Re: Emotional issues/

[Guest guest]

Oh , I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Must be terribly

hard especially working full-time.... I find it tiring enough just doing

a bit of freelance editing whilst looking after my toddler, so I don't

know how hard it must be to have to work full-time while in such pain.

It really sucks. It's great you have a 'generally' supportive partner,

rather than going through this alone, but wouldn't it be great if our

partners could feel how we feel for a little while so they could truly

understand?

I hope your day gets better.

Soni

On 11/28/2010 8:36 AM, Scherrer wrote:

>

> Today is an awful day for me. I haven't had a flare up like this in

> maybe as long as a year. I feel pain on a daily basis and I mostly

> just deal with it with hydrocodone, gabapentin, and hot baths. I work

> full-time and by the time I'm off I'm so tired and run down I'm mostly

> useless even though in my mind I'm overly ambitious and genuinely

> motivated to have a better paying career as well as not having this

> stupid disease.

>

> I feel so defeated and depressed today. I don't feel like people

> understand and it's frustrating by hearing " take pain Meds " well I do

> and it's such a painful, deep, non-obvious pain that sometimes takes

> my breath away.

>

> I hate if so much. I'm 32 and am so full of anger about this. I did

> far too much in my house today just because I was so mad of looking

> like a lazy sloth. I WANT to do stuff. There are many things I wanna

> go do. Like go visit with friends. Play in the snow with my family. Go

> look at Christmas stuff, but I just sit here and cry because I feel

> like a loser and sometimes I just want my partner to hold me and just

> see how badly I hurt. I want to hear her genuine concern instead of

> frustration and anger. I know it's so hard on her and I wish it were

> different. She sits with me thru my Remicade treatments and is

> generally supportive, but sometimes like today I know she wants me to

> go visit with friends but I don't know her and I'm hurting and

> struggling a lot today.

>

> I wish for a cure.

>

> I'm so sad today.

>

> Ps- thanks for reading.

>

> Sent from my iPhone

>

>