The leap of faith

[Guest guest]

Hello all:

I'm reading Full lives

Women who have free themselves from food and weight obsession

I would like to share what Cano has to say about IE which

she

calls spontaneous eating. She so exactly explains what I'm going

throught and maybe many of you.

The best analogy I've found for the leap of faith into spontaneous

eatiing is from Indiana and the Last Crusade. In the movie,

Indiana and his father search for the Cup of Christ, the Holy Grail,

which is said to bring eternal life to anyone whoo drinks form it.

The

third clue to get the holy Grail says " the Path of God: Only in the

leap from the lion's head will he prove his worth. "

When Indiana reaches this third and final challenge, he stands next

to a carving of a lion's head, at the edge of a canyon, miles deep

and

plenty wide enough to rule out an exceptionally broad jump. Indiana

remembers the clue and we hear his father who was left behind with a

mortal wound, saying " You must believe, boy you must beiieve. "

Indiana

has to believe that if he " leaps " or steps off the edge of the lion's

side of the canyon, he will somehow, by the grace of God, not fall to

his death, but rather will be allowed to reach the Holy Grail. We see

him standing there, looking down, and it's pretty obvious that he's

thinking, " Damn it! My father would expect something like this! I'd

have to be out of my mind... " But he realizes that he has little

choice. If he doesn't try, his father will die and he too will be

killed. So he squeezes his eyes shut and he painfully, slowly forces

himself to step off the edge, more or less expecting to fall, but

hoping and desperatelly trying to believe that a miracle will save

him

and lead to the Holy Grail.

That is what it felt like for me to take the leap of faith into

spontaneous eating. It was virtually impossible to believe that my

body

would miraculously find a weight that was right for me. It was even

harder to believe that I would be able to learn to live with myself

and

my body once I had gained whatever amoung of weight resulted. The

most

likely outcome, it seemed, was endless bingeing leading to a huge,

fat me, which in my anorexic mind was a fate much worse than a quick

death at the bottom of a canyon. I was terrified, and a big part of

me

thought the whole notion was crazy. On the other hand, I couldn't

bear

to feel so miserable any more. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to feel

good both physically and emotionally. According to all I had learned,

spontaneous eating and natural weight control was the only effective

alternative to constant dieting. So I saw my choice as follows: try

to

eat spontaneously despite my doubts and fears, or resign myself to a

lifetime of unhappiness and struggle. The analogy is clear. As long

as

you stand on the lion's side of the canyon, you live with chronic

dieting, anorexia nervose, bulimia, or another problem with food. On

the other side of the canyon is God's gift to us all: spontaneous,

effortless eating and natural weight control. But the only way to get

across the canyon is to step into what looks like thin air. There

doesn't appear to be anything there to support you. It doesn't feel

like you're going to make it across. All you have is scientific

studies which indicate that your body is designed to regulate your

weight, if only you would let it do its job unopposed.