Re: Re: Stuck

[Guest guest]

Katcha wrote:

> Guess I qualify as an 'oldie' here, and I know exactly what you mean

> about finding yourself at a plateau if not sliding back a bit too.

It feels so much like " failing " . The fear of starting to binge again is

overwhelming for me sometimes.

> Some times I feel like - hey, I've been a good girl, doing IE as best

> I can at this time, so why aren't I being 'rewarded' with weight

> falling off my body like a snowman in July(or December for the down

> under members)?!?

I wish I could follow the guidelines better, but sometimes they seem to

overwhelming, too. I tend to overeat in the evenings. Maybe I'm not

eating enough throughout the day, but I don't feel like I'm starving

myself during the day.

> About the best thing that I have come up with for

> myself is the 1) trusting the IE process instead of fighting,

> rebelling or 'cheating' against it

What would " cheating " mean in that case? I feel like a cheater all the

time, lol.

> and 2) strongly looking at how I

> practice IE to see if I can honor my hunger better. I really do hope

> and look forward to the time when all this effort is second nature and

> not a learning experience.

I think my goal of getting rid of this excess body fat is strongly

interfering with everything around food and eating. It IS still my main

goal, even though I don't want it to be (and I'm not even sure if that

isn't a lie as well). I'm not ready to give up that goal. I am NOT that

ideal mature, analytic, calm, collected and patient

intuitive-eater-(to-be) who does it all for the sake of a positive body

image and a good relationship with food. I'm still that teenage brat who

wants to be THIN, even though if that means an even more f*cked-up

relationship with food.

I don't think I can trust myself around food and eating. I like that

hungry feeling in my stomach and sometimes try to postpone eating as

long as I can and I'm way too disgusted by my food choices ( " look at

this - no wonder you're a fat-*ss " ) and I'm using the phrase " this

overeating episode tonight wasn't the best thing you could do, you'll

start listening to your hunger tomorrow again " more as a threat than as

an assurance that things will change for the better.

I don't know anymore if I like certain foods because I really like them

or if I only trained myself to like them. I don't know if I really hate

frozen pizza, chocolate bars etc. because I really hate them or if I

only trained myself to hate them because they are " fattening " .

I feel way too proud of myself when I walk through the main railway

station four times a week, past all the vendors and shops, thinking to

myself " these smells are only there to seduct you to buy these expensive

products - you don't really want them " . Well, I'd really like to taste

that warm pretzel with fatty cheese and I can feel myself salivating but

then I think about how it would feel in my stomach and how I would feel

after eating it and the answer is " disgusting and fat " . So I don't eat

it.

Am I really disgusted by the smell of fast food people are eating on the

train? Or have I trained myself to be disgusted by it so I won't get

hungry, having to smell that fast food that seems so beyond my reach?

I don't know it anymore and it feels absolutely confusing.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

Hi Styxia,

I can totally relate about the teenage brat. I too, have to quiet her voice. I too, would like to be very very thin, and I feel so vulnerable to the last diet trend, pills, whatever exercice gadget that would empty my wallet and clutter my house (I am still trying to figure out what to do with a box of Nutrisystem food -they taste revolting and triggered my asthma...).

You take care.

Nat

Subject: Re: StuckTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Received: Thursday, September 4, 2008, 11:55 AM

Hi Styxia.I'm new to the process, so I don't have any real advice to give. I would encourage you to keep working through these things here. Sometimes just releasing the anxiety to cyberspace helps relieve it. And maybe the act of writing it out will help you find the answers you need. Chin up, friend, we are here for you.> > > Guess I qualify as an 'oldie' here, and I know exactly what you mean> > about finding yourself at a plateau if not sliding back a bit too.> > It feels so much like "failing". The fear of starting to binge again is> overwhelming for me sometimes.> > > > Some times I feel like - hey, I've been a good

girl, doing IE as best> > I can at this time, so why aren't I being 'rewarded' with weight> > falling off my body like a snowman in July(or December for the down> > under members)?!?> > I wish I could follow the guidelines better, but sometimes they seem to> overwhelming, too. I tend to overeat in the evenings. Maybe I'm not> eating enough throughout the day, but I don't feel like I'm starving> myself during the day.> > > > About the best thing that I have come up with for> > myself is the 1) trusting the IE process instead of fighting,> > rebelling or 'cheating' against it> > What would "cheating" mean in that case? I feel like a cheater all the> time, lol.> > > > and 2) strongly looking at how I> > practice IE to see if I can honor my hunger better. I really do

hope> > and look forward to the time when all this effort is second nature and> > not a learning experience. > > I think my goal of getting rid of this excess body fat is strongly> interfering with everything around food and eating. It IS still my main> goal, even though I don't want it to be (and I'm not even sure if that> isn't a lie as well). I'm not ready to give up that goal. I am NOT that> ideal mature, analytic, calm, collected and patient> intuitive-eater- (to-be) who does it all for the sake of a positive body> image and a good relationship with food. I'm still that teenage brat who> wants to be THIN, even though if that means an even more f*cked-up> relationship with food.> > I don't think I can trust myself around food and eating. I like that> hungry feeling in my stomach and sometimes try to postpone

eating as> long as I can and I'm way too disgusted by my food choices ("look at> this - no wonder you're a fat-*ss") and I'm using the phrase "this> overeating episode tonight wasn't the best thing you could do, you'll> start listening to your hunger tomorrow again" more as a threat than as> an assurance that things will change for the better.> > I don't know anymore if I like certain foods because I really like them> or if I only trained myself to like them. I don't know if I really hate> frozen pizza, chocolate bars etc. because I really hate them or if I> only trained myself to hate them because they are "fattening".> > I feel way too proud of myself when I walk through the main railway> station four times a week, past all the vendors and shops, thinking to> myself "these smells are only there to seduct you to buy these

expensive> products - you don't really want them". Well, I'd really like to taste> that warm pretzel with fatty cheese and I can feel myself salivating but> then I think about how it would feel in my stomach and how I would feel> after eating it and the answer is "disgusting and fat". So I don't eat> it.> > Am I really disgusted by the smell of fast food people are eating on the> train? Or have I trained myself to be disgusted by it so I won't get> hungry, having to smell that fast food that seems so beyond my reach?> > I don't know it anymore and it feels absolutely confusing.> > Regards> s.>

Yahoo! Canada Toolbar : Search from anywhere on the web and bookmark your favourite sites. Download it now!