Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Janeene, the ideas Cheryl shared with you are terrific! I am a kindergarten teacher (32 years) so I really feel I understand this age group. Besides Cheryl's ideas, here are a couple more. 1. Most children like to build stuff--so blocks, legos, etc. can keep them occupied for a long time. You can have her build something right next to your couch/bed. If you have a lapboard, you could even build something with legos with her. 2. Play alphabet games--sing the ABC song, look around the room and talk about what sound the items begin. Make up silly rhymes--ex. a bear in a chair. Learn as many nursery rhymes as you can. Count with her. All these things will help her when she begins kindergarten and are really fun to do and best of all, cost nothing. 3. Talk with her. If she watches a TV/movie because you need a break, it's not the end of the world! We all need to stop feeling guilty for doing what we have to do to get through the day. Turn the TV watching into something positive. Tell her mommy was dozing and really wanted to watch the show. Can you tell me all the things that happened? You are stretching her memory which will also pay off down the road when she is asked to remember details in books. If you want anymore ideas, you can email me off line--heldings@... and I will be glad to help! I have to go get ready for my day with my 24 5 year olds. My assistant has called in sick so I will definitely be in the survival mode for the next 6 hours! I am hurting so bad right now that I am going to have to play a huge mind game with my pain. Becky in Illinois -text portions of this message have been removed] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 With just the one, and her being 4, perhaps some sort of " scrapbooking " craft? All it would take is some construction paper, kids scissors, and a glue stick. Also, if she's in preschool, or if there's a school supply store, talk to the teachers/clerks about what they recommend. There are fantastic crafts that my kids' preschool teachers come up with. Unfortunately my kids have the attention span of gnats when it comes to anything that's not physical activity, so I have limited ideas for this from personal experience. I'm eager for advice on how you all get the kids calm enough to play these kinds of games, though. If mine don't burn off all their energy, they don't sleep at night, and that's even worse for me. So I wind up happy that they'll play at chik-fil-a or mcdonald's or burger king or the park and I can sit and watch a bit more, rather than play. That's a " good " day for us. > Does anyone else have other ideas for free, fun things to do with a child this age that can > be managed from bed or the couch? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Hi there, I was judt reading about your daughter. My daughter just had a baby a told me she wanted a girl so she could hae the same great relationship that we do. One of the things she remembers the most and loved were the stories I told her about my growing up and things that happened to me. She hasn't forgotten any. Most of them had a 'moral' -like when I was 10 and went to Woolworths with my friend and took a little dolly's dress cause my friend said it was ok. My Mom drove me back and I gave it back to the store clerk and said I was sorry and she said " what an honest little girl'. I was so proud i have never taken anything again in my life. Those are great lessons to learn and great memories. Good luck. Cathie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Cheryl, You made me CRY! Not out of sadness but out of LOVE and THANKFULNESS! Ya know, it's funny but no one in my " real world " life has ever made such suggestions. They just say " she's used to it by now, or she is resilient, don't worry, tomorrow is another day " type of things. The worst of my back issues came while I was pregnant with her and so, her life has always been lived with the inclusion of this crappy back thing. Sam is very accustomed to hearing " oh honey, mommy can't do that because it will hurt my back " . It's funny because she only sees the scar as being the affliction and while washing my back for me the other day, she said " hey, your back is almost healed! " I chuckled and said, " yes it is, on the outside but the inside is still working on it " . I got a little " hmmm " from her and that was that. It took her a long time to even look at that gigantic scar but at least it looks less threatening to her now. I will put all of what you have suggested into action the next time I am in such a state. I do read to her a lot and she is very creative. Much of what you suggested we do on a daily basis but for some reason, that day I just could not pull myself up and out of it to think of putting any of it into action. I LOVE the fishing idea, I am going to make a pole with some sort of a net or " hook " on it today for when the time comes again! Heck, I love them all even if I do some of them already, to be reminded that those things matter is priceless! And the fashion show, WOW, can't say that one crossed my mind ever. Other than when she did it on her own on a good day. We do look out the window while I am in bed, usually in the early morning when she is up and I just don't feel like getting out of bed yet. I have a " defrosting " time I go through before I can stand most days. And she loves that. We look at the sky and look/listen (weather permitting for an open window on the listen part) for sounds and try to decipher what they are. She is a " get up and go " little girl so as soon as her feet hit the floor she is on the go! Very artistic and articulate my daughter is! A step above most kids her age she is. So, I will put that to use. I will insist within myself to pull the energy that I do have on those days, instead of using it up on myself and my self pity, and use it for her! You are so right and I have to believe that I am not a failure when it comes to my kids (or my husband for that matter). Hey, while I stated that, my husband and I, are doing much better too. The dog is still here but after a while I think he saw that he is the one who needs to step up more. She also threw up MORE of those bags just this last Friday and I think it freaked him out! Perfect, no, but a step in the right direction and that means the world to me! I am also seeing a counselor now, about that and many other things so, I feel good about it. To say thank you for your compassion and uplifting words just doesn't seem to measure up to how I feel about your care but, Thank you Cheryl! Sincerely, Janeene >Cheryl in AZ wrote: >I feel for you. You are NOT a failure. But maybe we could brainstorm some ideas of things you could do to interact with your daughter that wouldn't involve you moving. As long as she has your attention, she will be happy - she doesn't need you to crawl around on the floor or run in the yard to " play. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 , I find myself laughing at your story about the attention span of gnats! What a terrific analogy! I have been there with my now 15 year old and I used to go bananas trying to get her to settle long enough to finish playing the game she begged me to play with her! She is still pretty much the same only its more on finishing up her chores and things like that. Her friends call her " hype " sometimes. But she suffers too. I could only make it to little over half of her swim meets and that bothered her. Also, to get in the car to take her somewhere at times can be challenging. It's not so much once I am in the car, it is the getting in and getting out thing as well as having to take Sam with us everywhere. I have no help with her, most of the time, and she is my little sidekick everywhere I go. Once my husband gets home from work, well, then it seems a little easier but by then " the day is gone " for Chelsey. Sam, my 4 year old, has her own art drawer full of all you suggested and more! While she watched those videos I was graced with a handful of pictures, cards, kitty collars and more. My refrigerator is full this week so we have moved on the the sides of the stove and portable dishwasher! It's not that she can't find things to do, it's the fact that I was and still try to be a hands involved mom and I feel like I am slighting my girls, both my 15 year old and my 4 year old because I just can't seem to do the things they wish I could do. My 20 year old, well, obviously she is self sufficient and all she really needs from me is an ear and sometimes some wanted advice (until I give it to her and it's not what she wanted to hear -giggle giggle). She also helps as much as she can but she has a full time job and a full time social life - ahhh the envy! Now as far as suggestions on helping to extend your children's attention span, THAT I am not so sure I can help you with :-) so I will leave that one up to the " professionals " ! Good Luck and Thank You for your suggestions, I am taking them all to heart and appreciate the out reach! Gentle Hugs (this Michigan weather is killing me)! Janeene --- wrote: >With just the one, and her being 4, perhaps some sort of " scrapbooking " craft? All it would take is some construction paper, kids scissors, and a glue stick. Unfortunately my kids have the attention span of gnats I'm eager for advice on how you all get the kids calm enough to play these kinds of games, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 There are so many things that you can do with children, when you're not up to running around. When my kids were small, we deliberately didn't have a television set. It made for lots of time better spent. Even when my migraines were at their worst, I could still muddle through with crayons, stories, etc. The kids favourite, when they were restless, was a game of " I Spy With My Little Eye. " When the kids were too little to spell, we spied with colours. It's a great way for them to get to know their colours and by grade one - their letters. I knew we were on the right track when my four year old son said, " I spy with my little eye, something that is magenta! " lol -- Lyndi Janeene wrote: >Ya know, it's funny but no one in my " real world " life has ever made such suggestions. They just say " she's used to it by now, or she is resilient, don't worry, tomorrow is another day " type of things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 The uncle cheryl cracked me up. My niece used to call my husband Aunt Stan. Hope you all are getting better today. " Sweet Goat Mama " Carolyn Eddy www.goattracksmagazine.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Janeene, my 3 1/2 year old (boy) is the one I have the hardest time with. For him, it's been one thing after another non-stop for the past several years (crohn's was in remission while I was pregnant, thankfully). When I was hospitalized last year I had to forcibly wean him due to meds. He handled it well enough after I explained that mommy's milk had turned to poison. My daughter (6) is like your 4 year old -- very articulate and self-sufficient. She actually " watches " her brother for me sometimes. But he has his own issues and it's simply not fair to her. I feel as if I'm gypping her of carefree childhood time she should have. Do your older daughters help with the younger one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 , Chelsey, my 15 year old, helps only as much as is acceptable to her. She really resented the fact that her place in " line " was being taken over after 11 years. It breaks my heart as well as angers me when I see the way she treats most days. It's not abusive in the manner of physical, it's emotional. Chelsey is forever nagging on her about one thing or another and then when she does decide to play with her it always gets to the point where Sam ends up crying. She taunts her into it and when I step in, I get the " God mom, I was only trying to have fun with her! " Yes and no. She gets this little " imp " inside her and want to see just how far she can take it and, very often, we find out. To have her watch her for a period of time so that I can do some errunds without Sam, well, that is more stressful than actually having Sam with me. I don't ask much anymore and I know that was/is Chelseys goal but I don't have the energy to try to change it. Chelsey is one heck of a stubborn child and has her own issues as well. With all that being said though, there are those days that she suprises me and they are like peanut butter and jelly. They just work but they are far and few between. Carlynn, my 20 year old, helps A LOT! When she can, she will do what ever is needed without resentment and absolutely adores her little sister. The love is defiitely reciprocated. Sam always runs up to her and gives her the biggest bear hug, virtually choking Carlynn! She loves having sleepovers at " Sissy's " and even has parted with some of her favorite toys to keep in her room at Carlynns house. But, she works full time as an EMT and just recently put out her back trying to get a man out of his house and has been unable to do much for the past month. It is starting to get better but I will not put the extra burden on her or her body. I don't want her to be in the same position I am later in life so I am babying her. I wish you all the luck with your little man. Your daughter is a blessing and you are very lucky to have her willing to help with him. Have you ever asked her how she feels about helping you with him while you are not well? Maybe it isn't a burden to her and knowing that it makes a difference to you is the best part. My neighbors daughter is, and always has been, the " Mother Hen " type and absolutely thrives on helping her mom with her brother and even comes over, when she can to help with Sam for a few hours. She is 10 now but was 6 when she started that! You should have seen this child interact with an infant, it was absolutely astonishing! I would have trusted her to watch her by herself if it wouldn't have been for her age. If you want to talk on a more personal level about it, feel free to e-mail me directly. Hugs, Janeene wrote: My daughter (6) is like your 4 year old -- very articulate and self-sufficient. She actually " watches " her brother for me sometimes. But he has his own issues and it's simply not fair to her. I feel as if I'm gypping her of carefree childhood time she should have. Do your older daughters help with the younger one? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Cathie, Thanks so much for sharing your story! It is wonderful that you and your daughter have such a close bond! To have that is the ultimate in motherhood isn't it!? I will continue to share my stories with my girls and pray for the same outcome! Funny how the way the world is can make us forget that the simple things in life are the most important things. This get up and GO GO GO world is tiring to the mind body and soul! Getting back to the basics is my goal :-) Hugs, Janeene >Cathie wrote: >I was just reading about your daughter. My daughter just had a baby a told me she wanted a girl so she could hae the same great relationship that we do. >One of the things she remembers the most and loved were the stories I told her about my growing up and things that happened to me. She hasn'tforgotten any. Most of them had a 'moral' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Lyndi, You made me laugh at the " magenta " thing! Yep, that's my too, always using those big words that you have no idea how they know them! We do play " I spy with my little eye " , mostly in the car but, I have to say: " I spy with my BIG eye " to make it anatomically correct for her! LOL! Ya know, the more I read the suggestions that our wonderful family have sent, the more I realize that I do interact with my little one. We do just about everything that has been suggested however, I fail to see that it matters. She is, as I mentioned, such a busy body that I get the idea in my head that I have to move with her in order to make it better for her. I am down more than I am up and that bothers me when I know she also needs physical activity to be " rounded " . I have to count the times that I am able to do those and settle on that. I wish there were more children in our area. We live out in the boonies and have neighbors with children, but they are gone more than they are home so play time with them is limited. Day care and pre-school are out of the question because of finances. I will settle with the fact that she is given lots of love and is a very accepting child, I am blessed for sure! Sincerely, Janeene >Lyndi wrote: >Even when my migraines were at their worst, I could still muddle through with crayons, stories, etc. The kids favourite, when they were restless, was a game of " I Spy With My Little Eye. " >I knew we were on the right track when my four year old son said, " I spy with my little eye, something that is magenta! " lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Lyndi wrote: > I knew we were on the right track when my four year old son said, " I > spy with my little eye, something that is magenta! " lol > -- > Lyndi , As a teacher and diagnostician, those type of games are the best to develop critical thinking skills. Also, guessing letters and numbers and putting them together helps them learn to read. I did these games naturally and then later in my graduate work learned people pay money to teach kids these techniques. I spy, What do you think, What do you know, Show me, Guess about it are all good phrases to use with kids. To learn observation skills, I challenged the students to write down everything they see on their bus rides to school. We were learning the life cycle and I was telling them that hawks stay on the telephone lines and look for mice to eat. The next day the kids came in with all kinds of observations to include hawks, birds, deer, a grey heron, and other things besides the normal stop signs. It is so rewarding watching kids faces light up when they realize all the things they know. So, I spy, is the greatest game for kids and can be changed to all kinds of subjects. Bennie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 <Have you ever asked her how she feels about helping you with him while you are not well? Maybe it isn't a burden to her and knowing that it makes a difference to you is the best part.> Janeene, Yes, I have asked her how she feels about it. She doesn't mind most of the time, and she likes the $ every now and then. I give her a dollar or so when she's particularly helful, and I'll " hire " her to do it sometimes. Then there are the days that they just can't stop fighting and it's not worth it. She needs her " me time " , too. When was born, I was feeling great. I was healthier than I had been in years, maybe ever. I had been able to get off of all of my meds completely before my pregnancy. I was in remission from crohn's the whole time I nursed her (I nursed during my second pregnancy and tandem nursed after my son's birth). I had just 2 1/2 years later, and was fine until about 9 months or so after he was born, so maybe I've just used up my " healthy " time to make sure that I could birth healthy children, I don't know. The infusion was interesting today -- I had to have several doses of antihistamine to counteract reactions. The gastroenterologist said to give it about 4 days to see if it's effective, and definitely to try a couple of more rounds. *keeping fingers crossed* I'm working on positive thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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