Todd

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Todd, Thank you for this. How true. Leanne Todd Miles wrote: Joyce,I wanted to express to you that I understand your pain and grief. I amnot as advanced in my IPF as you, however have been given the talk by mypulmonoligist that I don't have a death sentence. It sure felt like itat the time.I can identify a small amount however with your friends. Although not areligous person by nature, God has used this disease to give me

greatcomfort. I was on a retreat several weekends ago and had theopportunity to spend a few hours in guided Bible study. In those twohours God gave me a message. As I wrote these words "My life isuncertain, but my future is secure" I knew God had me written on thepalm of His hand.It was such a great sense of security that infused me with wanting to becloser to Him. I see everyday as precious now and look forward totelling others of the peace that God has given me.I have an appt at Duke in April to be evaluated for being listed for alung transplant. I rest in God's hands for that outcome.I admit there is still fear at times but I'll let God run the show. Heseems to be doing such a better job than I can do.Todd Miles, IPF 11/07>>> To

whomever likes to hear me preach.>> Last night a couple whom we have known forever and are among ourclosest> group of friends stopped by to bring leftovers of a big pot luckthingy> that people from our church had....which of course I was not able to> attend. This was a kind, sweet act of kindness and believe me we will> enjoy the food today.>> During the course of conversation, I was telling them that I was inend> stage Pulmonary Fibrosis and Stage IV Severe Pulmonary Hypertension.> That I was experiencing fear and grief. I just wanted them to get it,> to share it and to lift my pain a little. I know that they love me,they> have showed it a hundred ways over the years. They are compassionate> people.>> After spilling my heart out (and I realize that there is not a manualof> what to say to dying people), she said that I shouldn't feel

any> different than anyone else because after all, we are all going to die.> I told her that was true, but they did not have a death sentence. This> is like being on death row and I keep getting my date of execution> extended (for which I am so grateful). But, the emotional roller> coaster and the fear is so overwhelming.>> She said that they were in the same situation of dread because her> husband had survived Prostrate Cancer 11 years ago. Not the samething.> Not even close. He has been cancer free for years and years. How can> you compare.>> It went on and when they left, I was so frustrated. How hard is it to> just say, "I can not understand how you must feel, but I love you andam> praying for you". Don't immediatly minimize my suffering and thinkthat> will make me feel better!>> To you people on this group, I want you to know that this is

where we> come to empty our hearts. It is such a blessing to express grief,dread> and fear....and not worry that someone thinks I am weak or a big old> hypochondriac. Sometimes just writing the words down on paper is sucha> relief. Especially knowing that I am among friends who will not judge> me by what I say on bad days or good days.>> Thank you all for just being here!>> Hugs, Joyce D.>> Pulmonary Fibrosis 1997 Bronchiectasis 2004 Pulmonary Hypertension> 2008 Mixed Connective Tissue Disease (Lupus, RA, Sjogren's, etc)> Rejected for Transplant 2006>> I will not forget you...Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my> hands. Isaiah 49:15-16>

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