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Feelings of doom

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I'm sure you have all had those awful nights where you lie awake and

wonder why this is happening. What do you do? I feel it is the devil

working on my fears but it is so hard to overcome. And it carries

over into the day. When I was first diagnosed with ILD, I knew it was

bad but felt I could overcome. But as time goes on, I have realized

that may not happen. I not ready to give up the hope that I and my

immediate family pray for, but feelings of doom seem to envelope

me.

I'm not on O2, so I probably don't have much to complain about. There

is just so much unknown about this crappy disease and that makes it

difficult for me to handle. Everyone's journey seems to be different -

including medications, symptoms, lifestyles, environment. I'm very

independent and dread the idea of losing that. I've always relied on

prayer and my inner strength to handle problems, but I wonder now if

I have enough for this journey in life.

Sorry to be so gloomy. Maybe it is the late lent/pre-Easter blues :)

I needed to bring these feelings to someone, and I knew all of you

would understand. I also know it will get better ... I just hope soon!

gigi

ILD 3/07

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