New to the group

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group . I hope you find as much comfort here as I have.

Tara

[Guest guest]

,

Well to the group. I'm so sorry for your losses. The ladies here are

all wonderful and I'm sure you will be feeling right at home before you

know it.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love & hugs,

Jo-Ann

[Guest guest]

Hi new Amy. Welcome to the group. You have found the right place!

Feel free to ask any questions, you will always get a reply, everyone

here is great. I am very sorry for your loss, if you need to talk,

we are here.

Take care,

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to the group, I hope you will find all the comfort and support

here that you need. Many people with tubal problems have gone on

successfully to have babies with IVF so that is one option, but I think

that adoption is a great alternative too

Vicki

hairston@... wrote:

>

> My name is . I'm 28 years old. I've had several EPs. Last

> summer, when I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited. After a

> week or so, I started bleeding. They thought I was having a

> miscarriage, but then I started having the pain on the left side. I

> had surgery and my doctor removed part of my left tube. Several

> months after that, I found out I was pregnant again, another EP

> unfortunately. My husband and I were heartbroken. For the next

> several months, I was in pain. My doctor decided to do surgery and

> he found adhesions and endo just on my remaining tube. I started

> Lupron in February, had my second shot in May & now I'm waiting for

> my period to come back so that we can ttc. If I have another EP,

> we'll probably consider adoption.

>

> I'm glad I found the group and look forward to chatting with you!

>

[Guest guest]

Amy,

So sorry you have to find a group like this, but I'd like to say

welcome and sorry for your loss. The women here are very supportive

and caring. They are full of knowledge and willing to help anyway

they can. I hope you find this group as rewarding as I have since I

joined back in April. You are on a rough road right now, but I hope

w/time and support you will soon find it does get a little smoother.

Take care and have a nice weekend.

Kel

[Guest guest]

,

Welcome to the group. My heart breaks every time I have to say that to

someone new. You have been through a traumatic experience for sure. Take

time to not only heal your body, but to heal your heart. We'll all be here

for you every step of the way.

Take Care,

[Guest guest]

D,

Oh I am so sorry to have to welcome you to this group. It is a

terrible awful feeling to lose a baby. And right now I know that it

feels like it will never get any better. I promise that with time

your heart will start to heal. My ep was on 9/29 and in those 3 1/2

months I have come a long way, but I never thought I would smile

again at first. It's okay to cry, cry as much as you need to, there

is no time limit as to how long you should greive.

I can completely understand your denial going into surgery. I was

doing the same thing since the u/s couldn't see anything in the

uterus or the tube and the dr said that it wasn't necessarily late

enough to see anything in the uterus. But I really knew that they

wouldn't be sending me to surgery if everything was going to be

okay. I too woke up and found out not only had I lost my baby but my

left tube. That is something that is extremely difficult to hear and

you are completely normal in that you are wondering what your future

will hold. I've run through every possible scenario in my head that

I can think of. But please know that there is still plenty of hope.

Many women on this list have gone on to get pg again (in uterus) some

with and some without the aid of technology/drugs and some with only

one tube. So never give up hope. And whenver you need to post to

the group (write as long as you want/need to) please do so. I hope

we'll be of help and comfort to you.

-Amy

[Guest guest]

Welcome to the group. I know I also went through denial with my ep.

It is really hard to come to grips with whats going on. Everything

happens so fast. I hope you recover quickly. Once you can have the

HSG you can get a good idea of whats going on with your other tube

and what direction to take.

Pam

[Guest guest]

Dear -

Your story reminds me so much of what I went through in August when I

discovered my first pg was ectopic. I don't know what was more

devastating: loosing the pg or thinking that I may never be able to

have a uterine pg. In my case it was caught early on, and I was

treated with metho. Though it took 14 very long weeks for my HCG

levels to go down, I am so glad I got to keep the right tube because

the dye test last month showed that my other tube (which I thought I

would have to count on from now on) is blocked. We will still try to

conceive naturally, and there are many inspirational success stories

on this group, but I think we will have to go through IVF at some

point. I am 33 and rapidly approaching IVF cut-off dates.

As for the silver lining in this tragedy, you don't have to look far

to see it. It sounds like your relationship with is very

strong, and it will only get stronger. That's what I discovered about

my husband. Though he was certainly less affected than me, he was my

pillar, and it was so comforting to be able to rely on him, heart and

soul. Also, it may seem like a part of you has died, and while you

are

changed forever by the experience, it will get better with time. It

took me two months, before I could smile and enjoy life again, but it

did happen. Finding out about the blocked tube was also devastating,

but I recovered more quickly from it.

Welcome to the group. We are here to provide support for one another.

a

[Guest guest]

Hi my name is , I will be 27 on the 18th of this month. My fiance's

name is Chuck, we have been together now for 3 and 1/2 years. Chuck just

asked me to marry him on Christmas Day. I cant be happier about that. Chuck

was my first and know I know he will be my last.

When we first got together I tried to go on several diff types of the pill

and they all made me ill, we were discussing our other options, but in the

mean time was using condoms. One night we were careless and too lazy to fill

our supply and I got pg. weeks later I could not understand what was going on

but I had abnormal bleeding, and I was in a lot of pain. Chuck works in an ER

and I did not want to go there because I knew too many people too closely, so

I went to another and that is were I had my first ep, I was not explained

what it was or why, nothing. We moved to a diff. state a month later. more

than a year later we started to discuss getting pg again, and we stopped

using protection. I waited and waited and waited, I thought something was

wrong with me (besides being depressed, which I denied) I made an apt. with a

Dr. in my new neighborhood and he told me I was pg. I rushed right home and

told Chuck we were so happy we told everyone we knew and had a party, and for

the first time we talked about getting married. I was on top of the world.

Because I did not know anything about my last ep, Not even if I still had a

tube I had no clue I should tell my new Dr. about my surgery so at 7 weeks my

tube burst. Chuck was so good through the whole thing he took such good care

of me during and after at home when I would cry until I threw up he never let

me down he took time off of work and he bathed me and people would come by

and bring me flowers and gifts the strange part was I did not realize until

now that I never really grieved, but neither did Chuck. This was May of 99.

In Aug. Chuck had an affair. I have never wanted to die so bad everything I

ever wanted was gone.

Chuck came to where I had moved after finding out about the affair and begged

me to come back to him. We spent some time living apart and just dating and

talking, we had been through so much together. I went to his familles house

for Thanks giving and that night I never went back to my own apt. except to

remove my things. we moved back to the place where we lived together but our

own house now.

Well, in Dec. Chuck started to talk about getting pg again and at my second

ep I found out that the first was just surgery and my tube was fine and

working. Every day he would find a little way to fit getting pg again into

our conversation, Inside i was not ready but never said no and did not say

anything when he decided to stop using protection again, i want nothing more

in this world than to get pg and have a full term baby but i know we are not

ready i am not seeing a DR on a reg. basis and it is just too soon. I am very

sad to say that I think I am pg and something is wrong, my last norm. cycle

was in Nov. And I started to bleed on the 28 of Dec. but it is not norm. its

dark and just spotting not a lot unless we make love. I called today and made

a DR apt it is on my 27th birth day and i am so scared that it will be

another ep please help me thank you

[Guest guest]

,

(((((HUGS))))), my heart goes out to you as I am sad to see that someone else

is having to travel down this painful road, however I am glad to see that you

have found this group and a promise a lifeline when you most and least expect

it. My EP was in July,2000, and I can only promise that it will and does get

easier.

DanaF

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

First, let me say welcome. You have truly found a place of great support and

understanding. Second, please, please, please go to the doctor as soon as

possible. You do not want to wait, if in fact you are pregnant, to begin to

be monitored right away!

I am truly sorry about your loss... it is so hard to go through, but just

know that you are not alone and we'll all be here for you, every step of the

way~

Take Care,

[Guest guest]

thank you

[Guest guest]

Thank you for your advice, but as I stated in my first mail (I know it was

long) I called for an apt today and it is on the 18th my birth day.

[Guest guest]

jennifer,

there definitly is light at the end of the tunnel it just takes some time to

reach it. I hope that you start to feel better soon. I was allowed to try

again after 3 periods. I had surgery and they removed my left tube.

jeanette

[Guest guest]

jessica,

i would make the doctor see you earlier especially with your past history.

Tell him you want blood work and an u/s. I hope everything works out for you.

jeanette

[Guest guest]

Hey there ,

I'm so sorry for your loss but I am glad you found us. These women

have been my saving grace so many times over the last month I cant

believe it.

My surgry was on the 12/1 (grrrr down here I would write that 1/12

but since there are more americans then australians I'll do it your

way!), and No-body told me it was going to be okay. That kept telling

me how relived I must be. I'm only 18 you see. My advise to you is

dont ever let anyone tell you how you or how should feel. No one will

completely ever know what your going thru, and those who have had an

ep have only a slightest clue. You may not need IVF my aunt had a

tube removed from a ep and still concieved and carried to term her

daughter.

Feel free to let out all your feelings on us, vent all you want.

Dont ever think your crazy, and cry all you want, all the time if you

want too.

Keep in contact with us

Your in my prayers

Blessed Be

Willisa

[Guest guest]

I think you should try and get into the dr's ASAP!! You have been

through a lot. After 2 ep's and now your concerns with this pg you

really should seek medical attention. This is a great support group.

Pam

[Guest guest]

D,

I am soo sorry that you had to find us, but you will find more support here

than you ever imagined.

YES< YES< YES there is light at the end of the tunnel. I promise you this.

I had an ep on 8/31/00 after trying to get pg for over a year. Up until

they were wheeling me in, I kept thinking that they'd tell me it was some

huge mistake too. I lost my right tube. Everything that you are feeling is

normal. You are grieving. You lost your baby. The darkness does go away.

Feel your feelings, cry if you need to. And if others don't understand, we

all here do.

We have been ttc for 3 months now and so far no luck. But I have hope.

lots of hope and faith. I will go at the end of this month (providing I am

not pg... ) and have the dye test. It's hard not to think about all the

what ifs of the future. MY only advice is to try to stay in the day and

grieve and I promise you, you will feel better physically and emotionally.

This bunch of woman literally saved me over the past 4 months. Share if you

want, you'll get soo much.

I'm keeping you in my prayers.

lisa r

T.T.F.N.

[Guest guest]

,

you are in my thoughts and prayers.

lisa r

T.T.F.N.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 1/10/01 8:33:47 PM Eastern Standard Time, TeddyR18@...

writes:

> I called for an apt today and it is on the 18th my birth day.

>

>

>

>

Gosh I hate to beat this drum but IF YOU SUSPECT soemthing is wrong, get to

the doctor ASAP~! or an emergency room. Ectopic pregnancys can burst and you

can bleed to death. Upon finding out my pregnancy was ectopic, i was

immediatly hospitalized due to the size of the baby int he tube!

I know we may all sound like alarmist, their may be nothign wrong BUTTTTT if

you suspect, better get it checked out sooner, the 18th is a whole week away!

Please,

HOpe all is turns out to be nothing,

but pleaseeeeeeee get it checked,

you have been through so much already!

love

dawn

" If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies. If

they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees. Let no

one go there unwarned and unprayed for. " H. Spurgeon

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it doesn't feel like it, but it does get

easier. You'll never forget your angel baby (and you shouldn't), the pain

will just lessen a little more each week.

I learned the hard way that men do feel the loss, but they react to it

differently. I don't know if it's the male ego that they can't mourn, or

are afraid to show emotion. My husband was upset that weekend, then didn't

mention it. He actually got mad at me for spending money on books related

to ectopic pregnancy. He felt I was dwelling in misery and should be

focused on starting IVF. Everyone is different. Only you know what you

need to heal. Personally, I think it helps to understand what happened in

your body. And this group has helped me immensely! It's okay to cry; and

it's okay not to. And don't allow anyone's insensitivity to upset you. I

had a hard time learning how to respond when someone said that " it's for the

best, that there was something wrong with the baby. " I now know, there was

nothing wrong with my baby other than a blocked tube. That my baby was a

life and deserves to be mourned as one.

Look into ALL your options, I don't agree with going through multiple losses

before trying IVF if there's a serious problem. We all want the same end

result.

Good luck. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that you'll find a

lot of support here.

maria

New to the Group

> Hello. My name is and I am 25 years old. I was just

> married in April to , my childhood sweetheart of 10 years.

> Until recently, I thought we had gone through everything together:

> losing his mother, financial trouble, planning a wedding, dealing

> other loved ones passing, more money troubles, his dysfunctional

> family (although I love my in-laws, they have had some serious

> troubles), and many other ups and downs in our relationship. We have

> made it through every one, and I thought we had seen it all. Well,

> to date, we now have something else on our minds.

>

> Although we are only married nine or so months, we decided that we

> would like to start thinking about having children. I stopped taking

> birth control in October, and figured that I would be ready in a few

> months. Well, my November period was normal, and I was thrilled

> (since I was on the pill to regulate it). I was hoping that I would

> stay regular, and we could try to conceive in a few cycles. On

> December 7 I started to bleed, with slight cramps on my left side,

> and thought nothing else but my regular period. That bleeding

> stopped 10 days later, and started again after 2 days. When I

> started again on Christmas Eve, I started to get worried. I called

> my doctor, and spoke to his partner, who suggested I might be

> pregnant. Pregnancy was the furthest from my mind, but we didn't

> mind, it was only a few months sooner! Well, the week following was

> torture... from HPTs and doctor bloodtests, I was very confused.

> What ws going on? Finally, last Wed., an US confirmed it, and Thurs

> morning, I was in surgery. All and I kept thinking was, no,

> impossible, we can't be a statistic.

>

> When I went into surgery, I was denying the ectopic. I knew that

> when I woke up, they would tell me they made a mistake. But when I

> got down to my room, my husband was just looking at me. He was

> smiling, but with a strange message attached to that smile. I

> couldn't understand it. But then I felt pain, and I started to cry.

> When I was finally made aware of what happenned, I learned that my

> left tube was removed and a cyst was drained from the right one. In

> a few weeks, I have to have another US to check the healing of the

> right one, and in 2-3 months, I have to have the dye test.

>

> I am in a lot of pain, and I can seem to stop crying. I cannot

> believe we lost our baby, and I don't know what is worse, knowing

> that we lost our child, or not knowing if we will have another. I

> know there are miracle procedures out there, and I know that I would

> have a long way before I may need IVF, but I can only feel

> devastation right now. My husband is upset also, but he doesn't seem

> to be as worried as I am. Everyone around me says everything will be

> ok, but I can't seem to see that. I had the surgery tomorrow will be

> a week, so I know it is still new, but I just wish it was the

> springtime, so I would know more.

>

> In reading some of your postings, I know some of you have been

> through a lot worse, and my heart goes out to all of you. If there

> is a light at the end of the tunnel, please let me know. I am not

> sure when I will be ready to try again, but I think as soon as I can,

> I would like to. Maybe that is a mistake, but I guess I will have a

> few months to think about it.

>

> I know I have gone on and on and for now, I have said enough. Thank

> you for taking the time to read my story, and good luck to you all.

> D

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I would like to say also please please please go to the doctor - my ep

ruptured at FOUR weeks - it's never too soon to check it out!

Best regards,

[Guest guest]

I know what you said, but we're just trying to tell you that the 18th may be

TOO LATE!!!! Even if you have to go to emergency and complain of pain in

your sides, I would GO NOW!! They could push for a beta STAT and you'll have

an idea of where you stand. Sorry if I sound pushy, but I don't want to

worry about you writing to us re: a burst tube.

M

>

> Thank you for your advice, but as I stated in my first mail (I know it was

> long) I called for an apt today and it is on the 18th my birth day.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with , you need a Quantitative Beta blood test ASAP. If you're

concerned about going into an emergency room, just ask your family doctor to

write a script (prescription) and go to the Outpatient Services. They can

draw blood and have STAT results back in 3 hours. I was at the hospital

almost daily before my ep was confirmed; the hospital staff was very

accommodating, and very supportive.

maria

Re: Re: New to the Group

> I know what you said, but we're just trying to tell you that the 18th may

be

> TOO LATE!!!! Even if you have to go to emergency and complain of pain in

> your sides, I would GO NOW!! They could push for a beta STAT and you'll

have

> an idea of where you stand. Sorry if I sound pushy, but I don't want to

> worry about you writing to us re: a burst tube.

>

> M

> >

> > Thank you for your advice, but as I stated in my first mail (I know it

was

> > long) I called for an apt today and it is on the 18th my birth day.

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>