I need to whine to people who get it!

[Guest guest]

When I de used to be a surrogate, back in September, I knew I couldn't go on my

meds. Two months ago, I got worse. With the parents, IVF clinic, and my rheumy,

I was put on steroids. I weaned off, and took my last pill on 5/13. I guess with

the stress of moving, sellin our last house, kids, findin out I will be losing

my job, and the normal chores, my body is shutting down. I will hopefully get

pregnant this first cycle. They implant the embroys next week, either Monday,

Tues, or Wednesday.

I am so honored to be doing such a wonderful thing for someone, but my body is

suffering. Days like today, where every inch of my body hurts, and it even hurts

to breathe, I get scared, wondering just what kind of damage I am causing my

body.

I also feel lazy and guilty, as it is harder for me to care for my 1 and 3 year

old. As my husband picks up the slack with the house and the kids, tempers flare

more and more. I think my husband was accusing me of faking it last week to get

out of doing things. I pointed at my softball sized ankle, and told him that for

once, I was happy it was swollen, so I could prove I'm not faking.

I hope that once I am pregnant, it will go into remission, and I can once again

play with my kids, and be productive around the house, and feel human!