Guest guest Posted January 1, 2003 Report Share Posted January 1, 2003 Hi all, Some of you know me most don't I don't write a lot but I'm hoping someone can help me with a my problem... I am having a hard time chosing a doctor any suggestions? Thanks Mechelle " The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in our culture, we apply for a curse and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture. " -- Doug . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 4, 2003 Report Share Posted January 4, 2003 I would love to consider a reversal. I am afraid that for my age, it is just too late and may not be worth the cost. I love kids and already have 3, ages 17, 14 and 11. The 2 older ones are girls and the younger is a boy. I'd like another boy and have talked to Dr. Levin. I had the tubes tied after quite a long time of using the spermicides contraceptives. When I had my son, he was placenta premia and I was informed during the pregnancy that there could be difficulties and the baby could be stillborn or strangled at birth. Also, I could bleed too much. He was ok and sowas I, but at age 3, he was tested at 1.5 years behind the other kids his age. He caught up at age 7 and that is great. In everything I read about placenta premia births, I'm now scared that I will have a slightly handicapped child due to my age and the past history of his birth for after having 1placenta premia, the others are expected to also be placenta premia. Dr. Levin is the only doctor that seemed willing to consider seeing me. My current regular doctor for papsmears says that I have been possibly starting my change as in menopause. Also, the only reason that I stay in my current marriage is for the kids and when they leave, there will be nothing to keep me thereunless things change for us. It is very important especially to my son that I stay. I have always been a solace for my children, for my husband is very controlling. I come from a Catholic family of 7 children. All of us have had difficult birthing experiences, including our mom. Me and one other sister are the only two to have 3 children. I have another sister who has 2 surviving kids, she had 2 miscarries. I have another sister that had 6 miscarries and 1 surviving birth. She had to have the sperm frozen to achieve this birth for her husband has a low sperm count. I have another sister who also had 1 and she is now divorced and her X just died this last summer. I am seriously considering completing my teacher's certification now. I love kids and have considered this career before, but the time was less appropriate. I also feel very bad and guilty that I had my tubes tied. I guess I followed the role of my husband's two sisters who also had this done. It has beena very emmotionally unhappy and painful experience for me. From what I could determine on the before and after pictures that I never saw until it was all done, there may already have been a knot in one tube. I guess I have told you a lot and I really would appreciate a response. Thanks, Jeanette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Please make sure you're bringing a baby in this world for the right reasons. I understand so much the need and want to have another baby. Finish your teaching certificate. Only you know what's in your heart. Prayers and thinking of you, Pam > I would love to consider a reversal. I am afraid that for my age, it is just > too late and may not be worth the cost. I love kids and already have 3, ages > 17, 14 and 11. The 2 older ones are girls and the younger is a boy. I'd like > another boy and have talked to Dr. Levin. I had the tubes tied after quite a > long time of using the spermicides contraceptives. When I had my son, he was > placenta premia and I was informed during the pregnancy that there could be > difficulties and the baby could be stillborn or strangled at birth. Also, I > could bleed too much. He was ok and sowas I, but at age 3, he was tested at > 1.5 years behind the other kids his age. He caught up at age 7 and that is > great. In everything I read about placenta premia births, I'm now scared > that I will have a slightly handicapped child due to my age and the past > history of his birth for after having 1placenta premia, the others are > expected to also be placenta premia. Dr. Levin is the only doctor that > seemed willing to consider seeing me. My current regular doctor for > papsmears says that I have been possibly starting my change as in menopause. > > > Also, the only reason that I stay in my current marriage is for the kids and > when they leave, there will be nothing to keep me thereunless things change > for us. It is very important especially to my son that I stay. I have > always been a solace for my children, for my husband is very controlling. > > I come from a Catholic family of 7 children. All of us have had difficult > birthing experiences, including our mom. Me and one other sister are the > only two to have 3 children. I have another sister who has 2 surviving kids, > she had 2 miscarries. I have another sister that had 6 miscarries and 1 > surviving birth. She had to have the sperm frozen to achieve this birth for > her husband has a low sperm count. I have another sister who also had 1 and > she is now divorced and her X just died this last summer. > > I am seriously considering completing my teacher's certification now. I love > kids and have considered this career before, but the time was less > appropriate. > > I also feel very bad and guilty that I had my tubes tied. I guess I followed > the role of my husband's two sisters who also had this done. It has beena > very emmotionally unhappy and painful experience for me. > > From what I could determine on the before and after pictures that I never saw > until it was all done, there may already have been a knot in one tube. > > I guess I have told you a lot and I really would appreciate a response. > > Thanks, > > Jeanette > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 6, 2003 Report Share Posted January 6, 2003 Thanks Pam. In some ways I know it is a selfish reason, but right now I'm just feeling the aloneness of not having anyone small around to give me a hug anymore. I need some fullfillment somewhere and I think the teaching may be enough to settle for. The other would be too much risk mainly for health reasons for both the baby and me. That is what stopped me at the age of 34 and now I regret that I wasn't willing to take another chance then. I just wish that the difficulty of that last pregnancy did not cause so much easy tearfullness when I was informed that it may be safer to stop for health reasons. I've always wondered if I was given some incorrect info and that things would have turned out ok for another child. My children are so important to me. I don't think that I have spoiled them too much, but I do more for them than I have ever done for myself. What went wrong for us as husband and wife was mainly that he sent me to counselors and would not agree that we as a married couple are a team and if we want things to work out, the counseling is needed for both. His excuse was always there is nothing wrong with him. I have always blamed some of the delay that my son has as though it is my fault. Yet, neither I nor the doctor could not change the fact that my son was placenta premia and that any more children born by me would also have some difficulty. I have always believed that if you are informed that you are likely to give birth to an un-healthy or limited child, it is not fair to yourself, the child, nor the family that you already have to add another challenge. I am blessed to have 3 healthy children. My mom had 7 children and I know that at least 2 of her births were difficult. Yet she did not give up or take heed to the warning. That was birth # 2 and 5 for her. Both me and my sister Berni stopped after our third child due to the difficulties of the birth and further expected health reasons for any more. We watched 2 other sisters go through multiple miscarriages and we wern't ready to handle that also. We decide to try to be happy with our 3. Thanks, I just need someone to help me continue to convince myself that stopping was right and best for all. Jeanette In fact I will do thingmore for them anything for them difficulty and that it and I'm pretty sure that it may not be hefor the best reasons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 7, 2003 Report Share Posted January 7, 2003 We always do more for our children than we do for ourselves. It's the nature of being a mom. I respect your decision and I hope you find all the fullfillment you require by teaching. Those little hugs will get you through the day. You can e-mail me personally if you wish to talk: Redheadedelf37@.... Anyone here can tell you I LOVE to talk. And as nuts as I sound sometimes, I do have some semblence of sense, I promise. Hugs to you and smile it's good for you.. Pam > Thanks Pam. > > In some ways I know it is a selfish reason, but right now I'm just feeling > the aloneness of not having anyone small around to give me a hug anymore. > > I need some fullfillment somewhere and I think the teaching may be enough to > settle for. > > The other would be too much risk mainly for health reasons for both the baby > and me. That is what stopped me at the age of 34 and now I regret that I > wasn't willing to take another chance then. I just wish that the difficulty > of that last pregnancy did not cause so much easy tearfullness when I was > informed that it may be safer to stop for health reasons. I've always > wondered if I was given some incorrect info and that things would have turned > out ok for another child. My children are so important to me. I don't think > that I have spoiled them too much, but I do more for them than I have ever > done for myself. > > What went wrong for us as husband and wife was mainly that he sent me to > counselors and would not agree that we as a married couple are a team and if > we want things to work out, the counseling is needed for both. His excuse > was always there is nothing wrong with him. > > I have always blamed some of the delay that my son has as though it is my > fault. Yet, neither I nor the doctor could not change the fact that my son > was placenta premia and that any more children born by me would also have > some difficulty. I have always believed that if you are informed that you > are likely to give birth to an un-healthy or limited child, it is not fair to > yourself, the child, nor the family that you already have to add another > challenge. I am blessed to have 3 healthy children. > > My mom had 7 children and I know that at least 2 of her births were > difficult. Yet she did not give up or take heed to the warning. That was > birth # 2 and 5 for her. Both me and my sister Berni stopped after our third > child due to the difficulties of the birth and further expected health > reasons for any more. We watched 2 other sisters go through multiple > miscarriages and we wern't ready to handle that also. We decide to try to be > happy with our 3. > > Thanks, I just need someone to help me continue to convince myself that > stopping was right and best for all. > > Jeanette > > > In fact I will do thingmore for them anything for them difficulty and that it > and I'm pretty sure that it may not be hefor the best reasons > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2003 Report Share Posted January 9, 2003 LOL! That is funny! Re: Doctors ---But is it going to far when your nine yr old ds helps with laundry and says " Dude, you really need some underwear look at the holes? " In TubalLigationReversal , " Pam <Redheadedelf37@a...> " <Redheadedelf37@a...> wrote: > We always do more for our children than we do for ourselves. It's the > nature of being a mom. > I respect your decision and I hope you find all the fullfillment you > require by teaching. Those little hugs will get you through the > day. > You can e-mail me personally if you wish to talk: > Redheadedelf37@a... Anyone here can tell you I LOVE to talk. > And as nuts as I sound sometimes, I do have some semblence of sense, > I promise. > Hugs to you and smile it's good for you.. > Pam > > > Thanks Pam. > > > > In some ways I know it is a selfish reason, but right now I'm just > feeling > > the aloneness of not having anyone small around to give me a hug > anymore. > > > > I need some fullfillment somewhere and I think the teaching may be > enough to > > settle for. > > > > The other would be too much risk mainly for health reasons for both > the baby > > and me. That is what stopped me at the age of 34 and now I regret > that I > > wasn't willing to take another chance then. I just wish that the > difficulty > > of that last pregnancy did not cause so much easy tearfullness when > I was > > informed that it may be safer to stop for health reasons. I've > always > > wondered if I was given some incorrect info and that things would > have turned > > out ok for another child. My children are so important to me. I > don't think > > that I have spoiled them too much, but I do more for them than I > have ever > > done for myself. > > > > What went wrong for us as husband and wife was mainly that he sent > me to > > counselors and would not agree that we as a married couple are a > team and if > > we want things to work out, the counseling is needed for both. His > excuse > > was always there is nothing wrong with him. > > > > I have always blamed some of the delay that my son has as though it > is my > > fault. Yet, neither I nor the doctor could not change the fact > that my son > > was placenta premia and that any more children born by me would > also have > > some difficulty. I have always believed that if you are informed > that you > > are likely to give birth to an un-healthy or limited child, it is > not fair to > > yourself, the child, nor the family that you already have to add > another > > challenge. I am blessed to have 3 healthy children. > > > > My mom had 7 children and I know that at least 2 of her births were > > difficult. Yet she did not give up or take heed to the warning. > That was > > birth # 2 and 5 for her. Both me and my sister Berni stopped after > our third > > child due to the difficulties of the birth and further expected > health > > reasons for any more. We watched 2 other sisters go through > multiple > > miscarriages and we wern't ready to handle that also. We decide to > try to be > > happy with our 3. > > > > Thanks, I just need someone to help me continue to convince myself > that > > stopping was right and best for all. > > > > Jeanette > > > > > > In fact I will do thingmore for them anything for them difficulty > and that it > > and I'm pretty sure that it may not be hefor the best reasons > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2003 Report Share Posted January 9, 2003 ---But is it going to far when your nine yr old ds helps with laundry and says " Dude, you really need some underwear look at the holes? " In TubalLigationReversal , " Pam <Redheadedelf37@a...> " <Redheadedelf37@a...> wrote: > We always do more for our children than we do for ourselves. It's the > nature of being a mom. > I respect your decision and I hope you find all the fullfillment you > require by teaching. Those little hugs will get you through the > day. > You can e-mail me personally if you wish to talk: > Redheadedelf37@a... Anyone here can tell you I LOVE to talk. > And as nuts as I sound sometimes, I do have some semblence of sense, > I promise. > Hugs to you and smile it's good for you.. > Pam > > > Thanks Pam. > > > > In some ways I know it is a selfish reason, but right now I'm just > feeling > > the aloneness of not having anyone small around to give me a hug > anymore. > > > > I need some fullfillment somewhere and I think the teaching may be > enough to > > settle for. > > > > The other would be too much risk mainly for health reasons for both > the baby > > and me. That is what stopped me at the age of 34 and now I regret > that I > > wasn't willing to take another chance then. I just wish that the > difficulty > > of that last pregnancy did not cause so much easy tearfullness when > I was > > informed that it may be safer to stop for health reasons. I've > always > > wondered if I was given some incorrect info and that things would > have turned > > out ok for another child. My children are so important to me. I > don't think > > that I have spoiled them too much, but I do more for them than I > have ever > > done for myself. > > > > What went wrong for us as husband and wife was mainly that he sent > me to > > counselors and would not agree that we as a married couple are a > team and if > > we want things to work out, the counseling is needed for both. His > excuse > > was always there is nothing wrong with him. > > > > I have always blamed some of the delay that my son has as though it > is my > > fault. Yet, neither I nor the doctor could not change the fact > that my son > > was placenta premia and that any more children born by me would > also have > > some difficulty. I have always believed that if you are informed > that you > > are likely to give birth to an un-healthy or limited child, it is > not fair to > > yourself, the child, nor the family that you already have to add > another > > challenge. I am blessed to have 3 healthy children. > > > > My mom had 7 children and I know that at least 2 of her births were > > difficult. Yet she did not give up or take heed to the warning. > That was > > birth # 2 and 5 for her. Both me and my sister Berni stopped after > our third > > child due to the difficulties of the birth and further expected > health > > reasons for any more. We watched 2 other sisters go through > multiple > > miscarriages and we wern't ready to handle that also. We decide to > try to be > > happy with our 3. > > > > Thanks, I just need someone to help me continue to convince myself > that > > stopping was right and best for all. > > > > Jeanette > > > > > > In fact I will do thingmore for them anything for them difficulty > and that it > > and I'm pretty sure that it may not be hefor the best reasons > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 10, 2010 Report Share Posted April 10, 2010 Tami, I have been both lucky and unlucky where doctors are concerned. Happily ever since I was properly diagnosed I have been lucky to have seen some very good doctors. The doctor who I m seeing now is excellent. Trained at Columbia University, he practiced in New York for a number of years and has seen everything. He is very conservative but he is not afraid to prescribe whatever is required to relieve my pain. He also tells you the truth, good or bad you always know where you stand. SO recently I have been lucky. When I was young I saw some amazingly self centered and opinionated " Docs " . I was told when I about 19 that young people are not supposed to have pain! I was told that it was all in my head and I should learn to live with it like everyone else does. That I should be ashamed of myself for being such a wimp and wasting the time of the nurses and doctors who have real sick people to take care of. I believed it too. I almost blew my brains out once because I hurt so bad and felt so guilty for having that pain. It almost drove me crazy. Then the doctors refused to see me anymore and called me a drug seeker and sent me to a methadone program. That was were I met this wonderful doctor who literally saved my life. When I walked in the room for an interview she asked me when I had gotten my last set of x-rays. I said X-rays? What for? She said well I can't tell for sure but you have some spinal problems and you need to have a number of tests, x-rays, and an MRI. She refused to allow on to her program and sent a letter to my Doctor and he ordered the tests that would FINALLY diagnose the Spina Bifida that I had been suffering from since birth! I have shortened this story a lot and it is still a long story so I will stop here, but you can see I have had some very good and some very bad doctors. There are so many people who have been through very similar events as I have. It's madness but it is how things are in our country. I have to wonder about all of the people who never found meaningful help and ended up taking their own life. in Bama >Tami B in Pa wrote: > > > , I am sorry to hear about your experience. at is what > is important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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