Re: In-Laws who won't support me during my SSDI hearing......

[Guest guest]

Sorry to hear this about your sister-in-law, . Try not to let it

get you down.

The best of luck to you on April 14th! Please let us know how your hearing goes.

Not an MD

On Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 7:00 PM, denisesymens <denisesymens@...> wrote:

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I am so upset today...I asked my very good friend and sister in law of 10

years to come and support me at my SSDI Hearing on April 14th ( I have RA,

Peripheral Artery Disease, Raynauds, depression, and chronic pain. I take 10

meds every day). She said she had differing opinions than me on my disability

and didn't support my getting disability.  I was devastated.  My husband, and

mom and sister that live 800 miles away all support me and will be at the

hearing.  I also have letters of support from my primary care doctor and will

get one from my pain specialist.

>

> My sister in law is close to her mother, and both think no one works as hard

as they do. I still thought my sister in law was supportive, and I told her you

have to work so many years and pay Social Security before you qualified and it

wasn't welfare.

>

> I get so tired of people thinking you have to be paralyzed and have an iq of

60 before you qualify. It has not helped my depression for sure.......

>

> Thanks for listening,

>

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry to hear this. It's difficult enough to deal with the disease, but

when you have close friends, relatives that think your not bad enough off, it

really hurts. I unfortunately deal with this with my Fiancee'.

He doesn't understand a whole lot about RA and even refuses to read any

literature I give him. Needless to say it has put a strain on our relationship

and I don't think there will be any pending nuptials. It really hurts when

people don't understand that even though you may appear outwardly " normal " , you

hurt like hell. I wish you the best of luck at your hearing and am happy that

you do have some support from your family.

Heidi in Denver

________________________________

From: denisesymens <denisesymens@...>

Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 6:00:50 PM

Subject: [ ] In-Laws who won't support me during my SSDI hearing......

Hello Everyone,

I am so upset today...I asked my very good friend and sister in law of 10 years

to come and support me at my SSDI Hearing on April 14th ( I have RA, Peripheral

Artery Disease, Raynauds, depression, and chronic pain. I take 10 meds every

day). She said she had differing opinions than me on my disability and didn't

support my getting disability. I was devastated. My husband, and mom and

sister that live 800 miles away all support me and will be at the hearing. I

also have letters of support from my primary care doctor and will get one from

my pain specialist.

My sister in law is close to her mother, and both think no one works as hard as

they do. I still thought my sister in law was supportive, and I told her you

have to work so many years and pay Social Security before you qualified and it

wasn't welfare.

I get so tired of people thinking you have to be paralyzed and have an iq of 60

before you qualify. It has not helped my depression for sure.......

Thanks for listening,

[Guest guest]

One person's opinion doesn't change your reality. Unfortunately, many people

think if they can't see blood and bone- then you can't be that bad off. Of

course, those are the same people that have never experienced this lovely

disease. Or any other that isn't proven to them.

 

I am sorry that your SIL doesn't understand Ms. , but maybe she will over

time. In the meantime, you have support and Dr's that say it is true. In a

hearing, the judge doesn't listen to much of anyone else ( at least at mine he

didn't ). S/he looks at the medical evidence and asks questions. Look them in

the eye and be entirely truthful in your responses is my best advice. We will be

there with you too.

 

in SC

 

Hello Everyone,

I am so upset today...I asked my very good friend and sister in law of 10 years

to come and support me at my SSDI Hearing on April 14th ( I have RA, Peripheral

Artery Disease, Raynauds, depression, and chronic pain. I take 10 meds every

day). She said she had differing opinions than me on my disability and didn't

support my getting disability.

[Guest guest]

,

was right on the money. My in laws (all of them) think the same way about

me. If they don't see me bleeding or on my death bed, nothing is wrong with me.

And they only see me 2x a year! It hasn't helped my case that I've been in

remission until a couple of weeks ago! One of my BIL's preaches to me (most

recently today!!) " oh well - if you just worked out, your arthritis would go

away. " And - oh, it's just part of getting older. ha! uneducated people lump

ALL arthritis' together!

Sorry! I got into a rant (bad day)! This is about you ! You just concentrate

with getting support from those that are by your side. And you do have ALL of us

as some of your biggest supporters!

Hugs,

in SC

Sent from my iPhone

On Mar 8, 2011, at 2:19 PM, phyllis crubaugh <phylliscrubaugh@...> wrote:

> One person's opinion doesn't change your reality. Unfortunately, many people

think if they can't see blood and bone- then you can't be that bad off. Of

course, those are the same people that have never experienced this lovely

disease. Or any other that isn't proven to them.

>

> I am sorry that your SIL doesn't understand Ms. , but maybe she will

over time. In the meantime, you have support and Dr's that say it is true. In a

hearing, the judge doesn't listen to much of anyone else ( at least at mine he

didn't ). S/he looks at the medical evidence and asks questions. Look them in

the eye and be entirely truthful in your responses is my best advice. We will be

there with you too.

>

> in SC

>

>

>

>

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I am so upset today...I asked my very good friend and sister in law of 10

years to come and support me at my SSDI Hearing on April 14th ( I have RA,

Peripheral Artery Disease, Raynauds, depression, and chronic pain. I take 10

meds every day). She said she had differing opinions than me on my disability

and didn't support my getting disability.

>

>

[Guest guest]

My wife never tells anyone she has RA, if someone asks her what is wrong she

tells them she has an auto immune disease. She got tired of all the stupid

comments about arthritis from people who really don't care.

Bob

-------Original Message-------

From:

Date: 3/8/2011 12:17:40 PM

[Guest guest]

Hi .

 

I totally agree with what said.  You can always count on us for support

and love.  You never have to explain to all of us, we have been there and done

that.

 

I wish you many pain free days ahead.  Take care and rest as much as you can. 

It does help.

 

Hugs,

 

Barbara

>

>

>

> Hello Everyone,

>

> I am so upset today...I asked my very good friend and sister in law of 10

years to come and support me at my SSDI Hearing on April 14th ( I have RA,

Peripheral Artery Disease, Raynauds, depression, and chronic pain. I take 10

meds every day). She said she had differing opinions than me on my disability

and didn't support my getting disability.

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I am so sorry to read that you have to endure this along with this disease. It

just so happened that about 2 weeks before I went into the hospital ICU, my

husband of almost 35 years says to me " Well, you don't look that sick " . What

made him say that I will never know. What he seems to forget is that I have

someone come to the house once a month to color and cut my hair and every 2

weeks I have a girl who comes to do my acryllic nails and my one daughter gives

me a monthly pedicure. So that " I don't look that sick " , sure does take a lot

of people coming to the house and a few bucks. Ugh........men. Tonight I asked

him if I looked " sick enough " when I was in the ICU with 2 bags of blood running

into my body and oxygen taped to my face. I didn't get a response to my

question

tonight.

Hang in there and I hope things go better with your hearing.

Gentle, tender angel hugs............

Debs in FL

[ ] In-Laws who won't support me during my SSDI hearing......

Hello Everyone,

I am so upset today...I asked my very good friend and sister in law of 10 years

to come and support me at my SSDI Hearing on April 14th ( I have RA, Peripheral

Artery Disease, Raynauds, depression, and chronic pain. I take 10 meds every

day). She said she had differing opinions than me on my disability and didn't

support my getting disability. I was devastated. My husband, and mom and

sister that live 800 miles away all support me and will be at the hearing. I

also have letters of support from my primary care doctor and will get one from

my pain specialist.

My sister in law is close to her mother, and both think no one works as hard as

they do. I still thought my sister in law was supportive, and I told her you

have to work so many years and pay Social Security before you qualified and it

wasn't welfare.

I get so tired of people thinking you have to be paralyzed and have an iq of 60

before you qualify. It has not helped my depression for sure.......

Thanks for listening,

[Guest guest]

Hey Bob,I just wanted to say, and I mean this in a GOOD way!  Typical man -

getting straight to the point! Good job- you said it the best and not as wordy

as someone like me!  in SC 

From: Bob <robert333@...>

Subject: Re: [ ] In-Laws who won't support me during my SSDI

hearing......

Date: Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 3:42 PM

 

My wife never tells anyone she has RA, if someone asks her what is wrong

she

tells them she has an auto immune disease. She got tired of all the stupid

comments about arthritis from people who really don't care.

Bob

-------Original Message-------

From:

Date: 3/8/2011 12:17:40 PM

[Guest guest]

Hi - I'm so sorry you are feeling like you aren't getting any support

from your SIL. Unfortunately, this disease really sorts out your real friends

from the " fair weather " ones. As for your disability hearing, I don't know how

its done in your state, but here in FL, they only allow the claimant (you) and

their attorney in the hearing room.

I'd be interested to hear how they do things in your state. I wish you all the

luck for a positive ruling. FL is VERY slow. 4+ years later and I'm still

waiting - UGH!..... Doreen

Hello Everyone,

I am so upset today...I asked my very good friend and sister in law of 10 years

to come and support me at my SSDI Hearing on April 14th (I have RA, Peripheral

Artery Disease, Raynauds, depression, and chronic pain. I take 10 meds every

day). She said she had differing opinions than me on my disability and didn't

support my getting disability. I was devastated. My husband, and mom and

sister that live 800 miles away all support me and will be at the hearing. I

also have letters of support from my primary care doctor and will get one from

my pain specialist.

My sister in law is close to her mother, and both think no one works as hard as

they do. I still thought my sister in law was supportive, and I told her you

have to work so many years and pay Social Security before you qualified and it

wasn't welfare.

I get so tired of people thinking you have to be paralyzed and have an iq of 60

before you qualify. It has not helped my depression for sure.......

Thanks for listening,

[Guest guest]

Just an FYI. My brother and sister in law are both attorneys and work with

assisting people applying for disability for Legal Aid, a government agency set

up to assist the lower income bracket. From what I've been told it is beneficial

to obtain an attorney when filing for diability. I used Legal Aid for help w the

IRS and ended up only having to pay the IRS $10, the attorney? $0. My best

wishes for your disabilty to go through soon!

 

ladeyangll

[Guest guest]

Do your brother and Sister in law know about the stalking incident.

Carol

Re: [ ] Re: In-Laws who won't support me during my SSDI

hearing......

Just an FYI. My brother and sister in law are both attorneys and work with

assisting people applying for disability for Legal Aid, a government agency set

up to assist the lower income bracket. From what I've been told it is beneficial

to obtain an attorney when filing for diability. I used Legal Aid for help w the

IRS and ended up only having to pay the IRS $10, the attorney? $0. My best

wishes for your disabilty to go through soon!

ladeyangll

[Guest guest]

Everyone,

Thanks so much for your support, it has helped me really make it through the

week.  The sad thing is, I would think it was more important to support your

friend in need than worry if they are " screwing the system by not working 40

hours a week " , which I am not.  If they could only live a week in our

shoes.........Oh, I will also talk to my attorney this week and ask him more

about having others in the room during my hearing.  And, from the time of my

initial application to my hearing was 20 months, and I am praying so hard I get

approved.  We are really hurting financially, and I would like to move back

home

where I have support from my family if I get approved..  Thanks again

everyone,