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Sharmalee

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Sharmalee,

First off I wanted to welcome you to this group. I hope you find as

much support and information here as I have. An ep loss is hard to deal

with, most people that I talk to MAYBE know one person that has

experienced it or none at all. I can totally relate to the

insensitivity of people though. The office I work in is so small, only

7 people, yet when I got back after my ep, left on a Thursday and came

back to work on Monday, no one even asked how I was feeling, or doing or

anything. Thank God I do have one good friend here that was open to

talking about the whole thing, she didn't even know what had happened

but called while I was home on the weekend to see if I was ok. I think

you do really find out alot about people after you experience a loss.

Some are just to immature or self centered to acknowledge any one elses

feelings. When I finally did tell my boss, he was like, Oh, I thought

you JUST had a miscarriage (like that was no big deal..) then proceeded

to tell me how he had some puss filled growth on his chest that he had

to have lanced and was causing a fever etc.....HOW GROSSSS!!!! Not to

mention that he just skipped over what happened to me and went straight

to himself!! I have a hard time in dealing with him now and some other

co-workers that were equally insensitive....I really thought I knew them

I've been here for 12 years. Anyway---sorry to go off like that!!! I

know you said your tubes were blocked, but IVF is always an option.

Take care and post often,

Vicki

Sharmalee Posey wrote:

>

> Hi to everyone,

> My name is Sharmalee and to be honest this is my

> first time posting here. I just recently joined this

> group and have been doing nothing more than reading

> your messages, hoping that somehow it would help me.

> My story goes something like this... For 11 long

> years I tried endlessly to concieve. I wanted so

> badly to have another child, it was all that I could

> and still do think about. I have went through being

> angry, not understanding, depression, and denial, and

> everytime that I thought I would cry my last tear, it

> would all start again. It seemed my whole focus in

> life was to have another baby. I wanted so

> desperately for my daughter to have a brother or

> sister. However, after it being such a long period of

> time and nothing happening, I guess in a sense I

> finally accepted so to speak, that it was never going

> to happen. It wasn't something that I did overnight,

> but as time went by I learned to avoid the whole

> concept of the idea. Then in Sept. I ended up in the

> ER only to find out that I was preg. but it was a EC

> that had ruptured. I was and still am devestated over

> the thing. I am left with this feeling of being alone

> and not being able to find any reasoning with God as

> to why. I don't think that I have cried so much as I

> have in the past few weeks. No one seems to

> understand what I went through, and therefore I have

> been unable to talk to anyone. Not even the father,

> You see he already had 2 children from a previous

> marriage and doesn't really want anymore. So I can't

> expect him to understand the grief that I am feeling.

> Everyone seems to think that I should be okay by now

> and able to move on with no problem. Today I went for

> a HSG to see if my other tube was blocked and sure

> enough it is also. No one has even has even asked how

> my appointment went.. How can everyone be so cold and

> uncaring to what I am going through? Today just added

> to the devastation of losing my baby that I longed for

> so badly. If anyone has any advice I could sure use

> some. I feel like I am completely falling apart and

> no one really cares.

>

> Sorry that this is so long......

>

> __________________________________________________

>

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sharmalee,

Welcome to the group, hon! I am so sorry for your loss, and even more sorry

that everyone around you has been so indifferent to your loss. :( I am glad

you found the group, and hope that it is helping to get you through this sad

time!

What did you decide about going back to work?

Take care,

Krista

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