Guest guest Posted March 24, 2008 Report Share Posted March 24, 2008 Hi ... I'm a mother of an almost 3 year old as well, plus almost 6 yr old and a 7 yr old -- all of whom have lyme. Sometimes, I can't even believe how we've been affected by these diseases. In any case, my 3 yr old was diagnosed when he was 1.5 yrs old mostly due to his sibling's and my illness and diagnoses. I actually thought he was fine -- other than him sleeping in his bed in the morning and not wanting to get out, and also having reflux and sometimes having throw-up in his bed in the morning, having some bronchial/coughing stuff, and very weird diaper rashes that didn't respond to normal diaper rash treatment, he appeared to be fine... though I was wondering about his slower language development (than his siblings). However, when he was tested, he had the most positive lyme test of all, and we uncovered multiple other infections -- including Bartonella, Babesia, and eventually Ehrlichia. We have been on various antibiotic and other treatments for over a year now, and my son went through many many herxes -- including dragging his leg around due to lyme/pain in hips. Most recent tests still show him with ACTIVE Babesia, and a very high Rheumotoid Arthritis titer -- yes, in a 3 year old. This is the amazing part (and scary...) -- for the most part, he still seems like a happy kid -- we believe that he probably got this from me -- breastfeeding (even though he tried to wean early...) after I started getting very sick -- I was infected with all of these diseases. The trouble with this age, is that they don't know what " normal " is, and they can't necessarily describe it. has had: headaches -- where I see him touch his head, and he has told me " owie " , sleep disruption -multiple wake-ups at night, night terrors (would think normal for a 3 yr old), scratch like and pimple like rashes, a hoarse voice, occasional dry cough, flushed cheeks and red ears, waking up sweaty at night, pain in his knee (very rare), dragging his leg, accommodating for the pain in his hip, pain in his teeth. But all very fleeting, and because he has just coped so well -- if we didn't have the context of the family, it wouldn't seem that bad. The other aspect that we noticed, without help from our pediatrician, is that 's growth took a real nose-dive... he went from being 80-90% percentile in height to falling off of the growth chart (percentiles) entirely. My pediatrician never mentioned the change in his growth pattern or looked for underlying causes. With 3 kids and a crazy household and my work (I'm a management consultant and co-owner of the consulting practice), I didn't notice for a while that I wasn't going thru clothes like I usually did as my kids grew. After antibiotic treatment, we have seen his growth begin to pick up -- but because we are still fighting active infections, it has not fully recovered yet. Also, after we started antibiotic treatment, 's language blossomed dramatically -- this could have been just normal development, but it was awfully coincidental -- and he just seemed so much more " tuned in " to everything. Lastly -- I have found that my " lyme " kids have intense cravings for sugar including carbohydrates -- I think of it as the lyme bugs saying " feed me " ... we have worked really hard to have as low carb -- low sugar a diet as possible as this really makes all of it much worse. I can see a big difference when my kids do have sugar... and we have had a few yeast issues, even with acidopholus, florastor (a great probiotic product), yogurt, and Kefir... so sugar management is really important. Sorry for length of message -- hope this helps! Feel free to email -- fwagner@... **************Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on AOL Home. (http://home.aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15?ncid=aolhom00030\ 000000001) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2008 Report Share Posted March 24, 2008 Welcome and sorry to hear about your boy. The other post covered your questions, but I have just a couple of things to add. About the negative Western Blot, what bands (if any) showed up? Some doctors call it negative when it does not meet CDC criteria. This link will explain what to look for. http://www.wildernetwork.org/Understanding_Western_Blot.html Also, most Western Blots don't check for every lyme specific antibody bands. I believe IgeneX tests for them all. Also, some are too sick to produce the antibodies. Retesting after treatment (about 3 weeks after) may help get a positive test. About sugar, yeast can be as big a problem as lyme. Symptoms and removal of yeast can be as bad as lyme. Reduction of sugar is a must. As stated in the other post, sugar also feeds the lyme. So it's bad stuff. Common sugar substitutes are worse. My LLMD told me to use real sugar if I have to make something sweet for my son. Aspartame (NutraSweet) is a neurotoxin. Splenda is a chemical too ( " tastes like sugar because it is made from sugar " is like saying hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) is made from water (H2O)). I have to stress that you use natural sweeteners (like Stevia and " Just like Sugar " ). Stay away from aspartame! http://www.justlikesugarinc.com/ I hope your son finds good health soon. It saddens my heart to hear another one suffering. Take care, Rich (skiweasel7) P.S. How is your health doing? > > Hi All- > I am the mother of a 3 year old boy that was just diagnosed with > Lyme. His screening test came back positive, and his Western Blot > negative. But I'm sure it is Lyme that he has. (I also have a friend > with Chronic Lyme- and know how hard it can be to diagnose.) Anyway, > woke up a week ago with a limp, next day couldn't walk... > complained of a sore knee. When I started to think about it- he had > limped on other mornings but it never lasted more than minutes in the > morning and it was only maybe once a month. Other clue was 2 months > ago I had him at the dr. for a stomach ache that he had been > complaining about for 4 days. Of course cbc's and urine came back > normal then. > So this time I requested that they do a lyme test. Dr. in the ER > actually said to me " It's too early for ticks to be out. " Like a boy > with arthritis caused by lyme got bit by a tick yesterday! I can't > believe they don't know more about lyme in this area. Northern > Wisconsin... what I'm thinking could compete for the title of Lyme > Capitol USA? Anyway, the nurse practioner prescribed amoxicillin for > 3 weeks. Said he should be fine after that and we'd have to watch his > symptoms. I unfortunately knew better and scheduled an appointment > with my dr. and requested he consult the LLMD that was nearby. He > said 4-8 weeks oral amoxicillin. The other LLMD in the area said she > would do IV for 6 weeks. We are trying the oral, hoping that will be > a good start. > I still need to get an appointment with the LLMD to go over other > things we need to be doing. But I know it is a 2 month wait to see > the LLMD. > Question- I've heard about the sugar problem with abx. My 3 year > old (barely 3- he's 37 months old) lives on sugar, and is an > impossibly picky eater. Will for sure have yeast problems if he > doesn't stop the sugar? What should his diet consist of? > > Any other advice or help anyone has would be greatly appreciated. > I think most likely has had Lyme since late last summer. He did > have a sick period last March where he had severely high fever 106- > and chills and dr. diagnosed bronchitis- radiologist disagreed. I'm > hoping this wasn't the start of his lyme, for that would mean he's > had it for over a year. He was healthy from April-August with no dr. > appts or issues. It wasn't until last fall the ear infections, > random fevers, a few skin rashes began. And the random limp that > would appear from time to time. I'm kicking myself for not getting > him tested sooner. > > One last thing- should I bring him to an optomalogist (sp?) or > neurologist? Is there a way to check for neurological symptoms in a > 3 year old? Sorry for the length of this first post. is for > the most part a happy, active 3 year old... with the occasional joint > pain. I'm so praying this can be treated and controlled. > > Thanks in advance for your time, and your advice! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Just a quick note to thank all of you for your responses. I am overwhelmed by your outpouring of advice and concern. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my lengthy post. I am digesting the info, and may follow up with each of you thru email when I get my thoughts sorted out. I am now concerned thay my 5 year old also has Lyme, or at the very least another tick borne infection. (He previously tested negative on a Lyme screening 2-3 years ago- but was treated for 3 weeks on abx just solely on symptoms.) I have one curious symptom I'm wondering if anyone has seen before. When my five year old was between 2-3 he had a strange rash on the palms of his hands. It was pimply like but confined to his hands. My doctor treated it with steroid cream and it eventually cleared up. Has anyone seen this symptom? Thank you again for your help... and I'm keeping all of you in my prayers. P.S. I'm still learning the format on this message board- so feel free to educate me if I am incorrectly posting questions on old topics? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2008 Report Share Posted March 25, 2008 Yes, we saw that in my oldest daughter. Don't be surprised if it also appears on his feet. The doctor seeing this is what caused him to test her for Lyme. Don't let anyone fool you into believing it is only spread by ticks because this was the result of 3 mosquito bites, a trip to the ER, a steroid dose pack, a trip to the doc thank goodness he is LLMD, complete 800 dollars of blood work, a trip back to the doc after hands, feet, and both butt cheeks broke out like you are describing you sons hands, Lyme test, antibiotics for 6 months with diflucan every week, a withdrawn nursing class, but success was with her it was caught much earlier than my youngest. Jeanette 's Favorites 6904 Honeysuckle Ln Theodore, AL 36582 251-583-1470 251-895-1396 In a message dated 3/24/2008 9:16:37 P.M. Central Daylight Time, natalielrasmussen@... writes: Just a quick note to thank all of you for your responses. I am overwhelmed by your outpouring of advice and concern. Thank you for taking the time to respond to my lengthy post. I am digesting the info, and may follow up with each of you thru email when I get my thoughts sorted out. I am now concerned thay my 5 year old also has Lyme, or at the very least another tick borne infection. (He previously tested negative on a Lyme screening 2-3 years ago- but was treated for 3 weeks on abx just solely on symptoms.) I have one curious symptom I'm wondering if anyone has seen before. When my five year old was between 2-3 he had a strange rash on the palms of his hands. It was pimply like but confined to his hands. My doctor treated it with steroid cream and it eventually cleared up. Has anyone seen this symptom? Thank you again for your help... and I'm keeping all of you in my prayers. P.S. I'm still learning the format on this message board- so feel free to educate me if I am incorrectly posting questions on old topics? ------------------------------------ The book, Confronting Lyme Disease: What Patient Stories Teach Us is now available through Amazon and Booksurge Bookstores. Please visit the official website at http://www.confrontinglyme.com for more information. Links **************Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on AOL Home. (http://home.aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15?ncid=aolhom00030\ 000000001) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Welcome to the group. I think there are tons of people here with lots of experiences to share. I'd also recommend a LOT of reading. I think someone might know what websites are best. I just do a lot of browsing and reading but it helps. Take care.Deb S On 4/3/08, melissa_gurski <melissa_gurski@...> wrote: hello my son is 6years old diagnosed with aspergers in january by a clinic, then the school system tested him and said he was a half a point away from being autistic what that means i dont know this is all new to me and i have know one to talk to. I found this web sight and thought hey maybe people like me.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Hi , Welcome to the group from another newbie The people here are wonderful and you'll probably find that you and your son have SO much in common with the others here. I've gotten so much feedback, so much encouragement, and so much information. I can't tell you how happy I am I've found this place. I hope you will get that much and more out of being here. Rebmelissa_gurski <melissa_gurski@...> wrote: hello my son is 6years old diagnosed with aspergers in january by a clinic, then the school system tested him and said he was a half a point away from being autistic what that means i dont know this is all new to me and i have know one to talk to. I found this web sight and thought hey maybe people like me.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Hi Debbie, Welcome. You'll find there are alot of Aspie's (people with Asperger's) out there. Why the school told you your child was 1/2 a point away from being autistic is odd to me. Asperger's (as you probably know by now) is on the autism spectrum, which has a very wide range. You will learn alot by reading up about it. I did. And you'll get alot of information from this sight. People are generally very helpful here. Good luck to you. Sharon > > > > hello my son is 6years old diagnosed with aspergers in january by a > > clinic, then the school system tested him and said he was a half a > > point away from being autistic what that means i dont know this is all > > new to me and i have know one to talk to. I found this web sight and > > thought hey maybe people like me.. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2008 Report Share Posted April 3, 2008 Means, he doesn't have autism as far as the school is concerned so they don't have to provide services...that would be MY interpretation; welcome to world of school garbage we all have been in at one time or another or never ending!! Ruthie Dolezal From: kajnlady1@...Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2008 14:09:28 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) new member Hi , Welcome to the group from another newbie The people here are wonderful and you'll probably find that you and your son have SO much in common with the others here. I've gotten so much feedback, so much encouragement, and so much information. I can't tell you how happy I am I've found this place. I hope you will get that much and more out of being here. Rebmelissa_gurski <melissa_gurski > wrote: hello my son is 6years old diagnosed with aspergers in january by a clinic, then the school system tested him and said he was a half a point away from being autistic what that means i dont know this is all new to me and i have know one to talk to. I found this web sight and thought hey maybe people like me.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 Welcome, . I'm Robin. You'll love this site. Take a deep breath,,,,,,,,,,,,,you and your son will be fine. Just in his own way. And,,,,, isn't that like all of us? Have a super day!! Robin Wallbank <w_wittmayer@...> wrote: Hello Everyone, I want to take an opportunity to introduce myself. We received a ASD (Aspergers) diagnosis for our son a year ago June. Since that time, I have been very focused on making sure he gets what he needs from the school system. Making sure he gets what he needs in private therapy. I've had little time to digest everything the Dr's and professionals have said about my son's development. The autism specialist gave us a 40 page report on all the testing. Today was the first time I read it. A year later. We took his advice for the IEP meeting. But, I couldn't bring myself to read the results of the testing. I have always known he is very high-functioning. He does not display all the classic signs of Aspergers. But, he displays enough to render the diagnosis. My son is the second boy in the family to be diagnosed with AS. However, the boys are very different. We are working our way through this. I'm here to get more knowledge and to connect with others who have children on the spectrum. You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 theysay in three years when they test him again he will test as autistic > he started working with an ot, autism woman comes in and makes recommendations, and the school psych comes in, but hes goin in the first grade cant read, or write, and they dont want him to have an aide and im bothered by that sohes meeting is next month and were going to push hard for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2008 Report Share Posted April 4, 2008 Hi and welcome to the group! I think you'll find this a friendly, supportive and informative group. I know I'm happy that I found it. It is a lot to take in, isn't it? I completely understand you not being able to read the doc's report in the beginning. Once you finally read it after living with the dx for a year, how did you feel? Mims Wallbank <w_wittmayer@...> wrote: Hello Everyone, I want to take an opportunity to introduce myself. We received a ASD (Aspergers) diagnosis for our son a year ago June. Since that time, I have been very focused on making sure he gets what he needs from the school system. Making sure he gets what he needs in private therapy. I've had little time to digest everything the Dr's and professionals have said about my son's development. The autism specialist gave us a 40 page report on all the testing. Today was the first time I read it. A year later. We took his advice for the IEP meeting. But, I couldn't bring myself to read the results of the testing. I have always known he is very high-functioning. He does not display all the classic signs of Aspergers. But, he displays enough to render the diagnosis. My son is the second boy in the family to be diagnosed with AS. However, the boys are very different. We are working our way through this. I'm here to get more knowledge and to connect with others who have children on the spectrum. You rock. That's why Blockbuster's offering you one month of Blockbuster Total Access, No Cost. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2008 Report Share Posted May 11, 2008 Welcome to the group. 1.yes, it will correct. they way it works is it hold the growth in the prominent areas, so new growth is directed to the flat areas. Let's say he was laying on a mattress before so the new growth went to the sides instead of that back. Well now the (gentle) pressure is on the sides, so they growth will go where the helmet has more room, in the back (or where ever the flat spot is). 2. most kids aren't bothered so long as the helmet fits well. At first it may need to be adjusted a few times. Also getting used to sleeping in it takes a little longer. 3.it ranges from about once per week to once in three weeks depending on the baby's age and the ortho. 4. Usually a model is made of the baby's head using a digital scanner or a plaster mold. The helmet is made from this so it is touching the prominent areas, and has extra room in the flat areas. Once it is ready they fit it by cutting the ear holes, and forehead area a little as needed, and adjust it by removing a little of the foam liner where needed to make more room for growth. There were some Australian members, not sure if they are active right now. The majority of members are from the US, but there are some from all around. -christine sydney 2 yrs starband grad. > > Hi, > I am new to this group and thought I should introduce myself. My > name is Alison and I live in Burnie, Tasmania, Australia. I have two > children, Fletcher 4 years old and Spencer 7 months old. I have > joined this group because Spencer will be fitted with a corrective > helmet very soon. We have tried to correct the flattening of his > head ourselves, with counter-positioning and re-positioning, but > haven't had a lot of success. So our paediatric physio has referred > us to orthotics for a corrective helmet, we are waiting on the > details of an appointment at the moment. Suprisingly we aren't too > concerned about the idea of the helmet, I guess because we have had > tough times in the past with my eldest child being in a hip spica > plaster from 7 months till 10 months for CHD (Congenital Hip > Dislocation). If anything I have a lot of questions about the helmet: > > 1. I know it will prevent my sons head from getting any worse, but > will it also help the head get back to the correct shape? I would > have thought once the head was moulded to a particular shape it > would stay that way. > > 2. Will my son be bothered by the helmet? > > 3. I have read that corrective helmets have to be adjusted every two > weeks. Is this right? > > 4. How does the fitting for a corrective helmet work? > > Would be so great if someone can answer my questions for me. Also > wondering if there are any other Australian members in this group. > > Cheers, > Alison J Connelly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 Hi , Thanks for your very welcome reply. You have given me the answers that I needed. Thanks so much Cheers, Alison. > > > > Hi, > > I am new to this group and thought I should introduce myself. My > > name is Alison and I live in Burnie, Tasmania, Australia. I have two > > children, Fletcher 4 years old and Spencer 7 months old. I have > > joined this group because Spencer will be fitted with a corrective > > helmet very soon. We have tried to correct the flattening of his > > head ourselves, with counter-positioning and re-positioning, but > > haven't had a lot of success. So our paediatric physio has referred > > us to orthotics for a corrective helmet, we are waiting on the > > details of an appointment at the moment. Suprisingly we aren't too > > concerned about the idea of the helmet, I guess because we have had > > tough times in the past with my eldest child being in a hip spica > > plaster from 7 months till 10 months for CHD (Congenital Hip > > Dislocation). If anything I have a lot of questions about the helmet: > > > > 1. I know it will prevent my sons head from getting any worse, but > > will it also help the head get back to the correct shape? I would > > have thought once the head was moulded to a particular shape it > > would stay that way. > > > > 2. Will my son be bothered by the helmet? > > > > 3. I have read that corrective helmets have to be adjusted every two > > weeks. Is this right? > > > > 4. How does the fitting for a corrective helmet work? > > > > Would be so great if someone can answer my questions for me. Also > > wondering if there are any other Australian members in this group. > > > > Cheers, > > Alison J Connelly > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 12, 2008 Report Share Posted May 12, 2008 Welcome Alison- I think did a great job of answering your questions. I just had one for you, do you know what kind of helmet you would be getting? The helmet and adjustments that explained are for active helmets (plastic shell with a foam liner that is periodically shaved out to encourage growth in the flat areas), but there are also passive helmets out there (just a plastic shell that the head grows into, no adjustments are made). I just wondered if you have the same banding options that most of us do, or are you limited to one kind? Jake-20m (tort resolved/rt plagio/DOCBand) Jordan-4 > > > > > > Hi, > > > I am new to this group and thought I should introduce myself. My > > > name is Alison and I live in Burnie, Tasmania, Australia. I have > two > > > children, Fletcher 4 years old and Spencer 7 months old. I have > > > joined this group because Spencer will be fitted with a > corrective > > > helmet very soon. We have tried to correct the flattening of his > > > head ourselves, with counter-positioning and re-positioning, but > > > haven't had a lot of success. So our paediatric physio has > referred > > > us to orthotics for a corrective helmet, we are waiting on the > > > details of an appointment at the moment. Suprisingly we aren't > too > > > concerned about the idea of the helmet, I guess because we have > had > > > tough times in the past with my eldest child being in a hip > spica > > > plaster from 7 months till 10 months for CHD (Congenital Hip > > > Dislocation). If anything I have a lot of questions about the > helmet: > > > > > > 1. I know it will prevent my sons head from getting any worse, > but > > > will it also help the head get back to the correct shape? I > would > > > have thought once the head was moulded to a particular shape it > > > would stay that way. > > > > > > 2. Will my son be bothered by the helmet? > > > > > > 3. I have read that corrective helmets have to be adjusted every > two > > > weeks. Is this right? > > > > > > 4. How does the fitting for a corrective helmet work? > > > > > > Would be so great if someone can answer my questions for me. > Also > > > wondering if there are any other Australian members in this > group. > > > > > > Cheers, > > > Alison J Connelly > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 13, 2008 Report Share Posted May 13, 2008 >ummmm i wish i lived in australia, does that count???? lets see my daughter has only had a helmet for 4 days, but our doc says that yes it will mold her head back to round shape, the head starts to become hard at around 1 year of age.....i think every baby is diff....my daughter is already used to helmet(except for at night) we dont have to have our helmet adjusted at all, i think that might be just bands, and our fitting was the laser one where you just lay down baby in a tube thing with an open top and its done kinda like a scan....baby just has to stay very still and very painless for us anyhow....hope it helps....mandy > Hi, > I am new to this group and thought I should introduce myself. My > name is Alison and I live in Burnie, Tasmania, Australia. I have two > children, Fletcher 4 years old and Spencer 7 months old. I have > joined this group because Spencer will be fitted with a corrective > helmet very soon. We have tried to correct the flattening of his > head ourselves, with counter-positioning and re-positioning, but > haven't had a lot of success. So our paediatric physio has referred > us to orthotics for a corrective helmet, we are waiting on the > details of an appointment at the moment. Suprisingly we aren't too > concerned about the idea of the helmet, I guess because we have had > tough times in the past with my eldest child being in a hip spica > plaster from 7 months till 10 months for CHD (Congenital Hip > Dislocation). If anything I have a lot of questions about the helmet: > > 1. I know it will prevent my sons head from getting any worse, but > will it also help the head get back to the correct shape? I would > have thought once the head was moulded to a particular shape it > would stay that way. > > 2. Will my son be bothered by the helmet? > > 3. I have read that corrective helmets have to be adjusted every two > weeks. Is this right? > > 4. How does the fitting for a corrective helmet work? > > Would be so great if someone can answer my questions for me. Also > wondering if there are any other Australian members in this group. > > Cheers, > Alison J Connelly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 26, 2008 Report Share Posted May 26, 2008 Hi , I really don't have any advice but I just wanted to welcome you to the group. It's a good place to vent. There are a few folks here with teens--but I'm not one of them yet fortunately. I'm not handling a 9 y.o. and 6 y.o. all that well, so not looking forward to teenagers. My only thought is to try some counseling with her. Maybe a therapist will help her realize how her actions are affecting you. Hang in there! > > Hi Everyone: > > I am new to this group and seeking support. I have an 18 year old > daughter with PDD and ADHD that we home schooled. She graduated from > high school one year early, but is unable to pass most tests. She > tested out at a very low IQ, but is very bright in some areas. > > I am going stark raving mad now and have been for the past several > years. She is very forgetful, doesn't lift a finger to help out > around the house or with the horses, of which we wouldn't have if it > weren't for her, and is now attending Jr, College and not doing so > well. Iam at my wits end as to how to survive with her at home and > what to do about her future. > > Around the house she creates extreme messes because she never puts > anything away, never picks up after herself, but merely throws > everything into the floor. Laundry is a nighmare as she cannot seem > to distinguish between toilet paper and towels! Her habits in the > past have been to fill the toilet with toilet paper and other bodily > excrement until it is overflowing and never flushes. In response, we > had automatic flushers installed, which she covers up and doesn't > use. The flushing has become somewhat better, but not cured. She > still urinates in her bed often and more so when I loose it because > of her lying to me. By the way, she is a pathological and > incompetent liar, frequently being found out, but continuing to lie > as to avoid getting in trouble. > > My husband works more than full time and I have raised my daughter > pretty much alone. He has in the last few years been taking her to > ball games and has game night where friends come over and play board > games, which my daughter loves. However, I am beside myself as to > how to live in this world with someone as disorganized and mess > creating and lying as my daughter. By the way, my husband and I are > still married but live separately because my daughter and I have four > horses and he was tired of paying boarding fees. So he bought us a > farm about 45 minutes away from where he lives. He didn't want to > relocate because he didn't want to commute. It is just as well, > because he is very AHDH and leaves messes everywhere, and I was very > cranky picking up after the two of them...not to mention their > constant talking! > > I love my daughter and I love my husband, but they both are taking > years off my life! My house is a mess and dirtier than I like to > admit because at 61, I just don't have the energy anymore to > continually pick up and clean up after even one other person. Thes > messes take all of the energy out of me just looking at them. And I > have a farm with four horses and an acre of property, not to mention > the pasture of 2 1/2 acres to keep up. I feel as though things are > falling down around me and all I can do is either drink or sleep! > > The one saving grace I have is that I have met two women to go out > riding with about two times a week...this is my therapy. To go out > on my horse into the mountains is absolute Nirvana! I live for > riding my horse. > > The problem is that I really need to do something to get my daughter > set up for her own life and I am not sure how to do that. I thought > that perhaps she could get a certificate as a library technician, but > the requirements have several academic classes that seem to be beyond > her reach. This not only with her inability to seem to understand > what is required to keep a house and clean up after oneself is > overwhelming to me. And, of course, being a teenager, she won't > listen to anything I say...I am the enemy! > > Does anyone else on the planet have any problems similar to mine? If > so, what do you do????? > > Thanks for listening. I really need to vent and find something to do > to keep my sanity. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 , I wish I had a solution for you, but I CAN tell you that you are describing my 23 year old son exactly. The ADD and disorganization are so hard to deal with and we have tried everything in the way of reward and punishment. If I had 24 hours a day to stand over him and MAKE him put away everything he touches, that is the only way I see it so you just trade one kind of torment for another. (LOL) ly, I never signed on to parenthood to be a drill seargent. If I could have hired one to ride him, I would have in a minute. The one thing that helped slightly was to remove as much from his room as I felt was possible. We took away all clothes except for one week's worth. Oh, and we use 3 laundry baskets sitting on top of dresser (drawers are all EMPTY), so clean clothes are (sometimes) sorted into pants, shirts and undies. This helped more than anything. If I were hard-hearted enough, his room would resemble a jail cell (LOL) but I don't quite have the heart to take away that much stuff. Of course, this does nothing to address the kitchen issue! He and the garbage can are total strangers. He is away at school now in JobCorps and they have daily room inspections and I am thankful daily that I have some reprieve. But this is not a solution for all kids, by any means. I hoped that after a couple of months in this structured environment it would help. But I can tell you after he was home this weekend there was not one bit of difference. There are CD's (NOT in cases) all over his floor, the bath towel (wet) dropped where he left it. All kinds of headsets with cords inviting his chair to roll over and smash them, books...oh, and ALL of the dresser drawers are half open! Yes, we told him to clean it up before he did this or that all weekend. But, you know the kind of standing-over-them-screaming yelling-battle back and forth that you can spend all your living minutes doing to make this happen! And after 18+ years I am pretty darn tired of it! Anyway, I sympathize and I wish I had lots of solutions that worked. DS IQ same way, like a roller coaster. The disorganization costs him so much in time spent looking for lost keys,etc. But, until he (or she) makes up their mind to do something about it...I don't think there's much you can do to change them. Is there any program you can get her into where she might live independently and work on those skill with someone other than Mom? Best of luck...any suggestions from the group? Sue in TN > > > > Hi Everyone: > > > > I am new to this group and seeking support. I have an 18 year old > > daughter with PDD and ADHD that we home schooled. She graduated from > > high school one year early, but is unable to pass most tests. She > > tested out at a very low IQ, but is very bright in some areas. > > > > I am going stark raving mad now and have been for the past several > > years. She is very forgetful, doesn't lift a finger to help out > > around the house or with the horses, of which we wouldn't have if it > > weren't for her, and is now attending Jr, College and not doing so > > well. Iam at my wits end as to how to survive with her at home and > > what to do about her future. > > > > Around the house she creates extreme messes because she never puts > > anything away, never picks up after herself, but merely throws > > everything into the floor. Laundry is a nighmare as she cannot seem > > to distinguish between toilet paper and towels! Her habits in the > > past have been to fill the toilet with toilet paper and other bodily > > excrement until it is overflowing and never flushes. In response, we > > had automatic flushers installed, which she covers up and doesn't > > use. The flushing has become somewhat better, but not cured. She > > still urinates in her bed often and more so when I loose it because > > of her lying to me. By the way, she is a pathological and > > incompetent liar, frequently being found out, but continuing to lie > > as to avoid getting in trouble. > > > > My husband works more than full time and I have raised my daughter > > pretty much alone. He has in the last few years been taking her to > > ball games and has game night where friends come over and play board > > games, which my daughter loves. However, I am beside myself as to > > how to live in this world with someone as disorganized and mess > > creating and lying as my daughter. By the way, my husband and I are > > still married but live separately because my daughter and I have four > > horses and he was tired of paying boarding fees. So he bought us a > > farm about 45 minutes away from where he lives. He didn't want to > > relocate because he didn't want to commute. It is just as well, > > because he is very AHDH and leaves messes everywhere, and I was very > > cranky picking up after the two of them...not to mention their > > constant talking! > > > > I love my daughter and I love my husband, but they both are taking > > years off my life! My house is a mess and dirtier than I like to > > admit because at 61, I just don't have the energy anymore to > > continually pick up and clean up after even one other person. Thes > > messes take all of the energy out of me just looking at them. And I > > have a farm with four horses and an acre of property, not to mention > > the pasture of 2 1/2 acres to keep up. I feel as though things are > > falling down around me and all I can do is either drink or sleep! > > > > The one saving grace I have is that I have met two women to go out > > riding with about two times a week...this is my therapy. To go out > > on my horse into the mountains is absolute Nirvana! I live for > > riding my horse. > > > > The problem is that I really need to do something to get my daughter > > set up for her own life and I am not sure how to do that. I thought > > that perhaps she could get a certificate as a library technician, but > > the requirements have several academic classes that seem to be beyond > > her reach. This not only with her inability to seem to understand > > what is required to keep a house and clean up after oneself is > > overwhelming to me. And, of course, being a teenager, she won't > > listen to anything I say...I am the enemy! > > > > Does anyone else on the planet have any problems similar to mine? If > > so, what do you do????? > > > > Thanks for listening. I really need to vent and find something to do > > to keep my sanity. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Thank you for the welcome to the group and for the support. Thank you Sue in TN so much for the sharing of information about your son. You are the first person, including my therapist who never got it, that seems to understand what I am going through and have been through for 18 years. I moved out of my parents home by 18 and was on my own and not that I expected my daughter to move out, but a little independence and a little help...yes I was waiting for that to click in. It is so debilitating to me, and frustrating, to have an adult, no make that two adults, that are so disorganized and dependent upon someone else picking up after them in order to have any semblance of normalcy in their lives. It does help some living separately from my husband because I don't have to pick up after him quite as much, but I still have to go and wade through mountains of clutter at our other house! I just didn't realize that people could be like this when I married my husband. I had seen bachelor homes before and not one of them was orderly or clean, so his didn't seem that much different. But what I didn't realize for quite some time is that my husband is not only ADHD, but a hoarder...and there is just me to pick up and clean up after these two walking disasters in my homes. The therapist I went to for several years understood the massive disorganization that my husband and daughter created, but never got how nothing I did would change anything. She and everyone I know would just say I wasn't being consistent and firm enough with my daughter. I always told them the only way I could get compliance out of her if I would tie her up, gag her and throw her in a closet...then there would be no more messes except for the closet! :-) Of course, that is nothing I would ever do but in my fantasies.....! People just don't understand unless they have lived with someone like this. Everyone acts as though I am either crazy or lazy or both to still have these problems when my daughter is now 18 years old. What happens to these kids when the parents are gone? I don't know if she will ever be able to keep a job. She has such an attitude problem and is so NOT detail oriented that I can't imagine anyone paying her anything to do nothing, which is what she enjoys the most! Some days are just so overwhelming I can barely do anything at all. The only thing I have any energy for is to ride my horse and sometimes even that is too much work. My husband, although is a mess at home, is very well organized in his job and is very successful. He's very bright and out thinks everyone else that I know. Unfortunately, my daughter did not inherit his intellect, just his disorganization! Oh well, I am sorry for venting, but I have felt so alone in all of this. Even my husband doesn't get it because he has been working while I have been home raising our daughter and dealing with her mood swings, crappy attitude and disorganization. The disorganization seems normal to him because he and his family are all that way, but the mood swings, of course when daddy is with her, she is just so happy to be away from me and with him, it takes awhile for her grumpy self to show up, so he only gets a taste of what I live with 24/7. I am sorry again for venting, but thanks for letting me be here and thanks for the feedback. Even if no one has any solutions, just knowing that someone else understands the problem helps. Thanks, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Hi And Welcome...I'm sure some of the others will have lots of good ideas for you...my dd is only 4 yo so I'm afraid I cant offer much... By the way.,...where do you live ~, Mom to....Cassie 17 yo PCOSAustin 15 yo ADHDa 4 yo HFA/AS & SPD/SID ( ) New Member Hi Everyone:I am new to this group and seeking support. I have an 18 year old daughter with PDD and ADHD that we home schooled. She graduated from high school one year early, but is unable to pass most tests. She tested out at a very low IQ, but is very bright in some areas.I am going stark raving mad now and have been for the past several years. She is very forgetful, doesn't lift a finger to help out around the house or with the horses, of which we wouldn't have if it weren't for her, and is now attending Jr, College and not doing so well. Iam at my wits end as to how to survive with her at home and what to do about her future.Around the house she creates extreme messes because she never puts anything away, never picks up after herself, but merely throws everything into the floor. Laundry is a nighmare as she cannot seem to distinguish between toilet paper and towels! Her habits in the past have been to fill the toilet with toilet paper and other bodily excrement until it is overflowing and never flushes. In response, we had automatic flushers installed, which she covers up and doesn't use. The flushing has become somewhat better, but not cured. She still urinates in her bed often and more so when I loose it because of her lying to me. By the way, she is a pathological and incompetent liar, frequently being found out, but continuing to lie as to avoid getting in trouble.My husband works more than full time and I have raised my daughter pretty much alone. He has in the last few years been taking her to ball games and has game night where friends come over and play board games, which my daughter loves. However, I am beside myself as to how to live in this world with someone as disorganized and mess creating and lying as my daughter. By the way, my husband and I are still married but live separately because my daughter and I have four horses and he was tired of paying boarding fees. So he bought us a farm about 45 minutes away from where he lives. He didn't want to relocate because he didn't want to commute. It is just as well, because he is very AHDH and leaves messes everywhere, and I was very cranky picking up after the two of them...not to mention their constant talking!I love my daughter and I love my husband, but they both are taking years off my life! My house is a mess and dirtier than I like to admit because at 61, I just don't have the energy anymore to continually pick up and clean up after even one other person. Thes messes take all of the energy out of me just looking at them. And I have a farm with four horses and an acre of property, not to mention the pasture of 2 1/2 acres to keep up. I feel as though things are falling down around me and all I can do is either drink or sleep!The one saving grace I have is that I have met two women to go out riding with about two times a week...this is my therapy. To go out on my horse into the mountains is absolute Nirvana! I live for riding my horse.The problem is that I really need to do something to get my daughter set up for her own life and I am not sure how to do that. I thought that perhaps she could get a certificate as a library technician, but the requirements have several academic classes that seem to be beyond her reach. This not only with her inability to seem to understand what is required to keep a house and clean up after oneself is overwhelming to me. And, of course, being a teenager, she won't listen to anything I say...I am the enemy!Does anyone else on the planet have any problems similar to mine? If so, what do you do?????Thanks for listening. I really need to vent and find something to do to keep my sanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Hi : Thanks for the welcome. I live in the Seattle area. Where do you live? C wrote: > Hi And Welcome...I'm sure some of the others will have lots of good > ideas for you...my dd is only 4 yo so I'm afraid I cant offer much... > By the way.,...where do you live > ~, Mom to.... > Cassie 17 yo PCOS > Austin 15 yo ADHD > a 4 yo HFA/AS & SPD/SID > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 , feel free to vent away, most of us understand what you are going through, unlike the rest of the general population who's solution is usually something like " make a to do list for them with check offs. " That's a good one! Don't you wish you could just send your child over to live with them and their " to-do " lists for about a month! Sorry, to those for whom it works. Hang in there...I don't know if your state has any residential programs that might work for both of you? Or your county. Our county doesn't but surrounding ones do, with various amounts of supervision, work programs and schooling. Sounds like your daughter falls thru the cracks like my son. IQ tests marginal, but he is much higher ability than what these places are designed for...yet, cannot live on his own at this point. Hugs to you, keep riding, sound like that is great for your sanity. Sue in TN > > Thank you for the welcome to the group and for the support. > > Thank you Sue in TN so much for the sharing of information about your > son. You are the first person, including my therapist who never got it, > that seems to understand what I am going through and have been through > for 18 years. I moved out of my parents home by 18 and was on my own > and not that I expected my daughter to move out, but a little > independence and a little help...yes I was waiting for that to click > in. It is so debilitating to me, and frustrating, to have an adult, no > make that two adults, that are so disorganized and dependent upon > someone else picking up after them in order to have any semblance of > normalcy in their lives. It does help some living separately from my > husband because I don't have to pick up after him quite as much, but I > still have to go and wade through mountains of clutter at our other house! > > I just didn't realize that people could be like this when I married my > husband. I had seen bachelor homes before and not one of them was > orderly or clean, so his didn't seem that much different. But what I > didn't realize for quite some time is that my husband is not only ADHD, > but a hoarder...and there is just me to pick up and clean up after these > two walking disasters in my homes. > > The therapist I went to for several years understood the massive > disorganization that my husband and daughter created, but never got how > nothing I did would change anything. She and everyone I know would just > say I wasn't being consistent and firm enough with my daughter. I > always told them the only way I could get compliance out of her if I > would tie her up, gag her and throw her in a closet...then there would > be no more messes except for the closet! :-) Of course, that is nothing > I would ever do but in my fantasies.....! People just don't understand > unless they have lived with someone like this. Everyone acts as though > I am either crazy or lazy or both to still have these problems when my > daughter is now 18 years old. > > What happens to these kids when the parents are gone? I don't know if > she will ever be able to keep a job. She has such an attitude problem > and is so NOT detail oriented that I can't imagine anyone paying her > anything to do nothing, which is what she enjoys the most! Some days > are just so overwhelming I can barely do anything at all. The only > thing I have any energy for is to ride my horse and sometimes even that > is too much work. My husband, although is a mess at home, is very well > organized in his job and is very successful. He's very bright and out > thinks everyone else that I know. Unfortunately, my daughter did not > inherit his intellect, just his disorganization! > > Oh well, I am sorry for venting, but I have felt so alone in all of > this. Even my husband doesn't get it because he has been working while > I have been home raising our daughter and dealing with her mood swings, > crappy attitude and disorganization. The disorganization seems normal > to him because he and his family are all that way, but the mood swings, > of course when daddy is with her, she is just so happy to be away from > me and with him, it takes awhile for her grumpy self to show up, so he > only gets a taste of what I live with 24/7. > > I am sorry again for venting, but thanks for letting me be here and > thanks for the feedback. Even if no one has any solutions, just knowing > that someone else understands the problem helps. > > Thanks, > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Dear ,Where do you live? I have a 20 year old son who is in need of daily living skills, who will begin a program at the College Internship Program at the Berkshire Center. http://collegeinternshipprogram.com/berkshire/ They have a program for young adults with AS, and for young adults with learning disabilities. They teach them daily living skills (how to cook, clean, manage a check book, they take a couple of community college courses, and are taught how to study, are tutored, and have supervised study halls. They have psychotherapy and therapy with their apartment mates is available if necessary.) It's very expensive (like $60K/year) Cheaper alternatives might be your state's Dept of Rehabilitation. You might be able to get her into a supervised group home that would teach her daily living skills. If she doesn't qualify for social security, there are private pay group homes that are undoubtedly less expensive than the Berkshire Center. LizOn May 26, 2008, at 6:48 PM, wrote:Hi Everyone:I am new to this group and seeking support. I have an 18 year old daughter with PDD and ADHD that we home schooled. She graduated from high school one year early, but is unable to pass most tests. She tested out at a very low IQ, but is very bright in some areas.I am going stark raving mad now and have been for the past several years. She is very forgetful, doesn't lift a finger to help out around the house or with the horses, of which we wouldn't have if it weren't for her, and is now attending Jr, College and not doing so well. Iam at my wits end as to how to survive with her at home and what to do about her future.Around the house she creates extreme messes because she never puts anything away, never picks up after herself, but merely throws everything into the floor. Laundry is a nighmare as she cannot seem to distinguish between toilet paper and towels! Her habits in the past have been to fill the toilet with toilet paper and other bodily excrement until it is overflowing and never flushes. In response, we had automatic flushers installed, which she covers up and doesn't use. The flushing has become somewhat better, but not cured. She still urinates in her bed often and more so when I loose it because of her lying to me. By the way, she is a pathological and incompetent liar, frequently being found out, but continuing to lie as to avoid getting in trouble.My husband works more than full time and I have raised my daughter pretty much alone. He has in the last few years been taking her to ball games and has game night where friends come over and play board games, which my daughter loves. However, I am beside myself as to how to live in this world with someone as disorganized and mess creating and lying as my daughter. By the way, my husband and I are still married but live separately because my daughter and I have four horses and he was tired of paying boarding fees. So he bought us a farm about 45 minutes away from where he lives. He didn't want to relocate because he didn't want to commute. It is just as well, because he is very AHDH and leaves messes everywhere, and I was very cranky picking up after the two of them...not to mention their constant talking!I love my daughter and I love my husband, but they both are taking years off my life! My house is a mess and dirtier than I like to admit because at 61, I just don't have the energy anymore to continually pick up and clean up after even one other person. Thes messes take all of the energy out of me just looking at them. And I have a farm with four horses and an acre of property, not to mention the pasture of 2 1/2 acres to keep up. I feel as though things are falling down around me and all I can do is either drink or sleep!The one saving grace I have is that I have met two women to go out riding with about two times a week...this is my therapy. To go out on my horse into the mountains is absolute Nirvana! I live for riding my horse.The problem is that I really need to do something to get my daughter set up for her own life and I am not sure how to do that. I thought that perhaps she could get a certificate as a library technician, but the requirements have several academic classes that seem to be beyond her reach. This not only with her inability to seem to understand what is required to keep a house and clean up after oneself is overwhelming to me. And, of course, being a teenager, she won't listen to anything I say...I am the enemy!Does anyone else on the planet have any problems similar to mine? If so, what do you do?????Thanks for listening. I really need to vent and find something to do to keep my sanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 I have an 18 yr old son. And we have had problems with the flushing and tons of toilet paper in the toilet. So I know where you are coming from and know your frustrations. It is hard and sometimes I wish I could escape it all. lol We just keep reminding my son of what he needs to do. If he doesn't listen we take away his privileges to things he enjoys, that usually gets his attention for a little while. He says he forgets and at first I didn't believe him, but I think I do now because it happens a lot. His room looks like a tornado went through it, and some days after I have given it a good cleaning the next day it is back to looking awful. I make him put everything away again and threaten to throw anything away that is left on the floor. This helps some. The messes, oh, forget it, it's a constant. But I have started to make him clean up after himself, unless it's a mess that will cause me more mess if he touches it. It's a constant training for these kids. And if your daughter won't listen to you, ask your husband if he will help you out by telling her that if she wants her friends to come over and play that she has to help you clean up and have her and her friends clean up before they go home. If she protests then no friends can come over. It will be hard and she will throw a fit, but we need to teach them that they need to pull their weight in life. The real world will cut them less slack. I know our kids have problems but I don't think we should have to take their abuse. Put her in counseling too whether she likes it or not, it might help you. Get rid of the horses you don't have to have, that will cut down on your work. If you can afford it, get someone to clean your house even if it's once a month. But have chores for your daughter to do too. Give her an allowance if you don't now, and then don't buy things for her, let her use her own monies. And if she doesn't do her chores then no allowance, this has helped with our son. You and your husband have to be on the same page to make this work. He shouldn't give her money unless he runs it by you, because she will try to play you against each other. Some may same I am wrong, and these kids can't help what they do, but I say I live it all too, and we have taught our son what is expected of him and he is maturing good and will have more of a chance in live because of it. Most teenagers are lazy and don't want to help around the house, or do yard work, I was once a teenager and remember those days. lol You just want to be free to do what you please. But we all have to grow up and pull our weight. I think it makes my son feel better when he helps us too. His job is to unload the dish washer, he doesn't do it the way I would, but anything helps me out. He does other things around the house too, but not too much that he is overwhelmed. He cleaned his bathroom sink area one day, and did a good job, I was amazed. I didn't ask him to do it, we were having company over and I was busy running errands, came back and he had cleaned his bathroom, except commode and shower, and floor, but hey, he did something and pretty good too. I didn't know he could. Then he straightened my kitchen up, all the unsorted mail and junk mail, etc. he put away. It looked great, although I still can't find the dog's vitamins which cost a fortune. But hey, he tired, and I was very impressed. So they can do something if they want to. I'm not giving up on him at all, yes there are still sometimes when I think " ugh!" He's never going to get it, but I'd say he's already gotten some things, and it hasn't been easy, and I too have felt like driving into a brick wall, but that wouldn't really solve anything, just would create more pain to the people I'd leave behind. The number one thing is for parents to be together and show our kids that we back each other and they can't undermind us. And parents, be considerate to each other and work together, don't leave it all to the mother's, we have enough to do with having two jobs, or taking care of the house hold all day and night. We need to work together and be kind to one each other. We will get pass this, remember God said he will never give us more than we can handle, and I know we have all felt that this was not true, but we have gotten through the day. Live one day at a time, and leave the rest to God. Tell yourself, this day too will pass. I hope I have helped, if not, sorry, I only meant good. We have our son on Geodon and Prozac and they have helped with his temper and depression. He also takes Vistaril to help him sleep. You just have to get the right dosage. He is also on the GFCF diet as much as possible. And we are getting him tested at the Thoughtful House in Austin, Tx.. Yes, it is costing us a small fortune but he has awful stomach pain all the time and we feel we need to try to find out what will help him. We have seen a big change in him the last few months. He is home schooled and this helped in a big way, less stress for both of us. It's terriable to be teased all day at school. Take care, Patti J. ( ) Re: New Member Hi ,I really don't have any advice but I just wanted to welcome you to thegroup. It's a good place to vent. There are a few folks here withteens--but I'm not one of them yet fortunately. I'm not handling a 9y.o. and 6 y.o. all that well, so not looking forward to teenagers.My only thought is to try some counseling with her. Maybe a therapistwill help her realize how her actions are affecting you. Hang in there!>> Hi Everyone:> > I am new to this group and seeking support. I have an 18 year old > daughter with PDD and ADHD that we home schooled. She graduated from > high school one year early, but is unable to pass most tests. She > tested out at a very low IQ, but is very bright in some areas.> > I am going stark raving mad now and have been for the past several > years. She is very forgetful, doesn't lift a finger to help out > around the house or with the horses, of which we wouldn't have if it > weren't for her, and is now attending Jr, College and not doing so > well. Iam at my wits end as to how to survive with her at home and > what to do about her future.> > Around the house she creates extreme messes because she never puts > anything away, never picks up after herself, but merely throws > everything into the floor. Laundry is a nighmare as she cannot seem > to distinguish between toilet paper and towels! Her habits in the > past have been to fill the toilet with toilet paper and other bodily > excrement until it is overflowing and never flushes. In response, we > had automatic flushers installed, which she covers up and doesn't > use. The flushing has become somewhat better, but not cured. She > still urinates in her bed often and more so when I loose it because > of her lying to me. By the way, she is a pathological and > incompetent liar, frequently being found out, but continuing to lie > as to avoid getting in trouble.> > My husband works more than full time and I have raised my daughter > pretty much alone. He has in the last few years been taking her to > ball games and has game night where friends come over and play board > games, which my daughter loves. However, I am beside myself as to > how to live in this world with someone as disorganized and mess > creating and lying as my daughter. By the way, my husband and I are > still married but live separately because my daughter and I have four > horses and he was tired of paying boarding fees. So he bought us a > farm about 45 minutes away from where he lives. He didn't want to > relocate because he didn't want to commute. It is just as well, > because he is very AHDH and leaves messes everywhere, and I was very > cranky picking up after the two of them...not to mention their > constant talking!> > I love my daughter and I love my husband, but they both are taking > years off my life! My house is a mess and dirtier than I like to > admit because at 61, I just don't have the energy anymore to > continually pick up and clean up after even one other person. Thes > messes take all of the energy out of me just looking at them. And I > have a farm with four horses and an acre of property, not to mention > the pasture of 2 1/2 acres to keep up. I feel as though things are > falling down around me and all I can do is either drink or sleep!> > The one saving grace I have is that I have met two women to go out > riding with about two times a week...this is my therapy. To go out > on my horse into the mountains is absolute Nirvana! I live for > riding my horse.> > The problem is that I really need to do something to get my daughter > set up for her own life and I am not sure how to do that. I thought > that perhaps she could get a certificate as a library technician, but > the requirements have several academic classes that seem to be beyond > her reach. This not only with her inability to seem to understand > what is required to keep a house and clean up after oneself is > overwhelming to me. And, of course, being a teenager, she won't > listen to anything I say...I am the enemy!> > Does anyone else on the planet have any problems similar to mine? If > so, what do you do?????> > Thanks for listening. I really need to vent and find something to do > to keep my sanity.> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Have you contacted your local office of rehabilitative services or vocational services? Also is your daughter eligible for adult services? Pam :)Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 We are in the mountains of NC... Re: ( ) New Member Hi :Thanks for the welcome. I live in the Seattle area. Where do you live? C wrote:> Hi And Welcome...I'm sure some of the others will have lots of good > ideas for you...my dd is only 4 yo so I'm afraid I cant offer much...> By the way.,...where do you live> ~, Mom to....> Cassie 17 yo PCOS> Austin 15 yo ADHD> a 4 yo HFA/AS & SPD/SID> > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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