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Thank you Judith. Whatever the differences, if just that one person

can gain that hope and by whatever means...

>... but there is always the possibility that a light will come in

their

> head -- " a bell in your head will ring " (todd rundgren)-- and

they'll see

> that they can make some good things happen, and those good things

provide a

> little bit of counterbalance to the bad things.

Amen to that. In memory of my Mom (1920-1984) who lost her own brave

struggle with manic depression.

Regards,

Chris

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Judith Stillwater wrote:

> in the depression group I read, someone committed suicide. argue your hearts

> out, stand up for what you believe in, just please continue to exist,

> continue to be visible.

>

Was this ASD?

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Hi Amy--yes it was.

Judith

On Sat, 20 May 2000 00:27:13 -0600, 12-step-freeegroups wrote:

> Judith Stillwater wrote:

>

> > in the depression group I read, someone committed suicide. argue your

hearts

> > out, stand up for what you believe in, just please continue to exist,

> > continue to be visible.

> >

>

> Was this ASD?

>

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I didn't know her myself, but it's always really sad when someone commits

suicide. Did you know her well?

Judith Stillwater wrote:

> Hi Amy--yes it was.

>

> Judith

>

> On Sat, 20 May 2000 00:27:13 -0600, 12-step-freeegroups wrote:

>

> > Judith Stillwater wrote:

> >

> > > in the depression group I read, someone committed suicide. argue your

> hearts

> > > out, stand up for what you believe in, just please continue to exist,

> > > continue to be visible.

> > >

> >

> > Was this ASD?

> >

>

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On Sun, 21 May 2000 01:58:44 -0600, 12-step-freeegroups wrote:

> I didn't know her myself, but it's always really sad when someone commits

> suicide. Did you know her well?

No, I didn't. I guess I'm reacting more to the people who are left behind,

the ones who did know her well and were communicating with her up until the

end. One person in particular kind of lost it (her initials are MB, you

probably know who I'm talking about, she posts a lot--I think she's really a

sweet person). And of course, having dealt with depression myself, the topic

of suicide brings up some strong feelings in me.

It does tie in with my feelings about AA. Looking back, I see that my

experience with 12 step treatment was a catalyst which worsened my

depression. Until treatment, I would say I was a bit melodramatic in the way

I felt and expressed my emotions. Irritating to myself and those around me,

perhaps, but not dangerous.

However, in treatment, I became obsessed with the idea of suicide. and I

wasn't prepared for the way the staff calmly blew off my suicidal ideation.

It still hurts to this day that anyone could be so mean to someone in pain.

Judith

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> Looking back, I see that my

> experience with 12 step treatment was a catalyst which worsened my

> depression. Until treatment, I would say I was a bit melodramatic in the

way

> I felt and expressed my emotions. Irritating to myself and those around

me,

> perhaps, but not dangerous.

>

> However, in treatment, I became obsessed with the idea of suicide. and I

> wasn't prepared for the way the staff calmly blew off my suicidal

ideation.

> It still hurts to this day that anyone could be so mean to someone in

pain.

So I necessarily have EXTREMELY negative feelings toward ANYONE who says I

should be GRATEFUL for anything that happened in AA.

Judith, angry

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Judith Stillwater wrote:

> On Sun, 21 May 2000 01:58:44 -0600, 12-step-freeegroups wrote:

>

> > I didn't know her myself, but it's always really sad when someone commits

> > suicide. Did you know her well?

>

> No, I didn't. I guess I'm reacting more to the people who are left behind,

> the ones who did know her well and were communicating with her up until the

> end. One person in particular kind of lost it (her initials are MB, you

> probably know who I'm talking about, she posts a lot--I think she's really a

> sweet person).

She's a dear -- I agree.

> And of course, having dealt with depression myself, the topic

> of suicide brings up some strong feelings in me.

>

> It does tie in with my feelings about AA. Looking back, I see that my

> experience with 12 step treatment was a catalyst which worsened my

> depression. Until treatment, I would say I was a bit melodramatic in the way

> I felt and expressed my emotions. Irritating to myself and those around me,

> perhaps, but not dangerous.

>

> However, in treatment, I became obsessed with the idea of suicide. and I

> wasn't prepared for the way the staff calmly blew off my suicidal ideation.

> It still hurts to this day that anyone could be so mean to someone in pain.

How could they responsibly blow off your suicidal ideation? Where were you?

How did you survive to get out? Not that I'm shocked, given my experience. I

am, however, appalled.

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