Re: Blocking Certain Members

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I haven't really had a problem where I'd want to block anyone here.

But I wasn't here three months ago. I've certainly seen posts that

didn't adhere strictly to an IE mentality, but I think we need to

have a level of tolerance around that. I know I still have a lot to

learn about IE and there have been so many of us newbies lately. We

need you people that have been around for a while to gently point us

in the right direction when we stray.

But I think that perhaps blocking one person is a good short term

solution for you if it is too hard for you to read their posts.

For me the long term goal is to be able to deal with situations I

find difficult without reaching for food. Yesterday was one of the

toughest days I've ever had at my job. I was dealing with an

emotionally disturbed woman for about 4 hours and it was brutal. Yup,

when I came home last night I over ate a little. But I know whose

hand it was that opened the fridge door and it wasn't hers. I need to

find other ways to deal with situations like that because most of the

time I love job, but unfortunately I can't block certain people I

would like to at work.

Arnie

>

> This is going to be a subject that might stirr some... well, this

sticky

> brown mess. At least it might have the potential. Let me make clear

that

> I sent this mail to three different groups and that I don't want to

open

> a can of worms. I'm just interested if other people ar doing the

same

> thing to " protect themselves " .

>

> Does anyone beside me block certain members, i. e. their mails? I

do.

>

> Shortly after I joined a while ago I noticed that there were a very

few

> members whose answers almost always seem to rub me the wrong way.

This

> wasn't limited to answer directed at me but also at answer other

members

> got. I would have liked to slap them sometimes. I just couldn't

stand

> them. (Interestingly enough these members don't seem to be members

> anymore or at least not posting anymore since months or so.)

>

> Now I noticed that there are certain members[1] whose mails are

almost

> always seem to have a bit of a ... trigger-effect on me when it

comes to

> weight loss, dieting etc. I don't dislike these members, never had a

> conflict with them. In fact I might agree with them in some points.

But

> I noticed it doesn't do me any good to read their mails. I think

their

> mails would fit a dieting/weight loss/fitness group very good. I'm

still

> very vulnerable and unstable when it comes to " ND-thoughts and

> behaviors " , especially now that I have this exam coming up and

> struggling not to run back to eating all the time or going on a

diet in

> response to these cookies I ate for breakfast.

>

> So is there anyone else out there? Just interested.

>

> Regards

> s.

>

> [1] Exceptions, not talking about a dozen members here.

>

[Guest guest]

I certainly think its your right to not read posts that you find

counter productive for you! I wonder if you can use the negative

reaction you have to these to your benefit? For sure when something

really hits me hard, I know its because somehow what ever it is that

bothers me most about it is an issue I have within myself. Thats a

very bitter medicine to swallow, but its also the one that does the

most 'good' for what ails you too.

I read at the group site and I do find that I will skim or filter some

posts for my own reasons. This has to be normal as we don't like

everyone we come in contact with in the world as well as here!

But if you do want to break thru the grrrrr reaction that you are

experiencing, one way that seems to work is to take a blank piece of

paper and start writing without previous thought and no 'filtering' of

what flows onto that paper. You may want to start with a something

like - That post made me mad/sick/pissed me off etc. and then

IMMEDIATELY write why without any holding back. You don't have to go

back and re-read what you wrote or you can if you feel that helps too.

You can shred, crumple or burn that paper when you are finished

(usually when you run out of steam or frame it too - lol.

Anyway, I bet you find that a better 'exercise' and use of your

nervous energies than eating or keeping the " I'm PISSED!/scared/upset "

fueled and burning IN you.

BEST to you and lots of hugs too - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

PS - To all members too - I pretty sure that this group has quite a

few members for whom English is NOT their primary or original

language. I know Styxia is from Germany and if I am not mistaken,

is French? We also have a Netherlands member and a couple of

members who's posts suggest to me that they may be originally from say

Russia? Not to mention our down under darling Sigi etc. I wonder if

its not possible that misunderstanding can and will occur as writing a

post is not like talking to someone in person - you don't get the

facial and body feedback as well as possibility to ask for

clarifications. Bad reactions can and will occur, but I have faith in

us being adults and hoping we can add tolerance of differences from

others right along side our changing our eating habits.

Thanks for all your understanding and good will towards others. And if

you stick your tongue out at your computer screen, yell 'You dummy! "

when you read a post, or get great delight when you hit the DELETE

button - think of me doing that too :)

>

> This is going to be a subject that might stirr some... well, this sticky

> brown mess. At least it might have the potential. Let me make clear that

> I sent this mail to three different groups and that I don't want to open

> a can of worms. I'm just interested if other people ar doing the same

> thing to " protect themselves " .

>

> Does anyone beside me block certain members, i. e. their mails? I do.

>

> Shortly after I joined a while ago I noticed that there were a very few

> members whose answers almost always seem to rub me the wrong way. This

> wasn't limited to answer directed at me but also at answer other members

> got. I would have liked to slap them sometimes. I just couldn't stand

> them. (Interestingly enough these members don't seem to be members

> anymore or at least not posting anymore since months or so.)

>

> Now I noticed that there are certain members[1] whose mails are almost

> always seem to have a bit of a ... trigger-effect on me when it comes to

> weight loss, dieting etc. I don't dislike these members, never had a

> conflict with them. In fact I might agree with them in some points. But

> I noticed it doesn't do me any good to read their mails. I think their

> mails would fit a dieting/weight loss/fitness group very good. I'm still

> very vulnerable and unstable when it comes to " ND-thoughts and

> behaviors " , especially now that I have this exam coming up and

> struggling not to run back to eating all the time or going on a diet in

> response to these cookies I ate for breakfast.

>

> So is there anyone else out there? Just interested.

>

> Regards

> s.

>

> [1] Exceptions, not talking about a dozen members here.

>

[Guest guest]

Arnie, I wanted to use your post and reply not only to you, but to all

others here too.

I add " IEing since ... " to my signature on posts here to let others

know how long I have been on my IE journey. If anyone thinks that's

bragging, well I can tell you its down right humbling at those times

when I feel I'm doing IE real 'good' and then fall off the brag

wagon! But I hope it also shows those who wonder - does anyone stick

to this for a long time?, that yes, people do IE for 'life'. If all

members did this we could spot and have more tolerance for the newbies

who are struggling with IE as well as may still be in 'diet mentality'

grips too. Just a suggestion.

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi,

>

> I haven't really had a problem where I'd want to block anyone here.

> But I wasn't here three months ago. I've certainly seen posts that

> didn't adhere strictly to an IE mentality, but I think we need to

> have a level of tolerance around that. I know I still have a lot to

> learn about IE and there have been so many of us newbies lately. We

> need you people that have been around for a while to gently point us

> in the right direction when we stray.

[Guest guest]

Katcha wrote:

> I certainly think its your right to not read posts that you find

> counter productive for you! I wonder if you can use the negative

> reaction you have to these to your benefit?

Yes, I wondered that myself and I think you're right. I have to say

though that this doesn't seem to be the time to work on certain

problems. Some issues simply will have to wait until after the exam and

this one is not on my high-priority list.

> For sure when something

> really hits me hard, I know its because somehow what ever it is that

> bothers me most about it is an issue I have within myself. Thats a

> very bitter medicine to swallow, but its also the one that does the

> most 'good' for what ails you too.

Haha, so true!

> But if you do want to break thru the grrrrr reaction that you are

> experiencing

It's not so much a " grrr " reaction. I haven't had that in a longer time

on here. It's more subtle. I don't binge afte reading such a message, I

don't have to think for hours about these messages after I closed them

and I guess I wouldn't mind them at all if I wouldn't feel so unstable

regarding IE right now.

I thought about what it was that made me feel weird reading these

messages (maybe I should have stated that earlier and be more specific

but I didn't want people to identify any members because of that) and I

think I have a good idea why these mails irk me.

> Anyway, I bet you find that a better 'exercise' and use of your

> nervous energies than eating or keeping the " I'm PISSED!/scared/upset "

> fueled and burning IN you.

I want that energy to focus on studying, haha.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

chazaam1 wrote:

> I am really new here---as in a couple of days. However, I have

> noticed a reaction to some of the messages. I hadn't paid that much

> attention to whether or not they are coming from the same

> people/person or not. I really want to get away from the whole

> dieting/weight loss/deprivation/I hate my body stuff.

Could you elaborate a bit? No names or something, but what exactly do

you mean? If it's talk about body hatred (e. g.) I'm definitely guilty

of writing about my body-hatred-attacks from time to time, too.

> Your message made me think I should pay closer attention to what

> people are saying and make sure it supports IE ideas.

Maybe you're hitting the spot here. It seems to be that this might be

what I was really trying to say: identify people whose posts support the

ND idea and stick to those (at least during vulnerable times).

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

Katcha, How can I fix that----I would like to add how long I've been

here---all three weeks of it. I went to edit and I couldn't figure

it out. Can you tell me how.

> >

> > Hi,

> >

> > I haven't really had a problem where I'd want to block anyone

here.

> > But I wasn't here three months ago. I've certainly seen posts

that

> > didn't adhere strictly to an IE mentality, but I think we need to

> > have a level of tolerance around that. I know I still have a lot

to

> > learn about IE and there have been so many of us newbies lately.

We

> > need you people that have been around for a while to gently point

us

> > in the right direction when we stray.

>

[Guest guest]

Sadly there isn't any 'signature' line we can create and use on Yahoo

groups. Some people get one in via their email programs, but since I

post at the site, I just type that line in each post I make. Anyone

can and I hope will do that too

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

> > >

> > > Hi,

> > >

> > > I haven't really had a problem where I'd want to block anyone

> here.

> > > But I wasn't here three months ago. I've certainly seen posts

> that

> > > didn't adhere strictly to an IE mentality, but I think we need to

> > > have a level of tolerance around that. I know I still have a lot

> to

> > > learn about IE and there have been so many of us newbies lately.

> We

> > > need you people that have been around for a while to gently point

> us

> > > in the right direction when we stray.

> >

>