Re: Whats the worst about RA?

[Guest guest]

Hi OKD.  The only thing I don't want is to end up in a wheel chair.  When I

was first diagnosed with RA, I was almost in one.  My RA meds. work wonderfully

for me, and I hope that does not change.

 

Hugs,

 

Barbara

From: OKD <Cofade_2000@...>

Subject: [ ] Whats the worst about RA?

Date: Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 10:27 AM

 

Hi Group:

I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part of

it is. i was wondering about you guys:

My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

everyday is an adventure.

OKD

[Guest guest]

I'm a 37 year old hair dresser. I'm 5'9 " , very thin, and look 24. When people

look at me, they think I'm a young, healthy, able bodied person who can go

anywhere, do anything, lift anything, carry anything, do any physical activity.

The problem with RA and it's related disorders is that the symptoms are on the

INSIDE, where noone can see. When I need to walk slow, or go home and lay down,

or can't work early in the morning, or can't keep up with people my age (which

makes dating incredibly difficult!!!), people just don't understand. Or worse,

they think I'm making it up, because after all, I " LOOK FINE " , it's degrading!

Then to have to gulp down handfulls of pills to try to feel more like a mid 30's

gal is infuriating! I wish there was more public aweness for RA and it's related

disorders, so those of us who suffer with this disease can get the help and

support we need, not dirty looks and whispers behind our backs.

Jules

>

> Hi Group:

>

> I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part

of it is. i was wondering about you guys:

>

> My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

>

> everyday is an adventure.

>

> OKD

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with you 100%, that's the part a lot of people don't understand. It will

be two years in July since I was diagnosed so the other part I've come to

understand is that it doesn't go away. We have good days and bad, but it doesn't

go away. Every time I think I'm on the way to some kind of remission I then I

have a few bad days and I once again realize it doesn't go away. Someone in our

Group put it the best way possible when they simply said, " RA is a nightmare. "

Stan

Seattle, Sun with clouds, mostly clouds.

[ ] Whats the worst about RA?

Hi Group:

I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part of

it is.  i was wondering about you guys:

My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

everyday is an adventure.

OKD

[Guest guest]

Hi Jules, I don't have RA but my wife does. My wife has commented on the

same thing and it frustrates her to no end. She would say she has RA when

asked and generally the response would be " Oh you have arthritis " It even

drives me crazy sometimes at peoples responses. So now when anyone asks

question regarding her activities or health she tells them she has an auto

immune disease, which has brought about a far more positive response. But

she agrees with everyone on here that people just don't get it, and I

confess there are times when I don't understand what she is experiencing

when RA attacks her body. We are fond of Winston Churchill's words when

Germany was bombing England, Never, Never, Never give up. Hang in there

everybody,

Bob

-- [ ] Re: Whats the worst about RA?

I'm a 37 year old hair dresser. I'm 5'9 " , very thin, and look 24. When

people look at me, they think I'm a young, healthy, able bodied person who

can go anywhere, do anything, lift anything, carry anything, do any physical

activity. The problem with RA and it's related disorders is that the

symptoms are on the INSIDE, where noone can see. When I need to walk slow,

or go home and lay down, or can't work early in the morning, or can't keep

up with people my age (which makes dating incredibly difficult!!!), people

just don't understand. Or worse, they think I'm making it up, because after

all, I " LOOK FINE " , it's degrading! Then to have to gulp down handfulls of

pills to try to feel more like a mid 30's gal is infuriating! I wish there

was more public aweness for RA and it's related disorders, so those of us

who suffer with this disease can get the help and support we need, not dirty

looks and whispers behind our backs.

Jules

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I think the most frustrating thing about having RA is the quiet pain of it

all. We take all of our meds to prevent the progression, so we'll never have

the trademark hands. Great!

That's how the world knows RA. When it takes me forever to uncoil myself to get

out of bed, or cut my food funny because my hands are hurting, or I just can't

open a jar, etc. and the list goes on, people don't understand because I look

normal, maybe I'm just coming down with something. If I need to use my handicap

placcard, and someone gives me the hairy eyeball, ask me! I actually did have

someone ask me. My hips were really hurting that day as well as my ankles and

hands. I told her that I have RA and fibro. She said she's got arthritis too,

everyone has it. OK. I tried to explain the differences but wasn't getting

anywhere. In fact, there are many people who have no idea that there is a

difference at all. The pain might be the same, but that's it. I know you can all

relate.

Heidi in Mass.

" Until one has loved an animal, part of their

soul remains unawakened. "

[ ] Whats the worst about RA?

Hi Group:

I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part of

it is. i was wondering about you guys:

My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

everyday is an adventure.

OKD

[Guest guest]

Heidi, I have a family member who thinks if I just get up, put on my makeup and

wear something cute, that will fix everything. Yet,she called me one day because

one of her friends was diagnosed with fibro and wasn't that terrible! I'm 53 and

was diagnosed with fibro in my 30's. And the people who think RA is the same

thing as the occasional twinge that they get....I wish there were more education

for the general public on these autoimmune disorders. I think the worst thing

for me about RA is fear of how I will support myself in the future when I'm not

able to work any longer. At least I'm old enough now that I don't get funny

looks as much when I have to use a cane, and that's happening more and more

often. I'm diabetic and have hypertension as well, so I'm on an insane number of

meds. Sometimes I just look at the plastic bin of pill bottles and get so

discouraged. And looking for new places to stick needles...yeah. If it were not

for my faith, I don't know how I would keep going. But I do, and I guess that's

the important part, right? We just have to be patient with those who don't know

any better. Hang in there- hoping brighter, pain free days for all of our RA

family.

>

> Hi,

> I think the most frustrating thing about having RA is the quiet pain of

it all. We take all of our meds to prevent the progression, so we'll never have

the trademark hands. Great!

> That's how the world knows RA. When it takes me forever to uncoil myself to

get out of bed, or cut my food funny because my hands are hurting, or I just

can't open a jar, etc. and the list goes on, people don't understand because I

look normal, maybe I'm just coming down with something. If I need to use my

handicap placcard, and someone gives me the hairy eyeball, ask me! I actually

did have someone ask me. My hips were really hurting that day as well as my

ankles and hands. I told her that I have RA and fibro. She said she's got

arthritis too, everyone has it. OK. I tried to explain the differences but

wasn't getting anywhere. In fact, there are many people who have no idea that

there is a difference at all. The pain might be the same, but that's it. I know

you can all relate.

>

> Heidi in Mass.

>

>

>

>

>

> " Until one has loved an animal, part of their

soul remains unawakened. "

>

>

>

>

>

> [ ] Whats the worst about RA?

>

>

>

>

>

> Hi Group:

>

> I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part

of it is. i was wondering about you guys:

>

> My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

>

> everyday is an adventure.

>

> OKD

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I'm a 37 year old hair dresser. I'm 5'9 " , very thin, and look 24. When people

look at me, they think I'm a young, healthy, able bodied person who can go

anywhere, do anything, lift anything, carry anything, do any physical activity.

The problem with RA and it's related disorders is that the symptoms are on the

INSIDE, where noone can see. When I need to walk slow, or go home and lay down,

or can't work early in the morning, or can't keep up with people my age (which

makes dating incredibly difficult!!!), people just don't understand.

Every time my sister calls me at home she has to comment on how I sound out of

breath when I answer it - because I'm *exhausted*. Always exhausted! When she

calls at 8:30pm and is so surprised that I'm already in bed - because I'm

*exhausted*. I work all day and raise two kids on my own, and I have RA! I've

been having a heck of a flare for the past couple of weeks and still find myself

thinking every day " why am I so tired every day? Oh yeah, I have RA. "

J.

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone!

I agree with everything!!! The fear of the unknown is the biggest for me -

feeling fine and then waking up feeling absolutely horrible - that is bad! Also

how you can visually look " fine " to other people when you really are hurting so

bad. I felt like I had to show my husband that my rings wouldn't go on even half

way because of the swelling! Basically it all sucks!!!

Donna

>

> Hi Group:

>

> I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part

of it is. i was wondering about you guys:

>

> My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

>

> everyday is an adventure.

>

> OKD

>

[Guest guest]

I worry that my Enbrel will stop working or that I'll have to stop

taking it for some reason.

Sue

>

>

> Hi Group:

>

> I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their

> worst part of it is. i was wondering about you guys:

>

> My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and

> what your condition will be, or how you will feel.....

>

> everyday is an adventure.

>

> OKD

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi OKD,

 

I agree w/what everyone else has said and would add that knowing that this

disease will never go away and I have a future filled w/pain and suffering is

what is the worst for me.  I get very depressed.

Sheryl

From: OKD <Cofade_2000@...>

Subject: [ ] Whats the worst about RA?

Date: Wednesday, June 23, 2010, 9:27 AM

 

Hi Group:

I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part of

it is. i was wondering about you guys:

My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

everyday is an adventure.

OKD

[Guest guest]

Awesome topic, OKD!!

For me, the worst thing about my RA is trying to plan for temperatures. I live

in FL so, heat and humidity are a #1 factor!

Too hot and humid = pain.

Then there's the " will there be much walking? " to consider.

Too much walking = need to bring wheelchair.

Its so frustrating on so many levels. I just try to take one day at a time and

if I know a big, important event is coming up, I try to plan ahead, save as many

spoons as I can and plan on several days of recovery afterwards.....

Doreen

[Guest guest]

Aw, Jules. I so understand. I was a barber for years. Having the RA get to the

point where I knew I would never be able to do hairdressing again was the

hardest. Giving up my license (no sense wasting money for nothing) was even

worse.

There is a " But You Don't Look Sick " site that addresses the very things you

mentioned. The Spoon Theory is the best (IMHO). Check it out:

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

I'm a 37 year old hair dresser. I'm 5'9 " , very thin, and look 24. When people

look at me, they think I'm a young, healthy, able bodied person who can go

anywhere, do anything, lift anything, carry anything, do any physical activity.

The problem with RA and it's related disorders is that the symptoms are on the

INSIDE, where noone can see. When I need to walk slow, or go home and lay down,

or can't work early in the morning, or can't keep up with people my age (which

makes dating incredibly difficult!!!), people just don't understand. Or worse,

they think I'm making it up, because after all, I " LOOK FINE " , it's degrading!

Then to have to gulp down handfulls of pills to try to feel more like a mid 30's

gal is infuriating! I wish there was more public aweness for RA and it's related

disorders, so those of us who suffer with this disease can get the help and

support we need, not dirty looks and whispers behind our backs.

Jules

[Guest guest]

Dear Jules,

I can relate totally to what you wrote even though I am 64 and look the part. I

have lived a very outdoor and active life with lots of wear and tear on my

joints from hard play as well as work. My circle of friends and acquaintances

wonder why I have changed and slowed down. I have learned to just come out and

tell them that I have a disease that requires me to live differently. My smile

usually encourages them to ask after what it might be, and then I tell them

briefly about RA and how I must now live. I think they appreciate being " in the

loop " of my situation and no longer try and push me to do things I used to be

able to do.

I am old enough now to just be myself and not let people " stampede " me. I take

my time, in my own way and just smile and be happy around others so they will

still want me around even though I don't participate in the same way I once did.

I guess the important thing is we each have our own unique journey in life, and

it is ours to control.

Best wishes to all of you,

In Grass Valley, CA

" I'm a 37 year old hair dresser. I'm 5'9 " , very thin, and look 24. When people

look at me, they think I'm a young, healthy, able bodied person who can go

anywhere, do anything, lift anything, carry anything, do any physical activity.

The problem with RA and it's related disorders is that the symptoms are on the

INSIDE, where noone can see. When I need to walk slow, or go home and lay down,

or can't work early in the morning, or can't keep up with people my age (which

makes dating incredibly difficult!!!), people just don't understand. Or worse,

they think I'm making it up, because after all, I " LOOK FINE " , it's degrading!

Then to have to gulp down handfulls of pills to try to feel more like a mid 30's

gal is infuriating! I wish there was more public aweness for RA and it's related

disorders, so those of us who suffer with this disease can get the help and

support we need, not dirty looks and whispers behind our backs.

Jules "

[Guest guest]

I have lupus SLE and RA is just one symptom of it but I must say it's the worst

as far as affecting how I can/can't live my life!

I had kidney and liver regression and ooooh the tiredness and pain. I drank

energy drinks and did herbal cleanses which helped a lot.

Then it attacked my stomach and I threw up EVERYTHING so I switched my work

hours so I could puke in peace (night shift).

Then appx a year ago along comes RA and it feels like my life is over.

Maybe it's the lupus that's making it progress so quickly and NEVER give me a

break but this is terrible. And since I'm 30 and look 22 no one understands why

I sleep so much... Why I can't go to the mall... Or the zoo... I can't walk that

much!

I feel so terrible: I admit I knew a lady with RA years ago and always thought

to myself " so your joints are swollen, so what? Buck up and stop whining " ~bows

head in shame~

So much pain.

I guess what I fear most is losing my job (close to that now) or worse- not

being around for my autistic son (7).

Candace

Sent from my iPhone

On Jun 23, 2010, at 9:27 AM, " OKD " <Cofade_2000@...> wrote:

Hi Group:

I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part of

it is. i was wondering about you guys:

My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

everyday is an adventure.

OKD

[Guest guest]

At first, yes, I would have agreed with everyone's basic complaint that

every day is different and we NEVER know what we will wake up to, but with

this current lung problem, I have to say that IT'S been the worst of the RA.

My doctor originally " yelled " at me for waiting till Monday to tell him I

was having problems, instead of reaching him last Friday when it started.

In my LAY person's mind, RA is ARTHRITIS. It affects bones and joints. Why

the HECK would I have connected RA and my lungs? NOW, I know better and

EVERY little question will go to HIM first. I will never assume it's not RA

RELATED.

But, the lung problem is the WORST. I've always thought, I'd never want to

die by drowning or by fire..and now I've totally confirmed it. NOT being

able to breathe is the WORST feeling :-(

I can look forward to living in a wheelchair. I have enough loving people

around me to open cans and jars, etc. But NOT being able to get air...way

too scary :-)

Penny

[Guest guest]

Sorry, I'm answering emails backwards :-)

Yes, my family doesn't get it yet..course this is all so new to us. My kids

are much better about it than my husband :-( Course I normally have more

fun with my kids than DH. We call him the funsucker. He gets frustrated

easily with others. He grumbles at red lights (as if it's all personal that

they turned red JUST WHEN HE " S PULLING UP)..that kinda person. So this

stuff is just getting to him. I know he really WOULD help me if he could,

but since he can't he gets short with me being in pain and ALWAYS tired and

now the breathing problem keeps him grumbling under his breath all the time.

Occasionally he tries to throw in, " my doctor said I have arthritis in my

neck " ..yea, like I really give a crap about that one! LOL.......yes, I'm so

bad.

My doctor immediately gave me the script for the handicapped parking. No, I

don't LOOK handicapped every time I get out of my car, but I will confess, I

feel TONS better parking near the doors of stores!

Someday, other people will understand? Maybe???

Penny

[Guest guest]

For me it's the progressive nature of RA.

I had over the last couple of years two spinal surgeries. Thinking it would buy

me some time before I needed more surguries. Now according to the xrays from

yesterday, one of the screws holding the plates in place from the cervical spine

surgery is backing out. The good news is that explains the pain in my arms and

hands. I already knew that I would need more surgery in the levels above and

below the areas, but with this new developement surgery is sooner rather than

later. Then I have the hip xrays that shown nasty progression in just 6 months.

Oh, and classic story, the hip othro-surgeon wants me to lose 40 to 50 pounds

before he will do the hip replacements. Yeah, while among the zillion meds I am

on, include prednisone and lyrica. Hey with the combo of those two drugs, it is

a minor miracle that I haven't gained 50 pounds.

I've been dealing with RA for years now. I didn't get dx'ed when I first

started having symptoms. So I didn't start getting treatment as early as some

of you. I could be a poster child on why early and aggressive treatment of RA

is important.

>

> Hi Group:

>

> I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst part

of it is. i was wondering about you guys:

>

> My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what your

condition will be, or how you will feel.....

>

> everyday is an adventure.

>

> OKD

>

[Guest guest]

Penny -

I almost had coffee come out my nose when I read about the funsucker. I thought

maybe, just possibly we were married to the same man! My husband does EXACTLY

the same thing at red lights!!! I had a strep infection that started my whole

" RA experience " . My rapid strep came back positive, and my husband's came back

negative. He actually laid there moaning saying that my test probably was a

false positive and his actually should have been positive! I couldn't believe he

actually said that. He actually isn't that bad unless he is sick!

Use your handicapped permit and don't worry about what people think. I actually

have a relative who had a kidney transplant and heart problems - he didn't look

" too " sick, but someone had the nerve to say something about him having a

handicapped sticker. People are just ignorant!!!!

I hope you start to feel better. I know from having asthma that not being able

to breath is absolutely horrible. Hang in there!

Donna

>

> Sorry, I'm answering emails backwards :-)

>

>

>

> Yes, my family doesn't get it yet..course this is all so new to us. My kids

> are much better about it than my husband :-( Course I normally have more

> fun with my kids than DH. We call him the funsucker. He gets frustrated

> easily with others. He grumbles at red lights (as if it's all personal that

> they turned red JUST WHEN HE " S PULLING UP)..that kinda person. So this

> stuff is just getting to him. I know he really WOULD help me if he could,

> but since he can't he gets short with me being in pain and ALWAYS tired and

> now the breathing problem keeps him grumbling under his breath all the time.

>

>

>

>

> Occasionally he tries to throw in, " my doctor said I have arthritis in my

> neck " ..yea, like I really give a crap about that one! LOL.......yes, I'm so

> bad.

>

>

> My doctor immediately gave me the script for the handicapped parking. No, I

> don't LOOK handicapped every time I get out of my car, but I will confess, I

> feel TONS better parking near the doors of stores!

>

>

>

> Someday, other people will understand? Maybe???

>

>

>

> Penny

>

[Guest guest]

Good question.   I can agree with all that been said.

The unknown is certainly close to the top.  In 2008 I had a Plueral effusion,

and had to be hospitalized to have surgery to remove all the fluid that had

collected in the plueral cavity and had caused the lung to calaspe.   I was

having such a hard time breathing or doing anything.  Since I said I had RA, and

the cause wasn't obvious(not cancer, TB, Fungus) they assumed it was the RA or

maybe from the Methrotrexate.  The rheumatologists did not think it was the RA

or Methrotrexate.   So I am blessed that is wasn't some of the things it could

have been.  Would love to talk to anyone if they have had similar experience. 

 

Re: Whats the worst about RA?

Posted by: " Penny Virag " pmvirag@...   pmvirag

Thu Jun 24, 2010 7:10 pm (PDT)

At first, yes, I would have agreed with everyone's basic complaint that

every day is different and we NEVER know what we will wake up to, but with

this current lung problem, I have to say that IT'S been the worst of the RA.

My doctor originally " yelled " at me for waiting till Monday to tell him I

was having problems, instead of reaching him last Friday when it started.

In my LAY person's mind, RA is ARTHRITIS. It affects bones and joints. Why

the HECK would I have connected RA and my lungs? NOW, I know better and

EVERY little question will go to HIM first. I will never assume it's not RA

RELATED.

But, the lung problem is the WORST. I've always thought, I'd never want to

die by drowning or by fire..and now I've totally confirmed it. NOT being

able to breathe is the WORST feeling :-(

I can look forward to living in a wheelchair. I have enough loving people

around me to open cans and jars, etc. But NOT being able to get air...way

too scary :-)

Penny

 

[Guest guest]

I have problems with my family too. I have been incredibly tired lately-

just exhausted all the time, feeling like I had the flu. So tired I could

barely walk sometimes. I went over for father's day and collapsed on the

couch. My dad cut into me, called me a 'disgrace' and said no one is this

lazy, that all I do is sleep, etc. Well, turns out that not only do I have

RA, I have fibromyalgia. It's horrible to think I will have to struggle with

this exhausted tired feeling all throughout my life. I have a few days

sometimes that are almost normal then I have a day when I have to lie in bed

all day and can't even stand up I'm so tired.. Is that the way it will be

for the rest of my life? The pain is excruciating most of the time too. I

can barely walk. Though the Darvocet has been helping. At least I can read a

little if I take breaks. Before I couldn't even hold a book for five

minutes. But the fatigue is the worst. I feel like I have the flu all the

time. It has totally transformed my life.

Though it is a blessing from God that I am on SSI, and don't have to worry

about having a job. I could never work with this! I can' t imagine how

anyone could! The bipolar has me on SSI but thank god THAT hasn't been that

bad lately.

The dr took me off the one medicine that was helping the RA because it was

damaging my liver, now he wants to put me back on it- is he crazy? or does

that sound right? He said my liver would have healed by now and we should

try it again.

Sorry, this is getting off topic. Sometimes I wonder if life is worth living

at all. If suicide would be better. But then I think about how broken

hearted my friends would be and I stop thinking that way. But it sure is

tempting.

On Fri, Jun 25, 2010 at 9:33 AM, koala2u <koala2u@...> wrote:

>

>

>

> >

> > Sorry, I'm answering emails backwards :-)

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I don't post on here often, but this caught my eye. I agree totally...I'm in

the exact same boat. I'm 36 and can relate to it all. To make matters worse, I

work in healthcare and all my friends are doctors and other healthcare

professionals and some of them are the absolute WORST when it comes to

understanding my issues. That truly is the worst thing. I can also relate

about the dating thing.

I can't date the type of guys I want to because they want to do lots of active

things and can't understand why I can't, but the ones who aren't into active

type things are not really my kind of guys!

lex

> >

> > Hi Group:

> >

> > I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst

part of it is. i was wondering about you guys:

> >

> > My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what

your condition will be, or how you will feel.....

> >

> > everyday is an adventure.

> >

> > OKD

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Lex,

You are so right about people in the medical profession being the worst ones to

understand! At my last job a few nurses would stop by to check the swelling of

my fingers that day, just after my DX, but still, oh the pain can't be that bad,

here are more requests, I need them in an hour, you can do it right? ugh!!! As

far as dating...the one guy who actually cut food for me, it was really cute and

very sweet, and yup, I was mortified, turned out to be such a snoozefest,

because I was more active than he was!!!! Oh well....I'm not writing men off

yet!!! LOL. Happy 4th everyone!

Heidi in Mass.

" Until one has loved an animal, part of their

soul remains unawakened. "

[ ] Re: Whats the worst about RA?

I don't post on here often, but this caught my eye. I agree totally...I'm in

the exact same boat. I'm 36 and can relate to it all. To make matters worse, I

work in healthcare and all my friends are doctors and other healthcare

professionals and some of them are the absolute WORST when it comes to

understanding my issues. That truly is the worst thing. I can also relate

about the dating thing.

I can't date the type of guys I want to because they want to do lots of active

things and can't understand why I can't, but the ones who aren't into active

type things are not really my kind of guys!

lex

> >

> > Hi Group:

> >

> > I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst

part of it is. i was wondering about you guys:

> >

> > My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what

your condition will be, or how you will feel.....

> >

> > everyday is an adventure.

> >

> > OKD

> >

>

[Guest guest]

On the dating end of things it sucks. I will meet someone go out a few times

and they eventually ask me why my hands are so swelled up or a bunch of other

questions. As soon as I tell them about the RA they disapear off the radar like

I had some type of std. The other worse part is when you tell them you have RA

and kids at the same time. I'm 34 and started noticing that the type of guys I

like are the active ones and mostly can keep up. I'm the outdoorsy type as is,

like to camp, fish, swim and go on hikes but they all gotta remember to slow

down a bit for me. I'm not as young as I once was and most of the guys I meet

want to run run run down the trails and I can't keep up so I started turning

toward the nerdy type of guys and well they just aren't my type. I find myself

sitting there wondering where the excitement is.

from land

[ ] Re: Whats the worst about RA?

I don't post on here often, but this caught my eye. I agree totally...I'm in

the exact same boat. I'm 36 and can relate to it all. To make matters worse, I

work in healthcare and all my friends are doctors and other healthcare

professionals and some of them are the absolute WORST when it comes to

understanding my issues. That truly is the worst thing. I can also relate about

the dating thing.

I can't date the type of guys I want to because they want to do lots of active

things and can't understand why I can't, but the ones who aren't into active

type things are not really my kind of guys!

lex

> >

> > Hi Group:

> >

> > I got to thinking about people's experience with RA and what their worst

part of it is. i was wondering about you guys:

> >

> > My worst is never knowing how you are going to wake up in the AM and what

your condition will be, or how you will feel.....

> >

> > everyday is an adventure.

> >

> > OKD

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I mostly lurk, but this thread caught my eye, too. I am 31 and in the process

of splitting from my husband, and I am curious about how the dating world is

going to treat me. I had a laugh with my PT, who is a 38 year old male recently

back in the dating pool... He is looking for a woman without children, and I am

looking for a guy with a goods benefits plan! Ha! But seriously, my medical

bills and medications are enough to make anyone wince. Fortunately, physically

I am in good shape (although 15 lbs heavier than I was before I started Lyrica),

and pretty much can do what I want to do until pain completely flattens me.

We'll see how everything goes!

Kate P-B in STL

Sent from my iPad

On Jun 30, 2010, at 2:46 PM, " Massey " <renandstimpy3@...>

wrote:

On the dating end of things it sucks. I will meet someone go out a few times

and they eventually ask me why my hands are so swelled up or a bunch of other

questions. As soon as I tell them about the RA they disapear off the radar like

I had some type of std. The other worse part is when you tell them you have RA

and kids at the same time. I'm 34 and started noticing that the type of guys I

like are the active ones and mostly can keep up. I'm the outdoorsy type as is,

like to camp, fish, swim and go on hikes but they all gotta remember to slow

down a bit for me. I'm not as young as I once was and most of the guys I meet

want to run run run down the trails and I can't keep up so I started turning

toward the nerdy type of guys and well they just aren't my type. I find myself

sitting there wondering where the excitement is.

[Guest guest]

I'm 30 with lupus SLE and RA. I'm a single mom of an autistic 7 year old so I've

got everything going for me! LOL

When people ask why I don't date I explain the man would have to want to spend

dates at my apt watching movies while I lay in bed and he'd have to be ok with

hearing " ow " every time he touched me.

I'll pass.

Plus men=stress and stress=sick

Candace

Sent from my iPhone

On Jun 30, 2010, at 3:12 PM, Kate -Behan <microminimalist@...>

wrote:

I mostly lurk, but this thread caught my eye, too. I am 31 and in the process of

splitting from my husband, and I am curious about how the dating world is going

to treat me.

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