Teaching Social Skills

[Guest guest]

It was very helpful. I have two other children but they are 1) steps 2)

teenagers and 3) in Boston while we are in Philly. She still did great with

them when we are with them but that's not more than once a year. It really

does help because while I do take everywhere I go I have probabaly not

involved her in the acitvities that I would have had she been typical.

I am going to look into activities with her case manager on Monday. My

neighbor has two little girls and I will ask her if she will let me borrow

them. When we go over she seems to be alot more social than she was 6 months

ago. Since we started the cod liver oil her eye contact is wonderful. She

is starting to play we do tug of war with her jump role and she screams I won

you won at the end. Of course sometimes she wins and sometimes not

Thanks again

G

[Guest guest]

- I don't remember if has siblings or not - sorry.

has a brother who is 28 months older and a sister who is 15

months younger. Her father works nights and has been going to

school since she was diagnosised. My solution was to send to

as many different places, with as many different people as possible

and keep her there, even if it upset her. You have no idea how much

grief I took from people about why did I let her cry or what was

wrong with her and why wasn't I doing something about it. I have

educated so many people about autism, that I lost count along time

ago. If I didn't have the energy to take her myself, than I used my

respite time to send her somewhere with someone. I also sent her

siblings along as often as possible. My thought was that if I let

her behaviors keep us at home, as her father would have, how would

she ever learn how to behave? Her father thinks that no child

should ever cry, but I went along with that with my son and now my

son doesn't have the lung capacity that he would have developed if

he had been allowed to cry on occasion. With - let me tell

you, she has a great set of lungs. started school at 22

months old - a 45 minute bus ride each way, to and from school, for

2 and 1/2 hours of school, 3 days a week for the first 7 months and

than 5 days aweek this last school year. On top of that, I have her

do co-treatments with her speech/ot at the hospital. I have as many

people as possible interact with her, so that she has gradually

become accustom to transition from one setting to another - I would

not allow a ridged schedule, as everyone told me I would need to - I

told them that wasn't real life. She also goes out with her

personal support person or her father for additional time. While

she doesn't engage other children in play yet, she has stopped being

upset about having people in her space. While she doesn't make eye

contact, she will go and stand next to someone.

I had her at Club Kid - the hourly day care here in MN, last week.

While she wouldn't sit in the circle and play with the parachute

with the other kids, she was happy to be under it while the other

kids played with it. I think the key was to let be in

as many different places as possible. She still gets fussy now and

than, but I just walk 5 feet away and say bye - see you and she has

learned that it's time to get over it and get on with it. Her

teacher at school had the same attitude - we both look at her and

tell her to get over it and if she's not hurting herself, than

crying won't hurt her either.

My caseworker called me last week - she was so impressed with

's social skills, would I be willing to share my secrets with

another mother, who is having problems. I told her I have no

secrets. I sing to the world that my daughter is different and ask

people to understand it, as it is in her best interest to wait it

out, than to give in and redirection does not work at all. That's

in the next set of goals - to have her follow directions and to try

and have her engage other kids in play, but she is at least to the

point where she can be in a group of other children, so we will try

the ECSE class and see how she does.

I know this wasn't the answer you were probably looking for, but

this is what I thought and what I did and it seems to have worked.

[Guest guest]

- Glad it helped. I am sure your neighbor will be happy to

borrow you her kids - I'll issue the same invitation to you that I

do everybody - I live in Minnesota - about two miles from the mega

mall - if you ever want to take a trip, welcome to my chaos - please

feel free to borrow my kids any time - - the 5 yr old can hold

his own with kids of any age, so I don't worry about it - what would

be alittle more chaos? My husband is from Pakistan, so we are used

to having visitors and I love the distraction. I am currently

planning a picnic for families with special needs kids - I could end

up with anywhere from 20 to 100 or more people, but I think

everybody should have the opportunity to bring their kids to a

setting where other parents understand what could happen and will

look out for everybody elses - I will be bringing 's support

person to keep track of her and her father to keep track of my son -

but I will leave the two year old with my sister-in-law, as I am not

quite that brave and my two year old is more trouble than ever

thought of being - she's NT so far, but she's the one who will be

the runner - everytime her brother leaves the inside door open,

she's outside with the cat and neither are allowed out without me.

So far I am hoping for a magician and a clown and maybe a

waterballoon toss at the picnic, but I don't really want to

structure it more than that, as there is a huge play area and a mini

golf course at the park. The main issue so far has been the diet -

I will be purchasing color coded name tags and table clothes and

separating the foods according to diet and than having somebody

police the tables, so the parents who do the diet don't have to

worry as much. Sounds like a good job for me to volunteer for, that

way I am in the spot where everybody else will come to. By the way,

if you are interested in doing something like that in your area ARC

is helping with the cost and loves to help sponsor stuff like this.

If you can't find a service or a situation to help your child, my

thinking is that you either make it up, or you find someone who is

willing to.

Hence the special needs swimming program. By the way, my instructor

has been invited to the national convention for Swim America - about

4000 people, to speak about the program, so we have high hopes - now

I just have to get my act together and get the curriculm done and

his education completed before September.

[Guest guest]

I'm really happy to hear about your swim program! Everyone here keeps

telling me that BARC won't help us with costs because they say isn't MR

but now I wonder exactly what MR is. No one has ever done a formal IQ test

on her. Going to make some calls today I'll let you know how it goes. We

use to live in Minnesota when I was very young both twin cities at different

times. It would be nice to stop by if I'm ever up that way

G