Re: Thank you all for being here...

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

Thank you for such a powerful posting. I joined this group hoping to

get msgs like this. I actually haven't had much time to read the msgs

from this group because right after I posted I started my job and it's

just been crazy and chaotic.

During my orientation at work I realized that I am the ONLY person

over the age of 20 (I am 43), the only person over a size 8, and the

only person who is a ASN not a BSN. The reason these things are

obvious to me is because the barbies I am working with have let me

know it in their smooth little ways of giving the msg.

So instead of empowering myself by doing things like coming here, or

reading inspiring books I let them suck me down into depression again.

Now here I am going into my second week and I decided to come her and

read some emails and I see your email. Now I am filled with

empowerment and peace.

Thank you ....

Peace-

Dawn

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I enjoyed reading about all the progress you have made. You have come a

long way in 4 months! I have been following the program for 4 months

also. It was great to read your post and be reminded of how far I, too,

have come. Living with diet mentality is starting to seem like a

distant memory to me,just a bad dream, even though I lived that way for

about 40 years. How soon we forget!

I am very happy for you.

B.

[Guest guest]

Wowwie , that is marvelous! I am so happy for you and I love

reading posts like yours - I know I said and felt so like that when I

started too. And even reading such posts back then I too often felt

I'd never 'get it'. Congrats on your achievement and kudos for living

for yourself and being happy with that too.

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Thank you Gillian for creating this Group and to Katcha and Eva who

> help keep it going in her absence.

>

> I have been doing IE now for four months and I don't think I could

> have stuck with it without the daily messages I read via this group.

> You are all struggling with the same things I do - we are trying to

> love ourselves and care for ourselves better, learning that there are

> other ways of coping with anxiety than just stuffing ourselves with

> food.

>

> I just want to take stock of all the changes I am noticing in my life:

>

> I no longer fear food. A buffet used to be a terrifying experience -

> now it is a wonderful thing to be able to take small bites of things

> that interest me, and know I can go back for more.

>

> I am more choosy about what I eat - I will wait for the Starbuck's

> espresso brownie, because I know that chocolate-colored Play-Doh

> thing they call a brownie in the vending machine is just not going to

> satisfy me!

>

> I need to exercise regularly. I sleep better and my anxiety level is

> much, much lower when I take my walks. If I go too long without my

> activity, I get antsy. I savor my walks, thanking Mother Nature for

> everything around me, and feeling good about moving my body.

>

> I am getting better at loving myself today RIGHT NOW, THE WAY I AM.

> Too much of my life has been spent saying - " Well, when I lose X

> pounds, I'll .... " I have been buying clothes that fit, and if they

> don't look fabulous on me, I put them back on the rack. No sense

> punishing myself anymore with ill-fitting, shapeless clothing.

>

> I no longer view compulsive eating as a disease that I will have to

> control. Rather I see that it was a way of coping that I am slowly

> outgrowing. I appreciate that I used food to cope, because I really

> didn't know how else to soothe myself, and not because I was a weak-

> willed or too needy.

>

> I don't obsess about the scale anymore - it reports a number, but

> that number is not the whole of me - just as my bloodtype is not me,

> or my height, or my IQ. It doesn't measure my worth.

>

> I have gained weight since I have been on IE, but not the 1000's of

> pounds that I feared, and I haven't gained back all that I lost with

> OA before I started Intuitive Eating either. Being able to sit with

> the weight gain and not panic, just keep on feeding myself

> intuitively is marvelous.

>

> Best of all, I am much nicer to be around, because I accept myself

> and my foibles as part of the natural process of things. Diets told

> me that I couldn't be trusted, that I needed someone else to tell me

> what was right for me. But, it never helped to clamp down and try to

> control everything that went in my mouth - I just rebelled. I am

> better able to take life as it comes, and not trying to " white-

> knuckle " my way into controlling my appetite, other people, etc, etc.

>

> Thank you all again for your honest posts and your supportive

> messages!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

When I read your post what I saw was a desperate pack of bubble heads

that FEAR anything that is different than themselves. Sorry I don't

know what ASN & BSN are, but whatever those are, they can't be more

than convenient groupings and you are NOT a 'group'. Sadly the barbies

don't have enough foresight or inner strength to see and deal with

their own futures. I'm betting they all change in ways they can't

imagine now. Gravity, like rust, never sleeps :)

Glad you are here too. Wanna bet that in a few years at least a couple

of the barbies will be joining up here too? And you were light years

ahead of them :)

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Dear ,

>

> Thank you for such a powerful posting. I joined this group hoping to

> get msgs like this. I actually haven't had much time to read the msgs

> from this group because right after I posted I started my job and it's

> just been crazy and chaotic.

>

> During my orientation at work I realized that I am the ONLY person

> over the age of 20 (I am 43), the only person over a size 8, and the

> only person who is a ASN not a BSN. The reason these things are

> obvious to me is because the barbies I am working with have let me

> know it in their smooth little ways of giving the msg.

>

> So instead of empowering myself by doing things like coming here, or

> reading inspiring books I let them suck me down into depression again.

> Now here I am going into my second week and I decided to come her and

> read some emails and I see your email. Now I am filled with

> empowerment and peace.

>

> Thank you ....

>

> Peace-

> Dawn

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Thanks for writing that. It is very inspiring.

Arnie

>

> Thank you Gillian for creating this Group and to Katcha and Eva who

> help keep it going in her absence.

>

> I have been doing IE now for four months and I don't think I could

> have stuck with it without the daily messages I read via this

group.

> You are all struggling with the same things I do - we are trying to

> love ourselves and care for ourselves better, learning that there

are

> other ways of coping with anxiety than just stuffing ourselves with

> food.

>

> I just want to take stock of all the changes I am noticing in my

life:

>

> I no longer fear food. A buffet used to be a terrifying

experience -

> now it is a wonderful thing to be able to take small bites of

things

> that interest me, and know I can go back for more.

>

> I am more choosy about what I eat - I will wait for the Starbuck's

> espresso brownie, because I know that chocolate-colored Play-Doh

> thing they call a brownie in the vending machine is just not going

to

> satisfy me!

>

> I need to exercise regularly. I sleep better and my anxiety level

is

> much, much lower when I take my walks. If I go too long without my

> activity, I get antsy. I savor my walks, thanking Mother Nature

for

> everything around me, and feeling good about moving my body.

>

> I am getting better at loving myself today RIGHT NOW, THE WAY I

AM.

> Too much of my life has been spent saying - " Well, when I lose X

> pounds, I'll .... " I have been buying clothes that fit, and if

they

> don't look fabulous on me, I put them back on the rack. No sense

> punishing myself anymore with ill-fitting, shapeless clothing.

>

> I no longer view compulsive eating as a disease that I will have to

> control. Rather I see that it was a way of coping that I am slowly

> outgrowing. I appreciate that I used food to cope, because I

really

> didn't know how else to soothe myself, and not because I was a weak-

> willed or too needy.

>

> I don't obsess about the scale anymore - it reports a number, but

> that number is not the whole of me - just as my bloodtype is not

me,

> or my height, or my IQ. It doesn't measure my worth.

>

> I have gained weight since I have been on IE, but not the 1000's of

> pounds that I feared, and I haven't gained back all that I lost

with

> OA before I started Intuitive Eating either. Being able to sit

with

> the weight gain and not panic, just keep on feeding myself

> intuitively is marvelous.

>

> Best of all, I am much nicer to be around, because I accept myself

> and my foibles as part of the natural process of things. Diets

told

> me that I couldn't be trusted, that I needed someone else to tell

me

> what was right for me. But, it never helped to clamp down and try

to

> control everything that went in my mouth - I just rebelled. I am

> better able to take life as it comes, and not trying to " white-

> knuckle " my way into controlling my appetite, other people, etc,

etc.

>

> Thank you all again for your honest posts and your supportive

> messages!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Katcha.... sorry about that... ASN is an associates degree and a

BSN is a bachelors. I had a full ride scholarship to one of the top

medical schools in the US for their associate nurse program. I just

graduated in May and am now slowly starting to work on my BSN by

having my current employer pay for it. So basically the barbies paid

for their own school for 4 years to get a BSN and I am achieving the

same goal in 3 years time and having others pay for it. While I don't

try to snap back at people when they show their ignorance as was the

case the other day when I was told how old I was and asked what was I

" not " allowed to do that the BSN levels " were " allowed to do (there is

NO difference in what we can do) I did snap back and let the girl know

that not only can I do EVERYTHING that she can do, I can do it better.

To which I followed up by informing her of the only difference in the

two degree programs and also informed her that I did not pay a dime

for my degree but got it through a scholarship which was based on the

fact that I had overcome a lot of adversity and that someone believed

in me. She had to ask me what adversity meant at which point had to

comment on my surprise that they didn't teach those big words in her

BSN program.

Looking back it was not a moment I was proud of but I am a human and I

had just had my fill of the old card being played on my all week. I am

only 43 for petes sakes! The mere fact that I raised three children 9,

7 and 4 and homeschooled them while going to nursing school full time

shows that I have what it takes. Not to toot my own horn (OK I will

cause I need to hear it again to pull myself out of this funk) I was

voted Best and Brightest of my University which landed me on the front

cover of a magazine, I was the class president voted hands down when I

did NOT even run, and I launched many programs that bridged the gap

between the medical students and the nursing students who came

together to work at homeless shelters all over the city. I received 3

awards ranging from Leadership to Outstanding Volunteer and I made a

name for myself at this top university.

Now, I am the ONLY ASN student in this group of close to 50 new nurses

and thats because I am a GREAT leader and will make a excellent nurse.

I was hired at the #1 pediatric hospital in the entire US. I think

that right there should scream volumes to the young girls that there

must be something about me that makes me special right?

Truth is that I can't see it myself right now so why would I expect

them to. I need to get my mojo back so to speak. To comfort me I have

of course turned to my old friend food and I am fighting everyday to

remind myself that it's OK to eat the way I am right now because that

is the only tool I currently have to deal with this emotional crap.

It's hard though, and many days like this past weekend I have found

myself depressed in bed instead of interacting with my kids and

husband. Today I forced myself to go the pool with them at which point

I really had a great time. So for now I am going to have to force

myself to just get into life with them until I can get past this

depression of dealing with the dynamics of being a new nurse and all

that this situation brings with it.

I wish I had the money to get the IE books right now. I don't get paid

for another few weeks and then I plan on ding it. Right now all I have

is the When Food is Love which I can't even get through. I might

actually go try to finish it tonight and then start on a OO book I but

never go all the way through.

Wow, that was just supposed to be a little response to tell what ASN

and BSN meant but I sure dumped a lot of emotion out there huh? Guess

I needed to so if you are still reading this far down THANK YOU...

Peace-

Dawn

>

> When I read your post what I saw was a desperate pack of bubble heads

> that FEAR anything that is different than themselves. Sorry I don't

> know what ASN & BSN are, but whatever those are, they can't be more

[Guest guest]

,

I work at a college of nursing and I am director of the online program (though I am not a nurse), and though our AS to BS and graduate students are age from 20ish to 60ish, we are surrounded by young lovlies and to make it worse, my staff is all young and male. They are so judgmental of the young women it is no wonder we all have eating disorders. (I am 53)

Dear ,

Thank you for such a powerful posting. I joined this group hoping to

get msgs like this. I actually haven't had much time to read the msgs

from this group because right after I posted I started my job and it's

just been crazy and chaotic.

During my orientation at work I realized that I am the ONLY person

over the age of 20 (I am 43), the only person over a size 8, and the

only person who is a ASN not a BSN. The reason these things are

obvious to me is because the barbies I am working with have let me

know it in their smooth little ways of giving the msg.

So instead of empowering myself by doing things like coming here, or

reading inspiring books I let them suck me down into depression again.

Now here I am going into my second week and I decided to come her and

read some emails and I see your email. Now I am filled with

empowerment and peace.

Thank you ....

Peace-

Dawn

[Guest guest]

Well Dawn, ya would think I would know that being that I (back in the

dark ages - he he) had an RN license too. But it was so long ago

(1971) that all it was called was an AS (Associate of Science).

In my nursing class then, about 1/2 the class were young gals (20s)

and the other half of the class were older gals (mid-40s and UP to

late 50s). I must say that the older gals paid more attention, put

more study time in and ended up being who would prefer to have as a

nurse if I was ever in need of that service. The younger gals more or

less 'breezed' thru the program, very much like their previous

schooling and for sure very few had the maturity that goes beyond the

book learning which makes a great nurse.

Keep your spirits and attitude up. You have earned those kudos, and a

pat on your back is in order. Don't let those with a snooty attitude

B$ you - that is their game and you don't need to play it.

Good job that you could tell yourself that while you didn't want to

overeat, that you did recognize that this was a comforting effort. As

time goes on I think you will find that you develop other options for

comfort. Just take IE one step at a time and let it 'set' in in an

easy manner too.

Have you checked any libraries for IE books? Do look at the Book List

here at this site (in Files - left column) for titles and authors.

Most of these books have been out for many years and you should be

able to find copies. I got my Overcoming Overeating book for like .75

at Half.com (shipping was $4 though). And of course you can simply

hang out here, read and ask questions and pretty much get the 'short

course' on IE that way too.

Ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

> >

> > When I read your post what I saw was a desperate pack of bubble heads

> > that FEAR anything that is different than themselves. Sorry I don't

> > know what ASN & BSN are, but whatever those are, they can't be more

>

[Guest guest]

Hello Dawn.

If you could see yourself as I can see you from the outside, You would find it interesting and actually funny as how you react to the present situation you are in. why would you care about your age, have you not heard of "how I see you , I saw myself " "how you see me, so you will be seen". referring as how we saw the"old" people when we were the "young" ones. And yes, I can see that you are really special, outstanding if you ask me, but don't you care how I or anyone sees you. And now after all you have to go through and have archived such remarkable situation you freak out for such insignificant stuff. WHY? I think when someone reach a goal and is unhappy instead of elated is because they don't really wanted that. And when they are there, they realize that is not what they wanted and that is why the unhappiness. Maybe you are more inclined to leadership in another form not as a nurse. And you are about

to become an excellent nurse because somebody is paying you for that. I hope I'm mistaken and is only about age, yes,is hard to let go youthfulness specially in this society. And you are not old , I'm 51 and I am young. and if you don't think so all I can say is "How you see me so you will be seen" Delight and enjoy your present situation which is magnificent. So you can stop as soon as posible comforting yourself with food, as you need to start waiting for hunger to eat with pleasure, anything without useless guilt. Try to see yourself from the outside and see how everything falls in its rightful place.without your help. You don't have to worry or show them anything. Aren't you amaze how tenderly human we can all be. ( when I reply I think, o well , It doesn't matter what I write , I don't have to push the send button, and here I am , about to push the send button, )

Subject: Re: Thank you all for being here...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Sunday, August 3, 2008, 5:11 PM

Hi Katcha.... sorry about that... ASN is an associates degree and aBSN is a bachelors. I had a full ride scholarship to one of the topmedical schools in the US for their associate nurse program. I justgraduated in May and am now slowly starting to work on my BSN byhaving my current employer pay for it. So basically the barbies paidfor their own school for 4 years to get a BSN and I am achieving thesame goal in 3 years time and having others pay for it. While I don'ttry to snap back at people when they show their ignorance as was thecase the other day when I was told how old I was and asked what was I"not" allowed to do that the BSN levels "were" allowed to do (there isNO difference in what we can do) I did snap back and let the girl knowthat not only can I do EVERYTHING that she can do, I can do it better.To which I followed up by informing her of the only difference in thetwo degree programs and

also informed her that I did not pay a dimefor my degree but got it through a scholarship which was based on thefact that I had overcome a lot of adversity and that someone believedin me. She had to ask me what adversity meant at which point had tocomment on my surprise that they didn't teach those big words in herBSN program.Looking back it was not a moment I was proud of but I am a human and Ihad just had my fill of the old card being played on my all week. I amonly 43 for petes sakes! The mere fact that I raised three children 9,7 and 4 and homeschooled them while going to nursing school full timeshows that I have what it takes. Not to toot my own horn (OK I willcause I need to hear it again to pull myself out of this funk) I wasvoted Best and Brightest of my University which landed me on the frontcover of a magazine, I was the class president voted hands down when Idid NOT even run, and I

launched many programs that bridged the gapbetween the medical students and the nursing students who cametogether to work at homeless shelters all over the city. I received 3awards ranging from Leadership to Outstanding Volunteer and I made aname for myself at this top university. Now, I am the ONLY ASN student in this group of close to 50 new nursesand thats because I am a GREAT leader and will make a excellent nurse.I was hired at the #1 pediatric hospital in the entire US. I thinkthat right there should scream volumes to the young girls that theremust be something about me that makes me special right? Truth is that I can't see it myself right now so why would I expectthem to. I need to get my mojo back so to speak. To comfort me I haveof course turned to my old friend food and I am fighting everyday toremind myself that it's OK to eat the way I am right now because thatis the only tool I

currently have to deal with this emotional crap.It's hard though, and many days like this past weekend I have foundmyself depressed in bed instead of interacting with my kids andhusband. Today I forced myself to go the pool with them at which pointI really had a great time. So for now I am going to have to forcemyself to just get into life with them until I can get past thisdepression of dealing with the dynamics of being a new nurse and allthat this situation brings with it. I wish I had the money to get the IE books right now. I don't get paidfor another few weeks and then I plan on ding it. Right now all I haveis the When Food is Love which I can't even get through. I mightactually go try to finish it tonight and then start on a OO book I butnever go all the way through.Wow, that was just supposed to be a little response to tell what ASNand BSN meant but I sure dumped a lot of emotion

out there huh? GuessI needed to so if you are still reading this far down THANK YOU...Peace-Dawn>> When I read your post what I saw was a desperate pack of bubble heads> that FEAR anything that is different than themselves. Sorry I don't> know what ASN & BSN are, but whatever those are, they can't be more

[Guest guest]

LOL!! Love it.

Dawn, baby, you have SO already got your mojo back ...

And keep tooting that horn - you've got good reason to, girl!!

:-D

Sig xo

>

..... She had to ask me what adversity meant at which point had to

> comment on my surprise that they didn't teach those big words in her

> BSN program.

[Guest guest]

Yes, I did check my library.. we have a small library though and it's

hard to find non mainstream type material. I get my first check next

week though as a nurse so I will be getting some books for sure!

Thats so cool that there are so many nurses on the list here. Why did

you stop nursing?

Dawn

> Have you checked any libraries for IE books? Do look at the Book List

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Norma, glad my reactions are at least amusing someone *smile*. No,

I do not feel that the current situation is funny in any manner. I am

actually annoyed that I have to deal with it when my goal is to deal

with nursing not young attitudes. When I was their age I never did the

How I see you, I saw myself. I have always had the attitude of

respecting people based on their kindness towards others and me not

the age they were stamped with. So it makes it more frustrating that I

a dealing with ageism which this is. While I do know that there are

natural periods of maturation that cause people to act certain ways

(such as my dealing with getting older the way I am), I also think

that people can be enlightened to change their mindset if the so

choose to. Which is why I posted the way I was feeling on this list

because I so choose to. And my reactions to eating are directly linked

to my lacking of tools to change as I choose to.

I am not unhappy that I reached my goal I think you might have

misunderstood what I was saying. I am BEYOND THRILLED that I

accomplished the goal of becoming a nurse and all that I did through

that journey. I am unhappy there is so much ageism clouding this

period of my career.

Dawn

[Guest guest]

Dawn, I quit nursing because it wasn't what I REALLY wanted to do. I

was capable of the knowledge, could do the patient work fine, but I

had to face myself and say - this is NOT for me. Looking back (like 40

years now!), I also strongly believe that then I thought it was my

'best' option. After all, there were so few things that were what a

'girl' could do - teacher, waitress, secretary, nurse etc. I know now

that I would have been better in other, more 'male' type functions - I

am very mechanical and have lots of determination and organization.

Since nursing I have been an engineering assistant and later program

implementor (consultant) in the computer industry (circa 1970s), house

designer and builder (own two hands), as well as small business owner

too. Life is not just ONE thing and I have done better when I followed

my own needs and wants.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Yes, I did check my library.. we have a small library though and it's

> hard to find non mainstream type material. I get my first check next

> week though as a nurse so I will be getting some books for sure!

>

> Thats so cool that there are so many nurses on the list here. Why did

> you stop nursing?

> Dawn

>

> > Have you checked any libraries for IE books? Do look at the Book List

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Very well stated and very cool to hear about your life! If you lived

close to me I might bug you to come speak to my Girl Scout troop about

life not just being one thing. What a great slogan for good living

that is!

I have a diverse past career wise and when I look back on it I can see

how I just tried to make other jobs fit my own needs and wants all the

while telling myself I was to stupid to tackle the sciences and math

that nursing required so I " settled " in other occupations. Finally I

had enough and I took that first step towards becoming a nurse. When I

was accepted to a top notch medical university I was so excited and I

let everyone I knew know the news. One man who owns a publishing firm

and had always believed in my abilities to overcome adversity came out

of the blue and offered me a full scholarship. It was so overwhelming

and yet so awesome. His publishing firm over the past 9 years has

actually put out two books with stories of my life in them. They write

books about people from tragic beginnings who turn their lives around.

So it was such an honor to have this man be so connected to my college

journey. I had actually never met him face to face through the years

because I always worked with one of his writers and just emailed him.

So I was thrilled when he accepted an invitation to my graduation. It

was the first time I met him in 9 years and it was just breathtaking

to say the least. I cried, my husband cried, he cried and we got some

great pictures of me with him in my cap, gown and hood.

So I say all this because I so whole heartedly believe in what you say

about life not just being one thing and following our own needs.

Its because I can do that in all other aspects in my life that I have

faith that I can do this with food as well. One step at a time.

Peace-

Dawn

> Since nursing I have been an engineering assistant and later program

> implementor (consultant) in the computer industry (circa 1970s), house

> designer and builder (own two hands), as well as small business owner

> too. Life is not just ONE thing and I have done better when I followed

> my own needs and wants.

>

> Katcha

> IEing since March 2007

>