a lot of things that you husband is

responsible for. I would not fill out any separation forms when you are in that

frame of mind and would get someone you trust to assist you as you might not be

fair to yourself.

Please speak to someone you know and trust to assist you with this as I walked

out and left everything and that was stupid as my ex husband and his girlfriend

got to enjoy things I worked all my life to purchase. So try to get someone to

assist you.

Good Luck

Bennie

[Guest guest]

I am sorry you have been through so much and your husband walked out after an

affair! My husband also left me because of my health issues. I occasionally

become angry when in high pain. I usually get quiet. I am sorry we had to meet

under these circumstances, but it is nice to meet you!

Love,

Becky in NM

elizabethway24 wrote:

I am a chronic pain patient from failed back surgery now for 7 years.I am 56 and

on disabilty. I am angry some times, and my husband just walked out on me when

i was very sick from an additional small surgery.

I was angry when i found out he had a 5 year affair with the internet just

before the surgery. I was very sick and just got really mad about it.

i have trouble with my anger and i feel that if we had someone to clean the

house then i would be in less pain therefore less anger and could do more

activites.

Now i am looking at a separation paper he has. I do not know what to ask for.

Does anyone else have problems with their anger when they are in high pain? I

might add that I keep myself looking pretty darn good all the time considering

how I really feel.