Re: OMG I just realized its not about food!

[Guest guest]

Thanks for that . That really hit a nerve for me. That's

exactly what it is for me, too...an excuse. Now if I could just

conjure up the will to do all the things I need to get done.

>

> I know it seems simple enough, but there I was... eating breakfast

> and enjoying each and every bite when I decided I was full. I

> realized I was full, the food was good... but I'm going to keep

> eating. But these eggs weren't fantastic, they weren't

spectacular!?

> They were good but not worth busting a gut over, not like Aunt

Opal's

> Thanksgiving turkey stuffing or Mom's Gem Potato Yams. No, these

were

> regular ol' eggs with cheese.

>

> Thats when it hit me. It wasn't the eggs it was everything else.

> Snap! It was everything else. Needing to break up with my B/F and

not

> knowing how to do it, Making up classes, school starting, money for

> school supplies, calling an estranged friend because its the right

> thing to do... And because that list seemed too daunting I chose

the

> eggs. I chose to eat until I felt lethargic and depressed, using

that

> as my reason to put off until tomorrow what I could easily do

today.

>

> Well, I ate the eggs anyway because what a realization! Now I had

> THAT to deal with too LoL! But I am free of the misconception that

I

> love food too much and thats why I'm fat. NO! WRONG! I eat food to

> feel fat and depressed and doesn't society tell us if you're fat

and

> depressed its not really your fault? If you were only skinny you'd

be

> happy, light hearted and energetic? (Oh the lies we buy)

>

> Now I know its not the food, its the litany of things I'm putting

off

> that make a full stomach and a day of moping seem more attractive

> than a busy day.

>

> So that was the moment my reality shifted, 9 am over some cheesy

eggs

> on a hot fall day. Finally.

>

> ~ S.

>

[Guest guest]

You know, I said " conjure up the will " but that's not really it at all.

It's allowing myself to face the fear/panic/anger that I feel

associated with those things enough to actually change them/let them

go/take that next step. How does one do that?

>

> Thanks for that . That really hit a nerve for me. That's

> exactly what it is for me, too...an excuse. Now if I could just

> conjure up the will to do all the things I need to get done.

>

[Guest guest]

>

> You know, I said " conjure up the will " but that's not really it at

all.

> It's allowing myself to face the fear/panic/anger that I feel

> associated with those things enough to actually change them/let

them go/take that next step. How does one do that?

>

Hi Karin,

When I started eating intuitively, I was shocked when I became aware

how often I was using food to numb or cope with my feelings. Once I

was able to separate true hunger from emotional hunger, I found I no

longer wanted to eat when I was experiencing emotions. Instead, I

just sat on the couch or out on the deck and allowed myself to feel

my feelings and tried to figure out where they were coming from, what

was causing them. I was amazed at how much anger and resentment I had

inside. It was pretty scary. As I thought a lot about the source of

all this anger, I realized I was feeling very much like I was being

taken advantage of by my own family and even my husband, at times.

They were so used to me stepping in and being " the hero " and taking

care of everyone and everything that they had come to expect it.

I went through a period of depression at that point, which I think is

what happens when you are feeling angry and resentful, and yet feel

powerless to do anything about it. I felt like a victim, without

hope. As time went on, however, I realized I wasn't powerless. As I

continued with my intuitive eating and I was learning more and more

how to take care of myself in a physical way, I knew I had to take

care of myself emotionally as well and that I needed to start

speaking up for myself and confronting these issues. It was painful

and scary at times, but it had to be done so I could stop feeling

like a victim. I can imagine that for some people, they might need a

helping hand at this time, either from a good friend or a therapist.

Life is not a bowl of cherries now, by any means, but it is much

better than it was. I no longer feel depressed or like a victim. I

still can get angry and frustrated because my family continues to try

to take advantage of me or disrespect me at times (old habits die

hard), and I get tired of having to confront the behavior and

attitudes, but I do it, because I know I am worth it and I will no

longer allow myself to be treated that way.

I know for myself, I learned to cope with my emotions and numb my

feelings when I was a very young child and was not able to defend or

protect myself. But I am a strong, capable, 55 year old woman now who

CAN defend and protect myself. I no longer need or want to numb my

feelings. I need to feel them because they let me know when I am not

being treated the way I deserve to be treated. Just as hunger is a

signal from my body that I need to eat, anger or sadness is a signal

that I need to take some kind of action as well.

I hope this helps. Sit with your feelings and if you feel you need

help to process them or deal with them, involve a trusted friend or a

counselor.

Intuitive eating will change a lot more than your eating habits. It

will change your life.

[Guest guest]

,

Thank you for your post. You are so right on! I congratulate you

on moving through this process. I know it is not easy. In fact you

made me realize that I need to just sit with my feelings. Thanks

for that reminder.

Alana

> >

> > You know, I said " conjure up the will " but that's not really it

at

> all.

> > It's allowing myself to face the fear/panic/anger that I feel

> > associated with those things enough to actually change them/let

> them go/take that next step. How does one do that?

> >

> Hi Karin,

> When I started eating intuitively, I was shocked when I became

aware

> how often I was using food to numb or cope with my feelings. Once

I

> was able to separate true hunger from emotional hunger, I found I

no

> longer wanted to eat when I was experiencing emotions. Instead, I

> just sat on the couch or out on the deck and allowed myself to

feel

> my feelings and tried to figure out where they were coming from,

what

> was causing them. I was amazed at how much anger and resentment I

had

> inside. It was pretty scary. As I thought a lot about the source

of

> all this anger, I realized I was feeling very much like I was

being

> taken advantage of by my own family and even my husband, at times.

> They were so used to me stepping in and being " the hero " and

taking

> care of everyone and everything that they had come to expect it.

>

> I went through a period of depression at that point, which I think

is

> what happens when you are feeling angry and resentful, and yet

feel

> powerless to do anything about it. I felt like a victim, without

> hope. As time went on, however, I realized I wasn't powerless. As

I

> continued with my intuitive eating and I was learning more and

more

> how to take care of myself in a physical way, I knew I had to take

> care of myself emotionally as well and that I needed to start

> speaking up for myself and confronting these issues. It was

painful

> and scary at times, but it had to be done so I could stop feeling

> like a victim. I can imagine that for some people, they might need

a

> helping hand at this time, either from a good friend or a

therapist.

>

> Life is not a bowl of cherries now, by any means, but it is much

> better than it was. I no longer feel depressed or like a victim. I

> still can get angry and frustrated because my family continues to

try

> to take advantage of me or disrespect me at times (old habits die

> hard), and I get tired of having to confront the behavior and

> attitudes, but I do it, because I know I am worth it and I will no

> longer allow myself to be treated that way.

>

> I know for myself, I learned to cope with my emotions and numb my

> feelings when I was a very young child and was not able to defend

or

> protect myself. But I am a strong, capable, 55 year old woman now

who

> CAN defend and protect myself. I no longer need or want to numb my

> feelings. I need to feel them because they let me know when I am

not

> being treated the way I deserve to be treated. Just as hunger is a

> signal from my body that I need to eat, anger or sadness is a

signal

> that I need to take some kind of action as well.

>

> I hope this helps. Sit with your feelings and if you feel you need

> help to process them or deal with them, involve a trusted friend

or a

> counselor.

>

> Intuitive eating will change a lot more than your eating habits.

It

> will change your life.

>

>

>