Re: Celebrating the Holidays with RA!

[Guest guest]

Kay, it sounds as though your Christmas is going to be wonderful: for

you and your children, and even the neighbors. Kudos to you!

Sue

On Dec 15, 2010, at 3:08 PM, Kay wrote:

> I don't know about everyone else but RA has definitely had a strong

> impact on my holidays this year. Thanksgiving I attempted to do what

> I'd always done in years past. Doing the huge family dinner myself

> with days of prep beforehand, cooking most of the day before, then

> Thanksgiving Day the whole spread for ten people, then after clean-up

> put up my Christmas tree and inside decorations. Big mistake! I was

> down

> for three days afterward.

[Guest guest]

Hi Kay.

 

I so enjoyed your post today.  Like you, I can no longer do all that wonderful

Christmas shopping that I so enjoyed.  I so love to shop!  This year I did my

shopping on line and on E_bay.  I don't have many to buy for as we are a very

small family.  I sent my daughter, son in law and 2 granddaughters a check. 

She got them each the doll I wanted for them and also a disney movies.  They

are 3 and 4.  It saved me mailing packages also.  I told them to get something

they really wanted or needed.  We all find a way to get things done with RA. 

I did put up my small Christmas tree in my B.R. and I am so enjoying it and all

the lights.  I took a few days to wrap the presents and they are now under my

tree.  Christmas is my very favorite holiday.  I live with my son, his fiance

and her son who is 17.   They put a huge real tree on our Lanai so we all

enjoy it.

 

Last year said he didn;t want us to cook a big dinner etc.  So we set up

the table like a Buffet, and I made their fav. dip in a round Pumpernickel bread

with corned beef in it.  Michele baked a cake, I made 2 pies, veg. tray with

dip, fruit bowl, bowl of nuts, peanuts, onion dip and chips, Nacho's, salsa, and

we had a feast.  It was so much easier for me too.  It is funny, we all try to

find a way to enjoy things, and not miss out on anything.  I am not a baker but

boy do those cookies sound wonderful.  Michele is a baker, and she makes cookis

all the time.  funny the things our children miss.  Glad you can do all that

for them and your neighbor.  Perfect.  I know you will have a wonderful

Christmas too.

 

Hugs,

 

Barbara

[Guest guest]

Thank you Sue and Barbara. We all have to find a way to adapt and somehow

make it work. I decided that I wanted to add my grandmother's recipe of old

fashioned chocolate and peanut butter fudge to my list of things to add to my

homemade gift bags, and needed to run out for milk and more sugar so I could get

started this evening. Especially sinse they are predicting a snow storm tonight.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It is sooooo cold out there. Guess what? The fudge isn't

happening tonight. My hands and wrists DO NOT like the cold. So, it looks like

I'm curling up on the sofa, under my warm throw, in front of my Christmas tree,

watching Christmas movies on the idiot box.

Kay

>

> > I don't know about everyone else but RA has definitely had a strong

> > impact on my holidays this year. Thanksgiving I attempted to do what

> > I'd always done in years past. Doing the huge family dinner myself

> > with days of prep beforehand, cooking most of the day before, then

> > Thanksgiving Day the whole spread for ten people, then after clean-up

> > put up my Christmas tree and inside decorations. Big mistake! I was

> > down

> > for three days afterward.

>

[Guest guest]

Wonderful ideas, Kay!

Not an MD

On Wed, Dec 15, 2010 at 2:08 PM, Kay <kay.wilde@...> wrote:

>

> Hi Everyone!

>

>

>

> I don't know about everyone else but RA has definitely had a strong

> impact on my holidays this year. Thanksgiving I attempted to do what

> I'd always done in years past. Doing the huge family dinner myself

> with days of prep beforehand, cooking most of the day before, then

> Thanksgiving Day the whole spread for ten people, then after clean-up

> put up my Christmas tree and inside decorations. Big mistake! I was down

> for three days afterward.

>

>

>

> For the first time ever, I faced Christmas with dread rather than

> excitement. For the first time ever, I had to accept that going out in

> the cold and doing Christmas shopping (something I always enjoyed) was

> out of the question this year. Not to mention that my forced early

> retirement and disability benefits left little money for buying gifts.

>

>

>

> I am fortunate that my children are adults and out on their own, and

> there are no grandchildren to disappoint. However, I had to find a way

> to adapt to my new circumstances, without sacrificing my love for the

> holidays in the process.

>

>

>

> My first concession, my huge Christmas morning breakfast for everyone. I

> found that I was dreading the prospect of a repeat of Thanksgiving. I

> decided that I wasn't going to do it this year. Instead, I'm

> going to bake a ham for sandwiches and a few easy snacks so the children

> can stop in during the day, whenever it is convenient for each of them.

> That way instead of spending all my time on cooking and clean-up, I can

> spend some quality one-on-one time with each of my children. No fuss, no

> mess. I'm actually looking forward to that. Early on Christmas Eve,

> my children are picking me up to go visit my mother and stepfather. Then

> that evening, my daughter's significant other is cooking dinner for

> me and his mother. Just the four of us for a quiet, relaxing evening

> – instead of spending my evening preparing for the Christmas

> breakfast we're not having. I'm really looking forward to that

> one.

>

>

>

> Gift giving: I've spoken to my children and asked them what they

> miss most no longer being at home and the response was unanimous,

> mom's home cooking – the things they haven't been able to

> replicate themselves. Which was saying a lot because my son is an

> executive chef at a country club in the next county. He's a chef,

> but not a baker, who misses my cookies. My daughter who works odd,

> unpredictable hours mentioned my homemade vegetable soup, and chili. So,

> I got to work making up cookie recipes, rolling them into logs and

> putting them in the freezer. I also made huge stock pots of vegetable

> soup and chili, which I put in single serving size bags, sealed with my

> trusty sealer, and also put in the freezer. So, instead of giving my

> children store bought gifts they may or may not like or use, they are

> getting a bit of home, gift bag filled with frozen logs of cookie dough

> (eight kinds of cookies) they can slice and bake, as many as the want,

> when ever they want, hot from their oven, or soup they can pop in the

> microwave or a pan of boiling water.

>

>

>

> The single gentleman who lives across the street has a snow blower and

> does my walk and driveway will also get some soup and a log of cookie

> dough. The same for my mom and stepfather, and a couple of elderly

> neighbors who also live alone, etc. And, I have the added benefit of

> having plenty left in my freezer for myself when I don't feel like

> cooking. You can't get more nutritious than a bowl of homemade

> vegetable soup on a cold winter day.

>

>

>

> By adapting to my current circumstances, doing things that I can do from

> home and pacing myself, I find that I am once again looking forward to

> Christmas this year.

>

>

>

> As you all know I'm also a writer, much slower, but still writing. I

> posted my all time favorite, fast, cheap, and easy cookie recipe on my

> blog for my readers and I'd also like to share it with you. Most of

> the cookie recipes that I made this year are all variations on this one

> simple cake mix cookie recipe. I added peanut butter to a yellow cake

> mix, a box of apple cinnamon oatmeal to the yellow cake mix, nuts to a

> spice cake mix, etc. The options are endless. So for those of you who

> want to check it out, here is the link: http://kaywilde.blogspot.com/

> <http://kaywilde.blogspot.com/>

>

>

>

> I still have a bit of time to come up with other homemade goodies to

> give as gifts so if any of you have other suggestions you'd like to

> share, I'd love to hear them.

>

>

>

> So how has RA affected your holidays? What have you done to adapt to

> your new normal?

>

>

>

> Happy Holidays Everyone!

>

>

>

> Kay

[Guest guest]

A nice end of the day, just perfect.  It is cold in Florida tonight again and

maybe will hit 28. No good at all.

 

I hope your hands feel better tomorrow.  That's why I moved from Cape Cod to

Florida, I could not take the cold anymore.

 

Now that you mentioned peanut butter fudge, I think I will make a batch for

Christmas. Made in a frying pan, so easy and so very tasty!  A very old receipe

from a woman in Maine.

 

Enjoy your nice night and your tree,  I am enjoying my tree so much too.

 

Hugs,

 

Barbara

From: Kay <kay.wilde@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: Celebrating the Holidays with RA!

Date: Wednesday, December 15, 2010, 5:29 PM

 

Thank you Sue and Barbara. We all have to find a way to adapt and somehow

make it work. I decided that I wanted to add my grandmother's recipe of old

fashioned chocolate and peanut butter fudge to my list of things to add to my

homemade gift bags, and needed to run out for milk and more sugar so I could get

started this evening. Especially sinse they are predicting a snow storm tonight.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! It is sooooo cold out there. Guess what? The fudge isn't

happening tonight. My hands and wrists DO NOT like the cold. So, it looks like

I'm curling up on the sofa, under my warm throw, in front of my Christmas tree,

watching Christmas movies on the idiot box.

Kay

>

> > I don't know about everyone else but RA has definitely had a strong

> > impact on my holidays this year. Thanksgiving I attempted to do what

> > I'd always done in years past. Doing the huge family dinner myself

> > with days of prep beforehand, cooking most of the day before, then

> > Thanksgiving Day the whole spread for ten people, then after clean-up

> > put up my Christmas tree and inside decorations. Big mistake! I was

> > down

> > for three days afterward.

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you - While there are a lot of things we might no longer be able to

do because of RA, or at least not to the same degree, it is important for

everyone to know that there are many things we can still do, or at least change

without loosing the enjoyment of the holidays and all it represents. It's also

important for those new to RA to understand that the disease affects all of us

differently, to varying degrees of intensity. It can all be so overwhelming,

especially in the beginning but it does get better, and we're all here to help

in any way we can.

 

Kay

[Guest guest]

Hugs back at you Barbara!

 

Kay

From: Barbara Creedon <bcreedon@...>

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: Celebrating the Holidays with RA!

Date: Wednesday, December 15, 2010, 5:09 PM

 

A nice end of the day, just perfect.  It is cold in Florida tonight again and

maybe will hit 28. No good at all.

 

I hope your hands feel better tomorrow.  That's why I moved from Cape Cod to

Florida, I could not take the cold anymore.

 

Now that you mentioned peanut butter fudge, I think I will make a batch for

Christmas. Made in a frying pan, so easy and so very tasty!  A very old receipe

from a woman in Maine.

 

Enjoy your nice night and your tree,  I am enjoying my tree so much too.

 

Hugs,

 

Barbara

..

[Guest guest]

>

> So how has RA affected your holidays? What have you done to adapt to

> your new normal?

I was actually lying in bed last night feeling stressed about this. We moved

into a new house a few months ago and one thing that I had dreamed about was

making cookies with my daughters in our huge new kitchen. But now that the time

is here just the thought of all the work involved wears me out. I have to work

right up until Christmas eve, so we will need to make cookies either this

weekend or an evening next week. My husband has two Christmas parties this

weekend that he wants us to go to. I want to take the girls to visit Santa. I

don't want to go to the parties *at all*, but feel like I'm letting my husband

down by saying that. I guess my kids will have Christmas traditions that they

will remember in later years, but I'm afraid making Christmas cookies with mom

may not be one of them. I'm afraid their memories will all be mom saying that

she's too tired to do anything with them.

J

[Guest guest]

Hey , no one ever said that they have to be made before Christmas,

make them the week after with your girls.

Here's hoping you have a wonderful holiday.

in PA

On Thu, Dec 16, 2010 at 12:09 PM, oogiejonz <bajones@...> wrote:

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > So how has RA affected your holidays? What have you done to adapt to

> > your new normal?

>

> I was actually lying in bed last night feeling stressed about this. We

> moved into a new house a few months ago and one thing that I had dreamed

> about was making cookies with my daughters in our huge new kitchen. But now

> that the time is here just the thought of all the work involved wears me

> out. I have to work right up until Christmas eve, so we will need to make

> cookies either this weekend or an evening next week. My husband has two

> Christmas parties this weekend that he wants us to go to. I want to take the

> girls to visit Santa. I don't want to go to the parties *at all*, but feel

> like I'm letting my husband down by saying that. I guess my kids will have

> Christmas traditions that they will remember in later years, but I'm afraid

> making Christmas cookies with mom may not be one of them. I'm afraid their

> memories will all be mom saying that she's too tired to do anything with

> them.

>

> J

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

J

I'm sorry you are going through a rough time during the holidays. The most

imoirtant part of the season is sharing special time with family, not the gifts,

decorations, parties, etc. They love you and they will understand. We all know

what it is like when the pain and fatigue hits.

 

Here is a suggestion - why not set aside an evening of watching Christmas movies

together? Have popcorn or order in a pizza? Come up with things that give you

quality one on one time together without sapping your energy. Those are the

things children remember once the season has passed.

 

Hang in there - this too shall pass.

 

Kay

From: oogiejonz <bajones@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: Celebrating the Holidays with RA!

Date: Thursday, December 16, 2010, 9:09 AM

 

>

> So how has RA affected your holidays? What have you done to adapt to

> your new normal?

I was actually lying in bed last night feeling stressed about this. We moved

into a new house a few months ago and one thing that I had dreamed about was

making cookies with my daughters in our huge new kitchen. But now that the time

is here just the thought of all the work involved wears me out. I have to work

right up until Christmas eve, so we will need to make cookies either this

weekend or an evening next week. My husband has two Christmas parties this

weekend that he wants us to go to. I want to take the girls to visit Santa. I

don't want to go to the parties *at all*, but feel like I'm letting my husband

down by saying that. I guess my kids will have Christmas traditions that they

will remember in later years, but I'm afraid making Christmas cookies with mom

may not be one of them. I'm afraid their memories will all be mom saying that

she's too tired to do anything with them.

J

[Guest guest]

-

 

I am not discounting how you feel, but what you feel isn't their fact. Children

know they are loved when they are loved. In finding your new normal, there will

be times of better health and ability. Make the most of those times and do your

best to explain to them. We can only do what we can do and have to let the rest

go at times.

 

After I broke my back, I wasn't a parent, wife, lover or much at all in the way

of human. I was a ball of pain and medication that yelled at my sons ( I am

really ashamed to say ) and wanted to be left alone. It got better at times, and

slowly I found that simply BEING there while they did their thing was really

what they wanted. The rest healed itself ( with many apologies and explanations

) and came a time while I had to lay flat in bed and look at the ceiling-- the

boys decorated Christmas cookies on a cookie sheet right on my belly! They

remember that with love and happiness ( and not a small amount of laughter! ).

 

Kids are more intuitive, strong and resilient than we credit them for. They

remember the good stuff and it usually isn't the stuff that comes with a

pricetag. If you want to spend your time with them taking them to Santa, then do

it. If you want to make cookies instead- do that. Better yet, why not ask them

what they want?

 

I wish you only the best-- in SC

 

I was actually lying in bed last night feeling stressed about this. We moved

into a new house a few months ago and one thing that I had dreamed about was

making cookies with my daughters in our huge new kitchen. But now that the time

is here just the thought of all the work involved wears me out. I have to work

right up until Christmas eve, so we will need to make cookies either this

weekend or an evening next week. My husband has two Christmas parties this

weekend that he wants us to go to. I want to take the girls to visit Santa. I

don't want to go to the parties *at all*, but feel like I'm letting my husband

down by saying that. I guess my kids will have Christmas traditions that they

will remember in later years, but I'm afraid making Christmas cookies with mom

may not be one of them. I'm afraid their memories will all be mom saying that

she's too tired to do anything with them.

J

[Guest guest]

,

How about " cheating " a little bit. Maybe make bar cookies that don't require a

lot of work (that's what I did this year), or maybe get some of the refrigerated

cookie dough and canned frosting. Add some sprinkles and colored sugar and turn

your children loose to decorate.

For them it's the idea of doing something with Mom that's important. Plus it's

lots of fun for them and you!

Betsy in the VI

>

> I was actually lying in bed last night feeling stressed about this. We moved

into a new house a few months ago and one thing that I had dreamed about was

making cookies with my daughters in our huge new kitchen. But now that the time

is here just the thought of all the work involved wears me out. >