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Smiling....New to IE

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Hello.

I've dieted or restricted since 14 years old when I weighed 105lbs. I'm

45 this year. From 2000-2005 I lost 112 lbs. (240 to goal of 128) I'm

5'5 " . I did restriction, Weight Watchers, Atkins & South Beach in that

order. I lost hair and muscle in addition to weight.

Three months after I hit goal they found out I had 's diease and

put me on cortisone for life. I freaked because I gained 7 pounds. I

would cry openly at the mall or anywhere in public when I saw a thin

woman because I was not at my goal weight.

Over the next two years the weight stabilized at 145 and then in the

last year crept up to 165. I only slightly blame my medication. I

dieted and restricted to lose the 20 whole pounds (now 30). I failed at

every attempt even though I " knew I could do it " because I had lost

half my size.

The thing that got me into IE was trying a vegetarian (no eggs or dairy)

diet for health reasons. I felt fantastic and happy even though I had

not lost a pound. When my first 30 days was up and I found I had gained

5 lbs I freaked out and started eating cheese and ice cream and candy

bars.

Now it seems hard to get back on track with my vegetarian eating even

though it was not about weight loss, but my ingrained diet mentality

got me way off track.

I know what it feels like to be healthy and enjoy food for food's sake

and I want the diet crap out of my head forever. I want to enjoy my

life and not refuse myself clothing and socialization because I'm " too

fat " . Which is totally subjective because I felt as fat at 130 as I did

at 240.

Sorry this is so long. Glad to be here!

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