The Joys and Struggles of Intuitive Eating

[Guest guest]

I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating this week. I

am not

complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term process of self

discovery

and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the emotional

component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.

When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it was about

eating whatever I

wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But once I

learned to

identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked to discover

how many

times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion. And I wouldn't

even

say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS every emotion,

or at least

sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.

Now that I am using food much less often as a " coping mechanism " , I oftentimes

feel lost,

empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled - by

something, someone,

anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child, probably to cope

with my

mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So now, at the

ripe old

age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really am. At this

stage, I

often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self esteem, and that

is why it

seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And when you have

spent

the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very isolated and

get very

little validation from anyone.)

I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that after 2

months of

intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer willing to spend

all day and

night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no longer

spend more

than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will need to hire

outside help

to assist me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and take care of

myself in a

new way. I hope this " trend " continues. If not, I may need to consider therapy

to help me

with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I have

repressed for the

past 50 years with food.

But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I had eggs and

bacon for

breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would prefer to

have 2 of my

delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored every bite

of those

delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new world for me.

In the past,

I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And then I

probably

would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would have felt sick

and

bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for " blowing it "

once again.

Furthermore, I wouldn't have even had such delicious homemade cookies in the

house

because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many years. I

still use about

half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't like things

too sweet. I

found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another joy of

I.E.. I no

longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness and

deprivation

when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, " No sense looking at that.

You know you

won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh. " I have been having fun

looking over

the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week, being able to

look at

ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying not to

notice the

dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have " the world's best chocolate chip

cookie " or

" the ultimate oatmeal cookie " and all the other titles that catch my eye.

So it has been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch with the joys

of my

new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible " head trip " that intuitive

eating can also

be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the long run,

this is going to

make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just someone

trying to

please others and put on a good " show " most of the time.

So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-)

B.

[Guest guest]

Good for you, ! You seem to be much farther along than me

(I have frequent relapses) but I can really identify with what you

wrote. Continued success!

Barbara

I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating this week. I am not complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term process of self discovery and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the emotional

component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it was about eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But once I learned to

identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked to discover how many times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion. And I wouldn't even say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS every emotion, or at least

sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.Now that I am using food much less often as a " coping mechanism " , I oftentimes feel lost, empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled - by something, someone,

anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child, probably to cope with my mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So now, at the ripe old age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really am. At this stage, I

often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self esteem, and that is why it seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And when you have spent the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very isolated and get very

little validation from anyone.)I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that after 2 months of intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer willing to spend all day and

night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no longer spend more than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will need to hire outside help to assist me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and take care of myself in a

new way. I hope this " trend " continues. If not, I may need to consider therapy to help me with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I have repressed for the past 50 years with food.

But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I had eggs and bacon for breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would prefer to have 2 of my delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored every bite of those

delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new world for me. In the past, I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And then I probably would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would have felt sick and

bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for " blowing it " once again. Furthermore, I wouldn't have even had such delicious homemade cookies in the house because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many years. I still use about

half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't like things too sweet. I found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another joy of I.E.. I no longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness and deprivation

when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, " No sense looking at that. You know you won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh. " I have been having fun looking over the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week, being able to look at

ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying not to notice the dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have " the world's best chocolate chip cookie " or " the ultimate oatmeal cookie " and all the other titles that catch my eye.

So it has been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch with the joys of my new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible " head trip " that intuitive eating can also be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the long run, this is going to

make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just someone trying to please others and put on a good " show " most of the time. So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-)

B.

[Guest guest]

Good for you, ! You seem to be much farther along than me

(I have frequent relapses) but I can really identify with what you

wrote. Continued success!

Barbara

I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating this week. I am not complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term process of self discovery and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the emotional

component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it was about eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But once I learned to

identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked to discover how many times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion. And I wouldn't even say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS every emotion, or at least

sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.Now that I am using food much less often as a " coping mechanism " , I oftentimes feel lost, empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled - by something, someone,

anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child, probably to cope with my mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So now, at the ripe old age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really am. At this stage, I

often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self esteem, and that is why it seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And when you have spent the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very isolated and get very

little validation from anyone.)I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that after 2 months of intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer willing to spend all day and

night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no longer spend more than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will need to hire outside help to assist me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and take care of myself in a

new way. I hope this " trend " continues. If not, I may need to consider therapy to help me with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I have repressed for the past 50 years with food.

But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I had eggs and bacon for breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would prefer to have 2 of my delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored every bite of those

delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new world for me. In the past, I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And then I probably would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would have felt sick and

bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for " blowing it " once again. Furthermore, I wouldn't have even had such delicious homemade cookies in the house because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many years. I still use about

half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't like things too sweet. I found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another joy of I.E.. I no longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness and deprivation

when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, " No sense looking at that. You know you won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh. " I have been having fun looking over the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week, being able to look at

ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying not to notice the dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have " the world's best chocolate chip cookie " or " the ultimate oatmeal cookie " and all the other titles that catch my eye.

So it has been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch with the joys of my new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible " head trip " that intuitive eating can also be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the long run, this is going to

make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just someone trying to please others and put on a good " show " most of the time. So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-)

B.

[Guest guest]

Thank you for sharing. I have only been doing IE for a week and feel I am getting no where.

But your story gives me hope.

Thank you

Angie and the gang

                 

-- The Joys and Struggles of Intuitive Eating

I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating this week. I am not

complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term process of self discovery

and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the emotional

component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.

When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it was about eating whatever I

wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But once I learned to

identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked to discover how many

times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion. And I wouldn't even

say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS every emotion, or at least

sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.

Now that I am using food much less often as a "coping mechanism", I oftentimes feel lost,

empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled - by something, someone,

anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child, probably to cope with my

mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So now, at the ripe old

age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really am. At this stage, I

often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self esteem, and that is why it

seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And when you have spent

the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very isolated and get very

little validation from anyone.)

I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that after 2 months of

intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer willing to spend all day and

night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no longer spend more

than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will need to hire outside help

to assist me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and take care of myself in a

new way. I hope this "trend" continues. If not, I may need to consider therapy to help me

with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I have repressed for the

past 50 years with food.

But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I had eggs and bacon for

breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would prefer to have 2 of my

delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored every bite of those

delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new world for me. In the past,

I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And then I probably

would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would have felt sick and

bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for "blowing it" once again.

Furthermore, I wouldn't have even had such delicious homemade cookies in the house

because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many years. I still use about

half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't like things too sweet. I

found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another joy of I.E.. I no

longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness and deprivation

when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, "No sense looking at that. You know you

won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh." I have been having fun looking over

the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week, being able to look at

ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying not to notice the

dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have "the world's best chocolate chip cookie" or

"the ultimate oatmeal cookie" and all the other titles that catch my eye.

So it has been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch with the joys of my

new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible "head trip" that intuitive eating can also

be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the long run, this is going to

make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just someone trying to

please others and put on a good "show" most of the time.

So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-)

B.

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Thank you for sharing. I have only been doing IE for a week and feel I am getting no where.

But your story gives me hope.

Thank you

Angie and the gang

                 

-- The Joys and Struggles of Intuitive Eating

I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating this week. I am not

complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term process of self discovery

and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the emotional

component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.

When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it was about eating whatever I

wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But once I learned to

identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked to discover how many

times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion. And I wouldn't even

say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS every emotion, or at least

sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.

Now that I am using food much less often as a "coping mechanism", I oftentimes feel lost,

empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled - by something, someone,

anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child, probably to cope with my

mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So now, at the ripe old

age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really am. At this stage, I

often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self esteem, and that is why it

seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And when you have spent

the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very isolated and get very

little validation from anyone.)

I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that after 2 months of

intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer willing to spend all day and

night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no longer spend more

than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will need to hire outside help

to assist me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and take care of myself in a

new way. I hope this "trend" continues. If not, I may need to consider therapy to help me

with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I have repressed for the

past 50 years with food.

But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I had eggs and bacon for

breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would prefer to have 2 of my

delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored every bite of those

delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new world for me. In the past,

I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And then I probably

would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would have felt sick and

bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for "blowing it" once again.

Furthermore, I wouldn't have even had such delicious homemade cookies in the house

because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many years. I still use about

half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't like things too sweet. I

found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another joy of I.E.. I no

longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness and deprivation

when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, "No sense looking at that. You know you

won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh." I have been having fun looking over

the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week, being able to look at

ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying not to notice the

dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have "the world's best chocolate chip cookie" or

"the ultimate oatmeal cookie" and all the other titles that catch my eye.

So it has been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch with the joys of my

new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible "head trip" that intuitive eating can also

be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the long run, this is going to

make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just someone trying to

please others and put on a good "show" most of the time.

So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-)

B.

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi , Thank you for sharing that. I know how you feel and I am impressed with how far you have come. I am not there yet. Maybe soon. You should be so proud of yourself. I think it is interesting how some of us look for external validation, when we really need to work on internal validation and self love. How far you have come already is truly an inspiration. Leah wrote: I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating this week. I am not

complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term process of self discovery and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the emotional component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it was about eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But once I learned to identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked to discover how many times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion. And I wouldn't even say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS every emotion, or at least sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.Now that I am using food much less often as a "coping mechanism", I oftentimes feel lost, empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled - by something, someone,

anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child, probably to cope with my mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So now, at the ripe old age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really am. At this stage, I often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self esteem, and that is why it seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And when you have spent the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very isolated and get very little validation from anyone.)I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that after 2 months of intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer willing to spend all day and night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no longer spend more than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will need to hire outside help to assist

me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and take care of myself in a new way. I hope this "trend" continues. If not, I may need to consider therapy to help me with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I have repressed for the past 50 years with food.But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I had eggs and bacon for breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would prefer to have 2 of my delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored every bite of those delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new world for me. In the past, I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And then I probably would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would have felt sick and bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for "blowing it" once again. Furthermore, I wouldn't have

even had such delicious homemade cookies in the house because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many years. I still use about half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't like things too sweet. I found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another joy of I.E.. I no longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness and deprivation when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, "No sense looking at that. You know you won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh." I have been having fun looking over the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week, being able to look at ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying not to notice the dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have "the world's best chocolate chip cookie" or "the ultimate oatmeal cookie" and all the other titles that catch my eye. So it has

been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch with the joys of my new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible "head trip" that intuitive eating can also be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the long run, this is going to make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just someone trying to please others and put on a good "show" most of the time. So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-) B.

[Guest guest]

Hi , Thank you for sharing that. I know how you feel and I am impressed with how far you have come. I am not there yet. Maybe soon. You should be so proud of yourself. I think it is interesting how some of us look for external validation, when we really need to work on internal validation and self love. How far you have come already is truly an inspiration. Leah wrote: I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating this week. I am not

complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term process of self discovery and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the emotional component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it was about eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But once I learned to identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked to discover how many times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion. And I wouldn't even say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS every emotion, or at least sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.Now that I am using food much less often as a "coping mechanism", I oftentimes feel lost, empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled - by something, someone,

anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child, probably to cope with my mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So now, at the ripe old age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really am. At this stage, I often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self esteem, and that is why it seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And when you have spent the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very isolated and get very little validation from anyone.)I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that after 2 months of intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer willing to spend all day and night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no longer spend more than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will need to hire outside help to assist

me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and take care of myself in a new way. I hope this "trend" continues. If not, I may need to consider therapy to help me with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I have repressed for the past 50 years with food.But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I had eggs and bacon for breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would prefer to have 2 of my delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored every bite of those delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new world for me. In the past, I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And then I probably would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would have felt sick and bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for "blowing it" once again. Furthermore, I wouldn't have

even had such delicious homemade cookies in the house because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many years. I still use about half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't like things too sweet. I found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another joy of I.E.. I no longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness and deprivation when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, "No sense looking at that. You know you won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh." I have been having fun looking over the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week, being able to look at ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying not to notice the dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have "the world's best chocolate chip cookie" or "the ultimate oatmeal cookie" and all the other titles that catch my eye. So it has

been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch with the joys of my new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible "head trip" that intuitive eating can also be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the long run, this is going to make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just someone trying to please others and put on a good "show" most of the time. So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-) B.

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for sharing your experiences of this wonderful journey with us.

I can relate to several things in your message. I think it's a great show of progress and taking care of yourself that you have decided to limit the amount of care you are going to provide for your mom. That is very important and shows that you are changing in more ways than about food. I suspect you will continue to see similar changes.

One change that I have seen in myself is that I no longer stock up as much on food - especially canned goods. We have a closet with shelves where we keep our canned goods. Once we put that in, I kept it so fully stocked that it was almost overflowing. I would see things on "sale" and have to stock up on them. I "needed" a variety of stuff on hand to be able to cook at a whim.

Without any effort or conscious change on my part, we have noticed that I don't keep that closet as full of food/canned goods now. It's only about half full. It feels so good to see this happen.

I've had a long time theory about people like myself who have weight issues and having a lot of clutter. Clutter has been a problem in my life for years and I feel it's related to the weight. I also suspect the clutter will clear up or improve as my weight improves.

I can also relate to what you wrote about finally being able to bake all those sweets that you had to just pass by before. What an incredible feeling. I just love it.

I enjoyed reading about how you had those cookies (that you really wanted) rather than the bagel and how you would have had them and more had you not had them in the first place. That is so true. The more we try to deny ourselves, the more we eat. Isn't that amazing?

I think it's great that you are becoming aware of how often you would use food for emotional reasons. I remember reading somewhere that it's a good idea to check in before we eat and make sure of our hunger level and if we are trying to feed emotions or hunger. I've read that if we are trying to feed emotions, and realize it, we should try to figure out what it is that we really want and figure out and action we can take towards making that happen. This should help with eating for emotions. We have to take care of that emotional stuff somehow.

Thanks for all that you shared. It was quite inspiring.

Sharon

[Guest guest]

,

Thanks for sharing your experiences of this wonderful journey with us.

I can relate to several things in your message. I think it's a great show of progress and taking care of yourself that you have decided to limit the amount of care you are going to provide for your mom. That is very important and shows that you are changing in more ways than about food. I suspect you will continue to see similar changes.

One change that I have seen in myself is that I no longer stock up as much on food - especially canned goods. We have a closet with shelves where we keep our canned goods. Once we put that in, I kept it so fully stocked that it was almost overflowing. I would see things on "sale" and have to stock up on them. I "needed" a variety of stuff on hand to be able to cook at a whim.

Without any effort or conscious change on my part, we have noticed that I don't keep that closet as full of food/canned goods now. It's only about half full. It feels so good to see this happen.

I've had a long time theory about people like myself who have weight issues and having a lot of clutter. Clutter has been a problem in my life for years and I feel it's related to the weight. I also suspect the clutter will clear up or improve as my weight improves.

I can also relate to what you wrote about finally being able to bake all those sweets that you had to just pass by before. What an incredible feeling. I just love it.

I enjoyed reading about how you had those cookies (that you really wanted) rather than the bagel and how you would have had them and more had you not had them in the first place. That is so true. The more we try to deny ourselves, the more we eat. Isn't that amazing?

I think it's great that you are becoming aware of how often you would use food for emotional reasons. I remember reading somewhere that it's a good idea to check in before we eat and make sure of our hunger level and if we are trying to feed emotions or hunger. I've read that if we are trying to feed emotions, and realize it, we should try to figure out what it is that we really want and figure out and action we can take towards making that happen. This should help with eating for emotions. We have to take care of that emotional stuff somehow.

Thanks for all that you shared. It was quite inspiring.

Sharon

[Guest guest]

- BRAVO and gold stars all around for your successes and

achievements> You truly are on your IE way!! So happy you are here to

share this victory with us as I find it inspiring too.

ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating

this week. I am not

> complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term

process of self discovery

> and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the

emotional

> component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.

>

> When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it

was about eating whatever I

> wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But

once I learned to

> identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked

to discover how many

> times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion.

And I wouldn't even

> say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS

every emotion, or at least

> sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.

>

> Now that I am using food much less often as a " coping mechanism " , I

oftentimes feel lost,

> empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled -

by something, someone,

> anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child,

probably to cope with my

> mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So

now, at the ripe old

> age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really

am. At this stage, I

> often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self

esteem, and that is why it

> seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And

when you have spent

> the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very

isolated and get very

> little validation from anyone.)

>

> I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that

after 2 months of

> intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer

willing to spend all day and

> night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no

longer spend more

> than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will

need to hire outside help

> to assist me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and

take care of myself in a

> new way. I hope this " trend " continues. If not, I may need to

consider therapy to help me

> with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I

have repressed for the

> past 50 years with food.

>

> But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I

had eggs and bacon for

> breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would

prefer to have 2 of my

> delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored

every bite of those

> delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new

world for me. In the past,

> I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And

then I probably

> would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would

have felt sick and

> bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for

" blowing it " once again.

> Furthermore, I wouldn't have even had such delicious homemade

cookies in the house

> because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many

years. I still use about

> half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't

like things too sweet. I

> found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another

joy of I.E.. I no

> longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness

and deprivation

> when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, " No sense looking

at that. You know you

> won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh. " I have been

having fun looking over

> the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week,

being able to look at

> ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying

not to notice the

> dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have " the world's best

chocolate chip cookie " or

> " the ultimate oatmeal cookie " and all the other titles that catch my

eye.

>

> So it has been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch

with the joys of my

> new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible " head trip "

that intuitive eating can also

> be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the

long run, this is going to

> make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just

someone trying to

> please others and put on a good " show " most of the time.

>

> So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-)

>

> B.

>

[Guest guest]

- BRAVO and gold stars all around for your successes and

achievements> You truly are on your IE way!! So happy you are here to

share this victory with us as I find it inspiring too.

ehugs, Katcha

>

> I have been having lots of highs and lows due to intuitive eating

this week. I am not

> complaining about the lows. I think they are part of a long term

process of self discovery

> and healing and growth. But at the beginning stage, dealing with the

emotional

> component of intuitive eating has been very difficult for me.

>

> When I started to learn about intuitive eating, I just thought it

was about eating whatever I

> wanted, whenever I wanted, as long as I stopped when I was full. But

once I learned to

> identify true hunger vs. emotional hunger, I was absolutely shocked

to discover how many

> times during the day I was using food to cope with EVERY emotion.

And I wouldn't even

> say I was using it to cope. I would say I was using it to REPRESS

every emotion, or at least

> sedate them sufficiently so they stayed well below my radar screen.

>

> Now that I am using food much less often as a " coping mechanism " , I

oftentimes feel lost,

> empty, and alone. I feel like an empty vessel waiting to be filled -

by something, someone,

> anything. I started using food to cope as a very young child,

probably to cope with my

> mother's constant criticism and judgment and controlling nature. So

now, at the ripe old

> age of 55, I am just beginning a journey of discovering who I really

am. At this stage, I

> often feel like I am nothing, like I have no self worth or self

esteem, and that is why it

> seems I am always look externally for validation of any kind. (And

when you have spent

> the last 7 years caring for a mother with Alzheimer's, you are very

isolated and get very

> little validation from anyone.)

>

> I do see signs of progress. I am sure that it is no coincidence that

after 2 months of

> intuitive eating, I have informed my family that I am no longer

willing to spend all day and

> night taking care of my mother, 7 days a week. I have said I will no

longer spend more

> than 8 hours a day actively engaged in her care, and that we will

need to hire outside help

> to assist me. This tells me that I am learning to love myself and

take care of myself in a

> new way. I hope this " trend " continues. If not, I may need to

consider therapy to help me

> with these feelings of emptiness that I often feel, feelings that I

have repressed for the

> past 50 years with food.

>

> But today I was also thinking about the JOYS of intuitive eating. I

had eggs and bacon for

> breakfast, and was thinking of having a bagel. But I decided I would

prefer to have 2 of my

> delicious crispy homemade oatmeal cookies with my coffee. I savored

every bite of those

> delicious cookies and felt very happy eating them. This is a new

world for me. In the past,

> I would have eaten the bagel, trying to deny myself the cookies. And

then I probably

> would have eaten the cookies, and way more than two, and I would

have felt sick and

> bloated and I would have hated myself for the rest of the day for

" blowing it " once again.

> Furthermore, I wouldn't have even had such delicious homemade

cookies in the house

> because I have not allowed myself to bake with REAL sugar for many

years. I still use about

> half of what the recipes call for, but that is only because I don't

like things too sweet. I

> found the recipe in one of my cooking magazines. And that is another

joy of I.E.. I no

> longer have to look at cooking magazines and feel a pang of sadness

and deprivation

> when I see the delicious dessert recipes thinking, " No sense looking

at that. You know you

> won't ever be able to make that for yourself. Sigh. " I have been

having fun looking over

> the last couple years of some of my cooking magazines this week,

being able to look at

> ALL the recipes, instead of looking at them with blinders on, trying

not to notice the

> dessert or bread recipes. I, too, can now have " the world's best

chocolate chip cookie " or

> " the ultimate oatmeal cookie " and all the other titles that catch my

eye.

>

> So it has been an interesting week. I have been very much in touch

with the joys of my

> new life of intuitive eating, but also the incredible " head trip "

that intuitive eating can also

> be, which was not something I bargained for. But as I said, in the

long run, this is going to

> make me a much happier, healthier, whole, authentic person, not just

someone trying to

> please others and put on a good " show " most of the time.

>

> So in the end, as the saying goes, IT'S ALL GOOD. :-)

>

> B.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow! I just wanted to say that this is all REALLY powerful stuff; it

seems like you are setting boundareis where you need them to be (with

the care of your mother, for example) and breaking boundaries you had

previously placed upon yourself (with cooking and eating).

Congratulations, , that's wonderful.

> From:

> Date: 5/29/2008 5:46:03 PM

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Subject: The Joys and Struggles of Intuitive

> Eating

>