Three Month Progress Report

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I figured I would give myself a 3 month Progress Report since it has been 3

months since I

read " Intuitive Eating " and started following the principles in the book.

It has been a very interesting and wonderful journey. The first two months were

very eye-

opening and challenging. I had no idea that I was using food to numb my emotions

and

that I ate so many times during the day and night just to block out my feelings.

Once I got

more tuned in, I realized even emotions caused by watching a movie could send me

to the

kitchen! I found it easy to stop eating at these times since I realized I wasn't

hungry. But

what was not easy was having to feel the feelings! I had no idea I had so much

anger and

resentment built up inside of me, some of it due to events long past, and some

due to my

present situation. Once I became aware of the feelings, I knew I had to take

action. I had

conversations with my family and they set up assessments for my mother (who has

Alzheimer's) and the end result is that after my caring for my mother in our

home in

Maine for more than seven years, my mother is now on a waiting list for a

nursing home.

It was a tough decision but very necessary if I am going to preserve what is

left of my

physical and mental health.

As far as the food and eating goes, the scariest part was making peace with cake

and

legalizing all foods. I did gain a few pounds during the first month as I was

coming to

grips with this and I did have some serious doubts a few times about the wisdom

of

keeping cake around the house all the time. I remember reading in the book that

eventually choosing a piece of cake for dessert would be no more exciting than a

peach. I

rolled my eyes and figured they were nuts. But I realized last week that for the

previous 2

weeks, I had not even wanted any cake and had been eating cherries for my

dessert. The

authors were right and it happened without my even being aware of it! When you

know

you can have cake whenever you want it, it is no big thrill. I still enjoy cake

very much, at

least the ones I make, but I also enjoy lovely fresh fruit for dessert.

The first month, I never went near a vegetable OR fruit. I associated those with

diets and

so my intuition said, " No fruit or veggies. " The second month, my body started

craving

fruit, but still no veggies. So I continued to feed my body what it wanted. The

third month,

my body actually started craving veggies again! Just in time for summer and

better tasting

produce!

I also have noticed my appetite has slowly but surely decreased and I am eating

smaller

portions. I also rarely require a snack as I did back in the bad old days of

diet/binge/diet/binge/ etc. I find when I go to restaurants now, I usually order

from the

appetizer menu since I no longer eat huge portions of food.

One thing I have continued to resist is exercise until about 2 weeks ago. I had

major

resistance to that, since I equated exercise with diet mentality. Two weeks ago,

I started

using my Wii sports games again. And last week I ordered some mini club bells

and a DVD

about circular strength training. Whether or not I use it remains to be seen,

but at least at

this point, I am open to the idea.

I got weighed a few weeks into the program and had gained seven pounds. (I am

sure

most of it was my usual 7 lb. gain of fluid from eating more carbs.) But seeing

the number

on the scale undid a lot of the progress I had made with I.E. and I even went

back to diet

world for about 2 days. I was amazed at how cut off I felt from my body during

that time. I

couldn't get in touch with my body OR my emotions, because I was giving all the

power to

the diet and not to my own mind and body. Two days of living in that hell and I

went

running back to Intuitive Eating.

I do believe I have lost some weight in the last month or two. My ankles look

like ankles

now, instead of softballs, and my legs have more definition. My face looks a

little smaller

and my clothes are a bit looser. And I suspect as I continue to eat less, and

eat more fruit

and veggies, and start exercising, the loss will continue. That sounds good to

me! I love

being able to eat my cake and lose weight too! :-)

I feel grateful each day for discovering this program. And I also am very

grateful for this

caring community and for all the support and understanding I receive here. I

am looking

forward to continuing on this journey.