Support for a Loved One

[Guest guest]

Hi there. I'm new here and hoping someone can help me find some

support for my 22 year old brother. Bill has been a drug user since

he was 11 years old, very heavy the last couple of years. I'm sure

he's addicted to marijuana, possibly cocaine and at one time was

heavy

into " huffing " , he's tried all the others too, but I don't know if

there's any addiction to other chemicals. Anyways, after finally

having the law catch up with him, he has come to me for help. I am

providing shelter, food, my love & support, transportation to work,

and trying to help with the legal issues. All I am asking in return

is for him to get clean and stay clean; and I truly believe he is

trying his best and that he wants to get clean this time, but he

needs

some support. All we have in our area is NA and CHAD. Bill is

currently participating in CHAD, but is frustrated and ready to give

it up because (1) participation in NA is mandatory-we do not come

from

a religious family, and he is very uncomfortable with the religious

aspect of the group; and (2) they are mandating that he not drink or

even be in or near a bar or party with his family/friends. Bill is

NOT an alcoholic, he barely likes to drink, but he does want to

reserve the right to attend happy hour with his co-workers, have a

beer with my husband after working in the yard, etc. The counselors

tell him no way, his brain can't distinguish between alcohol and

drugs

and he'll just be asking for trouble, and tell me that I'm " enabling "

by allowing this to happen. I don't know what to do. I am a social

drinker and believe in Bill's right to the same. I need some advice

from someone who's been there. If there's anyone reading who has

themselves, or a loved one, successfully been able to overcome a drug

addiction while maintaining the right to drink socially, please

e-mail

me and let me know your experience. CAN Bill overcome his addiction

via the internet, self help, my love & support, etc.???? Or do I

keep

forcing him to go to CHAD/NA, even though I can see the writing on

the

wall (I'm afraid if he drops out because of the religion & drinking

things, that he'll feel like a failure and go right back to where he

was a month ago). Any information/support resources you can give me

for him would be greatly appreciated.