Friends or Lack Thereof - Need Advice/ or Feedback

[Guest guest]

I used to be an outgoing, social, haha likeable person. Then the pain came.

I'm sure I am still those things, I just don't always have the time and energy

to be those things around and with others. I can't always guarantee when or if

I'll have energy to do things on a certain, particular date.

I understand that people/friends can't wait until the last minute to see how I'm

feeling to go. So, either I don't get invited, or I get avoided.

I want to reach out and make friends, and I must say that I am feeling a little

inept.

I have a lot of friends online, and across the states, but none locally.

Since California is pretty much the sunshine state, no one is interested in

doing anything indoors! They all want to go out into the sun, drink or dance

the night away, go to loud music places, or out where there are crowds. None of

which I can do.

Crowds make me so dizzy, loud music disorients me, the bright sunlight blinds

me, and anything where I have to stand or walk too long is just not a good

idea. And lately you can add in heat, hot weather. Today the temperature was

107 degrees!

OK. So, what can I do then? I guess I don't know. I prefer to do inside

things. I like to sew, knit, crochet, cook, make collages, scrapbooks, etc. I

am also well read on many subjects, and I like to read. Where are these people

who do indoor things? I am thinking California is not an indoor state!

States where folks cannot go outside 365 days/year, they tend to be more

interactive. They know how to relate to people. They get stuck indoors for a

few months of the year with snow and storms, so they have to be able to

socialize or they'd kill each other.

Not here. Out here, everyone is kinda superficial. For examle, as long as you

party, they party with you. But they don't " like " you otherwise. They will

bowl with you, or jog with you, but they won't do both. I find that most people

out here have one activity they do and they are not willing to try others. But,

I noticed that before I got sick.

Before I got sick, I had some friends who played tennis, others who bowl, some

who bike ride, some who roller blade, etc. None of them were willing to do

anything except that what they do. However, I did them all. If I went

somewhere and they were rock climbing, I'd jump in. It doesn't matter to me.

I'm easy to be friends with because I am open to just about any activity.

So, where to find friends? Friends who are well-rounded? Who understand pain,

and that I will do all I can to go out and keep every engagement and plan, but

who can forgive the times I cannot. Who are these people? Where are they?

I think I'm just feeling sorry for myself this long weekend. I don't have any

relatives. I come from a long line of only children. So, it's kinda just me -

no usual aunts/uncles, etc.

Then, I work all week, and the long work hours make me tired, and then (my

excuse is) the weekends creep up on me. And then here I am. Everyone is out

enjoying the 3-day weekend, and I am home. Wondering what to do with myself.

It's too hot to go anywhere, and everyone is doing stuff, so no one wants to

come and sit with me.

I have my doggies, and they love me. They take turns sleeping at my feet.

I've been watching movies all day.

But, I would like to go out and make some new friends.

How to do that? Any suggestions? I tried some of the groups, but I can't keep

up with them, and so I don't fit in so well.

Enough whining. If anyone can relate or if anyone has any ideas, feel free to

email me.

Thanks all,

Jade