Guest guest Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 Hi Sandy, I'm sorry you're down and worrying right now. I think the last thing your friend would want is for people to feel uncomfortable around her from now on. I would just hug her and tell her I love her and that I'm glad she is still here. Has she had anyone to talk about her son with? Someone to listen in a way so that she won't feel weird talking about him. I've heard that it is important for the grieving process. Lynn --- Sandy <melbiscuit5@...> wrote: --------------------------------- I haven't written for awhile because I have been feeling really down. My friend who I have known a long time tried to commit suicide. She said it was from extreme depression, having trouble with her own daughter, and her husbands drinking. (her son died 3 years ago). My daughter who has ocd came to me 2 years with harming thoughts, which is how we found out she has ocd. I use to worry about her and it took along time to realize they were just ocd thoughts. Then this happens and it is like a trigger for all those feelings not counting the feelings I am having about my friend. My dd doesn't know about my friend and her father thinks we should respect the familiy's privacy and not tell her. It is a shameful and embarresing issue for some people. There is a possibility of her hearing something at school, cause as you all know, people do talk. He thinks if she hears and comes to us, then we sit her down and talk about it. I worry how she will take it. I am just so scared she will act on her own suicide thoughts, even though I have been assured she won't because they are ocd thoughts. I never dreamed my friend would try anything like that either! I have never dealt with anything like this before and it is just tearing me up. I want to help my friend, but I don't know what to say. I am mad at her because she tried to do that! Yet I love her and can understand her pain. Thanks for listening. Sandy Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature may be accessed at: / .. Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list moderators are Birkhan, Castle, Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 Lynn, I did hug her and tell her I love her. I have been calling her and trying to get her to walk with me. Through the years she would talk to me about her grief for her son. I always listened. Maybe that is why this shocked me. I remember thinking maybe I should of called her more... She is seeing a counselor now. Sandy -- In , Lynnelle <lynnovale@...> wrote: > > Hi Sandy, > > I'm sorry you're down and worrying right now. > > I think the last thing your friend would want is for > people to feel uncomfortable around her from now on. > I would just hug her and tell her I love her and that > I'm glad she is still here. > > Has she had anyone to talk about her son with? > Someone to listen in a way so that she won't feel > weird talking about him. I've heard that it is > important for the grieving process. > > Lynn > > > > --- Sandy <melbiscuit5@...> wrote: > > > --------------------------------- > I haven't written for awhile because I have been > feeling really down. > My friend who I have known a long time tried to commit > suicide. She > said it was from extreme depression, having trouble > with her own > daughter, and her husbands drinking. (her son died 3 > years ago). My > daughter who has ocd came to me 2 years with harming > thoughts, which > is how we found out she has ocd. I use to worry about > her and it took > along time to realize they were just ocd thoughts. > Then this happens > and it is like a trigger for all those feelings not > counting the > feelings I am having about my friend. My dd doesn't > know about my > friend and her father thinks we should respect the > familiy's privacy > and not tell her. It is a shameful and embarresing > issue for some > people. There is a possibility of her hearing > something at school, > cause as you all know, people do talk. He thinks if > she hears and > comes to us, then we sit her down and talk about it. I > worry how she > will take it. I am just so scared she will act on her > own suicide > thoughts, even though I have been assured she won't > because they are > ocd thoughts. I never dreamed my friend would try > anything like that > either! I have never dealt with anything like this > before and it is > just tearing me up. I want to help my friend, but I > don't know what to > say. I am mad at her because she tried to do that! Yet > I love her and > can understand her pain. Thanks for listening. > Sandy > > > > > > Our list archives, bookmarks, files, and chat feature > may be accessed at: > / > . > Our list advisors are Gail B. , Ed.D., Tamar > Chansky, Ph.D.( http://www.worrywisekids.org ), Dan > Geller, M.D.,Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., ( > http://www.lighthouse-press.com ). Our list > moderators are Birkhan, Castle, > Fowler, Kathy Hammes, Joye, Kathy Mac, > Gail Pesses, and Kathy . Subscription issues > or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list > owner, at louisharkins@... , > louisharkins@... , louisharkins@... . > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 Sorry to hear you are going through this Sandy. I think your daughter is so well supported by you and knowledgeable about managing her ocd that you don't have to add that worry on top of worrying about your friend (but I know you probably can't help it). nancy grace > > I haven't written for awhile because I have been feeling really down. > My friend who I have known a long time tried to commit suicide. She > said it was from extreme depression, having trouble with her own > daughter, and her husbands drinking. (her son died 3 years ago). My > daughter who has ocd came to me 2 years with harming thoughts, which > is how we found out she has ocd. I use to worry about her and it took > along time to realize they were just ocd thoughts. Then this happens > and it is like a trigger for all those feelings not counting the > feelings I am having about my friend. My dd doesn't know about my > friend and her father thinks we should respect the familiy's privacy > and not tell her. It is a shameful and embarresing issue for some > people. There is a possibility of her hearing something at school, > cause as you all know, people do talk. He thinks if she hears and > comes to us, then we sit her down and talk about it. I worry how she > will take it. I am just so scared she will act on her own suicide > thoughts, even though I have been assured she won't because they are > ocd thoughts. I never dreamed my friend would try anything like that > either! I have never dealt with anything like this before and it is > just tearing me up. I want to help my friend, but I don't know what to > say. I am mad at her because she tried to do that! Yet I love her and > can understand her pain. Thanks for listening. > Sandy > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 Hi ! It's so awful being in the midst of the OCD nightmare when there's no control, no therapy/meds yet helping or available and sufferer and family going *mad*! (((hugs))) I would go ahead and search for a therapist. My thought as I read was that by the time you find one (if it's as hard to find one as other areas), his symptoms might be waning but you can either go ahead and begin therapy or at least meet them, have an *in* so that it's someone you can call if there's a next " go-round. " Get rid of the guilt. 3 years and no strep, it wouldn't cross my mind either. Too many other viruses or other to catch. I feel there's a good chance my 3 sons have had strep go undiagnosed too, as I'm not one to take them to the doctor for every little thing meaning they very rarely go. And by " rarely " I mean it might be a couple years between visits. If your son says you are making it worse - well, I heard that from back in his earlier OCD days, so I learned to back off. I might stay in the room, but I backed off. Of course he wasn't sick where he needed tended to either. And, too, I'm one who when sick just want *all* to leave me alone, and that can sometimes mean do not talk to me, just let me suffer, LOL! Maybe your son has a touch of that too. I wonder if the time before bed has to do with some just-right or feel-right issues? Maybe he feels there's not enough time and he doesn't get that *right* feeling he needs before he gets into bed? Wish I could offer some insight or things to try, but I'm just hoping, like you I'm sure, this bout begins to settle down soon! 's OCD came back really strong once with strep (and he's not a PANDAS so far as I know) and it took weeks to settle down. But he did calm back down to mild and better. Vent here any time and keep us updated on how things are going! You all did make it through OCD to some calm times once and those calm times will return!! > > I feel like a really selfish poster because I read these boards all the time > and rarely respond to anyone, though I often relate. And of course feeling > selfish has kept me from posting, because in my world I am the " giver " not the > " needer " . But I am losing it and just need to vent to people who can understand. > > My ds is 10 and diagnosed with PANDAS type OCD at age 6. Went through 7 > strep infections, tonsils removed, ERP/CBT therapy and currently Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2006 Report Share Posted May 2, 2006 I just had to jump in here and say that I get really disappointed when I think someone " gets it " and then says something like this: > But since then, she has said (1) she understands > because it's like what happened to her daughter. Her daughter got > divorced, sorry, not the same as a young child being unable to > function. And (2) she asked my husband the other night whether we > were sure she wasn't doing this for attention. AAAAAGGGGHHHH! Because then you realize that no one really gets it and you are alone once more. Sorry! WE GET IT! :-) Dina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Jill, You wrote " I'm just struggling to figure out if it's OCD and I need to do ERP or if it's anxiety and she needs help with finding the language to describe her feelings and the tools to handle her intense emotions " Sounds like OCD and the anxiety that comes along with it to me. Very similar to my daughter's sensory issues, always peaking when her anxiety spikes, or if she's tired, sick, etc. Why not try the ERP? It won't hurt anything, and can help immensely. would have meltdowns in the midst of all that, too, so I had to tell her it's not acceptable behavior and when she calmed down I would talk with her and help her through it. She hated it when I walked away from her, but it did work...eventually nna. NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 Jill - I think her OCD/anxiety go hand in hand and I think treating the OCD should alleviate the anxiety - I recently thought of brushing but after reading a post here learned all these " sensory issues " that I thought were just that are in fact OCD - so fighting it the way we fight the hand-washing etc is working - I'd say go with the CBT/ERP and I think you'll find wonderful improvement sensory wise good luck!! Eileen Quoting jillschreibman <jillschreibman@...>: > I feel like I'm running from pillar to post and getting nowhere at > times. I've written before about my confusion about what my 4 year > olds diagnosis truly is (thanks to all those who responded last > month). was diagnosed with PANDAS OCD because of a terrible > OCD reaction to strep that eventually remitted when she went on > antibiotics. However, I'm trying to figure out exactly what's going > on for her on a day to day basis and then how best to treat it. She > fits " The Spirited Child " book to a tee. Since school started > again, she gives me a hard time in the mornings- lots of sensory > stuff. Today when I told her she could't change her pants after she > said " they're too loose, too tight, too hot... " she finally ended > with " they're striped and I don't like stripes! " It took everything > in me not to laugh. She wore them to school and was fine once she > realized I wasn't going to change her clothes. When we get to school > she's clingy but then does fine during the day. Everyday when I > pick her up she's happy but as soon as we walk to the car she gets > mad and the sensory stuff kicks in until she makes the transition to > home or the next activity. Some transitions she makes with ease. My > older daughter has sensory integration disorder and I used the > Willburger brushing technique to help with her tactile sensitivity. > But 's sensory issues are different and kick in with > anxiety/anger. At times she'll let other kids touch her things and > shares well and other times (like yesterday) she freaks out and > can't handle a friend sitting on her swing or touching her toys. > Some things are typical 4 year old behavior, just amplified a dozen > times. I'm just struggling to figure out if it's OCD and I need to > do ERP or if it's anxiety and she needs help with finding the > language to describe her feelings and the tools to handle her > intense emotions. Sorry this is so long... I also got a call from > my other daughter's teacher asking me to come in so we can discuss > her " unique learning style " . ARGH, it's so exhausting at times. > Thanks for letting me vent. > > Jill > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 during ERP you walked away or when sensory stuff was causing her to flip out??? the latter I assume???? Eileen Quoting nna <mdonlon@...>: > Jill, > > You wrote " I'm just struggling to figure out if it's OCD and I need to > do ERP or if it's anxiety and she needs help with finding the > language to describe her feelings and the tools to handle her > intense emotions " > > Sounds like OCD and the anxiety that comes along with it to me. Very > similar to my daughter's sensory issues, always peaking when her > anxiety spikes, or if she's tired, sick, etc. Why not try the ERP? > It won't hurt anything, and can help immensely. would have > meltdowns in the midst of all that, too, so I had to tell her it's not > acceptable behavior and when she calmed down I would talk with her and > help her through it. She hated it when I walked away from her, but it > did work...eventually > > nna. > NY > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 21, 2006 Report Share Posted September 21, 2006 We did brushing for awhile, at that point dd only had sensory and feeding issues, along with low muscle tone and endurance. It helped A LOT. It was amazing! I keep thinking we should go back to it. Sharon Re: Need to vent Jill - I think her OCD/anxiety go hand in hand and I think treating the OCD should alleviate the anxiety - I recently thought of brushing but after reading a post here learned all these " sensory issues " that I thought were just that are in fact OCD - so fighting it the way we fight the hand-washing etc is working - I'd say go with the CBT/ERP and I think you'll find wonderful improvement sensory wise good luck!! Eileen Quoting jillschreibman <jillschreibman@...>: > I feel like I'm running from pillar to post and getting nowhere at > times. I've written before about my confusion about what my 4 year > olds diagnosis truly is (thanks to all those who responded last > month). was diagnosed with PANDAS OCD because of a terrible > OCD reaction to strep that eventually remitted when she went on > antibiotics. However, I'm trying to figure out exactly what's going > on for her on a day to day basis and then how best to treat it. She > fits " The Spirited Child " book to a tee. Since school started > again, she gives me a hard time in the mornings- lots of sensory > stuff. Today when I told her she could't change her pants after she > said " they're too loose, too tight, too hot... " she finally ended > with " they're striped and I don't like stripes! " It took everything > in me not to laugh. She wore them to school and was fine once she > realized I wasn't going to change her clothes. When we get to school > she's clingy but then does fine during the day. Everyday when I > pick her up she's happy but as soon as we walk to the car she gets > mad and the sensory stuff kicks in until she makes the transition to > home or the next activity. Some transitions she makes with ease. My > older daughter has sensory integration disorder and I used the > Willburger brushing technique to help with her tactile sensitivity. > But 's sensory issues are different and kick in with > anxiety/anger. At times she'll let other kids touch her things and > shares well and other times (like yesterday) she freaks out and > can't handle a friend sitting on her swing or touching her toys. > Some things are typical 4 year old behavior, just amplified a dozen > times. I'm just struggling to figure out if it's OCD and I need to > do ERP or if it's anxiety and she needs help with finding the > language to describe her feelings and the tools to handle her > intense emotions. Sorry this is so long... I also got a call from > my other daughter's teacher asking me to come in so we can discuss > her " unique learning style " . ARGH, it's so exhausting at times. > Thanks for letting me vent. > > Jill > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2006 Report Share Posted September 22, 2006 We did brushing for awhile, at that point dd only had sensory and feeding issues, along with low muscle tone and endurance. It helped A LOT. It was amazing! I keep thinking we should go back to it. Sharon We began the brushing with but we weren't good about keeping it up so dropped it. I feel it would have helped if we and the school were more consistent with it. At any rate, the occupational therapy really helped with all the sensory issues and just 's whole body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2006 Report Share Posted September 22, 2006 Oh, geez, Eileen, thanks for asking, I should've worded that differently... No, during ERP I would never walk away, but help her focus and calm down with breathing, etc. I would walk away when she was out of control over OCD at other times. Except on school mornings when she had to get on the bus; at times then I would just have to physically get her clothes on and get her out the door! nna. > > during ERP you walked away or when sensory stuff was causing her to > flip out??? the latter I assume???? > Eileen > > > > > > > Quoting nna <mdonlon@...>: > > > Jill, > > > > You wrote " I'm just struggling to figure out if it's OCD and I need to > > do ERP or if it's anxiety and she needs help with finding the > > language to describe her feelings and the tools to handle her > > intense emotions " > > > > Sounds like OCD and the anxiety that comes along with it to me. Very > > similar to my daughter's sensory issues, always peaking when her > > anxiety spikes, or if she's tired, sick, etc. Why not try the ERP? > > It won't hurt anything, and can help immensely. would have > > meltdowns in the midst of all that, too, so I had to tell her it's not > > acceptable behavior and when she calmed down I would talk with her and > > help her through it. She hated it when I walked away from her, but it > > did work...eventually > > > > nna. > > NY > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2006 Report Share Posted September 22, 2006 Thank you all for your responses. had a great day yesterday. I guess I have to learn to appreciate each good moment and not let the bad ones overwhelm me or doom my outlook for both of my kids futures. Thanks, Jill --------------------------------- Get your email and more, right on the new .com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 22, 2006 Report Share Posted September 22, 2006 thanks - I figured as much - I hear you with the physically getting it done yourself sometimes - did good with pants last night during a book and tonight socks during a game - fingers crossed! Eileen Quoting nna <mdonlon@...>: > Oh, geez, Eileen, thanks for asking, I should've worded that > differently... > > No, during ERP I would never walk away, but help her focus and calm > down with breathing, etc. I would walk away when she was out of > control over OCD at other times. Except on school mornings when she > had to get on the bus; at times then I would just have to physically > get her clothes on and get her out the door! > > nna. > > >> >> during ERP you walked away or when sensory stuff was causing her to >> flip out??? the latter I assume???? >> Eileen >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Quoting nna <mdonlon@...>: >> >> > Jill, >> > >> > You wrote " I'm just struggling to figure out if it's OCD and I need to >> > do ERP or if it's anxiety and she needs help with finding the >> > language to describe her feelings and the tools to handle her >> > intense emotions " >> > >> > Sounds like OCD and the anxiety that comes along with it to me. Very >> > similar to my daughter's sensory issues, always peaking when her >> > anxiety spikes, or if she's tired, sick, etc. Why not try the ERP? >> > It won't hurt anything, and can help immensely. would have >> > meltdowns in the midst of all that, too, so I had to tell her it's not >> > acceptable behavior and when she calmed down I would talk with her and >> > help her through it. She hated it when I walked away from her, but it >> > did work...eventually >> > >> > nna. >> > NY >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 23, 2006 Report Share Posted September 23, 2006 jill it's tough not to at times - hang in :-) Eileen Quoting Jill Schreibman <jillschreibman@...>: > Thank you all for your responses. had a great day yesterday. > I guess I have to learn to appreciate each good moment and not let > the bad ones overwhelm me or doom my outlook for both of my kids > futures. > Thanks, > Jill > > > --------------------------------- > Get your email and more, right on the new .com > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2006 Report Share Posted November 19, 2006 Dave, I understand what you're talking about. You want to help, but it's a physical issue. I haven't worked in a year and a half, so my neighbor came up with what she thought was an answer to our financial problems . Because I'm a nurse, she figured the perfect thing for me would be to start caring for the elderly lady down the street while the family went to work. The point is, I (and you ) can't work because we're injured. Whether it's in the house or at a job. You can't be picking up or pulling on an elderly person. You might further injure yourself, and you might not be able to handle her because of loss of strength and/or pain, and she could end up on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Also, we don't have the stamina we used to when we felt good! Some churches and local senior centers have volunteers who will go out and stay while the caretaker does errands. Also, doesn't medicare pay for sitters. Good luck to you. What a difficult situation. Dee --------------------------------- Sponsored Link Don't quit your job - take classes online and earn your degree in 1 year. Start Today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2006 Report Share Posted November 19, 2006 Dave, I understand what you're talking about. You want to help, but it's a physical issue. I haven't worked in a year and a half, so my neighbor came up with what she thought was an answer to our financial problems . Because I'm a nurse, she figured the perfect thing for me would be to start caring for the elderly lady down the street while the family went to work. The point is, I (and you ) can't work because we're injured. Whether it's in the house or at a job. You can't be picking up or pulling on an elderly person. You might further injure yourself, and you might not be able to handle her because of loss of strength and/or pain, and she could end up on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Also, we don't have the stamina we used to when we felt good! Some churches and local senior centers have volunteers who will go out and stay while the caretaker does errands. Also, doesn't medicare pay for sitters. Good luck to you. What a difficult situation. Dee --------------------------------- Sponsored Link Don't quit your job - take classes online and earn your degree in 1 year. Start Today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 17, 2006 Report Share Posted December 17, 2006 i hope things have worked out since you wrote this dave. sorry i missed it. i can kinda relate; my wife just sits here all day and isnt diagnosed with anything leaving me to take care of her and the kids and the house; and then i get yelled at for doing things wrong etc.... this has been going on since her car accident. eveery week, " ill get a job " two weeks later " ill get a job this week " , i just shake my head now. im going in for surgery jan 16th ill probably have to take care of the kids right after surgery too. i dont know what to say; except that im tired too buddy, and i know it hurts everywhere physically and mentally. take care brother rob No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know no one cares or understands. >From: Cruikshank <d.cruikshank@...> >Reply-neck pain >neck pain >Subject: need to vent >Date: Sun, 19 Nov 2006 21:06:42 -0500 > >Sorry I just need to vent, and maybe someone can relate. My wife and I >live with my mother-in-law, since I can't work and I am awaiting SSI. My >Wife works full time and is trying to support us, but it is not enough to >have our own place. a little over two week ago my grandmother-in-law came >to stay for a week. That has turned into over two, at least until >Christmas, and maybe for the rest of her life. She's 92 and sweet, but >needs watched over because she comes from a single story house and here she >has to navigate 15 steps 2X a day. She also won't eat, unless you remind >her etc. Other than that she is pretty self sufficient. I have >compassion, plenty of it. But without talking it over, I guess my >mother-in-law has decided, I don't work, so I can watch grandma while she >works or runs errands. It's become an almost dawn to dusk every day >affair. She repeats herself endlessly, and really just wants to go >home. I can't rest, I can't leave, I can't get anything done, because I >won't leave her alone and have a broken hip or a burn on my watch. But my >depression just deepens everyday. Since we can't afford to pay rent I feel >like I'm stuck between the rock and the hardplace. Many nights I don't >sleep and with the cold weather my pain has increased. Some days it's >really all I can do to take care of myself, but I don't think my M.I.L. >understands. Also she is a Tax preparer and is taking classes and will >work solid up until 4-15-2007, so she really can't stay and tend to her. O >well, I'm going to loose myself in " Cold Case and Without a Trace " Today >has been day 3 of 10 hour days watching over grandma. I need a break. > >Dave > _________________________________________________________________ MSN Shopping has everything on your holiday list. Get expert picks by style, age, and price. Try it! http://shopping.msn.com/content/shp/?ctId=8000,ptnrid=176,ptnrdata=200601 & tcode=\ wlmtagline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 19, 2006 Report Share Posted December 19, 2006 i know how you feel. i have been in that situation with ssi. sorry you are so aggravated. hope everything works out. evelynBubbles <jennd@...> wrote: Hey everyone, How's everyone doing? I needed to vent and figured that a lot of you might understand what I'm pissed about. OK, as you all know, I am a single parent. My daughter lives with her father, but I am responsible for my two boys. I get no child support for the boys. I am currently on social security. My mom contacted social security because of some problems with how much I should be getting and they claim they have overpaid me over $800! Man I am so mad. I do contract work here and there when necessary to make sure my children have clothes and food, and make sure my bills are paid. My rent is $425, which takes majority of my social security check. Due to my felony, I don't qualify for rental assistance for another two years. Grrrrr I am sooooo mad! -- Best regards, Gilbertson *~*Bubbles*~* AIM: bubbles4you06 MSN: mocabubbliciousmsn : mocabubblicious "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think" -La Bruyere __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2006 Report Share Posted December 23, 2006 > > Hey everyone, > > How's everyone doing? I needed to vent and figured that a lot of you might understand what I'm pissed about. OK, as you all know, I am a single parent. My daughter lives with her father, but I am responsible for my two boys. I get no child support for the boys. I am currently on social security. My mom contacted social security because of some problems with how much I should be getting and they claim they have overpaid me over $800! Man I am so mad. I do contract work here and there when necessary to make sure my children have clothes and food, and make sure my bills are paid. My rent is $425, which takes majority of my social security check. Due to my felony, I don't qualify for rental assistance for another two years. Grrrrr I am sooooo mad! > > -- > Best regards, > Gilbertson > *~*Bubbles*~* > AIM: bubbles4you06 > MSN: mocabubblicious@... > : mocabubblicious > > " Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think " > -La Bruyere >Hi my name is i have been there i owe ssi 1097 dollars I got the letter the week after i loss my jobs You can set up smaller payments with ssi I Wish you all the best i was never able to have kids but i know it is hard to get them all they want and need God Bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2006 Report Share Posted December 23, 2006 Well since we are venting tonight. I might just as well join in. I quite my job tonight at THE FAMILY DOLLAR STORE. So after Christmas, I will apply for unemployment. BVR (Beaureau For Vocational Rehabilitation), will help with finding another job. I liked working at the store. But our head manager walked off the job. We have an assisant manager, who is trying her wings as head manager. One thing she did, was to write me up for being late for work one day this week. She changed the schedule, after another cashier quit. She made up the new schedule on my day off, and didn't feel the need to let me know. Another thing she did was to give a new cashier my day time hr. The new cashier, hasn't even been there for a week. The hrly pay was to go up in January, and our hrs were to be cut the day after Christmas. Sue For a REALLY HOT time check out http://www.peternoone.com and http://www.mikesmith1964.com Re: Need to vent >> Hey everyone,> > How's everyone doing? I needed to vent and figured that a lot ofyou might understand what I'm pissed about. OK, as you all know, I ama single parent. My daughter lives with her father, but I amresponsible for my two boys. I get no child support for the boys. I amcurrently on social security. My mom contacted social security becauseof some problems with how much I should be getting and they claim theyhave overpaid me over $800! Man I am so mad. I do contract work hereand there when necessary to make sure my children have clothes andfood, and make sure my bills are paid. My rent is $425, which takesmajority of my social security check. Due to my felony, I don'tqualify for rental assistance for another two years. Grrrrr I amsooooo mad!> > -- > Best regards,> Gilbertson> *~*Bubbles*~ *> AIM: bubbles4you06> MSN: mocabubblicious@ ...> : mocabubblicious> > "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think"> -La Bruyere>Hi my name is i have been there i owe ssi 1097 dollars I got the letter the weekafter i loss my jobs You can set up smaller payments with ssi I Wishyou all the best i was never able to have kids but i know it is hardto get them all they want and needGod Bless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2006 Report Share Posted December 23, 2006 Sue, That sounds like you have gotten yourself out of a bad situation. Good for you! Dinkins-Borkowski; Nolan(4) nocf, Phoebe(2) Ds & Cf Phoebe's Video: http://www.active.com/donate/buddywalk2006/phight4phoebe Get Phoebe-Chic: http://www.cafepress.com/phoebesphight Re: Need to vent >> Hey everyone,> > How's everyone doing? I needed to vent and figured that a lot ofyou might understand what I'm pissed about. OK, as you all know, I ama single parent. My daughter lives with her father, but I amresponsible for my two boys. I get no child support for the boys. I amcurrently on social security. My mom contacted social security becauseof some problems with how much I should be getting and they claim theyhave overpaid me over $800! Man I am so mad. I do contract work hereand there when necessary to make sure my children have clothes andfood, and make sure my bills are paid. My rent is $425, which takesmajority of my social security check. Due to my felony, I don'tqualify for rental assistance for another two years. Grrrrr I amsooooo mad!> > -- > Best regards,> Gilbertson> *~*Bubbles*~ *> AIM: bubbles4you06> MSN: mocabubblicious@ ...> : mocabubblicious> > "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think"> -La Bruyere>Hi my name is i have been there i owe ssi 1097 dollars I got the letter the weekafter i loss my jobs You can set up smaller payments with ssi I Wishyou all the best i was never able to have kids but i know it is hardto get them all they want and needGod Bless __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2007 Report Share Posted April 15, 2007 Hi Angel, I totally understand. In fact I have been in that situation twice. Once my oldest who has adhd was kicking the wall. I didn't notice because as a mom I learn how to tune things out. I was out to eat with a couple of my friends. Well the woman turns around and starts complaining. And I went off on her. And she said I should train my child. I told her my son is not an animal and we went back and forth and let me tell you we both were loud and the manager came to the table. The next time was at a circus. My youngest was kicking a chair and the man turned around and asked him to stop. I told him I am sorry but he is autistic and I will certianly try to keep him from kicking the chair. Then he got up and moved. I don't understand the big deal as the kids behind me were kicking my chair and I didn't get upset. Yeah I undertand it's annoying but don't you expect stuff like that especially at a circus with a bunch of kids. I understand how your feeling to with your friends. Some people just don't understand what it's like to have special needs kids. Glad you could vent. Hopefully you feel better!! Stacie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2007 Report Share Posted April 15, 2007 Angel, Wow, I am so sorry you went through that. My two year old twins were just diagnosed with Autism and we've experienced a few glances here and there, but we've been very lucky so far. In my childhood, we were all Neurotypical. Whenever my mother (a fiery redhead) saw someone look at her children in a less than pleasant manner, for whatever reason, she would stick her tongue out at them and say " What are YOU looking at? " . LOL. I know it's childish, but it always did the trick....they never said anything (probably because it was so unexpected to see a mature woman do such a thing, that they'd go into shock. LOL) However, I know this is no laughing matter and sometimes it infuriates me how ignorant and self absorbed some people can be! In fact, there are times, before my children's diagnosis and before I learned more about Autism, that I shamefully admit I was like them, too. All we can do is keep educating the others out there, and perhaps bite our tongue and do it with tact and grace, so that what we are teaching them might stick. It's good to be part of a group where you can vent like this and where we can all understand and support one another. Blessings, On 4/13/07, Angel <manicmom4@...> wrote: I have had it with " friends " yeah if you were really my friends you would understand that my kids are part of the package, why can't people treat us halfway normal? I took the kids out to eat, they wanted pizza, so we went to Godfathers, we order and go sit down in a booth, to which Jake ( 2 yr old autistic) begins to stim (self stimulation) with his usual drone noise. This apparently upsets the family at the table next to us, they give us nastly looks and move to the other side of the restraunt, whatever right? well then the family in the booth in front of us has an issue, the father goes to the other side to search for an open table while the mother turns around, hangs over the booth and tells me I need to learn to control my kid, to which I loudly remark " he is autistic, what the hell is YOUR excuse? " to which she turns back around in a huff, but then all eyes are on us and the whispers begin. Our food comes, I am feeling uncomfortable so I hurry the kids through thier meal, and we exit the building, with everyone staring and making comments as we go. then we go over to my school to take in a play a friend of ours is going to be in, we get there 10 minutes early and the first play is still underway, so we were gonna wait in the hall, until the dorector tells us we need to go to another part of the building until the play we were there to see begins because there are " sensitive material in this play " ...........so we go to another part of the building and we run into the friend we were there to watch, and she suggests we just go home, which we did, and I got undressed in jammies and put the kids to bed, I was going to take a hot bath, but I just don't feel like doing much of anything except throw myself under the nearest semi-truck! Seriously I have 3 friends that can handle being around my kids with out getting nasty to them, the rest of my " friends " ask me " why can't they just be normal? " WHY? cause they can't be, it is no physiologically possible for them, 1 has aspergers and bipolar, the other has bipolar and the youngest is autistic, how HARD is that to understand...............I feel like I am supposed to be a hermit, keep my " un-normal " kids out of the public, only go out when the kids can be left home with a sitter, WTF. why are we not enitiled to the same family outings as others, why do people have to be so freakin hurtful and ignorant?Thanks for letting me vent, I just need someone who understands ~Angel -- Quote of the Day: " If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars. " ~ Rabindranath Tagore Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2007 Report Share Posted April 15, 2007 Hi Angel, Gosh when I read this I felt as if you were talking about me. I go through similar situations. Although it's not as bad as it used to be. I don't know why I let it get to me but it's worse with strangers. You'd think with so much awareness out there and stuff on TV about Autism that people would know how to act when they see a child like ours in public. My 6 yr. old son has Autism and alot of sensory issues. He used to love going to restraunts and had no problem until about 6 months ago. Now I can't even take him into a restraunt. He screams and flips out when we get inside the door. I don't know what changed. I just quit doing it. I did try about a month ago to take him again. I managed to get him into the booth where the server seated us but had to leave. He threw a fit and wouldn't sit down, screamed and cried, it was awful. His school class takes field trips and they always go to Mcs or somewhere. We always stay home that day. I feel for you so much. When people act that way you just have to understand it's ignorance on their part. I Do like your comment you made to the lady, but you know what? WE shouldn't have to explain ourselves or our children. And if your friends don't understand then maybe their not truely your friends. Hate to say that. Have you told them how they make you feel when they say stuff like that? I sure would. Instead of making nasty comments to you they should offer to help you. Hope it gets better for you and me both. > > I have had it with " friends " yeah if you were really my friends you > would understand that my kids are part of the package, why can't > people treat us halfway normal? I took the kids out to eat, they > wanted pizza, so we went to Godfathers, we order and go sit down in a > booth, to which Jake ( 2 yr old autistic) begins to stim (self > stimulation) with his usual drone noise. This apparently upsets the > family at the table next to us, they give us nastly looks and move to > the other side of the restraunt, whatever right? well then the family > in the booth in front of us has an issue, the father goes to the > other side to search for an open table while the mother turns around, > hangs over the booth and tells me I need to learn to control my kid, > to which I loudly remark " he is autistic, what the hell is YOUR > excuse? " to which she turns back around in a huff, but then all eyes > are on us and the whispers begin. Our food comes, I am feeling > uncomfortable so I hurry the kids through thier meal, and we exit the > building, with everyone staring and making comments as we go. > > then we go over to my school to take in a play a friend of ours is > going to be in, we get there 10 minutes early and the first play is > still underway, so we were gonna wait in the hall, until the dorector > tells us we need to go to another part of the building until the play > we were there to see begins because there are " sensitive material in > this play " ...........so we go to another part of the building and we > run into the friend we were there to watch, and she suggests we just > go home, which we did, and I got undressed in jammies and put the > kids to bed, I was going to take a hot bath, but I just don't feel > like doing much of anything except throw myself under the nearest > semi-truck! > > Seriously I have 3 friends that can handle being around my kids with > out getting nasty to them, the rest of my " friends " ask me " why can't > they just be normal? " > > WHY? cause they can't be, it is no physiologically possible for them, > 1 has aspergers and bipolar, the other has bipolar and the youngest > is autistic, how HARD is that to understand...............I feel like > I am supposed to be a hermit, keep my " un-normal " kids out of the > public, only go out when the kids can be left home with a sitter, > WTF. why are we not enitiled to the same family outings as others, > why do people have to be so freakin hurtful and ignorant? > > Thanks for letting me vent, I just need someone who understands > ~Angel > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2007 Report Share Posted April 15, 2007 angel, go ahead and vent away .god i know why cant people just understand. what is worse i have seen nt kids act worse than mine who are mr and autistic.it is like they honestly think they are perfect and we arent.ive had to leave my sons band concert to drop off my kids to be watched by my sister just to see the show with out looks from people.but what was bad a few weeks before they had another a concert and another lil girl (nt) was rnning around singing and in front of people those people at that concert thoguth how adorble .ugh. wished i had soem good advice for you but i dont same boat here.my friends understand though it is the family that dont understand ..well im sorry you had to go through that.i wish you luck on finding a good time out with out people being jerks. vickie need to vent I have had it with "friends" yeah if you were really my friends you would understand that my kids are part of the package, why can't people treat us halfway normal? I took the kids out to eat, they wanted pizza, so we went to Godfathers, we order and go sit down in a booth, to which Jake ( 2 yr old autistic) begins to stim (self stimulation) with his usual drone noise. This apparently upsets the family at the table next to us, they give us nastly looks and move to the other side of the restraunt, whatever right? well then the family in the booth in front of us has an issue, the father goes to the other side to search for an open table while the mother turns around, hangs over the booth and tells me I need to learn to control my kid, to which I loudly remark "he is autistic, what the hell is YOUR excuse?" to which she turns back around in a huff, but then all eyes are on us and the whispers begin. Our food comes, I am feeling uncomfortable so I hurry the kids through thier meal, and we exit the building, with everyone staring and making comments as we go. then we go over to my school to take in a play a friend of ours is going to be in, we get there 10 minutes early and the first play is still underway, so we were gonna wait in the hall, until the dorector tells us we need to go to another part of the building until the play we were there to see begins because there are "sensitive material in this play"....... ....so we go to another part of the building and we run into the friend we were there to watch, and she suggests we just go home, which we did, and I got undressed in jammies and put the kids to bed, I was going to take a hot bath, but I just don't feel like doing much of anything except throw myself under the nearest semi-truck! Seriously I have 3 friends that can handle being around my kids with out getting nasty to them, the rest of my "friends" ask me "why can't they just be normal?"WHY? cause they can't be, it is no physiologically possible for them, 1 has aspergers and bipolar, the other has bipolar and the youngest is autistic, how HARD is that to understand.. ......... ....I feel like I am supposed to be a hermit, keep my "un-normal" kids out of the public, only go out when the kids can be left home with a sitter, WTF. why are we not enitiled to the same family outings as others, why do people have to be so freakin hurtful and ignorant?Thanks for letting me vent, I just need someone who understands ~Angel Ahhh...imagining that irresistible "new car" smell? Check out new cars at Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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