RE: why?

[Guest guest]

Wow, Sara.

people in your area sure do feel free to stick their noses in. In the six

years I've had I haven't gotten as many comments as you list in one

post.

I wonder if it's a canadian thing?

(((hugs)))

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Sara, you have had a sucky week.

>>>>>>Why should any of you care?<<<<<<<<<<<

Because you're a sweet lady who does an impossible job and we know becuase we've

all been there.

>>>>>>>>>

He FLIPPED and there was no way to get him off the thing. I actually was going

to just step off but it was going too fast. We ended up huddled on the floor

with me wrapped around him and restraining him from self-injuring. He was

SCREAMING. Over and over again. It was horrible. The stares, the

comments...and then, he didn't want to leave. He wanted to run around and

around the fence some more. The rest of the trip was him trying to escape and

run back there, while we tried to get the hell out of there. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Yup, that's and I at K-days with a roller coaster. I've learned to

answer stares with a glare that would melt rocks.

>>>>>>>Matt said I should have spoken to her manager. <<<<<<<<<

I've spoken to managers about that kind of harrassment. All you have to do is

use words like " discrimination " and " lawyer " and watch them backtrack.

>>>>>>>

He just needs discipline.

Simply EXPLAIN to your child...

Now there's a kid who needs a good old-fashioned trip to the woodshed.

I told him to stop and he didn't! What is he, deaf?

Dogs should be leashed, not children.

Breastfeeding and sharing a bed with a 3 year old is sexual abuse.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I've heard all of those many times. It's all crap, of course. The glare comes

in handy here, too.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

Matt's mother is guilt-tripping us to come visit for Mikey's birthday. We can't

keep him safe here in our apartment, how are we supposed to take him there? It

is " too hard " for them to come here.

<<<<<<<<

That's my SIL. She thinks it's too traumatic for her NT 2 yo to travel three

hours by car, but seems to think the same trip is easy for us.

>>>>>>>>>>>

There is no way for me to get through to him that there are some things he can't

do. There is no way at all to discipline him & have him understand what I'm

trying to teach him.

<<<<<<<<<<<

You teach him every day through your love and your patience.

Things will get better, Sara. And keep talking, it helps.

Tuna

********Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download :

http://explorer.msn.com

[Guest guest]

Oh Sara...

:-(

>>> I felt like the worst mother of

the most spoiled brat in the world.

<<<<

I know you felt that way, but NEITHER one of those statements is anywhere

near true.

>>>>>>>>>

Finally, finally the line moved and we got on. Crisis over, right? Wrong.

He FLIPPED and there was no way to get him off the thing. I actually was

going to just step off but it was going too fast. We ended up huddled on

the floor with me wrapped around him and restraining him from self-injuring.

He was SCREAMING. Over and over again. It was horrible. The stares, the

comments...and then, he didn't want to leave. He wanted to run around and

around the fence some more. The rest of the trip was him trying to escape

and run back there, while we tried to get the hell out of there.

<<<<<<<

OK. I would like to know exactly how many people offered to HELP

you.....!!!!

>>>>>>

We went to the indoor Mc's playplace. I took off his shoes. He took

off his socks. The Mc's employee informed me that he had to wear his

socks or he couldn't play,

<<<<<<<<

Screw them... Considering what some of parents let their kids do there, the

fact that Mikey doesn't have his socks on is the least of their worrries.

Next time ask them " What's the matter? Have you guys not sanitized it like

you are SUPPOSE to do? "

>>>>>

The school has already assigned him a sped teacher. We haven't even had the

MFE completed yet and they've assigned him a teacher and a classroom. They

won't even talk about integration and anything about typical peers is

preceded with multiple ifs.

<<<<<

<phtttttttttttt>

>>>>>>>

My case worker called to ask what kind of cleaners I use. I should have

said, " What does this have to do with getting us the waiver? " But no, idiot

that I am, I told him. He informed me that he has asthma and so he KNOWS I

can use x, y, & z cleaners because they don't cause asthma attacks. I have

to leave the windows open & turn the air filter on after he comes out here.

He doesn't know what the problem is, he's not wearing cologne.

<<<<<<<

Screw him too...

>>>>>

Breastfeeding and sharing a bed with a 3 year old is sexual abuse.

<<<<<

Huh. Well, then don't tell anyone that my 7 1/2 year old daughter sleeps

with us occasionally.

>>>>>>>

Matt is depressed and not sleeping. He is an insulin-dependant diabetic who

is not taking his medication. I can't get myself showered and dressed in a

day, how am I supposed to make sure he takes his meds?

<<<<<<<

This part is important Sara...YOU ARE NOT MATT'S MOTHER. HE IS AN ADULT.

HE MUST BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. HE IS NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

>>>>>>>>

Matt's mother is guilt-tripping us to come visit for Mikey's birthday. We

can't keep him safe here in our apartment, how are we supposed to take him

there? It is " too hard " for them to come here.

<<<<<<<

Well, Sara...If it's too hard for them to go to you, then it's equally as

hard for you to go to them. Don't back down on this one.

Being the " naturalist " that you are, have you looked into the TEACHH method

at all????? Maybe that's worth a shot... I dunno.

{{{{Sara}}}}}

Penny

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>

Then she

went on talking to Alec about how he should want to be a big boy and

stop using his pacifier and such. Then she tells me how to get rid of

it by talking to Alec about it.

<<<<<<<<<

ACCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

People.

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>

> Breastfeeding and sharing a bed with a 3 year old is sexual abuse.

That's ridiculous, as you know. Anybody who says such a thing should be

regarded with extreme suspicion and never be left alone with children.

<<<<<<<

....and THAT is a VERY good point, Sissi!

Penny

[Guest guest]

Sara, you have every right to feel frustrated. Vent away.

Janae

, 9, ADD

Jake, 6, autism

[Guest guest]

> >>That's ridiculous, as you know. Anybody who says such a thing should be

> regarded with extreme suspicion and never be left alone with children.

>

> Unfortunately it was another parent who told me this.

That doesn't mean Sissi's wrong, you know. Parents can be pedophiles as

easily as single people, as sick as that is.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> Why

> am I giving his new toy to that stranger at the check-out counter? Why

> can't he open it and play with it in the cart?

Here's where I'm lucky. Boone LOVES cash register ladies. They have such

cool machines with numbers that light up and we get to push buttons (because

I hardly ever have cash -- ).

Besides, he never really asks for anything and seems surprised (and a little

suspicius) everytime he gets something. This is weird because I always get

him something, even if it's something very small.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

> I am just such a wimp. I never know what to say or do in situations

> like that and usually I just walk away. A card could be pretty

> non-confrontational, though...

When I had them, we personalized them. The front said, " Hi! My name is

Boone. I'm three years old and I'm autistic. "

Inside it I just had the usual stuff, but the personal note made people

realize that not only was he disabled, he's very, very young. Boone looks

older than he is because he's big.

> He'll be 3 in September. The school district does have integrated

> pre-school classrooms. They want to put him in the severely handicapped

> room. I have heard bad things from other parents with kids in the same

> program, that basically he will be ignored while they change and tube-feed

> and do ROM and position the kids in wheelchairs. As long as he's sitting

in

> a corner spinning something it's easier just to let him.

Boone was in severely developmentally delayed pre-k for two years. It did

help him socially since he was really the only kid in the class with an

actual diagnosis of autism. The other kids were social and talked. He liked

them and mid-way through the second year could name them all.

I think it was much better than shoving him into a crowded normal class with

NT kids before he was ready. No sense in rushing things.

After I raised some hell, the teacher began using PECS with him in all

situations too. I think it was very beneficial for Boone. I don't think he

would have been ready for a regular class at age three or even age four.

Now that he's five and in a regular class, he's getting a behavior report

almost every day. Nothing too terribly serious and it seems to be less

serious with each passing day.

I really think he's doing great.

You need to do what you think is best for Mikey. Only you can know what is

best.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

>>When I had them, we personalized them. The front said, " Hi! My name is

Boone. I'm three years old and I'm autistic. "

>>Inside it I just had the usual stuff, but the personal note made people

realize that not only was he disabled, he's very, very young. Boone looks

older than he is because he's big.

Oh I LIKE that idea. I think I'm going to type something up tonight & see

if we can get them printed off...our printer is broken.

We have the same problem. Most people think he's 4, and he is bigger than

some of the 4 year olds on the playground. I never thought of putting his

age on there though.

Thanks again.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

> > >>That's ridiculous, as you know. Anybody who says such a thing should

be

> > regarded with extreme suspicion and never be left alone with children.

> >

> > Unfortunately it was another parent who told me this.

>

> That doesn't mean Sissi's wrong, you know. Parents can be pedophiles as

> easily as single people, as sick as that is.

Unfortunately, in most cases, that's who the pedophiles are.

Sissi

Kids' Page

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/dillon.htm

Boone's Art

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/bart.htm

[Guest guest]

Yep (

(inAus)

>>That's ridiculous, as you know. Anybody who says such a thing should be

> regarded with extreme suspicion and never be left alone with children.

>

> Unfortunately it was another parent who told me this.

That doesn't mean Sissi's wrong, you know. Parents can be pedophiles as

easily as single people, as sick as that is.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>> I keep trying it, and it keeps not working. Last time he ate the

> cards...yes, they were laminated...I thought it kind of defeated

the purpose

> to keep the PECS cards out of his reach, so we gave up.>>

Sara,

The way we had to start on picture cards was to use laminated

labels of the foods he wanted (Sprite, Skittles, and Airheads), and

sit with him and just go over and over....help him hand us the card,

hand him the junk food...it took MONTHS, but he finally has gotten

it. Now I have a " choice board " on the pantry door with those three

cards on them, and he will go to the pantry; when I ask " What would

you like? " , he will hand me a card. He even occasionally hands me

one spontaneously...but usually still needs the verbal prompt.

It doesn't work yet for anything but junk...motivation, you know. We

are trying now to slowly expand it to other things.

Just letting you know that with some kids it takes FOREVER...but they

do get it if you hang in there and keep it very simple--like one or

two cards.

> His ST has us using some sign & it does help a little. He

understands " no "

> " stop " and " wait " but he is often unable to do what we're asking. >>

" Wait " is one of the hardest things for ...I think that he has

an odd concept of time, and that he also has this constant stress

level going that tells him that everything is likely to go wrong for

him, so he best make sure it happens right away. It is getting

better, if that's any consolation. ;-)

has never been able to do signs...motor planning (and yes,

it's sensory based)...we switched to teaching him adapted signs and

signals, and he can do them...but his memory apparently hits its

limit at three, then he starts mixing them up. He has a signal

for " come with me " that he uses all the time...got rid of a ton of

frustration.

There is a website (hopefully still there) for " simplified signs " ...a

project done by a college student who realized that many kids can't

do " real " signing...we took several signs off of that one. For kids

who can't motor plan, signs that have both hands doing the same thing

at the same time are the easiest to learn...so we started there...

I think that coming up with a functional communication system has

been the toughest thing for us...but we are sort of getting

there...dreadfully slowly, but it is coming. We are just piecing

together whatever works at whatever level he can do it, and making it

up as we go.

Raena

[Guest guest]

Sissi what is this card that you are talking about? I am interested in

learning about this.

Lori

Re: Why?

>

> > I am just such a wimp. I never know what to say or do in situations

> > like that and usually I just walk away. A card could be pretty

> > non-confrontational, though...

>

> When I had them, we personalized them. The front said, " Hi! My name is

> Boone. I'm three years old and I'm autistic. "

>

> Inside it I just had the usual stuff, but the personal note made people

> realize that not only was he disabled, he's very, very young. Boone looks

> older than he is because he's big.

>

> > He'll be 3 in September. The school district does have integrated

> > pre-school classrooms. They want to put him in the severely handicapped

> > room. I have heard bad things from other parents with kids in the same

> > program, that basically he will be ignored while they change and

tube-feed

> > and do ROM and position the kids in wheelchairs. As long as he's

sitting

> in

> > a corner spinning something it's easier just to let him.

>

> Boone was in severely developmentally delayed pre-k for two years. It did

> help him socially since he was really the only kid in the class with an

> actual diagnosis of autism. The other kids were social and talked. He

liked

> them and mid-way through the second year could name them all.

>

> I think it was much better than shoving him into a crowded normal class

with

> NT kids before he was ready. No sense in rushing things.

>

> After I raised some hell, the teacher began using PECS with him in all

> situations too. I think it was very beneficial for Boone. I don't think he

> would have been ready for a regular class at age three or even age four.

>

> Now that he's five and in a regular class, he's getting a behavior report

> almost every day. Nothing too terribly serious and it seems to be less

> serious with each passing day.

>

> I really think he's doing great.

>

> You need to do what you think is best for Mikey. Only you can know what is

> best.

>

>

> Sissi

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It's just one I made on the computer. I can't even remember exactly what it

had since I haven't really needed to use one in a long time.

I use one sheet of paper and fold it like a greeting card.

On the front in child's handwriting font, it says:

Hi! My name is Boone. I'm three years old. I'm autistic.

Inside left in a script (cursive) font:

Please don't let my child's behavior disturb you ...

Inside right (in times new roman):

Some info about autism I copied from somewhere. It gives the communication

and sensory difficulties and behavior problems associated with autism, the

fact that it is a life-long condition with no cure.

On the back:

Many people with autism improve with many years of occupational and speech

therapy. For more information please contact the Autism Society of America

www.asa.org (or something like that).

It worked like a charm.

Sissi

Kids' Page

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/dillon.htm

Boone's Art

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/bart.htm

Re: Why?

>

>

> >

> > > I am just such a wimp. I never know what to say or do in

situations

> > > like that and usually I just walk away. A card could be pretty

> > > non-confrontational, though...

> >

> > When I had them, we personalized them. The front said, " Hi! My name is

> > Boone. I'm three years old and I'm autistic. "

> >

> > Inside it I just had the usual stuff, but the personal note made people

> > realize that not only was he disabled, he's very, very young. Boone

looks

> > older than he is because he's big.

> >

> > > He'll be 3 in September. The school district does have integrated

> > > pre-school classrooms. They want to put him in the severely

handicapped

> > > room. I have heard bad things from other parents with kids in the

same

> > > program, that basically he will be ignored while they change and

> tube-feed

> > > and do ROM and position the kids in wheelchairs. As long as he's

> sitting

> > in

> > > a corner spinning something it's easier just to let him.

> >

> > Boone was in severely developmentally delayed pre-k for two years. It

did

> > help him socially since he was really the only kid in the class with an

> > actual diagnosis of autism. The other kids were social and talked. He

> liked

> > them and mid-way through the second year could name them all.

> >

> > I think it was much better than shoving him into a crowded normal class

> with

> > NT kids before he was ready. No sense in rushing things.

> >

> > After I raised some hell, the teacher began using PECS with him in all

> > situations too. I think it was very beneficial for Boone. I don't think

he

> > would have been ready for a regular class at age three or even age four.

> >

> > Now that he's five and in a regular class, he's getting a behavior

report

> > almost every day. Nothing too terribly serious and it seems to be less

> > serious with each passing day.

> >

> > I really think he's doing great.

> >

> > You need to do what you think is best for Mikey. Only you can know what

is

> > best.

> >

> >

> > Sissi

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks Sissi I am going to see about putting one together.

Lori

Re: Why?

> >

> >

> > >

> > > > I am just such a wimp. I never know what to say or do in

> situations

> > > > like that and usually I just walk away. A card could be pretty

> > > > non-confrontational, though...

> > >

> > > When I had them, we personalized them. The front said, " Hi! My name is

> > > Boone. I'm three years old and I'm autistic. "

> > >

> > > Inside it I just had the usual stuff, but the personal note made

people

> > > realize that not only was he disabled, he's very, very young. Boone

> looks

> > > older than he is because he's big.

> > >

> > > > He'll be 3 in September. The school district does have integrated

> > > > pre-school classrooms. They want to put him in the severely

> handicapped

> > > > room. I have heard bad things from other parents with kids in the

> same

> > > > program, that basically he will be ignored while they change and

> > tube-feed

> > > > and do ROM and position the kids in wheelchairs. As long as he's

> > sitting

> > > in

> > > > a corner spinning something it's easier just to let him.

> > >

> > > Boone was in severely developmentally delayed pre-k for two years. It

> did

> > > help him socially since he was really the only kid in the class with

an

> > > actual diagnosis of autism. The other kids were social and talked. He

> > liked

> > > them and mid-way through the second year could name them all.

> > >

> > > I think it was much better than shoving him into a crowded normal

class

> > with

> > > NT kids before he was ready. No sense in rushing things.

> > >

> > > After I raised some hell, the teacher began using PECS with him in all

> > > situations too. I think it was very beneficial for Boone. I don't

think

> he

> > > would have been ready for a regular class at age three or even age

four.

> > >

> > > Now that he's five and in a regular class, he's getting a behavior

> report

> > > almost every day. Nothing too terribly serious and it seems to be less

> > > serious with each passing day.

> > >

> > > I really think he's doing great.

> > >

> > > You need to do what you think is best for Mikey. Only you can know

what

> is

> > > best.

> > >

> > >

> > > Sissi

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I love you Sara!!! What happened sweetie??

" It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous

that you realize just how much you love them. "

- Agatha Christie

, frazzled mom to:

, PDD-NOS, ADHD, Mixed Expressive/Receptive Language Disorder, 4

, NT, Terrible Twos, but adorable none-the-less, 2

Why?

Why do people have to be so judgemental?

Why do they automatically have to assume the worst about another person just

because s/he's different?

Why do I get so upset and wound up about it instead of shrugging them off as

ignorant and forgetting they're alive?

Why do I think they are ever, ever going to come to agree with me if I just

keep talking at them long enough?

Oh, dear.

-Sara.