Guest guest Posted November 16, 2002 Report Share Posted November 16, 2002 If you figure this out , people are going to come to you searching for the meaning of life. ;-) Penny >>>>>>>> I think I need at least 3 things: 1) A way to manage these tantrums once they are going; 2) An intellectual understanding of what is going on within her at that time; and, 3) How to head them off without her being in total control of our family at all times. <<<<<<<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2002 Report Share Posted November 16, 2002 I'm such a busy body that I'll go ahead and chime in on this one. I agree. I would much rather that *I* restrain my child, rather than anyone else.. I think Louisa's point is that rather than have someone else restrain Liesel, that they REMOVE her. I agree with that totally... I guess I just don't trust people. ....and believe me, in Jacqui's case...if someone else tried to restrain her she'd NEVER go near that person again. Penny Re: restraining children > I have to restrain Liesel often, usually because she is just about > the attack Freyja. > I would not be happy for school to do this, I would much prefer they > removed her from the situation to protect other children. Louisa~ I don't understand....Its okay for you to restain her (OFTEN as you said above)to protect just 1 child, but you wouldn't be happy if the school did it to protect numerous children? That's seems odd to me, but everyone seems to see things differently. Amy mom to Noah 6 Lucas 8 ASD's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2002 Report Share Posted November 16, 2002 > > I have to restrain Liesel often, usually because she is just about > > the attack Freyja. > > I would not be happy for school to do this, I would much prefer > they > > removed her from the situation to protect other children. > > > Louisa~ I don't understand....Its okay for you to restain her (OFTEN > as you said above)to protect just 1 child, but you wouldn't be happy > if the school did it to protect numerous children? That's seems odd > to me, but everyone seems to see things differently. I think it depends on the resources you have at hand. A parent home alone with multiple children HAS to deal with situations differently than multiple adults caring for multiple children. I would think in most situations in a classroom setting, it would be easier and safer for everybody for one adult to remove the child from the situation and give her a chance to calm down; the other adult(s) can stay with the other children. At home the parent would be forced to leave at least one child unattended. Even at home I don't agree with putting a child in a basket hold etc until she stops fighting, but you may be forced to keep her on the couch or hold her arms to keep her from hitting, etc. I am talking about restraint for safety issues only. I also feel that restraining one child in front of his classmates would be degrading and upsetting to all the children involved. The other children may fear the teacher will do the same to them or may be made afraid of or for the child being restrained. Obviously breif restraint may be necessary for safety reasons but the child should be moved to a safe area and released as soon as possible. I agree with Sissi that restraint only teaches the child that the biggest, strongest person wins; and you will be in serious trouble when that child grows up to be the biggest, strongest person. The ultimate goal should be to teach that child *self-restraint* so that he can remove *himself* to a time-out area when he is feeling overwhelmed -- BEFORE he loses control and lashes out. JMO. -Sara. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2002 Report Share Posted November 17, 2002 Thanks, Sara. You said it much better and more calmly than I could. Sissi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2002 Report Share Posted November 17, 2002 Okay. Should I put out hors d'oeuvres? :-) -- In parenting_autism@y..., " Penny " <nospam@p...> wrote: > If you figure this out , people are going to come to you searching > for the meaning of life. > > ;-) > Penny > > >>>>>>>> > I think I need at least 3 things: > 1) A way to manage these tantrums once they are going; > 2) An intellectual understanding of what is going on within her at > that time; and, > 3) How to head them off without her being in total control of our > family at all times. > <<<<<<<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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