Need to vent!!

[Guest guest]

I've lived with chronic pain for a long time. I dealt with my Ex and his

disrespect/disbelief. Now I deal with family/friends.

I am not the kind of person that tells everyone my medical problems, except very

briefly answering a direct question. It is a privacy issue for me, and also

because I worry that people will tire of hearing about problems that may never

go away, nor even get much better. Make sense?

Until I had two knee surgeries in the past seven months, my problems were

invisible. My knee is still not right, and short of replacement, may not ever be

right.

My Cartilage just keeps tearing, and tearing. I appreciate people's concern, but

sometimes, it doesn't come across as genuine concern, but disbelief, or

judgment.

Like it must be MY fault my knee won't heal. I am 40 pounds heavier than I was 5

years ago. I KNOW this doesn't help, but REALLY, my joints being bad helped

cause the weight gain.(I was at a healthy weight when my joint pain started.)

Yes, food helped, too. As did meds, and my OTHER medical problems.

My motivation to have knee surgery was to lessen my pain, and to make walking

do-able. I feel like I am stuck. I cannot lose weight without walking. I do

strength training, and I know I need to swim. I get it.

I do NOT need other people to shove advice down my throat, nor question WHY my

knee won't heal. I started trying to get help 10 years ago. I was fit and active

and working 40+ hours on my feet for a long time.

The pain hit hard and fast. Overnight, actually. I am RF neg, BTW. It had

NOTHING to do with my weight/diet/exercise. It was because of genetics,

supposedly. Did it get worse because of those things, sure. Unless you've been

there, how can you judge?

I won't even get started about my Neuro issues, because THAT would fill pages,

lol.

Sorry to rant, but I know somebody here gets it, I HOPE.

Carol