Things aren't looking so good

[Guest guest]

So after my Rheumy moved me to 300mg of Remicade, and upped me to 8 pills of

methotrexate, and gave me naproxin. I am getting worse every day. It's to the

point where I literally wanted to end my life over the weekend. Between the

massive amount of pain I'm in, and how I feel like a bad wife and mother (they

deserve better). I decided to get help instead. I know once the pain is gone, I

can enjoy life. I'll give it one more shot. I'm trying to get in to a pain

management clinic and a psychologist. I have another appt. w/ my rheumy in 3

weeks (instead of the normal 8 weeks) to do remicade. If this doesn't work,

he'll try something else.

I am on short term disability. I literally laid in bed all day today in pain.

I " m scared, because in another 6 weeks, my disability only pays me 65% of my

salary. I am already not getting my bonus.

With a ton of money that we had to dump into the house over the past year for a

huge mold problem that the home inspector didn't find, we had to add a new roof

and siding, we are in debt. When we bough the house, we could afford it if one

of us lost our jobs. Now with the debt from that, and the car I bought in June,

and me not getting my bonus...and who knows when I'm going back to work...I'm

scared we are going to lose everything.

At this point, I can't even think of little jobs I can do around the house to

make money. We are so screwed.

I thought maybe I could make cookies or cupcakes or something, but considering I

was going to bake cookies for my kids today, and that never happened. I guess

that's out of the option.

Any ideas?

Thanks!

Missie in PA