Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was how she greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter ?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is your fat assed mother." I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! My mother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I was her "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but I just don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in months which is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressed this week because my grandmother was released from the hospital and she's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtually nothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her and she turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night she said she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her mother did! I nearly laughed right out loud. The good part of the story is that normally after a comment like that I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym which is what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when I was hungry. Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 oh wow.... Dear, if I were you I would have said "no, it's not" and hung up. JUST MAYBE she would start to figure it out. I am so glad you handled it as well as you did. Congrats IE girl! Sarao Let's Make Some Magic !!! Step into Sweets! www.sweetsngreets.com Supporting Gentle and Natural Birth "And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick." Home delivery ISN'T just about pizza... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Not only 'fat', but 'un-sanity' is a family thing . . . you definitley get it from your parents who got it from theirs who got it from theirs . . . , you did so good in not reacting, especially in the old grab the goodies and stuff mode. Just think, YOU can break the cycle and stop this cascade not only for yourself, but for any 'next in line' suffers too. Proud of you - Katcha > > Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was how she greeted me... " is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter ?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is your fat assed mother. " > > I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! My mother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I was her " fine, fat, farting, 5 year old " ) and probably before that but I just don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in months which is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressed this week because my grandmother was released from the hospital and she's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtually nothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her and she turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night she said she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her mother did! I nearly laughed right out loud. > > The good part of the story is that normally after a comment like that I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym which is what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when I was hungry. > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________________ > Yahoo! Canada Toolbar: Search from anywhere on the web, and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now at > http://ca.toolbar.yahoo.com. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY need to read it. Thanks, Connie --------- Re: mothers...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Friday, June 27, 2008, 10:56 AM Not only 'fat', but 'un-sanity' is a family thing . . . youdefinitley get it from your parents who got it from theirs who got itfrom theirs . . . , you did so good in not reacting, especially in the old grab thegoodies and stuff mode. Just think, YOU can break the cycle and stopthis cascade not only for yourself, but for any 'next in line' sufferstoo. Proud of you - Katcha>> Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was howshe greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is yourfat assed mother."> > I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! Mymother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I washer "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but Ijust don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in monthswhich is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressedthis week because my grandmother was released from the hospital andshe's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtuallynothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her andshe turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night shesaid she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her motherdid! I nearly laughed right out loud.> > The good part of the story is that normally after a comment likethat I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym whichis what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when Iwas hungry. > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ BR>> Yahoo! Canada Toolbar: Search from anywhere on the web, and bookmarkyour favourite sites. Download it now at> http://ca.toolbar. yahoo.com.> Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY need to read it. Thanks, Connie --------- Re: mothers...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Friday, June 27, 2008, 10:56 AM Not only 'fat', but 'un-sanity' is a family thing . . . youdefinitley get it from your parents who got it from theirs who got itfrom theirs . . . , you did so good in not reacting, especially in the old grab thegoodies and stuff mode. Just think, YOU can break the cycle and stopthis cascade not only for yourself, but for any 'next in line' sufferstoo. Proud of you - Katcha>> Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was howshe greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is yourfat assed mother."> > I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! Mymother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I washer "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but Ijust don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in monthswhich is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressedthis week because my grandmother was released from the hospital andshe's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtuallynothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her andshe turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night shesaid she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her motherdid! I nearly laughed right out loud.> > The good part of the story is that normally after a comment likethat I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym whichis what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when Iwas hungry. > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ BR>> Yahoo! Canada Toolbar: Search from anywhere on the web, and bookmarkyour favourite sites. Download it now at> http://ca.toolbar. yahoo.com.> Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY need to read it. Thanks, Connie --------- Re: mothers...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Friday, June 27, 2008, 10:56 AM Not only 'fat', but 'un-sanity' is a family thing . . . youdefinitley get it from your parents who got it from theirs who got itfrom theirs . . . , you did so good in not reacting, especially in the old grab thegoodies and stuff mode. Just think, YOU can break the cycle and stopthis cascade not only for yourself, but for any 'next in line' sufferstoo. Proud of you - Katcha>> Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was howshe greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is yourfat assed mother."> > I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! Mymother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I washer "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but Ijust don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in monthswhich is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressedthis week because my grandmother was released from the hospital andshe's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtuallynothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her andshe turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night shesaid she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her motherdid! I nearly laughed right out loud.> > The good part of the story is that normally after a comment likethat I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym whichis what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when Iwas hungry. > > > > > > > ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _ BR>> Yahoo! Canada Toolbar: Search from anywhere on the web, and bookmarkyour favourite sites. Download it now at> http://ca.toolbar. yahoo.com.> Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 The book is titled Toxic Parents by Forward. Used copies on Half.com and Amazon.com go cheap and you may even find it at PaperbackSwap.com? Best wishes, Katcha > > Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY need to read it. Thanks, Connie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 The book is titled Toxic Parents by Forward. Used copies on Half.com and Amazon.com go cheap and you may even find it at PaperbackSwap.com? Best wishes, Katcha > > Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY need to read it. Thanks, Connie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 The book is titled Toxic Parents by Forward. Used copies on Half.com and Amazon.com go cheap and you may even find it at PaperbackSwap.com? Best wishes, Katcha > > Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY need to read it. Thanks, Connie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thanks, I will check into it. Thanks also for getting back with me so quickly :-) Connie -------------- Original message -------------- The book is titled Toxic Parents by Forward. Used copies onHalf.com and Amazon.com go cheap and you may even find it atPaperbackSwap.com? Best wishes, Katcha>> Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY needto read it. Thanks, Connie> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thanks, I will check into it. Thanks also for getting back with me so quickly :-) Connie -------------- Original message -------------- The book is titled Toxic Parents by Forward. Used copies onHalf.com and Amazon.com go cheap and you may even find it atPaperbackSwap.com? Best wishes, Katcha>> Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY needto read it. Thanks, Connie> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thanks, I will check into it. Thanks also for getting back with me so quickly :-) Connie -------------- Original message -------------- The book is titled Toxic Parents by Forward. Used copies onHalf.com and Amazon.com go cheap and you may even find it atPaperbackSwap.com? Best wishes, Katcha>> Hi, wht is the book on toxic parents? I have one and REALLY needto read it. Thanks, Connie> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thank you for sharing that wonderful insight. I like how you phrased things and the idea of standing up for yourself that way. There have been times I would like to be that brave with my mom, but I am not sure I could do it. I will have to work on it. I also wanted to say that admire you for taking care of your mother the way you do. It has to be so hard. Like Red, I just recently visited my grandmother and she has alzheimers. She is still in an assisted living facility and has not had to be moved to a lock down unit, but I worry it will be sooner than all of us would like. On my very first day of visiting her she forgot who I was for a 45 minutes and she wouldn't believe me when I told her who I was, and lucky me, I am the first person in the family she has done this to. I am proud to say I did not binge or take to eating too many sweets, in fact it had the opposite affect on me and I had trouble eating at all. Like so many people, it is so devastating to see a wonderful caring, vibrant person that you love and owe so much get such a terrible disease. My mother was going to do the same thing you are doing and was very upset when my grandmother chose to move near my uncle and into an assisted living facility, but I think in the long run it will be a good thing. I was so mentally exhausted by the end of my visit and I had the luxury to be staying at my aunt and uncles house an hour away. Subject: Re: mothers...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, June 27, 2008, 11:28 AM Wow, I am so sorry your mother treats you that way. I thought MY mother was hard to deal with. (And that was BEFORE she developed Alzheimer's! She is much more kind now that she has lost her mind.)Mothers CAN be taught boundaries. I remember telling my mother at one point that if she made ANY comments about my eating or appearance, I would be out of there like a shot. I was true to my word and on a few occasions, I would be picking up my suitcase and heading out the door a few hours after arriving for a visit because she fell back into her old ways of criticizing my appearance or how fast or how much I was eating. After a few "scenes" with me leaving, she did finally learn to keep her thoughts to herself most of the time.What is the worst that could happen if you said, "I do not allow anyone, including friends or family, to speak to me in such a rude or offensive manner. When you think you can speak to me in a civil manner, feel free to call me again sometime. CLICK."You deserve to be treated much better than that, . B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thank you for sharing that wonderful insight. I like how you phrased things and the idea of standing up for yourself that way. There have been times I would like to be that brave with my mom, but I am not sure I could do it. I will have to work on it. I also wanted to say that admire you for taking care of your mother the way you do. It has to be so hard. Like Red, I just recently visited my grandmother and she has alzheimers. She is still in an assisted living facility and has not had to be moved to a lock down unit, but I worry it will be sooner than all of us would like. On my very first day of visiting her she forgot who I was for a 45 minutes and she wouldn't believe me when I told her who I was, and lucky me, I am the first person in the family she has done this to. I am proud to say I did not binge or take to eating too many sweets, in fact it had the opposite affect on me and I had trouble eating at all. Like so many people, it is so devastating to see a wonderful caring, vibrant person that you love and owe so much get such a terrible disease. My mother was going to do the same thing you are doing and was very upset when my grandmother chose to move near my uncle and into an assisted living facility, but I think in the long run it will be a good thing. I was so mentally exhausted by the end of my visit and I had the luxury to be staying at my aunt and uncles house an hour away. Subject: Re: mothers...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, June 27, 2008, 11:28 AM Wow, I am so sorry your mother treats you that way. I thought MY mother was hard to deal with. (And that was BEFORE she developed Alzheimer's! She is much more kind now that she has lost her mind.)Mothers CAN be taught boundaries. I remember telling my mother at one point that if she made ANY comments about my eating or appearance, I would be out of there like a shot. I was true to my word and on a few occasions, I would be picking up my suitcase and heading out the door a few hours after arriving for a visit because she fell back into her old ways of criticizing my appearance or how fast or how much I was eating. After a few "scenes" with me leaving, she did finally learn to keep her thoughts to herself most of the time.What is the worst that could happen if you said, "I do not allow anyone, including friends or family, to speak to me in such a rude or offensive manner. When you think you can speak to me in a civil manner, feel free to call me again sometime. CLICK."You deserve to be treated much better than that, . B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thank you for sharing that wonderful insight. I like how you phrased things and the idea of standing up for yourself that way. There have been times I would like to be that brave with my mom, but I am not sure I could do it. I will have to work on it. I also wanted to say that admire you for taking care of your mother the way you do. It has to be so hard. Like Red, I just recently visited my grandmother and she has alzheimers. She is still in an assisted living facility and has not had to be moved to a lock down unit, but I worry it will be sooner than all of us would like. On my very first day of visiting her she forgot who I was for a 45 minutes and she wouldn't believe me when I told her who I was, and lucky me, I am the first person in the family she has done this to. I am proud to say I did not binge or take to eating too many sweets, in fact it had the opposite affect on me and I had trouble eating at all. Like so many people, it is so devastating to see a wonderful caring, vibrant person that you love and owe so much get such a terrible disease. My mother was going to do the same thing you are doing and was very upset when my grandmother chose to move near my uncle and into an assisted living facility, but I think in the long run it will be a good thing. I was so mentally exhausted by the end of my visit and I had the luxury to be staying at my aunt and uncles house an hour away. Subject: Re: mothers...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, June 27, 2008, 11:28 AM Wow, I am so sorry your mother treats you that way. I thought MY mother was hard to deal with. (And that was BEFORE she developed Alzheimer's! She is much more kind now that she has lost her mind.)Mothers CAN be taught boundaries. I remember telling my mother at one point that if she made ANY comments about my eating or appearance, I would be out of there like a shot. I was true to my word and on a few occasions, I would be picking up my suitcase and heading out the door a few hours after arriving for a visit because she fell back into her old ways of criticizing my appearance or how fast or how much I was eating. After a few "scenes" with me leaving, she did finally learn to keep her thoughts to herself most of the time.What is the worst that could happen if you said, "I do not allow anyone, including friends or family, to speak to me in such a rude or offensive manner. When you think you can speak to me in a civil manner, feel free to call me again sometime. CLICK."You deserve to be treated much better than that, . B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Yeah You! It is tough when our mothers or other family members we love say hurtful things to us, and in your situation the hurtful things are not even said in a nice way. I wish I could give you some great advice, but it sounds like lots of other people on this list have some great suggestions. At least you know you can handle it without ending up punishing yourself further with binging. When I was going through a horrible break up years ago, exercising is what got me through. Something about moving your body and getting any type of work out does make you feel better. Listening to music while I exercised helped too. Leah Subject: mothers...To: intuitiveeating_support Date: Friday, June 27, 2008, 4:59 AM Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was how she greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter ?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is your fat assed mother." I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! My mother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I was her "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but I just don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in months which is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressed this week because my grandmother was released from the hospital and she's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtually nothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her and she turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night she said she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her mother did! I nearly laughed right out loud. The good part of the story is that normally after a comment like that I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym which is what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when I was hungry. Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Yeah You! It is tough when our mothers or other family members we love say hurtful things to us, and in your situation the hurtful things are not even said in a nice way. I wish I could give you some great advice, but it sounds like lots of other people on this list have some great suggestions. At least you know you can handle it without ending up punishing yourself further with binging. When I was going through a horrible break up years ago, exercising is what got me through. Something about moving your body and getting any type of work out does make you feel better. Listening to music while I exercised helped too. Leah Subject: mothers...To: intuitiveeating_support Date: Friday, June 27, 2008, 4:59 AM Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was how she greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter ?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is your fat assed mother." I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! My mother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I was her "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but I just don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in months which is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressed this week because my grandmother was released from the hospital and she's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtually nothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her and she turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night she said she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her mother did! I nearly laughed right out loud. The good part of the story is that normally after a comment like that I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym which is what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when I was hungry. Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 27, 2008 Report Share Posted June 27, 2008 Yeah You! It is tough when our mothers or other family members we love say hurtful things to us, and in your situation the hurtful things are not even said in a nice way. I wish I could give you some great advice, but it sounds like lots of other people on this list have some great suggestions. At least you know you can handle it without ending up punishing yourself further with binging. When I was going through a horrible break up years ago, exercising is what got me through. Something about moving your body and getting any type of work out does make you feel better. Listening to music while I exercised helped too. Leah Subject: mothers...To: intuitiveeating_support Date: Friday, June 27, 2008, 4:59 AM Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was how she greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter ?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is your fat assed mother." I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! My mother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I was her "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but I just don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in months which is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressed this week because my grandmother was released from the hospital and she's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtually nothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her and she turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night she said she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her mother did! I nearly laughed right out loud. The good part of the story is that normally after a comment like that I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym which is what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when I was hungry. Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2008 Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Talk about dealing with feelings without bingeing-way to go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2008 Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Talk about dealing with feelings without bingeing-way to go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 28, 2008 Report Share Posted June 28, 2008 Talk about dealing with feelings without bingeing-way to go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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