Re: acceptance of my current weight

[Guest guest]

Hi Gayle,

I too have not been too happy with the weigh I feel and I know it's

because I still eat when I am not hungry and eat for emotional

reasons. I have had so many break throughs with realizing my

emotional eating and trying to figure what to do. I have been

feeling empowered lately with the discoveries I've made and realize

each new discovery is another step closer to eating for nurishment

and survival as opposed to eating for emotions. Right now, although

I am feeling weighty, I know I am on a much bigger journey and it

will take time as I've been an emotional eater for close to 30

years. Each step, each day, every breakthrough is so empowering and

I'm sure you will experience the same, it really does feel great!

Take care,

J.

>

> I've been reading everyone's posts for weeks now. It is time to

ask for

> your insight and your suggestions. I hate what my body looks like

right

> now. I am about 30-40 pounds overweight. I desperately want to

stop the

> diet mentality, stop the binges, stop the food crazies. I'm just

afraid

> that if I do NOT go on another diet I'll have to accept my current

weight -

> UGH!!!!!

>

>

>

> I welcome everyone's thoughts on this topic!!!!

>

>

>

> Thanks!

>

> Gayle

>

[Guest guest]

I have been thinking all week I need to count my calories trying to reject the thought

Betty

acceptance of my current weight

I’ve been reading everyone’s posts for weeks now. It is time to ask for your insight and your suggestions. I hate what my body looks like right now. I am about 30-40 pounds overweight. I desperately want to stop the diet mentality, stop the binges, stop the food crazies. I’m just afraid that if I do NOT go on another diet I’ll have to accept my current weight – UGH!!!!!

I welcome everyone’s thoughts on this topic!!!!

Thanks!

Gayle

[Guest guest]

I could never keep up with counting calories! It always seemed so

silly to me and I would give it up in a short time. I am glad to find

that I am more 'successful' at ignoring calorie counting since I

started IE and HAPPY about it too :)

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I have been thinking all week I need to count my calories trying to

reject the thought

> Betty

[Guest guest]

It seems to me that we are not wanting the weight, and that

'translates' into finding fault with OURSELVES. What it is suggested

is to accept YOURSELF - the person 'in' the body. And even if you can

appreciate your body as it is because it really does get you where you

want to go, and keeps you alive - at any weight. Hating one's body

because 'it' has excess weight does not help - that mainly leads to

self loathing and a self defeating attitude. Maybe its like if you can

love yourself like the person you are - ALL of yourself, then you can

relax and start taking care of that deserving person too.

Best wishes - Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> >

> >

> >

> > It is really hard to accept the weight you are!! I've been

working at that

> > the last few months. I also am a member of Koenig's Food &

Feelings

> > Yahoo group and she posted something there are few weeks ago that

really

> > helped me. I've copied it below for you.

> >

> > Kipkabob

> > (Intuitive eating since September 2006)

> >

> > Copied from Food & Feelings group:

> >

> > A good question about how to accept your overweight body and still

try to get

> > to a healthier weight. My bet is that you do this in some areas

already. For

> > example, if you're not making much money, do you beat yourself up

while you're

> > trying to earn more or do you just keep plugging away at

increasing your

> > salary? In this case, you probably recognize that this is where

you are right

> > now and you'll continue to work on your situation until you're

making what you

> > want. Hopefully, you don't have a lot of shame about your

financial situation.

> > The reason you have difficulty accepting your body as is and hate

yourself for

> > being fat is that you've internalized this shameful way of

thinking which is

> > nothing more than a societal attitude that you've been sucked into

believing.

> > There's a difference between wanting to lose weight because you

desire to be a

> > healthier person and hating your body just because it's fat. One

of the

> > reasons there's confusion about how to view your body is the term

" accept. "

> > You may believe that " accepting " yourself fat means you don't want

to change.

> > Again, is that true of not earning enough money? You can accept a

situation

> > and still want to be different. Once you stop believing that

acceptance means

> > you won't try to lose weight, it's easier to do.

> > Feel free to browse my blog archives at " Normal " Eating

> > <http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/> . Over the years I've

written quite a

> > few on body hate and body love. Keep working the issue and you'll

move toward

> > acceptance.

> > Best,

> > R. Koenig

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and

bookmark your

> > favourite sites. Download it now! <http://ca.toolbar.yahoo.com/>

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I heard Jillian s put it this way. After all those people on The Biggest Loser finish losing weight, they are given a life size cutout of what they used to look like. The people are like, "Ugh. I hate that disgusting person."

She tells them, "Hey. Don't you talk about that person negatively. That person is the one who did the work, not the thin one that stands here. That person that you are putting down was the one that had the courage to do what it takes to achieve this goal, not the one who is putting it down."

I like that attitude. That "fat" body is housing the person who is courageous enough to go against what society says. That is how you accept yourself. You realize that the person who is walking around 100 pounds overweight has far more courage and strength than the one who is normally weighted but has a messed up relationship with food.

This is a process. Whenever I start to think negative things, I think, "Whoa. Traci. Knock it off. You are recovering. This is just the leftover physical manifestation of what I was going through. Be kind..."

Creating a great day is all about finding ways to turn ordinary moments into extraordinary opportunities. Tom Feltenstein(¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨ (¸.•´ (¸.•´ Traci

[Guest guest]

Traci, That way of thinking is beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing

that!

>

> I heard Jillian s put it this way. After all those people on

The Biggest Loser finish losing weight, they are given a life size

cutout of what they used to look like. The people are like, " Ugh. I

hate that disgusting person. "

>

> She tells them, " Hey. Don't you talk about that person negatively.

That person is the one who did the work, not the thin one that stands

here. That person that you are putting down was the one that had the

courage to do what it takes to achieve this goal, not the one who is

putting it down. "

>

> I like that attitude. That " fat " body is housing the person who is

courageous enough to go against what society says. That is how you

accept yourself. You realize that the person who is walking around 100

pounds overweight has far more courage and strength than the one who

is normally weighted but has a messed up relationship with food.

>

> This is a process. Whenever I start to think negative things, I

think, " Whoa. Traci. Knock it off. You are recovering. This is just

the leftover physical manifestation of what I was going through. Be

kind... "

>

>

>

>

> Creating a great day is all about finding ways to turn ordinary

moments into extraordinary opportunities. Tom Feltenstein

>

> (¯`v´¯)

> `*.¸.*´

> ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨

> (¸.•´ (¸.•´ Traci

>

[Guest guest]

Super post Traci! INside us is what we 'are', not simply the OUTward

appearance. And that is so right about the courage and determination

that goes unacknowledged - we certainly don't need to do that to

ourselves too!!

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I heard Jillian s put it this way. After all those people on

The Biggest Loser finish losing weight, they are given a life size

cutout of what they used to look like. The people are like, " Ugh. I

hate that disgusting person. "

>

> She tells them, " Hey. Don't you talk about that person negatively.

That person is the one who did the work, not the thin one that stands

here. That person that you are putting down was the one that had the

courage to do what it takes to achieve this goal, not the one who is

putting it down. "

>

> I like that attitude. That " fat " body is housing the person who is

courageous enough to go against what society says. That is how you

accept yourself. You realize that the person who is walking around 100

pounds overweight has far more courage and strength than the one who

is normally weighted but has a messed up relationship with food.

>

> This is a process. Whenever I start to think negative things, I

think, " Whoa. Traci. Knock it off. You are recovering. This is just

the leftover physical manifestation of what I was going through. Be

kind... "

>

>

>

>

> Creating a great day is all about finding ways to turn ordinary

moments into extraordinary opportunities. Tom Feltenstein

>

> (¯`v´¯)

> `*.¸.*´

> ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨

> (¸.•´ (¸.•´ Traci

>

[Guest guest]

Congrats on your IE year Sue!!! It sounds to me like you are living it

too. Thanks for sharing your IE journey here too.

ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I first read the IE book last summer and began trying to apply the

> principles last August, so I have been attempting IE for a year now.

> Between Christmas and June I gained 12 pounds. I had a brief moment

or two

> of panic thinking I had to go back to dieting, but I " talked " (in my

head)

> my way through it and continued on with IE. Just in the past month,

I have

> noticed that my clothes are beginning to get looser. I think that

both my

> body and my head have begun to catch on to the IE lifestyle.

>

> I have worked hard this past year at trying to take good care of

myself in

> order to appreciate the body that I have. That had included new clothes

> that fit, a new skin care regime, and doing some things that I

didn't let

> myself do before because " I am too fat to be seen doing that " . The

reality

> is that my body has done me well, bearing children, carrying

grandchildren

> around, etc.

>

> My point is, that I think that it takes a bit of time before both

your body

> accepts IE and that you are able to get your mind around it too. At

least

> that's how it has been working for me. So be patient, and don't let

those

> diets call you back. Keep reminding yourself that's how you got

where you

> are now, and your body will slowly start to come back to you as you take

> care of it.

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, how insightful to experience those reactions and to come thru to

a better understanding of what the REAL important things are in life.

Good work!

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> I don't know. When I lost a bunch of weight quickly one time, my

> appearance changed dramatically and people didn't recognize me. I had

> gone to college, and when I would go back to visit my home town,

> people who knew me well would walk right by me and not realize it was

> me. I found this very unsettling. Then, when I said something, they

> would often say something like " you're a different person! " Of course,

> they meant it as a compliment, but I felt like very much the same

> person who now had different challenges to face (like how to avoid

> social eating situations, and bulimia -- the weight loss turned out

> not to be an improvement to my overall quality of life at all). Now,

> when I see people who have gained or lost weight, I tend not to say

> anything. We aren't what we weigh. Weight changes quickly sometimes,

> most mostly people don't change much, or if they do, it's very very

> slowly. I really want to separate my personality and that of others

> from my appearance and theirs. I know thin people who are the

> sweetest, most kind and caring people on earth and I know thin people

> who would back stab their best friend in a second. If these people

> gain weight, they will still maintain their basic characters, I'm

> guessing. I saw a great poster at the Y the other day that said

> something along the lines of, " when God measures you, He measures your

> heart, spirit and soul, not your body, " and that is the way I want to

> look at people, especially in the vulnerable time after a change in

> weight, up or down.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

It has taken me a about a year to get to a point where I can

honestly say I accept myself. But, it has taken a lot of work and a

lot of reading. I really looked at where in my life I started to not

like my body - it was when I had a gymnastic coach tell me I was too

fat and refused to work with me anymore - I was about 8. It was also

about that time when my Mom put us all on WW. I still get

triggered into doubting myself, doubting IE (tempted to go back on a

diet) and not liking myself - this weekend was one of those when I

was around my Mom. Last I knew I weighed about 245 - definately 100

lbs overweight!

The first step I think is to abandon all the fashion magazines -

they do nothing for our self images - you may need to ban all media

(movies and tv) for a while. Second, stop weighing/measuring

yourself - it only leads to beating ourselves up. Third, find 5-10

things that you can say that you do like about yourself and write

those down. It might be that you are a good friend (or a good Mom

or wife etc). Maybe it's your smile or your eyes. Maybe it's

something you do well (I am a good cook, artist, accountant etc).

The biggest transformation for me came when I came up with my

mantra " I am beautifual and perfect in every way " Once I repeated

that to myself several times a day for about a week, I started to

believe it and I felt differently and I think I walk taller and with

more confidence.

And last, pay attention to what you say to yourself. Do you talk to

yourself like you would a little child or your pet? Or do you talk

negativiely beating yourself up and being mean to yourself? If you

find yourself talking badly, catch yourself and see how you can turn

it around so it is something positive. Maybe make it a game for

yourself so it is fun and you don't feel bad because you find

yourself talking badly to yourself.

Hope this helps. It does take time but please, be gentle with

yourself.

Alana

-- In IntuitiveEating_Support ,

wrote:

>

> OK how do you accept a body that is 100+ pound overweight? I keep

thinking I

> am kidding myself and must go on a diet, but when I started this

roller

> coaster, I was only 30 or 40 pounds overweight and this is where

diet after

> diet after diet has gotten me.

>

>

>

>

> >

> >

> >

> > It is really hard to accept the weight you are!! I've been

working at that

> > the last few months. I also am a member of Koenig's Food

& Feelings

> > Yahoo group and she posted something there are few weeks ago

that really

> > helped me. I've copied it below for you.

> >

> > Kipkabob

> > (Intuitive eating since September 2006)

> >

> > Copied from Food & Feelings group:

> >

> > A good question about how to accept your overweight body and

still try to get

> > to a healthier weight. My bet is that you do this in some areas

already. For

> > example, if you're not making much money, do you beat yourself

up while you're

> > trying to earn more or do you just keep plugging away at

increasing your

> > salary? In this case, you probably recognize that this is where

you are right

> > now and you'll continue to work on your situation until you're

making what you

> > want. Hopefully, you don't have a lot of shame about your

financial situation.

> > The reason you have difficulty accepting your body as is and

hate yourself for

> > being fat is that you've internalized this shameful way of

thinking which is

> > nothing more than a societal attitude that you've been sucked

into believing.

> > There's a difference between wanting to lose weight because you

desire to be a

> > healthier person and hating your body just because it's fat. One

of the

> > reasons there's confusion about how to view your body is the

term " accept. "

> > You may believe that " accepting " yourself fat means you don't

want to change.

> > Again, is that true of not earning enough money? You can accept

a situation

> > and still want to be different. Once you stop believing that

acceptance means

> > you won't try to lose weight, it's easier to do.

> > Feel free to browse my blog archives at " Normal " Eating

> > <http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/> . Over the years I've

written quite a

> > few on body hate and body love. Keep working the issue and

you'll move toward

> > acceptance.

> > Best,

> > R. Koenig

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and

bookmark your

> > favourite sites. Download it now! <http://ca.toolbar.yahoo.com/>

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That is so funny, because I just realized that I still remember the

calories of different foods. I used to memorize them and calculate

and recalculate on a daily basis. Every once in a while, even after 8

years of trying not to, I still find myself calculating my daily

calories. So, you are not alone in doing this, just try to catch

yourself and focus on something else, and it will get easier with

time. good luck!

> >

> > I have been thinking all week I need to count my calories trying to

> reject the thought

> > Betty

>