Re: Intuitive Movement...Lightbulb moment

[Guest guest]

>

" ... All of my life, the world has been a pretty scary place for me

in many ways ...so the fact that I've committed to getting out and

walking regularly is doing wonders for helping me feel like I can

take up space in the world...that I can take care of myself. "

Wow, Latoya, you just gave me a lightbulb moment. I always know when

those come around because usually tears come to my eyes, and as soon

as I read the above, about the world being a scary place, out came

the tears! Lightbulb moment!

All this time I have wondered why I resist exercise with a passion. I

was quite athletic in my youth, and played on the tennis and

volleyball teams in college. Even then I was carrying about 30 extra

pounds so movement wasn't exactly fun, but I enjoyed many aspects of

competing in sports. I also used to ski in the winter, which I really

enjoyed.

Now I would say it has been almost 20 years since I was physically

active. And over the course of those years, the weight just kept

piling on, eventually reaching the 300 pound mark. I just attributed

my resistance to exercise as being related to my limited mobility,

sore joints, age, etc. But when I read what you wrote about the world

being a scary place, I knew there was a lot more to it than that.

Now I realize that because of my weight, I am too insecure to go out

and face the world in an intentional way. Oh sure, I can do some

shopping in a grocery store or other store where people are

preoccupied with their shopping. But walking is different. You can't

hide when you are walking. You are right out there for all the world

to see, strutting your stuff and saying, " Hey world, here I am. " And

I am too afraid and insecure and ashamed at this weight to do that.

And don't even get me started on my insecurities about going to an

exercise class or swimming at a public pool.

Well, as Katcha always says, awareness is key. Maybe just by

recognizing what the true source of my resistance is will help me to

deal with this problem. But of course, the diet mentality that still

lives within me says that if I just lost 50 pounds, I would have the

confidence I need to go out and walk. Of course, I have been saying

that for the past 5 years, to no avail.

Thank you for this lightbulb moment, Latoya. I don't need to face my

fear of exercise. I need to face my fear of going out into the

outside world and risk being judged and ridiculed. I need to somehow

find the strength to believe that I have as much right as anyone to

be outside, strutting my stuff.

[Guest guest]

Wow! What great insight ! I've never put my fear into words this way, but you hit it right on. Thank you for sharing your lightbulb moment so that some of us could have one of our own -Kari

Subject: Re: Intuitive Movement...Lightbulb momentTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 2:00 AM

>"... All of my life, the world has been a pretty scary place for me in many ways ...so the fact that I've committed to getting out and walking regularly is doing wonders for helping me feel like I can take up space in the world...that I can take care of myself."Wow, Latoya, you just gave me a lightbulb moment. I always know when those come around because usually tears come to my eyes, and as soon as I read the above, about the world being a scary place, out came the tears! Lightbulb moment!All this time I have wondered why I resist exercise with a passion. I was quite athletic in my youth, and played on the tennis and volleyball teams in college. Even then I was carrying about 30 extra pounds so

movement wasn't exactly fun, but I enjoyed many aspects of competing in sports. I also used to ski in the winter, which I really enjoyed. Now I would say it has been almost 20 years since I was physically active. And over the course of those years, the weight just kept piling on, eventually reaching the 300 pound mark. I just attributed my resistance to exercise as being related to my limited mobility, sore joints, age, etc. But when I read what you wrote about the world being a scary place, I knew there was a lot more to it than that.Now I realize that because of my weight, I am too insecure to go out and face the world in an intentional way. Oh sure, I can do some shopping in a grocery store or other store where people are preoccupied with their shopping. But walking is different. You can't hide when you are walking. You are right out there for all the world to see, strutting your stuff

and saying, "Hey world, here I am." And I am too afraid and insecure and ashamed at this weight to do that. And don't even get me started on my insecurities about going to an exercise class or swimming at a public pool.Well, as Katcha always says, awareness is key. Maybe just by recognizing what the true source of my resistance is will help me to deal with this problem. But of course, the diet mentality that still lives within me says that if I just lost 50 pounds, I would have the confidence I need to go out and walk. Of course, I have been saying that for the past 5 years, to no avail.Thank you for this lightbulb moment, Latoya. I don't need to face my fear of exercise. I need to face my fear of going out into the outside world and risk being judged and ridiculed. I need to somehow find the strength to believe that I have as much right as anyone to be outside, strutting my stuff.

[Guest guest]

,Wow. That's a really important awareness to come to and I'm so glad that sharing my experience connected with a place in you. Coming out of body self-consciousness (well for the most part) has been a series of steps like everything else for me. When I was in high school, I used to carry a jacket everyday so that I could cover my thighs in the front...I never thought about the fact that my thighs were exposed in the back! There are so many different body types and sizes and I hope that my walking out there exposed to the world does send a positive and affirming message although some may night be able to hear it or understand it. What's helpful is that there is a part of you who has been active before and enjoyed herself despite the fact that other people might be looking. When I first started going out walking, I intentionally

picked 6 am when it was still relatively dark outside and not very many people up and about. I liked going out under the cover of darkness. In the past week, I've started going out at 6:30 since the sun is rising later...and I still don't really see that many people outside...which helps. I've walked my neighborhood and also found parking lots to walk...sometimes I go to Wal-mart at 6:30-7ish and walk the empty parking lot of the plaza following the lane arrows up and down for 30-45 minutes then I go shopping. I think of my walking time as a time to meditate, think, enjoy nature, let my body wake up...so most of the time I'm focused on me. I'm sure that the same courage you tapped into while changing your relationship with your family and taking better care of your self is and will help you face this fear. Latoya:)

[Guest guest]

,

Congrats on your awareness. If you don't want to go out in public

or where people can see you there are many great DVD videos you can

try. I recently discovered that Blockbuster actually has a few you

can rent and I know my local library does also. What I love about

DVD's is that you can do it in the privacy of your own home and you

can go at your own pace.

I am about 250 lbs and anytime I have thoughts that people will make

sneering looks or comments about me and my weight, I just tell

myself I don't care what others think. I am proud that I am out and

about moving my body. I know whenever I see a heavier person

walking or exercising I actually admire them for doing at anyway.

Maybe others will also of you. What does it matter what others or

the world think of you? I'm sure that you are beautiful in you own

way. I always say to myself that this is the body that was given to

me and I need to honor it and take care of it and love it no matter

what.

Alana

> >

> " ... All of my life, the world has been a pretty scary place for

me

> in many ways ...so the fact that I've committed to getting out and

> walking regularly is doing wonders for helping me feel like I can

> take up space in the world...that I can take care of myself. "

>

> Wow, Latoya, you just gave me a lightbulb moment. I always know

when

> those come around because usually tears come to my eyes, and as

soon

> as I read the above, about the world being a scary place, out came

> the tears! Lightbulb moment!

>

> All this time I have wondered why I resist exercise with a

passion. I

> was quite athletic in my youth, and played on the tennis and

> volleyball teams in college. Even then I was carrying about 30

extra

> pounds so movement wasn't exactly fun, but I enjoyed many aspects

of

> competing in sports. I also used to ski in the winter, which I

really

> enjoyed.

>

> Now I would say it has been almost 20 years since I was physically

> active. And over the course of those years, the weight just kept

> piling on, eventually reaching the 300 pound mark. I just

attributed

> my resistance to exercise as being related to my limited mobility,

> sore joints, age, etc. But when I read what you wrote about the

world

> being a scary place, I knew there was a lot more to it than that.

>

> Now I realize that because of my weight, I am too insecure to go

out

> and face the world in an intentional way. Oh sure, I can do some

> shopping in a grocery store or other store where people are

> preoccupied with their shopping. But walking is different. You

can't

> hide when you are walking. You are right out there for all the

world

> to see, strutting your stuff and saying, " Hey world, here I am. "

And

> I am too afraid and insecure and ashamed at this weight to do

that.

> And don't even get me started on my insecurities about going to an

> exercise class or swimming at a public pool.

>

> Well, as Katcha always says, awareness is key. Maybe just by

> recognizing what the true source of my resistance is will help me

to

> deal with this problem. But of course, the diet mentality that

still

> lives within me says that if I just lost 50 pounds, I would have

the

> confidence I need to go out and walk. Of course, I have been

saying

> that for the past 5 years, to no avail.

>

> Thank you for this lightbulb moment, Latoya. I don't need to face

my

> fear of exercise. I need to face my fear of going out into the

> outside world and risk being judged and ridiculed. I need to

somehow

> find the strength to believe that I have as much right as anyone

to

> be outside, strutting my stuff.

>

>

>