Re: Feeling like a failure.........

[Guest guest]

dont give up. i have been fighting weight for years, and believe me i know about the self pitty. Just try to stay strong and ask for advise and if u feel like eating something you think you shouldnt just ask for help to stay strong

Subject: Feeling like a failure.........To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Tuesday, July 22, 2008, 9:39 PM

I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great earlier and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut. Not hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to post. I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put on about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from now. It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so miserable right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet voice that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all that time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That is not how I want to

live my life.

[Guest guest]

hello all:

Many things in life have come true in spite of getting those feeling once in a while, so why do we give them so much credit as if feelings like that are going to fix the problem. Here we more times that we want eating something when not hungry only for the taste. It's done now we have to chose, do we feel bad or do we wait for the next hunger. That is the beauty of IE, no judgments just wait for the next hunger. Otherwise the bad feelings only will surely take us to another binge. Actually I personally used them as an excuse to overeat. You ate the Doritos and then the doughnut, why? does it matters , no!!! just wait for the next hunger. It will be the same if you eat an apple and a salad, the only difference will be that your next hunger will come earlier. And next time it happens to you , you will be waiting. oops! I did it again, here comes the dreadful feeling. ok, I gess I will complain with my fellows

IE friends. I hope this time it doesn't take as long as last time, And as you are aware and observe the dreadful feeling it will vanish. Do not feed the feeling with bad thoughts they should be on Diet not us. So after you feed it with one or two bad thought. Like "I wonder if I need psychiatric help" "I need to go to WW" stop. And look at it, it doesn't serve any good purpose. bye

Subject: Feeling like a failure.........To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Tuesday, July 22, 2008, 8:39 PM

I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great earlier and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut. Not hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to post. I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put on about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from now. It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so miserable right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet voice that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all that time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That is not how I want to

live my life.

[Guest guest]

same here I ate with hubby when i wasn't hungry but later i had the urge to eat when not hunggry I ask myself what it is I am really feeling and tired,overwhelmed and stressed so was able to resist the urge if you scucced one time then maybe 2 so on till I am there

betty in AL

Feeling like a failure.........

I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great earlier and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut. Not hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to post. I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put on about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from now. It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so miserable right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet voice that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all that time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That is not how I want to live my life.

[Guest guest]

How hard it must be to feel that way! And I do know it too, sometimes

a few M & Ms can send me into the " I'm BAD " thinking mode. But I am

catching myself a lot more quickly as time goes on and reminding

myself that IE is NOT about FAILURE! Its an on going series of lessons

and there is no 'final exam' either. It sounds like you are willing to

read helpful books, may I suggest you check out the Foods & Feelings

Workbook by Koenig? I found it helpful in re-connecting me with

my emotions and in a positive 'do-it-yourself' way. There is even a

Yahoo group specifically to discuss that book too. It might help you

in working thru the misery you are feeling right now? You really are

on the right track but it may just feeling as scary as a roller

coaster in the dark?

Best to you - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great earlier

> and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut. Not

> hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am

> so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to post.

> I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put on

> about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by

> Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from now.

> It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am

> beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so miserable

> right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only

> ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet voice

> that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all that

> time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That is

> not how I want to live my life.

>

[Guest guest]

Good response Norma. Lots of wisdom too.

Ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

>

> Subject: Feeling like a failure.........

> To: IntuitiveEating_Support

> Date: Tuesday, July 22, 2008, 8:39 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great earlier

> and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut. Not

> hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am

> so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to post.

> I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put on

> about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by

> Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from now.

> It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am

> beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so miserable

> right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only

> ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet voice

> that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all that

> time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That is

> not how I want to live my life.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Raina,

I don't know if you have tried this, but I find the best way to keep

myself from eating when I am not really hungry is to be sure to have a

complete meal at dinnertime. I find if I just have a sandwich or salad

at dinnertime, I will be raiding the refrigerator all night long,and I

will be triggered by every single commercial I see on television for

pizza, cookies, you name it. It seems like I get into trouble when I

eat a light meal that just takes the edge off my hunger but does not

leave me feeling full and satisfied. On the other hand, if I have meat

or fish, a starch, veggies, and a dessert, I don't even think about

food for the next 4 or 5 hours and I am completely oblivous to all the

food commercials on television. It never ceases to amaze me.

[Guest guest]

Congratulations for not giving in to the diet voices that takes a lot of courage the IE journey is frustrating and we all feel that way at times but in the end it is worth it. I know that it happens more slowly then a diet and I get a little sad when i don't lose as much weight as I wanted or if I gain some back but in the end I realize that I am happier nw and feel better about myself because my relationship with food is slowly becoming normal. Just take things slowly one minute at a time if you have to and focus on the little successes in your day and tell yourself that the setbacks are lessons to be learned on your journey. Hugs Eva

I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great earlier and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut. Not hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to post. I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put on about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from now. It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so miserable right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet voice that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all that time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That is not how I want to live my life.------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

You are not a failure!!! And you do know what to do! You came here and told us about your feelings. And you know that going back to WW won't work!

I have been where you are many times. I gained about 50 pounds after starting IE and I felt like a huge failure. I didn't think I'd ever "get it" and I'd keep gaining weight. I thought I was crazy and needed therapy too. I totally recommend Koenig's books The Rules of Normal Eating and The Food & Feelings Workbook. There's a lot of info in the normal eating one on beliefs which helped me. I've only read the first few chapters in the Feelings workbook but they really helped me realize that it's ok to have feelings. They don't have to be pushed down with food. I recommend her blog too...http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/healthy/

Keep working at this..when you need support come here and post. There will always be someone here who understands what you are going through!

Kipkabob

(Intuitive eating since September 2006)

Subject: Feeling like a failure.........To: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Tuesday, July 22, 2008, 9:39 PM

I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great earlier and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut. Not hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to post. I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put on about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from now. It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so miserable right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet voice that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all that time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That is not how I want to

live my life.

Looking for the perfect gift? Give the gift of Flickr!

[Guest guest]

Raina,

It's ok...it really is. I am in agreement with the suggestions about

letting go of the bad feelings so that you can rally your energy to

to find your strength and keep with it...there is no failure. My

brother brings both Doritos and Krispy Creme donuts (the chocolate

cake kind...which are my absolute favorite) into the house regularly

and I have eaten both...when hungry and when not. What's great is

that I can say that I've eaten these items when I was

hungry...before it would not have mattered. I really appreciated the

suggestion about waiting for the next hunger.

I truly understand your concerns about weight gain. One of the first

things that came to mind when I read your post was that maybe your

body is seeking balance somewhow.

Have you noticed what's going on in your body at these times or can

you tap back into that experience?

Did you enjoy eating the Doritos or the donut?

Was there something else that you wanted (another food or support)?

Have you created a vision for your self/life? You said that you

didn't want to spend your life counting points...then what do you

really want?

Often times I've eaten when I'm dehydrated and I really need water

or when I'm bored and my body really just needs some type of

movement or I'm lonely and I really just need some connection with

someone.

Sometimes I " just " want the food cause it's there and I can eat it.

There's this rebel inside me who resents the fact that I can't eat

whatever I want and not gain weight. So, I'm working with her to see

if we can find other ways to channel that rebellion.

You're in good company.

L.

>

> I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great

earlier

> and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a

doughnut. Not

> hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.

I am

> so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to

post.

> I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put

on

> about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by

> Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from

now.

> It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am

> beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so

miserable

> right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the

only

> ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet

voice

> that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all

that

> time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that.

That is

> not how I want to live my life.

>

[Guest guest]

Believe

it or not, just recognizing that you did it is progress. Practice saying things

to yourself like, “so I ate Doritoes and a doughnut…clearly,

at that moment, I was in need of Doritoes and a doughnut.”

And maybe next time, you’ll start thinking before you eat the Doritoes and doughnuts and hesitating just a bit. And maybe

you’ll start thinking about what it is you really need at that moment.

I think the true key is patience with

yourself and acceptance. We have to learn to stop beating ourselves up over

food. That’s when the food begins to lose its power in our psyches.

Dianna

www.diannanarciso.com

" A great deal of

intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep. " --Saul Bellow

Feeling like a failure.........

I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great earlier

and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut. Not

hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I am

so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to post.

I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put on

about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by

Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from now.

It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am

beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so miserable

right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only

ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet voice

that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all that

time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That is

not how I want to live my life.

[Guest guest]

I agree with what others have expressed - in IE there is no failure!

You may not like your tendency to turn to food to fix things, but

it's the main way you have of coping right now. And you can learn

new ways of coping.

Don't try to stop the emotional eating - work with it, be aware that

it is " mouth hunger " and see what your Inner Child is trying to tell

you. Like a little child who gets hurt and turns to their teddy

bear, I turn to food for comfort. The teddy bear does nothing to

solve the problem, but it does help me calm myself. Then

the " parent " in me can look at the problem and say " Well, those

Doritos really didn't help - I need a bandaid and some antiseptic. "

The more I do this, the less I stay stuck " in the food " and the

better I get at seeing other ways of coping. I am confident that

just as my children outgrew the need for a teddy bear, I will outgrow

the habit of solving every problem with food.

I love the gentleness that is so key to IE!

In IntuitiveEating_Support , " rlwat_25 "

wrote:

>

> I don't know what to do anymore. I started out really great

earlier

> and then when I got home, I ate doritos and then I ate a doughnut.

Not

> hungry at all!!!!! I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I

am

> so sorry all. It always seems like I never have good things to

post.

> I guess I am just having alot of self pity right now. I have put

on

> about 110 pounds and I am so miserable. I read the book by

> Weiner(I think that's her name), Life doesn't start 5 pounds from

now.

> It helped at first, but then all the old feelings come back. I am

> beginning to wonder if I need psychiatric help. I feel so

miserable

> right now. I am sorry for the long post, but you guys are the only

> ones I can talk to about how I feel. I almost gave into the diet

voice

> that I need to go back on WW, but then I think about wasting all

that

> time trying to figure out how many points is in this or that. That

is

> not how I want to live my life.

>

[Guest guest]

GOOD input . Thats such a valuable and valid option for IEers to

try for themselves too. Thanks for sharing it - ehugs,

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi Raina,

> I don't know if you have tried this, but I find the best way to keep

> myself from eating when I am not really hungry is to be sure to have a

> complete meal at dinnertime. I find if I just have a sandwich or salad

> at dinnertime, I will be raiding the refrigerator all night long,and I

> will be triggered by every single commercial I see on television for

> pizza, cookies, you name it. It seems like I get into trouble when I

> eat a light meal that just takes the edge off my hunger but does not

> leave me feeling full and satisfied. On the other hand, if I have meat

> or fish, a starch, veggies, and a dessert, I don't even think about

> food for the next 4 or 5 hours and I am completely oblivous to all the

> food commercials on television. It never ceases to amaze me.

>

>

>