Re: fed up with friends who don't understand my pain

[Guest guest]

,

One lesson that I learned a long time ago, actually 2 lessons, are;

#1 I do NOT tell ANYONE but my very close family members what I take for my

intractable pain.

#2 When people ask me; " So, how are you doing? " I only say; " fine " and do not go

one about what is hurting me today, or what kind of day I am having, or what

happened yesterday, etc. Why? Because I've realize that the term; " how are you

doing? " is just a type of hello, and people really, really do not want to listen

to me complain all of the time about my issues, so I keep the long answer to the

ones that are close to me, for the rest of the people, " I'm Fine " .

You have to understand that unless someone is going thru the same situation or

suffering from chronic pain, they do not understand why we have to take opioids,

to them it is just an excuse that we make to get high.

So to avoid the whole upsetting situation, I just don't talk about it. Or then

you have the friends that like to take narcotics, you know, the " closet

addicts " , that will ask you for a pill or two because they have the " worst back

pain ever! " BS! I avoid those too.

So Hun, keep your conversation about your situation to a selected few, your

Doctor and your support group, the rest are " On a need to know basis " , and " They

do NOT need to know! "

Take care,

--- wrote:

>

> I told a close friend of mine I am taking this med and he wants to crucify me

and has called everyone I know to rat me out. He thinks he is justified. I am

ready to scream!

>

> Its not enough I have to live with the pain but am I suppose to bow to peer

pressure to appease the feeble minds? Beware all because Congress thinks as my

friend does and is seeking to cease narcotic pain relief for chronic pain.

>

[Guest guest]

Tipper, you hit the nail on the head. I do not share what meds I'm taking either

with just anyone either. My in-laws found out because my mother-in-law came to

help me during a bad time and she tells her daughters everything.

At first people would ask and I would tell them. Then reactions like " That's

real strong stuff, watch it " taught me fast. " Yes, it is strong. My pain is

strong, That's why my dr has me on this " . Also, when people at church ask how I

am, I say " I'm here " .

I've lost some closeness in friendships, but this is truly a trial where I am

learning who is there. My husband suffered from severe neuropathic pain- still

does but it is greatly controlled compared to the hell he was in, so he

understands, plus he's my husband, and I can talk to him. He knows who I was

before this, you know?

He knows how it hurts my soul that I cannot do all I did. My mom understands, my

dad. I think my sister is BEGINNING to understand. Her husband is a pharmacist

and he sees so much abuse, I think that's why I just don't tell her a lot.

There's an underlying " Am I being judged " sensation. Not worth it. And no,

people do not want to help. They really do not.

[Guest guest]

,

Your so lucky to have family that understands you especially your husband. I

have no one and it is so hard for me to make friends after my best of friends

for 13 years did what she did that was judge me. I wont make that mistake again.

I'm so gun shy now I'm afraid to go out and met people. I go to cook outs with

Hubbies friends and I talk a little but I see there eyes and I feel like they

are judging me. I became over weight during my down time and I judge myself. I'm

uncomfortable with it and I think it shows.

I just got to clean this house and start walking no matter what. its just hard

to wake up each day. Today I/m having one of a few good mornings. So we shall

see today. But If I do find a friend out there my medical issues will be with

held. Thanks for listening

Hugs

Katy

> wrote:

>He knows how it hurts my soul that I cannot do all I did. My mom understands,

my dad. I think my sister is BEGINNING to understand. Her husband is a

pharmacist and he sees so much abuse, I think that's why I just don't tell her a

lot. There's an underlying " Am I being judged " sensation. Not worth it. And no,

people do not want to help. They really do not.

[Guest guest]

I lost a lot of friendships when I became so bad I was stuck in bed or in the

wheelchair.Now they think they know more about it than my doctor.When my hubby

would explain why I couldn't cook anymore they would always say that I was on

too many pills.

I was unable to walk due to authritis in my hips & legs along with hyper pain

syndrome , fibromyalgia chronic fatigue & diabetic neuropathy in my hands &

feet along with a few more & they thought I was just trying to get attention

because they never heard of such things so my doc was a crack just bent on

making me a druggie.I was a very hard working woman who took care of the entire

house my sons, & a very demanding job of being a pastry chef to a woman who

needed help taking a bath,going to the bathroom & getting in & out of a bed &

wheelchair taking TOO many pills.

I found out quickly who were true friends & who wasn't.

It is a hard thing to go through as a woman & mother.Sometimes when my hubby

can't help my sons do.I am supposed to take care of them not the other way

around.

I am fed up with " friends " who want to help by telling me I take too many pills

to just function.

Sorry about venting but I really understand about " helpful friends "

Blessed be,

Ms.Katurah