Re: mothers...

[Guest guest]

Thanks Katcha! The book you recommended to me a few months back about Toxic Parents really helped me to not react to her comments. They still hurt but I'm so much better able to deal with them.

Subject: Re: mothers...To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Friday, June 27, 2008, 10:56 AM

Not only 'fat', but 'un-sanity' is a family thing . . . youdefinitley get it from your parents who got it from theirs who got itfrom theirs . . . , you did so good in not reacting, especially in the old grab thegoodies and stuff mode. Just think, YOU can break the cycle and stopthis cascade not only for yourself, but for any 'next in line' sufferstoo. Proud of you - Katcha>> Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was howshe greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is yourfat assed mother."> > I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! Mymother has been

making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I washer "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but Ijust don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in monthswhich is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressedthis week because my grandmother was released from the hospital andshe's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtuallynothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her andshe turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night shesaid she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her motherdid! I nearly laughed right out loud.> > The good part of the story is that normally after a comment likethat I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym whichis what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when Iwas hungry. > > > > > > >

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[Guest guest]

Yikes! And I thought my mom's gorilla warfare attacks were tough to deal with. I am SO PROUD that you didn't just dive head long into the first available food! Congratulations!!!I just visited my mom. We went shopping together. I tried on a pair of shorts. She said, "Those look great on you, you have to get them." Had she stopped there, it would have been great. Instead (drum roll please) she followed up with, "You'll look great when you lose that last 30 pounds." Yup, I could just feel it coming. Over time I've come to realize that she has her issues. I can either let them bother me (which I do sometimes) or laugh to myself and move on.

I've tried talking with her about what she does, but she denies it/doesn't even realize she's doing it. I think I would put up more of a fight, but honestly, we live thousands of miles apart and I just want to enjoy the time we spend together. I'm at a point in my life that I'm ok with who I am (generally -- I do have to learn to trust myself more).Thanks for sharing!!! mothers...Last evening my mother called me as she always does. This was how she greeted me..."is this my daughter ??...my fat assed daughter ?? hahaha <silence> oh now I'm in trouble....well this is your fat assed mother." I was quiet through all that cause what do you say to that??!! My mother has been making comments about my weight since I was 5 (I was her "fine, fat, farting, 5 year old") and probably before that but I just don't remember it. She's hasn't made any comments in months which is why this came as such a shock! She's been really stressed this

week because my grandmother was released from the hospital and she's pretty much responsible for her..her 4 brothers do virtually nothing. The funny thing is her mother is so mean and rude to her and she turns around and does the same thing to us. The other night she said she was glad she hadn't messed up her children like her mother did! I nearly laughed right out loud. The good part of the story is that normally after a comment like that I'd be binging all evening. But instead I went to the gym which is what I was planning to do anyway and had a snack later on when I was hungry. Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now!

[Guest guest]

Wow, I am so sorry your mother treats you that way. I thought MY mother was hard

to

deal with. (And that was BEFORE she developed Alzheimer's! She is much more kind

now

that she has lost her mind.)

Mothers CAN be taught boundaries. I remember telling my mother at one point that

if she

made ANY comments about my eating or appearance, I would be out of there like a

shot. I

was true to my word and on a few occasions, I would be picking up my suitcase

and

heading out the door a few hours after arriving for a visit because she fell

back into her

old ways of criticizing my appearance or how fast or how much I was eating.

After a few

" scenes " with me leaving, she did finally learn to keep her thoughts to herself

most of the

time.

What is the worst that could happen if you said, " I do not allow anyone,

including friends

or family, to speak to me in such a rude or offensive manner. When you think you

can

speak to me in a civil manner, feel free to call me again sometime. CLICK. "

You deserve to be treated much better than that, .

B.