Re: Article on Men's body image

[Guest guest]

Alana,

Your lucky that she didn't say something in front of him or directly to him. My family would do that. Last weekend my mother was showing my sister-in-law and my 7 year old niece pictures of my other neices and nephew who don't live around here. My sister-in-law said in reference to the 5 year old in the picture..."where does she get her eyebrows? They are so nice and arched. 's are so straight..they just go straight across her face." Well she didn't notice but was almost crying after her mother said that. She's 7!!! She shouldn't be worried about her eyebrows! And my sister-in-law shouldn't be saying things like that! My sister and I were both there and were kinda shocked. My mother even noticed and said something afterwards which was kinda ironic since she would have and still does do the same thing!

I think you are taking the right approach with your son. I grew up with a mother telling me I was too fat pretty much on a daily basis. Did that solve the problem? No, it made it worse. Making sure that he knows you love him no matter what he weighs is much more valuable than fretting over a few pounds in my opinion.

Kipkabob

(Intuitive eating since September 2006)

Subject: Article on Men's body imageTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Tuesday, July 29, 2008, 2:30 PM

http://health. msn.com/mens- health/articlepa ge.aspx?cp-documentid=10021150 0 & GT1=31036I thought this was an interesting article on men's body image. Makes me think a bit differently and more compassionatly.I worry about my 15 yr old son. He's really started gaining some weight and I really have to bite my tongue not to say anything because I know anything I could say would only hurt not help. I find it interesting that he started packing on the weight when I started IE. I too have gained some weight but finally have stopped worrying about it. I have such a different view on food and eating than I used to and refuse to deny foods that we like. I keep a variety of both healthy and sometimes not-so-healthy foods on hand. We probably eat more fast food than I ever have in my life. Not every day,

but once or twice a week whereas before IE I would've never set foot (or car) into a fast food restaraunt or drive thru. I think what bothers me the most which is why I probably needed to write something is how when I was visting my Step-Mom this weekend she commented on how my son has gained a lot of weight.Not in front of him as he wasn't there, but to me. WHY? WHY? WHY? Why do people feel the need to even comment on weight when someone has gained (or lost). Are they not still the same person they always were? Because he's gained does that mean the she doesn't love or care about him less? Was she trying to blame me? She even asked me if I could "control" things more at home. My comment to her was that I choose not to ride him because I know how that feels and feel it won't do a darn bit of good and left it at that. I guess I'm just really mad about this and needed to

vent/share.

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[Guest guest]

Excellent observation and article link too. I've added it to the Book

List (Body Image section) here at the site.

Thanks for bringing this to all of our attentions. I've wondered about

this topic myself and am happy to find a man addressing these issues too.

Ehugs, Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> http://health.msn.com/mens-health/articlepage.aspx?cp-

> documentid=100211500 & GT1=31036

>

> I thought this was an interesting article on men's body image.

> Makes me think a bit differently and more compassionatly.

>

> I worry about my 15 yr old son. He's really started gaining some

> weight and I really have to bite my tongue not to say anything

> because I know anything I could say would only hurt not help. I

> find it interesting that he started packing on the weight when I

> started IE. I too have gained some weight but finally have stopped

> worrying about it. I have such a different view on food and eating

> than I used to and refuse to deny foods that we like. I keep a

> variety of both healthy and sometimes not-so-healthy foods on hand.

> We probably eat more fast food than I ever have in my life. Not

> every day, but once or twice a week whereas before IE I would've

> never set foot (or car) into a fast food restaraunt or drive thru.

> I think what bothers me the most which is why I probably needed to

> write something is how when I was visting my Step-Mom this weekend

> she commented on how my son has gained a lot of weight.Not in front

> of him as he wasn't there, but to me. WHY? WHY? WHY? Why do people

> feel the need to even comment on weight when someone has gained (or

> lost). Are they not still the same person they always were?

> Because he's gained does that mean the she doesn't love or care

> about him less? Was she trying to blame me? She even asked me if I

> could " control " things more at home. My comment to her was that I

> choose not to ride him because I know how that feels and feel it

> won't do a darn bit of good and left it at that.

> I guess I'm just really mad about this and needed to vent/share.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Alana,

It is interesting that you noticed your son started gaining weight

when you started I.E. and started keeping more " fun foods " in the

house and eating fast food a couple times a week. I was just

wondering if you explained to your son about the principles of

Intuitive Eating? If not, perhaps he might like to read the book or

you might want to consider educating him about it?

I know for me that I would have been in BIG trouble if someone had

brought " fun food " into the house before I started working on the

principles of I.E. I would have just binged on the food, felt guilty

about eating it, binged again, etc. I would not have known about

honoring my hunger, or given myself permission to eat whenever I felt

hungry. I would have just waited until I was starving and

then " attacked " the cookies or ice cream or whatever.

Intuitive eating is a natural process, but as we all know, it

certainly doesn't come to many of us naturally! Even once you have

the information, it takes a lot of hard work and practice.

Good luck with your son!

[Guest guest]

Well it's weird, because I actually learned a lot about IE by

watching my son! There were times when he would go almost an entire

day without eating anything. And when he was ready to eat he

would. When he was full he'd stop. He often would leave food on

his plate. I actually admired him. What I think is attrubuting to

his weight is the fact that he no longer skate boards- has just out

grown it. He is going to an online school where he does all of his

school work on a computer. He just isn't moving like he used to.

And he loves soda and drinks way more than I think he should. When

he wants food I do ask him if he is truly hungry, especially if he

is going back for more food. I still think he is intuitive with his

eating as to when he eats but when he does eat he probably eats too

much. He just got another bike and has been riding his bike more

and he has been pretty active with going to the swim and amusement

park this summer. Today he is going bowling. I just know that I

need to keep doing what I'm doing by providing him a variety of

healthy foods but not depriving him of anything or putting him on a

diet. I was put on WW as young as 9 and thus started a life history

of yo-yo dieting and low self esteem. I just want to love and

accept him for the great young man that he is becoming. Who knows,

maybe some if his weight gain is hormones or something and within a

year or so he will stretch up and not look so pudgy.

>

> Hi Alana,

> It is interesting that you noticed your son started gaining weight

> when you started I.E. and started keeping more " fun foods " in the

> house and eating fast food a couple times a week. I was just

> wondering if you explained to your son about the principles of

> Intuitive Eating? If not, perhaps he might like to read the book

or

> you might want to consider educating him about it?

>

> I know for me that I would have been in BIG trouble if someone had

> brought " fun food " into the house before I started working on the

> principles of I.E. I would have just binged on the food, felt

guilty

> about eating it, binged again, etc. I would not have known about

> honoring my hunger, or given myself permission to eat whenever I

felt

> hungry. I would have just waited until I was starving and

> then " attacked " the cookies or ice cream or whatever.

>

> Intuitive eating is a natural process, but as we all know, it

> certainly doesn't come to many of us naturally! Even once you have

> the information, it takes a lot of hard work and practice.

>

> Good luck with your son!

>

>

>