Sorry, haven't posted in months

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in months. I've been busy and

also greiving. If your a friend on mine on myspace, I have hinted on

what happened. As many of you know, I can't have children. My hubby

and I can try at the end of the year, but there is like only a 2%

chance. Matt, a friend of my husband 's has an 18y/o sister.

She got pregnant and she didn't want the baby. Matt knew that we

desperately want a child and told his sister. She wanted to give us

the baby. We were thrilled!! What we didn't know is that she really

didn't even care about the baby. She smoked, did drugs. She turned

around and got an abortion at 6 months.

We were well, heartbroken. It was probably for the best, since she

didn't even care about the baby she promised to give to us. I have

been kinda dealing with it for the past few months and I am finally

starting to get back into the swing of things. It has put a

tremendous strain on my marriage and we are working things out. I

just wanted to say " HI " to everyone.

As for my RA, I can finally get back on remicaide. BUT, if we want

to try for a baby...I can't get back on remicaide and I will have to

stay on my current meds. It's been stressfull. My husband took off to

Virginia for 5 weeks to kinda " recharge " ...it's his way of dealing

with things by getting away alone. Hope everyone is well and I will

try to be more active on here...I always felt better when I actively

partipate on here. I love you all!!