coping with chaos

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I have been doing ie since 4 days and I am doing pretty well. I am

still very afraid to eat non-diet food (I used to eat only permitted

food and then binge on pizza, chips and beer) but I managed to eat in

moderation some former no-no food for me like chocolate cookies and

blt sandwich. I feel great! I started walking and actually enjoyed

the scenery, noticing houses for the first time...

However, today was chaos. My 4 years old (who is add - attention

deficit disorder) went back home with my Mother in law, he had hit

her and attended swimming in a mud puddle and escaped naked in a

parking lot. I deal with stuff like that all the time. She was all

concerned and said I should get him therapy, blablabla, started to

lecture me and stuff, I said thank you very much for your help, I

will deal with this, we are doing fine. Then she left, it was o.k. We

explain to my son that it was not ok to hit and escape in parkings-

he knew it - and cut his computer time for today. He started to

scream and kick around - my husband opened a beer and I so wanted one

two, with chips, as a quick way to relax and escape. I could have

made that choice but I postponed it for a couple minutes.I remembered

something in the book I am reading, that if you eat when you are not

hungry, there is a need to be taken care of, and no food (or beer, in

my case) will take care of it. So I stepped outside and standed in my

garden (bad year for it - the rabbits got into it and too much rain)

and looked at it and took a couple deep deep breaths, and calm down.

I noticed some capers, and a new squash trying to grow. I felt ok. I

did not binge as I would usually do when chaos is around me. I even

got my son to sit at the table. I feel a little bit better about

myself. Thanks for listening.

Nat