Re: Re: Emotional Issues

[Guest guest]

i too know the everyday feeling of tiredness and pain. when i wake up

every morning, i know what the day will be. its getting worse with me,

but, .... i'll be 69 this next month (dec. 25th), so i guess i'm

supposed to be feeling more worn out...lol... its a hard battle we

all go thru tho....

god bless you all,

hugs,

betty

[Guest guest]

Betsy,

I feel the same as you do.  I'm too young to file for Disability (49 yrs old),

but I was forced to quit my job because I could no longer function well enough

on a day to day basis.  I've been trying to find a job, but am getting no call

backs as I'm over qualified for the positions I'm applying to. I don't know how

to let these prospective employers know that this is what I want now.  I don't

need a high stress, long hours position anymore as my body can not  handle it.

Heidi in Denver

[Guest guest]

You can file for Disability at any age, it's based on your condition 'cause

we're all too young to deal with this disease .

Stan

Seattle, cloudy.

Betsy,

I feel the same as you do.  I'm too young to file for Disability (49 yrs old),

but I was forced to quit my job because I could no longer function well enough

on a day to day basis.  I've been trying to find a job, but am getting no call

backs as I'm over qualified for the positions I'm applying to. I don't know how

to let these prospective employers know that this is what I want now.  I don't

need a high stress, long hours position anymore as my body can not  handle it.

Heidi in Denver

[Guest guest]

Hi Kay.

 

I am so glad you posted your beautiful letter today.  I am thrilled you are

back writing and life is good for you.  I am sure your letter will impact many

members here.  Life is finally good for you and you so deserve it.

 

You continue to do good and feel good.  I am just so happy for you Chris.

 

Hugs,

 

Barbara

From: Kay <kay.wilde@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: Emotional Issues

Date: Tuesday, November 30, 2010, 2:51 PM

 

Hi Everyone,

I know it has been a long time since my last post. But I have been following the

group and reading everyone's posts. I've seen that there are a lot of new

members, many who are going through some really rough times. It's sad that we

don't have to worry only about how RA is affecting our bodies, but our lives in

general. We have to deal with family, friends, even employers who don't

understand exactly what RA is and how it has impacted our lives as well as our

bodies.

So, after reading the posts from those of you who seem to be in the same dark

place I'm just finding my way out of, I decided it was time to give you all an

update on where I'm at. If you remember, the last time I posted I'd just lost my

job and my health insurance and had just started to long and stressful

Disability process. I'd been told by my attorney that in my state, the waiting

time to get a hearing was at least three years. I really, really tried to hold

onto my sense of humor but seeing no light at the end of the tunnel for so long,

even that deserted me. I'm single with adult children, and living alone. My only

source of income was gone and I was forced to rely on my children to help me

financially.

Books had always been a source of comfort for me, my mental escape when things

got rough. I was also a writer who couldn't write because my wrists and hands

were hit the hardest and most of the time refused to cooperate, not to mention

the pain. I couldn't read because it hurt too much to hold a book for any length

of time and I couldn't stay focused long enough to read. I felt that RA had

taken away everything that mattered to me. I saw myself as an emotional and

financial burden to my children. In short, I found myself in a very dark place

for a very long time, and had all but given up.

I honestly believe that reading posts from this group, knowing that I wasn't

alone was the only thing that got me through it.

But, things can and do get better. I discovered that by losing my job and not

being forced to push myself day in and day out for fear of losing that job (as a

secretary), the pain in my hands and wrists had improved. My disability was

approved. My attorney said he had never gotten anyone approved so quickly. No

doubt my age, my great family doctor and careful medical records were strong

points in my favor. But nevertheless, less than a year after I applied, it was

approved. The benefits I receive aren't great. My monthly income has been cut by

more than half but it pays the mortgage and utilities.

Shortly after I joined this group, someone posted something that I hadn't

forgotten. It's been along time and the words aren't the same, but the message

is still there. " We all want things to get back to normal. But the RA isn't

going to go away. We have to find our new normal and make it work for us. " So,

for who ever wrote that post – THANK YOU! It has taken me a while, but that is

what I've done. I'm back. I still have a long way to go but I'm getting there!

I discovered that all the pain medication I was on contributed to the mental

fog. Not working, I was able to cut back on the prescription pain meds and for

the most part go back to OTC, except on really, really, bad days. I have to pace

myself but I am writing again. No more long writing sessions like I used to put

in, writing when my hands allow, stopping to rest when it becomes painful. My

typing is terrible but that is what spellchecker and proof readers are for. If

and when my hands get worse and I can no longer type at all, I'll go with the

voice recognition software (also learned about on this group). And, then I

learned that Amazon now allowed authors to put their own work up for sale as

Kindle ebooks. My previously published stories were just sitting on my computer

doing nothing for me so I figured I had nothing to lose by giving it a shot and

maybe generate a little extra income in the process. Who knows? At the very

least, it has given me back

a bit of control in an important part of my life, my reason to get up each

morning.

The point I'm trying to make is that RA affects us all in different ways, in

varying degrees. The various medications will affect each one of us differently.

What works for one might not work for another, or the side effects, if any, will

be different. That information can all be found here, shared by someone.

But, in many ways we are all the same – our health, our bodies, our lives, and

our personal relationships have all been impacted by this terrible disease.

Somehow, someway, we all have to hang in there and find that new normal and make

it work. We have to focus on positive things we still have in our lives, rather

than what we feel we've lost. And when things get rough, it's important to have

some place where we can share with others in the same position. We need to know

that we are not alone, that there are others out there who have been where you

are, someone who will listen and understand exactly what you are going through.

For me, it was this group of wonderful caring people. You have all done more to

get the through that dark patch than you can begin to imagine.

I don't think realizes what wonderful thing she has done for all us with

this group … giving us a safe haven to turn to. Not to mention all valuable

information she provides. So, for – Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

Kay

[Guest guest]

The voice recognition software is really good, Kay. I use it all the time.

It takes a while to get used to, and it doesn't seem that great at first,

but it adjusts to your voice over time and gets more and more accurate. I

highly recommend it. I use it for my writing and I would never be able to

write if I didn't have it. So don't lose hope, you will always be able to

write. As for the books, I have the same problem. I have found that if I

stick to hardcovers, I can hold them open on the table and only turn the

pages. That helps. Also, if you have a paperback, you can crack the spine

and do the same thing. I am always reluctant to do that, because it kind of

ruins the book, but after all, books are meant to be read!

I'm glad you are keeping up a good attitude. I hope things improve for you,

and I am always hear as a fellow writer (or attempted writer, I am still a

beginner) to give you encouragement if you need it!

Cheapest dragon dictation software on the web on Amazon (I have version 10)

http://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8 & keywords=dragon+naturally & tag=googhydr-20 & index\

=aps & hvadid=4341972359 & ref=pd_sl_8xbt882zqk_b

BTW, congratulations on the Disibility. I have it too and its a godsend.

[Guest guest]

Hi Kay.

It is so wonderful to have our lives back again. Life is truly for the living.

This all gives us hope.

You take care and enjoy each day as a gift. I sure do. I am grateful to be

alive and doing so well.

The last 2 years have been very rough, seeing my 30 year marriage end and

starting my life over at 70.

I am truly doing good, living with my som and his family, loving life, and

volunteering at the animal shelter. I just take one day at a time as that is

all I can handle.

Stay well and enjoy your new life. Happy reading as I so love to read also.

Hugs,

Barbara

From: Kay <kay.wilde@...>

Subject: [ ] Re: Emotional Issues

Date: Tuesday, November 30, 2010, 4:08 PM

 

Thank you Barbara!

I still have a long way to go but I'm getting there. I'm still without

insurance, and had to stop seeing my Rheumatologist because I could no longer

afford her, but I have a great family doctor who sees me at a very low rate. And

for now, the plaquinil and prednisone combo seem to be working and they're

affordable. My medicare will kick in in eleven months so if I can stay out of

the hospital until then I'll be okay.

I just want those new to RA to understand that we all get overwhelmed,

especially in the beginning, I think that is a perfectly normal reaction. It

seems like no one in our lives understand what we're going through. The sad

thing is, unless they've been there themselves, there is no way they can. Having

your life spin totally out of your control leaves you with such a such a lost,

hopeless and helpless feeling.

In all honesty, I'd gone from seeing myself as a burden to my adult children who

had their own lives to live, and hoarding sleeping pills one week, to things

starting to turn around the next. It can and does get better. You just have to

hang in there long enough to give it a chance to improve.

Kay

>

> Hi Kay.

>  

> I am so glad you posted your beautiful letter today.  I am thrilled you are

back writing and life is good for you.  I am sure your letter will impact

many members here.  Life is finally good for you and you so deserve it.

>  

> You continue to do good and feel good.  I am just so happy for you Chris.

>  

> Hugs,

>  

> Barbara

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kay,

It is wonderful to read that you are moving away from that " dark

place " and that you are able to enjoy more reading and writing. I'm

sure your words will bring comfort to others.

The credit for establishing our group really rests with our founder

a. She hasn't been able to be with us for the last few years, but

it is my hope that she will someday return. I am happy to try to keep

the group going.

Not an MD

On Tue, Nov 30, 2010 at 1:51 PM, Kay <kay.wilde@...> wrote:

> Hi Everyone,

>

> I know it has been a long time since my last post. But I have been following

the group and reading everyone's posts. I've seen that there are a lot of new

members, many who are going through some really rough times. It's sad that we

don't have to worry only about how RA is affecting our bodies, but our lives in

general. We have to deal with family, friends, even employers who don't

understand exactly what RA is and how it has impacted our lives as well as our

bodies.

>

> So, after reading the posts from those of you who seem to be in the same dark

place I'm just finding my way out of, I decided it was time to give you all an

update on where I'm at. If you remember, the last time I posted I'd just lost my

job and my health insurance and had just started to long and stressful

Disability process. I'd been told by my attorney that in my state, the waiting

time to get a hearing was at least three years. I really, really tried to hold

onto my sense of humor but seeing no light at the end of the tunnel for so long,

even that deserted me. I'm single with adult children, and living alone. My only

source of income was gone and I was forced to rely on my children to help me

financially.

>

> Books had always been a source of comfort for me, my mental escape when things

got rough. I was also a writer who couldn't write because my wrists and hands

were hit the hardest and most of the time refused to cooperate, not to mention

the pain. I couldn't read because it hurt too much to hold a book for any length

of time and I couldn't stay focused long enough to read. I felt that RA had

taken away everything that mattered to me. I saw myself as an emotional and

financial burden to my children. In short, I found myself in a very dark place

for a very long time, and had all but given up.

>

> I honestly believe that reading posts from this group, knowing that I wasn't

alone was the only thing that got me through it.

>

> But, things can and do get better. I discovered that by losing my job and not

being forced to push myself day in and day out for fear of losing that job (as a

secretary), the pain in my hands and wrists had improved.  My disability was

approved. My attorney said he had never gotten anyone approved so quickly. No

doubt my age, my great family doctor and careful medical records were strong

points in my favor. But nevertheless, less than a year after I applied, it was

approved. The benefits I receive aren't great. My monthly income has been cut by

more than half but it pays the mortgage and utilities.

>

> Shortly after I joined this group, someone posted something that I hadn't

forgotten. It's been along time and the words aren't the same, but the message

is still there. " We all want things to get back to normal. But the RA isn't

going to go away. We have to find our new normal and make it work for us. " So,

for who ever wrote that post – THANK YOU! It has taken me a while, but that is

what I've done. I'm back. I still have a long way to go but I'm getting there!

>

> I discovered that all the pain medication I was on contributed to the mental

fog. Not working, I was able to cut back on the prescription pain meds and for

the most part go back to OTC, except on really, really, bad days. I have to pace

myself but I am writing again. No more long writing sessions like I used to put

in, writing when my hands allow, stopping to rest when it becomes painful. My

typing is terrible but that is what spellchecker and proof readers are for. If

and when my hands get worse and I can no longer type at all, I'll go with the

voice recognition software (also learned about on this group). And, then I

learned that Amazon now allowed authors to put their own work up for sale as

Kindle ebooks. My previously published stories were just sitting on my computer

doing nothing for me so I figured I had nothing to lose by giving it a shot and

maybe generate a little extra income in the process. Who knows? At the very

least, it has given me back a bit of control in an important part of my life, my

reason to get up each morning.

>

> The point I'm trying to make is that RA affects us all in different ways, in

varying degrees. The various medications will affect each one of us differently.

What works for one might not work for another, or the side effects, if any, will

be different. That information can all be found here, shared by someone.

>

> But, in many ways we are all the same – our health, our bodies, our lives, and

our personal relationships have all been impacted by this terrible disease.

Somehow, someway, we all have to hang in there and find that new normal and make

it work. We have to focus on positive things we still have in our lives, rather

than what we feel we've lost. And when things get rough, it's important to have

some place where we can share with others in the same position. We need to know

that we are not alone, that there are others out there who have been where you

are, someone who will listen and understand exactly what you are going through.

For me, it was this group of wonderful caring people. You have all done more to

get the through that dark patch than you can begin to imagine.

>

> I don't think realizes what wonderful thing she has done for all us with

this group … giving us a safe haven to turn to. Not to mention all valuable

information she provides. So, for – Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

>

> Kay

[Guest guest]

Thank you , and a. I hope a will someday be able to rejoin us. I'd

like to get to know her and thank her personally. I hope you know how much we

appreciate the wonderful job you've done for all of us. For many, this group is

the only light at the end of that very dark tunnel. The post from everyone else

who are in the same position is proof that things can and do get better.

Regardless of the day or time, it's comforting to know that that you can always

find someone here, whether we post or not.

 

Kay

From: <Rheumatoid.Arthritis.Support@...>

Subject: Re: [ ] Re: Emotional Issues

Date: Thursday, December 2, 2010, 3:50 PM

Kay,

It is wonderful to read that you are moving away from that " dark

place " and that you are able to enjoy more reading and writing. I'm

sure your words will bring comfort to others.

The credit for establishing our group really rests with our founder

a. She hasn't been able to be with us for the last few years, but

it is my hope that she will someday return. I am happy to try to keep

the group going.

Not an MD

------------------------------------