how to connect with people without food

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I have such a hard time when I have to be around people. There is

always lots of food at partys, family dinner, and so on. This is a big

trigger for me, to overeat and sometimes overdrink too. How do you

relate to people without food or alcohol? I am really struggling. Any

clues about this, how to handle this?

Take care,

Nat

[Guest guest]

I remind myself that I am at the party to visit with the people, and

the food is an accessory, not the main event. Certainly its delightful

to taste different foods, but I know I hate feeling over full as well

as listening to my own diet demons talk in my head about " bet everyone

is thinking how fat I am and here I am stuffing myself " . So I'm now

keeping my focus on eating for hunger instead of social reasons, AND

ignoring or saying 'buzz off!' to those diet demons too

Katcha

IEing since March 2007

>

> Hi,

> I have such a hard time when I have to be around people. There is

> always lots of food at partys, family dinner, and so on. This is a big

> trigger for me, to overeat and sometimes overdrink too. How do you

> relate to people without food or alcohol? I am really struggling. Any

> clues about this, how to handle this?

> Take care,

> Nat

>

[Guest guest]

Great question.

I've had this question particularly around the holidays. When I'm with

my family and there is a whole bunch of food, I realize that it seems

like we all get into a collective food " trance. " It sorta feels like

unconscious peer pressure to eat...to stuff ourselves.

Definitely staying present/mindful/aware has been key for me,

connecting with people through conversation, or playing games in my

mind has also been helpful until people are less focus on the food

aspect of the gathering. Dawn's technique at the pizza parlor was

great...she asked herself what she really wanted to eat before she got

to the restaurant. With that type of preliminary focus and awareness,

it may be easier to navigate party food situations. I imagine that I

may also want something to keep in my hands during a party

situation...and instead of a plate of food, I might keep a cup of

water or slowly savor a glass of a drink I like.

Latoya

[Guest guest]

I have learned from working with Gillian, our moderator and IE

Coach, that a great question to ask is how do we want to feel when

the meal or party is all over and to set an intention for that. I

usually set my intention to remain mindufl and present as you have

said. And then my intention is to not to go past satisfied/full -

or in other words, I don't want to feel stuffed or uncomfortable.

On the number scale, usually about a 7 is a good place to stop.

I just like the idea of setting an intention prior to a meal or

celebration.

Alana

>

> Great question.

>

> I've had this question particularly around the holidays. When I'm

with

> my family and there is a whole bunch of food, I realize that it

seems

> like we all get into a collective food " trance. " It sorta feels

like

> unconscious peer pressure to eat...to stuff ourselves.

>

> Definitely staying present/mindful/aware has been key for me,

> connecting with people through conversation, or playing games in my

> mind has also been helpful until people are less focus on the food

> aspect of the gathering. Dawn's technique at the pizza parlor was

> great...she asked herself what she really wanted to eat before she

got

> to the restaurant. With that type of preliminary focus and

awareness,

> it may be easier to navigate party food situations. I imagine that

I

> may also want something to keep in my hands during a party

> situation...and instead of a plate of food, I might keep a cup of

> water or slowly savor a glass of a drink I like.

>

> Latoya

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your words of wisdom. I am doing better with this, very slowly. I went to a party last night, managed my beer intake better using ie (sticked to 2 drinks) and just had 2 pieces of pizza - I was not hungry anymore. What helped me: asking myself how do I feel? Focus on my body - and yes, on the people.

Nat

Subject: Re: how to connect with people without foodTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Friday, September 5, 2008, 11:56 AM

I have learned from working with Gillian, our moderator and IE Coach, that a great question to ask is how do we want to feel when the meal or party is all over and to set an intention for that. I usually set my intention to remain mindufl and present as you have said. And then my intention is to not to go past satisfied/full - or in other words, I don't want to feel stuffed or uncomfortable. On the number scale, usually about a 7 is a good place to stop.I just like the idea of setting an intention prior to a meal or celebration.Alana>> Great question.> > I've had this question particularly around the holidays. When I'm with> my family and there is a whole bunch of food, I realize that it

seems> like we all get into a collective food "trance." It sorta feels like> unconscious peer pressure to eat...to stuff ourselves. > > Definitely staying present/mindful/ aware has been key for me,> connecting with people through conversation, or playing games in my> mind has also been helpful until people are less focus on the food> aspect of the gathering. Dawn's technique at the pizza parlor was> great...she asked herself what she really wanted to eat before she got> to the restaurant. With that type of preliminary focus and awareness,> it may be easier to navigate party food situations. I imagine that I> may also want something to keep in my hands during a party> situation... and instead of a plate of food, I might keep a cup of> water or slowly savor a glass of a drink I like. > >

Latoya>

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[Guest guest]

Alana, thanks for that very helpful idea---asking the question---how

do I want to feel when the meal or party is over? These are the kind

of things I need to work with. I always find myself dealing with the

fallout AFTER the meal or party is over. I know that I have

experience thinking things thru before I did something and had much

better results. I just haven't been doing that with food/eating.

> >

> > Great question.

> >

> > I've had this question particularly around the holidays. When I'm

> with

> > my family and there is a whole bunch of food, I realize that it

> seems

> > like we all get into a collective food " trance. " It sorta feels

> like

> > unconscious peer pressure to eat...to stuff ourselves.

> >

> > Definitely staying present/mindful/aware has been key for me,

> > connecting with people through conversation, or playing games in

my

> > mind has also been helpful until people are less focus on the food

> > aspect of the gathering. Dawn's technique at the pizza parlor was

> > great...she asked herself what she really wanted to eat before

she

> got

> > to the restaurant. With that type of preliminary focus and

> awareness,

> > it may be easier to navigate party food situations. I imagine

that

> I

> > may also want something to keep in my hands during a party

> > situation...and instead of a plate of food, I might keep a cup of

> > water or slowly savor a glass of a drink I like.

> >

> > Latoya

> >

>