Re: RA and friends

May 4, 2010

,

I read your post and I felt I had to reply. I'm not sure how old you are but

I'm 35 and I found out about my RA about three years ago. I can assure you that

while this disease use to be crippling there are so may medical advances that

have made the likelihood of disability/being crippled very low. Yes, there are

medications. And yes, some of them have side effects. However, they can be

managed and the best medical treatment plan can be put in place for you with the

least amount of effects to you. These medications slow or completely stop the

progression of RA to damaging your bones/joints. You don't have to look like

the 90 year old woman with her hands all screwy from RA.

As for the responses from friends and family. People who don't have a disease

or haven't known people with a disease are not the best resources for

information. My best suggestion is to join groups like this one and to educate

yourself through RA organizations and through your doctor and pass that

information along to family and friends as you feel comfortable. I'm not

surprised by what your Christian friend said. But I do have to wonder what kind

of " God " needs to make people suffer so he can have them turn to him in crisis?

But that is neither here nor there. I hope that you will not let the ignorance

of some continue to upset you.

None of us knows what the future holds and only the " universal force " or God or

whatever you believe in truly knows the future. Don't put yourself in the

ground before your time on fears of pain and suffering. However, do make your

wishes and feelings known in the form of a written will or advanced directive.

You can get more information about this at your local library or online. It is

important to have your wishes put into writing so that there is no doubt as to

what measures you want done at the end of your life. It also relieves the

burden on your love ones of having to decide these things.

I don't know your insurance status but you might want to consider therapy in

addition to whatever RA treatment you are receiving. Chronic illness and

disease can make one very depressed and is a difficult thing to accept and go

through. Some mental support from outside the family/friends might be a good

idea.

Just my two cents. I feel your pain.

~ Graves

[ ] RA and friends

After the results of a blood test indicated that I have RA, I have told a

few friends, and the reactions have been mixed. Some of the people have reacted

in utter horror, one friend told me of someone he knew, who has RA and is

completely crippled. I asked my uncle what he knew about RA, and he said that it

was a horrible disease that caused great pain and that the medicines often were

worse than the disease. When I told him he said, " Oh my god, I'm so sorry. " The

horror stories are really upsetting me.

Another friend of mine, a born again christian (I am not a christian) said that

the RA was god's way of " getting my attention " and " getting me to depend on him "

I.E. that I should become a Christian now. Why I would want to serve a god who

would inflict a disease on someone to get them to worship him I do not know.

Needless to say, that did not help.

The two friends who have been most helpful are the ones who have chronic

illnesses of their own. My friend with a mitochondrial disorder told me that I

would probably go through the stages- anger, depression, etc. She said it was

normal to have mood swings between them. I think that is what I am experiencing.

One minute I am mad at the world, another I'm depressed beyond all reasoning. My

other friend, who has severe diabetes and CP, said that it is ok to be mad, to

cry, to yell, etc. But to try and remind myself that there are things to be

done, medicine to be taken, and still hope that was not there twenty years ago.

I have been thinking about suicide a lot, at one point really considering it. My

best friend reminded me that it would end everything, not just the pain (both

physical and mental) that I might do something (take the pills, or whatever)

then change my mind when its too late. So said there would be no harm really in

waiting, in " putting it off " even if I do consider doing it in the future. Just

wait another day, then another day, etc. I am seeing my psychiatrist today and

attending my self-help group on depression, and I was going to mention how I'm

feeling. The temptation to just give up on life, is strong, but I am fighting it

for the time being.

I just wanted to update you all.

May 4, 2010

, I hope you told your psychiatrist about your thoughts of self harm.

Please keep the national suicide hotline number handy 1-800-273-TALK.

There is every reason to hope to live well with RA. I was first symptomatic at

28 and couldn't dress myself, walk far, or even eat bc of my jaw pain. 10 years

later, I am well controlled on Enbrel. I work full time, go to the gym, and I'm

expecting my third babe. Yes rA is serious. I respect it and actively manage it

with my lifestyle, great drug, and fab docs. But it hasn't taken away my life. I

am very happy and it has helped me work with people with disabilities and

chronic pain. Kate F

Sent from my iPhone

On May 4, 2010, at 3:09 AM, " clinicquotes " <sarah5775@...> wrote:

After the results of a blood test indicated that I have RA, I have told a few

friends, and the reactions have been mixed. Some of the people have reacted in

utter horror, one friend told me of someone he knew, who has RA and is